Hello – As usual, my blogs come from my clients and my own experiences and there have been a few recently. Or tests from the universe as I call them.
Non-negotiables are the things you will not negotiate on. They define not only what you will and won’t accept from others but they also align with your values and principles. They are the promises you keep to yourself, your family and your team. Only you can determine what they are and only you can manage them. And life would be a lot simpler if both ourselves and others knew what ours are.
I’m a grey person. That comes from respecting people’s model of the world and realising that everyone is doing the best they can, so, pretty tolerant generally. But recently, after several events that have happened, I’ve become a bit more black and white and that tends to be around communication and inclusion – I think my values are changing
Have a watch of the video and reflect on what your non-negotiables are
Where have your non-negotiables developed from? As a child we often just soak up things that are around us without really thinking whether they are good for us or not. We then start to experience negative emotions and think to ourself that we don’t want to experience that again or that we do want to experience that again.
If we come up against other peoples non negotiables then we learn and avoid those things or practice them if they are a positive I have non negotiables around behaviour at times. I’ve had a few people stop working with me with no explanation and while I still trust people, if they don’t communicate with me or respect my views, I tend to draw a line under them.
Here’s a task: Have a think about what has happened to you that you feel good or less good about.
My question to you – Do you have any behaviours that you don’t tolerate as a result of what’s happened to you? Similarly, do you have any behaviours that you must have?
We will all be different in our non-negotiables and that is fine. If you find yourself stuck and unable to move on and develop these for whatever reason, and we can talk that through in a free 1/2 hour session
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – helping you to be happy and strong.