Two Things that are Important when You are Negotiating

Negotiating is about your mindset


Negotiating skills

Although we tend to think about negotiating as being in business or work, we are negotiating whenever we  have a discussion with our partners, children, family or friends and we want a specific outcome. Most of us are a bit clumsy in our negotiations as we haven’t really been clear about what we want and what we won’t accept.

I have an NLP graduates group which I run for people that have done their NLP training with me and last month, we talked about how to negotiate effectively. Two points emerged that were key to the people in the training and I thought I’d share them with you.  Have a look at the video below and I’ll explain further below.


  1. Being sure about exactly what you want- specifically so that you can tell the other party. If you don’t tell the other party, then they can’t respond to what you want. This  is called your maximum proposal. You can also think about what this will give you.
  2. Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement – this is your bottom line. The point at which you will walk away if it is not reached. Or you will agree if it is reached.

Let me give you a a theoretical example.

Suppose you have a teenager who wants to go to a party and is asking to stay out overnight. You don’t want this to happen. They are upset and cross. Maybe your maximum proposal could be  that the parents will be present at all times and that  you have spoken to them and that the teenager will ring you when the party has finished.

Maybe your bottom line would be that you have spoken to the parents and checked that they will be in charge.

Once you are clear about these 2 points, you can have that discussion and reach an agreement.

So , in general, think about what you want and what that will give you and then think about your bottom line before you do any negotiation.

I’d love to have your comments on putting this into practice. If you fancy coming on a life-changing NLP course, the details are here.

Have fun and see you next week

Dr Bridget

P.S Remember that you can have a free half hour conversation with me by clicking here and booking an appointment



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