What happens if you say YES when you mean to say NO?
If you mean to Say NO and Say YES, then there may be consequences for you!
Its really interesting to think about why we do this (and I think most of us do to some extent)
- Maybe we are people pleasers?
- Maybe we want to be liked?
- Could we be afraid of the consequences?
- Most likely, we are mind-reading what people would say or do?
And what are the consequence when we don’t say no?
- Maybe we feel uncomfortable
- Anxiety kicks in when we are not being ourself – has this happened to you?
- Then we can lose confidence, end up in a vicious circle and then start saying yes even more!
Watch the short video below and then read the tips underneath that will make you think and perhaps do things differently.
If any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to start to say no, here are some things that you could do:
- Stop and think about when you do it
- Say to the person, let me have a think about it
- Take a step back and think about why you are doing it and whether it’s in line with your values and being yourself
- Ask yourself what’s important to you about being you
- Say no if that’s what you’ve decided, explain the reasons and how saying yes is making you feel. You can always find a great way of saying it!
- Move on
If the person is unhappy, then maybe you need to move on from them???? – Just saying -and I know it depends who they are.
You could also take some responsibility for having said yes in the past and the person may well be confused.
How about saying something like this – “I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with you and I haven’t always been totally honest with myself and have said yes when instinctively I have wanted to say no. I’ve realised now what I’m doing and I apologise for any confusion I’m causing. I hope you understand and that we can still have a good relationship”
Enjoy reflecting on this week’s blog! If you want some support to make changes, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or get in touch here http://bit.ly/talktoDrB
See you next week!