Increasing the Flexibility of your Language
The meaning of our language is the response that we get – an interesting concept which is key to how we communicate.
Maybe you have regular conversations with people and feel as though you are on a “different page” with them or always get the same response during a conversation-not the one you want.
Maybe you are either a big picture person or a detailed person and find it difficult talking to the opposite. I’m a big picture person who tends to be a bit vague with my language. I find that talking to people who are more detailed tends to hurt my head and create brain fog. I expect people who are detailed have the same reaction to my language as well. So its important that we can change our language for this reason.
Using your language at a big picture level is useful in terms of being abe to gain agreement and negotiate with people. For instance we can all agree that its important to be happy.
Getting more detailed with your language enables you to recover information and solve problems by knowing precisely what is happening.
The questions to use to get increasing detail or vague language are below the video.
Lets take a statement such as “I want more clients”
This is a middling chunk size statement – so neither vague or detailed- and it also has a deletion in it as we don’t know what more means.
Let’s chunk up from the statement to get a big picture/ambiguous response. The questions would be
- What is the purpose for getting more clients?
- What will more clients give you?
Perhaps the answer would be to give motivation, success, and confidence. Asking the same questions again – these will enable you to support your family, go on holiday and asking again, these will enable you to reach your full potential and have your rightful place in life. So we’ve gone from wanting more clients to reaching your full potential.
Let’s chunk down from the statement to get more detail or to solve a problem
The questions would be:
- How many specifically
- Who specifically
- What sort of client
They give more detail and clarity which you need when setting goals
You may find out you need 10 clients a month, that they are business owners who feel stuck, and that they live within 10 miles of you. All useful things to think about.
Give it a go and if you have any questions – let me know
We teach communication skills on my NLP courses – click here for more details
See you next week.
Dr Bridget – creating your flexibility.