What is the purpose of our behaviour?
Have you ever thought about the positive reasons for your behaviour or another person’s behaviour? If you do, and fully understand that it has a positive intention for you or that person, then life becomes very interesting. In fact fascinating!
In our NLP courses, Presuppositions – assumptions that are really useful to achieve our full potential, are taught at the very beginning. One of these is “Behaviour always has a positive intention”
So whatever behaviour you see in people or notice in yourself, there will always be a good reason for doing it.
Watch the video and then think about your own behaviour and ask the questions:
I was talking to a client recently who kept getting dragged back to negative events and emotions in the past – so I asked them what was the purpose of thinking those thoughts and doing that behaviour. Once they had analysed the question – because it’s not a normal question that we get asked- they said that they didn’t want to repeat the experience again. The purpose of not wanting to repeat that again was to get peace, which in turn would get them motivation and then success.
So the purpose of reliving that negative experience, in the end, was to get success. So I asked them if there was another way for them to get success and they realised that they could let go of the negative experiences and take positive action instead – a light bulb moment!
There are a lot of other examples that you see around you. Kids tantrums are a great example- frustration getting them attention possibly?
Any of the negative emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt will be things that we do for a reason. Once we realise what the intention is for a behaviour that we don’t want, we can always find other ways to satisfy that intention.
I was lazing around at the weekend – I felt I deserved it and that if I rested and recharged, the week would be more productive. And I started work on Monday and it was pandemonium! If I’d thought about it in a different way and had done some work or admin instead, the week would also have gone better.
So. I’m going to ask you – “Have you got something going on which you don’t want to do but has a positive intention?” If you find that intention, you may be able to tick it in a different way than doing that behaviour. If you are thinking, I don’t know what she’s on about or want to chat your intentions of behaviours through, then let me know via my contact page or give me a ring on 07973 635102.
If you want to learn some more NLP, here’s a link for my courses.
See you next week –
Dr Bridget – helping you analyse your behaviour