Are You ‘IN’ or ‘OUT’ on an Emotional Level?
What I’m talking about is if you are ‘IN’ – you are associated into your emotions – you are feeling that anger, sadness or hurt and living it? It can be helpful or not – only you can decide.
OR are you ‘OUT’ and dissociating? You’ve taken a step back, put yourself as the ‘fly on the wall’ and you’ve considered what is happening and you’ve made some rational and unemotional decisions.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I unpack this concept and give you some useful insights.
It doesn’t happen to me very often, and occasionally on a personal level if I feel someone has rejected me, I can feel quite hurt and upset and question myself what could I have done?
However if I step outside of myself and be a fly on the wall looking at the situation and how I’m reacting, then I can take some learning from it as the emotion is removed and I’m dissociated.
This is an example of one of the filters we talk about in NLP which we call meta programmes.
The question to determine your response is:
If you come into a stressful situation do you feel emotional or are you able to deal with it rationally?
So just ask yourself the question and notice whether you are ‘IN’ your emotions or ‘OUT’ of them and whether that is useful or not. Consider whether you have the choice to be ‘IN’ or ‘OUT’
If you’re IN your emotions and you want to go OUT of your emotions just take a look at yourself from the ‘fly on the wall’ perspective and take some learning from that.
You may also do some breathing work to enable you to reduce the negative emotions.
Also, you can get into peripheral vision where you are aware of everything around you and that reduces all the adrenaline and the associated emotions. If you want know more about these skills then just let me know as I teach this on my NLP courses.
If you’d like a chat about whether you feel as though you are “too emotional” or “not emotional enough” please get in touch with me here – I do a free 30 minute session to discuss challenges and patterns of thoughts and feelings that are unhelpful for you.
Until next week
Dr Bridget – choosing whether to be “in” or “out”.