What is a fuss?
This is a really interesting thing that I talk about with many of my clients!
I was recently talking to someone who felt that they had to keep the peace, and that meant that they
didn’t stand up for themselves when when people crossed their boundaries and made them feel
We eventually discovered that it dated way back to when she was seven. She made a fuss when she felt
that she had been treated unfairlyand the consequences were quite traumatic !
What this means for her to be content and fulfilled, now and in the future, is that she needed to know
what was important to her and then to be be able to develop a belief that she could be who she was.
Then it was also important to be able to develop the skill of feedback.
Because, here’s the thing!
– She had a belief that she wasn’t important.
-She had made a decision that she couldn’t stand up for herself without everything falling apart
-She also felt unable to experiment with giving feedback and people being ok with how she felt.
I always teach my clients how to feedback in a way that expresses how they are feeling, rather than it
being about who the other person is. After all, we know people aren’t their behaviours, they are just a
result of all of the filtering that we do in our brain, in order to be able to manage all of the information
coming in. The filtering happens as a result of many programmes, memories, values, beliefs and decisions
which lead to us all having a different “Model of the World”.
Now that I have your interest, you can read more about this by downloading a pdf of “how we get results”
We also did some deeper work on her belief that she wasn’t important and that she couldn’t tell people
how she felt and it be ok.
She’s now feeding back to people who are changing their behaviour , now that they know. And isn’t it
interesting that people didn’t know how she felt until she told them. And she feels fine about it because
she knows that it is important to her to be able to do this. Whether you call this making a fuss or not is
a personal thing and doesnt really matter as long as she is happy with who she is.
I’d love to have comments and for you to download the pdf on the link above which will tell you more about how everyone
works differently and why.
If you’d lilke to have a copy of my 5 steps to feedback, send me an e-mail to
firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send you a copy.
Happy Reading and catch you next time.