How to stop anxiety and improve your success
One of my NLP Practitioner students asked me how to stop anxiety that her children had when they went to interviews. She wanted to know how to use NLP to make a difference. It struck me that it would be great to share my thoughts with you! I know that I suffer some mild anxiety in certain situations (usually around organisation of my business) and I use the techniques in this post to help.
Remember that “Anxiety is a warning from the unconscious mind to focus on what you want” Tad James
1) Make sure that you are not suffering with fear from events in the past – this can lead to limiting beliefs and negative hooks to events. These can be easily resolved using NLP and is very easy to do. Anxiety about specific events is future based and can be present without fear from the past.
2) Ask yourself whether the event that you are anxious about is something that you need to do on the way to really important goals for you. I had a client recently who was anxious about meeting someone who had a reputation of being aggressive and she was concerned and quite anxious about this. However, when we talked through her goals, it turned out that it wasn’t important to meet the person for her goals and was more important for her to do other things that would be really helpful. She cancelled the meeting and felt fine about it. By the way; she reached her goals really quickly by reminding herself of them.
3) Find out what the problem is in order to find out how to stop anxiety. So consider the statement “I’m worried about the interview”. If you ask What specifically are you worried about? The answer could be:-
- I don’t know enough
- I don’t know if I’ m good enough (fear of failure or needing someone to tell them they do a good job or lack of self- belief)
- I don’t know if it’s the right job for me (Not knowing what important in a job for them (values) or whether it suits how they work )
- I might have to do something I don’t, deep down, want to do if I get the job (It’s better not to get it)
- What will people think if I don’t get the job? (Concern about Reputation)
- What will people think if I do get the job? (Fear of success)
Acknowledging what the problem is , is a great start resolving it!
4) Knowing the purpose of the anxiety is also useful. There is always a purpose and it’s often about keeping yourself safe. The unconscious mind’s main function is to protect you and this is useful but frustrating at times. Have you ever noticed a situation where you know what you want and what you need to do, but your unconscious mind (that voice) keeps nudging you and saying “remember what happened last time or what people said – wouldn’t you be better not doing it?” Working through how else you can protect yourself is the way to overcome this.
How to stop anxiety
1) If you have fear from events that happened in the past, speak to me about it if it is stopping you from moving forward. Maybe you could say to yourself, the past is the past and I can move on and be the best I can be now and in the future. Maybeyou will need help to work this through. Access a free session here to discuss this.
2) Make sure that you have goals that are specific and ask yourself, does what I’m anxious about get me towards them? Make sure your goals are always where you notice them – on a vision board, in your journal, on your screen saver, securely in your mind.
3) Work out what is important to you – your core values so that you can measure what you are planning to do against them. There is One Key Question that you can ask (link to blog about this)
4) Discover what the real problem is – be honest with yourself. Have a think and fill a form in here if you want to talk through the problem
5) Acknowledge the unconscious mind’s wish to keep you safe and realise that there are many ways of keeping you safe, including going for your goals and what you want in life! Your unconscious mind will agree with you and relax.
6) Anxiety is on the same spectrum of moods as excitement. So you can try turning up your mild anxiety and noticing that you become excited about the event
7) Speak to me about what specific anxiety techniques I can help you with that you will find helpful.
Consider undertaking NLP Practitioner training
My trainings include coaching to get you to the outcomes that you want and you will learn about:-
- Compelling goal setting – how to MAKE SURE you get what you want
- Values- what’s important to you
- How your mind works
- Techniques to avoid internal conflict
- Removing limitations from your mind
- Communicating with yourself and others in an effective way.
- And overcoming anxiety of course!
Here’s the link to have a chat with me about the value to you of doing the course.