Using NLP To Dissociate From Negative States
Hi and welcome to another prescription to success. Following on from last week we’re now going to be talking about using NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) to dissociate from negative states and it’s a technique that will be useful for you and useful to hand on to other people.
Why would we want to help people dissociate from negative states? – Really it’s because it’s uncomfortable, so when people are in the emotional state and looking through their own eyes they feel maybe sad, or scared, or angry. It’s a bit like one of those paths in a forest which you go down so many times and its all overgrown and you never really get anywhere and you get stuck and you are still stuck in that story you’ve created for yourself, which isn’t useful. When we’re in that negative state then we quite often find it much easier to find other negative states and then we stop taking action and our life as a whole deteriorates.
What is dissociation? – It’s mentally removing yourself from an emotional state or a situation that you’ve got in your head that’s stopping you from moving forward.
How do we do that?
- It’s really like stepping outside or being a fly on the wall – I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it, but I find it a really useful technique. If I’m having some negative emotions, I just put myself as a fly on the wall and have a look at myself. Then I think “what are you doing“, “why are you doing that – that’s ridiculous?” because the emotions tend to disappear in the dissociated state and we can take learnings.
- You can break state. So in NLP courses we say “can you smell popcorn?” or we ask people to look up and repeat their mobile number backwards the last four digits. and really that’s just taking you into using your other senses and that’s dissociating you.
- We can do a pattern interrupt. If someone’s doing some negative emotions (if you’ve got good rapport and you pre-framed it), you might say STOP because they’re doing the pattern and they hadn’t realized. If you keep doing that, you create stop as part of that pattern then they will start to stop themselves from doing it.
- We can change our physiology so I usually tell people to do star jumps or run around the garden or do a little bit of dance. Just changing your physiology so it changes your emotional state and dissociates you.
- Use some fun- if you’ve got a good enough rapport with someone then you can actually start to scramble what they’re doing in their head and have a bit of a laugh.
I always remember doing a phobia with someone who had a phobia of woodlice which he got from finding her Gran’s handbag in the garden and with lots of woodlice inside. It was stopping her from doing anything in the garden, and we just scrambled that using a fast phobia technique but also with some laughter and those woodlice went to a night club, had a few drinks and in the end, it got quite funny and the whole thing just disappeared.
If someone’s shifting their emotional state, you can shift yours as well with them and then create new states and new neurological pathways. It’s almost like having that new path in the forest where the old ones are overgrown and you can’t get anywhere and the new one is just straight ahead, fun and good news for your life really.
So that’s a few ways you can use dissociation to get out of an emotional state.
Putting that together with association from last week, quite often what NLP will do is to do this pattern. Associate someone into a problem and then dissociate them using one of those techniques, or language patterns and then give them loads of positive resources. You then ask them to look back at the negative state that they had which then just disappears – fascinating stuff, really useful to do.
If you want to come on the course and learn how to do these patterns or to get rid of any negative states that you have, then contact me and we can work out which is the best way to do that and get started.
Until next time
Dr Bridget – watching