What does personal growth mean?

personal growth

What does personal growth mean?

I’m really passionate about personal growth and I’m always really curious about what enables people to grow, and what enables me to grow (as I’m always growing).

So I thought that in this week’s Prescription for Success I’d talk about what personal growth means and consider some key components of personal growth. Watch the video and have a think about your own personal growth.

I think it’s about your knowledge, your skills and competency in a particular area of your life. Maybe in an area where you want to be able to think and feel and grow to be really excellent to get the results that you want in your life.

There are certain components to this. In my view there’s:

  • Self-awareness – is about being aware of your own qualities and other people’s qualities so that you are in control.
  • Self-confidence -is being aware of your strengths and weaknesses so you can do whatever you want to do and reach your goals.
  • Self-love – is your ability to take care of yourself and to love yourself which gives you a feeling of self-worth.
  • Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself on the journey as you are now. I always think of personal growth as a journey and whether you think you’ve got there or you are on the way, you can accept yourself for where you are and take some lessons as things happen.
  • Self-compassion – is when you take care of yourself no matter what happens – so be compassionate if you make a mistake or other people think you make a mistake and just say to yourself “that’s fine”. Say  “I’m on the journey of personal growth and I’ll learn from that”
  • Self-reliance – That’s being able to rely on yourself and not be dependent on other people and be at cause (in charge of your feelings and decisions).

So that to me is what personal growth is.

If you are struggling with this then get in touch because I do a free half-hour where we can have a chat about any of those things that you want to improve. In particular, my NLP course is all about gaining excellence and being the person you want to be so be sure to get in touch.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – growing each day and loving it.

How to maintain your focus

MAINTAIN YOUR FOCUSHow to maintain your focus

Your emotional state affects your focus.

You can call your emotional focus an emotional state and even a behaviour as it is something you do.

What happens is that what you see, hear, feel and say to yourself is filtered and becomes your reality. That then creates an emotional state which then creates your behaviour.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss how to maintain your focus and consider how your emotional state affects your behaviour and hence impacts on your focus.  Watch the video and let me know what you think.

If you want a focused behaviour then you need a good emotional state, you need positivity rather than negativity.  In a previous blog  we talked about how to get rid of your negative feelings and experiences, limiting beliefs  and behaviours so that you can become positive.

I was talking with someone recently, who has done a significant amount of work with me, and because he didn’t have much sleep the night before he was in a physiological state that also created an emotional state that was a bit negative.  So, he was feeling a bit stuck, had some doubts and he wasn’t taking all the action that he needed to.

After talking it through he realised that he was taking a huge amount of action to get a significant goal however he just needed a few systems around it. As we talked, his emotional state changed to positive so we anchored that emotional state and he can now go through the day feeling positive.

In order to maintain your focus you need a positive emotional state. It comes from your physiology, your reality and from removing all the things in the past that we discussed in the previous blog.

So if you are having trouble maintaining your emotional state to be positive then get in touch it’s quite easy to sort out using Time Line Therapy and some other NLP techniques

If you are a coach or someone who wants to learn these techniques then I do four NLP practitioner courses a year and I also train up to ‘Trainers training’ so that you can train other people to do these things.

If you are interested just book an appointment and we can have a chat about how I can help whether its for you personally or for you to work with other people.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget

 

How your motivation helps you focus

MotivationHow your motivation helps you focus

In order to focus, you need some sort of motivation.

Our motivations are either ‘towards’ what we want or they are ‘away’ from what we don’t want.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I explain how ‘away’ and ‘towards’ motivations influence us and help us to focus. Are your motivations ‘away from’ or ‘towards’?  Watch the video and let me know what you think.

If you’ve had some things happen to you in the past that are particularly upsetting or have given you negative emotions – anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt, or you’ve developed some really powerful negative beliefs, these can stop you from focusing on your motivations.

What happens is you become attracted to these negatives and you get stuck in the past so you’re motivated by the things you don’t want to happen. Your past is driving you to the future but it’s s still there.

Alternatively, when you’re focused on your future and what you really want in your future then it’s really easy to move forward.

‘Away’ and ‘towards’ motivations are really key to focus.

You can get rid of the ‘away’ from motivations by doing something like Timeline Therapy or any other NLP techniques that deal with emotions and values. Then your values will become clean, and uncluttered by the past and you’ll be able to move forward into the future.  You will be totally focused then on your future and enjoying the present taking the action you need. That’s what I do in Breakthrough Therapy and also what I teach on NLP courses.

So if you’re interested in this or if you feel like you’re not really heading towards the motivations you want and you’re stuck in the past and finding it difficult to focus then get in touch as I can sort that out for you really quickly.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget

 

How to Change Your Reality

How to change your reality

How to Change Your Reality

This subject is totally fascinating, you change your reality by the process of filtering:

  • your emotions,
  • your experiences
  • your memories
  • your values and beliefs
  • and your language

We also use something called meta programmes in NLP.

By doing this filtering we create a reality and that reality doesn’t always work for us.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you an NLP process that can change your reality from something that is an  ‘unwanted reality’ to a ‘wanted reality’.  Listen to the video and get in touch if you need some help with this.

I always remember, a few years ago I did this process with someone who hated doing their admin – she was neglecting doing her book keeping, and not following up on leads or organising her client information. Although she was very good at her job she hated doing the admin work.

On the flip side she actually loved dancing so we used this to help her.

Firstly we identify ‘unwanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel.  Then, we identify the ‘wanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel.  You will find that the components of each are completely different but by using NLP techniques you can change the list. So, you can make  the ‘unwanted behaviour’ have the same components as the ‘wanted behaviour’.  You can switch the visuals, auditories and the kinesthetics so that the unwanted behaviour looks and feels like the wanted one

After undertaking this process with my client she went home and actually tidied up her home, did all her admin and paid her tax bill within 24 hours and it just felt like dancing.

I’ve also worked with another couple  of people recently who were not being who they wanted to be or had been in the past.  So together we elicited the ‘unwanted behaviour’ the ‘unwanted personality’  then we elicited what they ‘used to be’  what they ‘wanted to be’ and we just swapped it over so that person just became what they always were in the past. And it was really effective for them.

It’s quite a quick process and takes approximately half an hour. So, if there is something that you want to change that’s fairly simple then get in touch as I do a free half an hour call to start with to see what we need to do then we can actually do that process.

We also cover these processes on our NLP Courses so if you’d like to learn them then click here to find out more.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – being exactly who I want to be.

How to deal with indecisiveness

How to deal with indecisiveness in order to be successful

How to deal with Indecisiveness In Order to Be Successful

To be successful in your business, life or relationships it’s really useful to have an element of decisiveness. Sometimes people get caught up in being indecisive and that means they have no clear direction or thought processes.  They have the “Shall I,” Shan’t I,” “Will I,” Won’t I,” conflict that goes on in their heads.

They know that if they want to get rid of anxiety and reach their goals, then they have to be decisive.

With this in mind, in this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to talk a little bit about ‘parts’, which is an NLP term. If you find yourself being indecisive, watch the video and learn about this NLP technique to help.

What are ‘parts’ in NLP?

A ‘part’ refers to  parts of the unconscious mind that cause conflict.  So, sometimes I believe in myself but sometimes I don’t believe in myself, or part of me thinks I’m good enough and part of me thinks I’m not good enough.

The causes of parts in the unconscious mind are significant emotional events. They may be adverse childhood experiences or they may be significant events or traumas from later on in your life.  When these events happen then sometimes it’s just a little wobble or sometimes it can create limiting beliefs or limiting decisions.

If the rate of change of a particular emotional process is quite fast or significant in terms of the actual strength of that emotion then it can cause parts, phobias and sometimes multiple personalities.

A part is in conflict with another part, and the theory behind resolving parts is that they were once whole and can become whole again by reintegrating the parts. Then looking to see what the parts have as a positive intention, realising that both parts have the same highest positive intention and reintegrating them using an NLP technique.

I teach people how to do this on my NLP Courses and I also do a lot of work with people who have conflict and want to have some coaching and/or to do a breakthrough process with me.

If you’ve got conflict and if you are indecisive then there will be a root cause behind that. Get in touch because I do a free half hour call  where we can find out what’s going on and then resolve it. You then won’t have that conflict anymore and you can just get on with your life and feel happy.

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget – being decisive

 

What triggers unwanted behaviours?

Triggers unwanted behaviours

What triggers are there for unwanted behaviours?

Triggers are what set a sequence of behaviour off and also the sequence of things that happen in your mind at an unconscious level to lead to an outcome.

There are so many unwanted behaviours including procrastination, doubting yourself, withdrawing from people, being irritable and argumentative, drinking alcohol, binge eating, comfort eating the list is endless.

People’s unwanted behaviour will be personal to them. So what is an unwanted behaviour for one person may not be unwanted for another person.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss the triggers for unwanted behaviours and  give you some tips from an NLP perspective on how you can change these behaviours.

NLP Strategies

Every behaviour has what we call a strategy in NLP where there is a trigger.  The trigger will be something that you see, something that you hear or something that you say to yourself which will set of a sequences of things in your brain that will lead to a specific behaviour.

For example

I used to have a behaviour where I’d see the clock at 6pm and I’d look at the fridge and say to myself it’s time for a glass of wine and I’d go and have a glass of wine. So, that’s a sequence of events that I used to do.

It is possible to interrupt these sequence of events and get a different sequence of events and hence a different behaviour. If you are interested in learning more about this from a coaching or professional level or would like to know more for yourself then we cover NLP strategies on my NLP courses. 

The other thing about unwanted behaviours which is really interesting is that every behaviour has a positive intention and has a purpose. People don’t do behaviours for reason there is always a purpose for them therefore every behaviour has a positive intention for the person who is doing it.

If you think about any triggers for unwanted behaviour that you might have then you’ll start to notice those triggers at a conscious level and you could start to change those.

You could also ask yourself what are you getting out of the behaviour?  It might to seem obvious to start with, when I ask people this they can’t often identify the intention of a behaviour but quite often it’s about protection.

For example

If you were to withdraw from a discussion you are probably doing that to protect yourself in some way and this would give you some sort of security and that security might give you happiness and the happiness might give you the ability to live your life to the full.

From a NLP perspective we call this chunking up and by doing this you get to the real positive intention for the behaviour so what you might get out of it then what else you might get out of it.  Then you can ask yourself what might you want to do instead?

This is all about awareness raising so once you know the trigger and the purpose for that behaviour and what you’d rather do instead then at a conscious level you actually make some changes.

If you can’t make those changes then just get in touch I do a free half hour where we can explore what is going on and at an unconscious level we can change things really quickly.

So if you’ve been doing something for a long time and you don’t want to do it then get in touch. If you want to learn how to do it with other people then come on an NLP Course. 

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget

 

How useful is flexibility?

Flexibility

How useful is flexibility?

In NLP we teach the key presupposition that the person with the most flexibility is in charge of the system.  So, how useful is it to us to be flexible?

In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about how being flexible can help you get the outcomes you desire.  Listen to the video and have a think about how flexible you are and is it working for you.

I’ve recently been really interested in myself because there is something that I would really like to happen which involves another person and they’ve  got a different model of the world.

I really wanted it and I was doing everything I could to get what I wanted but it wasn’t working.

I thought, I’m an NLP Master Trainer and I teach that the person with the most flexibility is in charge of the system and I was aware that I wasn’t being particularly flexible.  So, I took a step back and thought about the results that I really wanted, I then thought about how I could change my communication, my beliefs and maybe my environment so that I could actually influence that result and get the outcome I wanted.

If you are struggling with getting an outcome, ask yourself:

  • What is the outcome I want?
  • Is my behaviour and what I am doing getting me the outcome?
  • Are my beliefs helping me get the outcome?

If  you are not getting the outcome, then think about what you can do differently in order to get that outcome.

I would also say take that positive intention that this is going to happen.

If you are interested in finding out more about this my NLP courses cover all of these things , the flexibility, being in charge of the system is a key presupposition in NLP and it makes life very interesting.

Get in touch  if you’d like to have a chat about courses or you need some help with being flexible.

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget – being flexible

 

What Affects Your Decision Making?

Decision Making

What Affects Your Decision Making?

It’s really important to be able to decide how you make your decisions, because your decisions affect your behaviour, which gets you your results.

We make decisions at every stage in our lives. We can make split second decisions or we can take time to deliberate over our decisions.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to be looking at what affects our decision making, and reflect upon the influence of our upbringing, our values and our internal makeup on our decision making. Listen to the video and let me know what affects your decision making.

I thought it would be good to consider this particularly as I have had a period of indecision over a couple of years and it was uncomfortable.   I was feeling that part of me wanted to do one thing and part of me wanted to do something else. This resulted in a huge amount of conflict going on in my head which was making me unwell. I was eating more. I wasn’t sleeping so well and wasn’t feeling very good.

I think it’s important to be able to make decisions – but what affects our decision making?

Parental Influence

I think that maybe your decision making has been brought about by your parents, maybe they have made split-second decisions and you are modelling them.  Alternatively you may think, I’m fed up of making decisions that quickly and I’m just going to think longer about it before making my decision.

Your parents and how they made decisions is key to how you make decisions.

Your Values

Your motivators are your values which are going on at an unconscious level.  (Click here to download my values workbook to  help you to work out your values.)   If you know what your motivators are it becomes quite easy to make decisions.

My values for my business are about determination, self-care, having fun and make a difference and if something doesn’t tick any of these values then I’m not going to do it. So, knowing your values makes it easier to make decisions.

Your internal make up

If you are having difficulty making decisions, sometimes it can be part of your internal make up. In NLP we teach meta-programmes. One of the 18 meta-programmes is that “when you come into a situation do you act straight away and then think about it or do you reflect and then make a decision”.

In a recent relationship I had,  the other person was a reflector and I was an action-taker and it was quite difficult because I just wanted to take action and then think about it and they wanted to think about it and then take action.  So it does have an affect

So work out your values for whatever part of your life that you are having difficulty making decisions. Just be aware of your conflicts and what your internal negative chatter is saying to you and also be aware of your beliefs about things and  then either:

  • Take a decision and then think about it whether it works,
  • Or don’t make a decision and think about it and see if that works out.

So as Yoda says – “There is no such thing as try – you either do or you don’t.” So take the do or the don’t decision and then go from there.

If you are having a bit of difficulty, if it’s giving you conflict, if it’s giving you sleepless nights, if you are not sure and you just want a chat to someone then get in touch  as I do a free half hour call.

Let me know if you are having difficulty making decisions and I’m just going to make a decision now to finish this blog as I think I’ve waffled on enough.

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget

 

The Focusing Questions

The focusing questionsThe Focusing Questions!

The secret of getting ahead is to get started!

The secret of getting started is to break the large amount of tasks that you have down into discrete parts.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about two focusing questions that you can ask yourself to enable you to identify what you want and how to get ahead.  Watch the video and ask yourself the questions below.

There are 2 levels of question that you can ask:

Firstly – what is it that you want? What is the one thing that you want – whether that’s happiness, wealth, success – what is it?

Secondly –  what is the one thing that you can do right now that will get you that one thing that you really what you want?

It’s as simple as that. So, scroll around amongst your tasks and think what is the one thing that will really make that difference to get that one thing which is your overall goal?

If you don’t know or you can’t do it then just get in touch  and we can talk that through because I do a free session to help you get started and get ahead.

So to get started, just ask yourself the 2 focusing questions and then you can get ahead

See you next week

Dr Bridget – focused on getting ahead!

 

A Choice of What to Do

A choice of what to doA Choice of What to Do

It would be great if we always had a choice of what to do.  However, sometimes we get a little programmed and things happen to us and we decide we can’t do things.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about the choices we have  available to us and how we can be more decisive in our choices so that we do the things we want to do and be the way we want to be. Watch the video and try out the task below.

I was speaking to someone recently, who used to be very outgoing, confident, chatty and decisive.  Then they went through some difficult experiences and they decided that all they could do was have a low mood, be less outgoing, confident, chatty and decisive.

This is what I think –

If you have decided to be in a low mood, be less outgoing, confident, chatty and decisive then you can also decide to revert that and to change it to do what you used to do.

Sometimes it’s as simple as making that decision.

If this is you then you can just float down into your body to that place when you were outgoing, confident, chatty and decisive, or whatever scenario you choose, and just decide that you actually take that on and be that person again and do those things.

If you can’t do this then just get in touch because that’s what I help people to do.

I help people to recreate what they used to have and what they want now but can’t seem to get it because of the negative chatter going on in their head.

So just make a decision and go with it

See you next week

Dr Bridget – enjoying being decisive!

 

How to get Happiness

How to get happinessHow to create Happiness

I think of happiness is an emotional state created by how we process information. Also I think it can be created by changing our physiology and the things we do.

I can help you change the way that you process information in order to get a reality that’s different for you to get a better emotional state. But in the meantime, I think a lot of happiness is about being present and just noticing those small things.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you my tips on how to be present and enjoy those small things in life. Watch the video and try out the tips below for yourself.

My Happiness Jar

Over the last few months I’ve been creating a happiness jar.  I’ve put in it things that are personal to me and make me happy for example I have a small notebook that my mum wrote in about various milestones when I was a child, a note about walking at the beach,  or spending time with grandchildren and pets.

My Joy Album

I’ve also got a joy album on my phone where I put some photographs that make me happy for example photos of pets, scenery or special cards I’ve received.

You may have some things going on in life or in the past but if you can concentrate on being present, capturing joy and happiness and then have something you can go to when things are not as good as they could be, then that can be really helpful.

However if it’s gone further than that and you really need some help then get in touch because I can definitely help you with that.

So enjoy your joy and I’ll see you next week

Dr Bridget – enjoying being happy!

 

How to Cultivate Vitality

How to cultivate vitalityHow to Cultivate Vitality

Vitality has been proven to be a great way to get resilience in light of all the stresses and strain we may have on a daily basis.

As an example – Recently I was planning to meet a friend in England and at the same time my mum fell and broke her hip and ended up in hospital and then the dog was sick. Sometimes we get days like this when things happen one after the other. However if you have vitality then you become more resilient. It’s really about the decision to be vital.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about how we can cultivate vitality and become more resilient watch the video and consider what you are cultivating.

In research, people label people as like ‘velcro’ or ‘teflon’ in terms of vitality.

In the ‘velcro’ group people were stuck, they had conflict, they had lost their confidence and had spiralled down into negativity. This resulted in them eating things that they shouldn’t, watching endless television and just doing things that were not helpful to them.

In the ‘teflon’ group people made plans but were flexible with their plans and they also supported others.

The difference between the two – the ‘velcro’ and the ‘teflon’ is really about being proactive. So, if you want to be a ‘teflon’ person them make plans, go out and do things, socialise and get on with life. Otherwise you will tend to be a ‘velcro’ person.

Ask yourself whether you are a ‘velcro’ or ‘teflon’ person? Have you tried these things in order to become more resilient and have vitality?

If you have tried it and it’s not going very well then get in touch because there will be some root causes that make it difficult for you to do the upward spiral rather than the downward spiral and I can help you with this really quickly.

So that’s me – I think I’m pretty ‘teflon’ at the moment and I know what to do to not be ‘velcro’.

See you next week,

Dr Bridget