Finding the Intention of a Behaviour
I guess that, having followed my posts for a while, you’ll realise that every behaviour has a positive intention for the person doing it, even if we can’t imagine what it can be. Most people will say there is nothing positive to be gained by the behaviour involved in a problem. Examples of positive intentions might be:
- To get attention
- To be yourself
- To live life to the full
And many more but it take a bit of digging to get there sometimes and that’s when the lightbulb moment occurs!
Watch the video and then grab a piece of paper and work out yours. You can even have a bit of a guess about someone else’s behaviour’s intention.
So, watch the video where I give two examples where I find the positive intention of behaviours.
I did this using these three questions:
- What does that give you?
- What’s the purpose of that behaviour?
- Whats the highest positive intention of that behaviour?
I found the intention of these behaviours:
- Feeling flat. I found the positive intention was to live a fulfilled and positive life which is incongruent (doesn’t really fit). So I decided that the best way to go for walks, find friends who would support me, and many other ways. Feeling flat wasn’t of any help.
- Overwhelm. I found the positive intention was to live life in a free and fulfilled way. Again this was incongruent and the person who I was thinking about could get organised, find some time management skills and ask for help maybe instead.
Watch the video to see the steps involved.
Fascinating and light bulb moment – for me anyway –
Action to take:
- Find a behaviour that you are not happy with
- Ask yourself one of the three questions
- Find a positive intention at least four levels up from the problem behaviour
- Find another way of getting that positive intention
If you want to learn some other useful techniques, I’m running an NLP Taster day on the 3rd January and monthly after that- Here is the link for the taster day.
If you are suffering with feeling flat or are overwhelmed, book an appointment to talk about it to me here.
Lets make 2021 a great year!
Enjoy what ever’s happening for you over Christmas and see you soon
Dr Bridget – helping you to solve problems.