What is a People pleaser?
I think a people pleaser is someone who says Yes when they maybe want to say No. They don’t want to be abandoned or rejected and want to be liked. They spend their time worrying, feeling guilty, planning how to be useful to others and this takes up a lot of energy.
Watch the video and see if any of the root causes below apply to you.
What I notice is that often people who are people pleasers have had trauma during their formative years. Some examples of people pleasing root causes would be:
- Striving to be noticed
- Keeping the peace
- Living with someone who controls them
- Feeling abandoned or rejected
The consequences of being a people pleaser is that you end up giving more than you get and then you feel resentful. Often this starts off a downward spiral and self esteem becomes low. So you then make even more of an effort and it becomes one of those viscious circles.
The importance of knowing who you are, being happy with yourself and looking after yourself 1st is something that will break the people pleaser cycle. Often people will struggle with putting themselves 1st altho you can help other people more effectively if you do.
If you know anyone or are struggling with this yourself, contact me and we can start to change the way that you think.
Share this post with anyone that will find it useful and I’ll see you next week
Dr Bridget – helping you put yourself 1st