Dr Bridget’s Christmas Message – Getting Stuck

How to be Successful in Networking

Networking

How to be successful in networking.

This week’s prescription follows on from last week’s where we were discussing consciousness.  If you bring consciousness into your networking then you will be successful.

In this week’s Prescription for Success, I share with you some top tips on how to get the best out of networking and be successful. Watch the video and try the tips for yourself.

The three Cs for Networking

One of the ideas that I use in networking is by using the “3 Cs ”

1. Having Clarity – This is the offering, who you are looking for and what you are going to say.

2. Connections – Being yourself, showing up as yourself and really wanting to get into rapport.

3. Consistency – Showing up at the networking event and then following up.

Being successful at networking events is really about habits. Here are some more tips:

  • Stay visible by engaging and having 1:1s with people.
  • Ensure that whoever refers to you are kept updated on what has happened.
  • Ask for the business – people sometimes stop short at this point, they build up an amazing rapport and don’t follow through and ask for a sale.
  • Be organised.
  • Look out for others and give back.

While this is a more practical Prescription it’s also about being present while you are networking and having that best intention for other people and this will get you success in networking.

I’d like to network with any of you, it’s great to get to know people, so get in touch with me because there is always something good that can happen as the result of a chat.

ooking forward to chatting with you.

Dr Bridget – looking forward to chatting with you.

P.S. I’m running an NLP course in November from the 5-8th plus 26-29th – a great way to get to know yourself and increase your confidence in working with others. Here’s a link to the course information where you can also download a brochure for dates and prices.

How to Understand Your Emotions

Emotional state

Understanding your emotions

There are several models in psychology and NLP about understanding your emotions but the one I want us to focus on this week is a two dimensional model. This model is really useful because if you can understand and grade your emotions, you’ll then realise what you need to do to change your emotions and this really is empowering.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to unpack this two-dimensional model for you and explain how being aware of your emotions can benefit you. Watch the video and work through the different examples below as this is an interesting way of looking at it and awareness is key.

 

The two dimensional model takes account of:

  1. Valence – which is attractiveness, whether something is good or bad, positive or negative, it’s the subjective attractiveness of the emotion.
  2. Arousal – which refers to whether you are energetic or lethargic, wakeful or sleepy

Valence, is that subjective feeling. For example just because something is good or bad it doesn’t mean it is good or bad for you or for someone else.

Similarly, with arousal if you have negative feelings such as fear or anger they may appear negative but they actually could be really motivating for you.  Alternatively, you may have what are considered as positive feelings like relaxed or calm but these might potentially be preventing you from taking action.

So let’s consider this in a little more detail looking at the different combinations of Arousal and Valence

High Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Astonished, Excited, Delighted, Happy, Pleased

High Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Content, Serene, Calm, Relaxed

Low Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Annoyed, Afraid, Angry, Frustrated

Low Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Miserable, Depressed, Bored, Tired

Two dimensional Model of Emotion

Maybe if you knew which  you were doing at any one time, you could choose to do a different combination?

If you find that you are not managing your emotions then please get in touch here or give me a call on 07973 635102   –  I’m a “chief unsticker” and sometimes these negatives get in our way,  I can help you to manage your emotions, no matter where they have come from  so that you can live the life you want and have the business you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – On an emotional roll!

Why hope matters

Hope matters

Why does hope matter?

When I first came across this concept about ‘Why hope matters’ in an article I was reading, I was a little unsure about it.  The reason for my uncertainty was that I think that using words like ‘try’, ‘maybe’, ‘wish’ or ‘hope’,  isn’t very positive or effective. This is because our unconscious mind thinks ‘it might not happen’ or ‘it doesn’t really matter’.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you some really interesting insights into ‘why hope matters’  when it comes to creating your future reality.  Watch the video and consider below your attitude and stance when it comes to ‘hope’.

Someone who is hopeful is someone who is radically realistic.

I can never decide whether I’m a ‘glass half empty’ or a ‘glass half full’ type of person. I think of myself as being really positive but I do also consider what the obstacles might be and then mitigate against them.  In the article it  actually stated that someone who is hopeful looks at obstacles and makes plans to get around them. Whew – that’s a relief!

It’s also reassuring that leaders inspire hope in both themselves and others and it gives them their purpose.

Ask yourself:

Are you a ‘High Hoper’?

‘High hopers’ take action, they withstand discomfort or pain, they are equipped for diversity. Hope gives us drive and is goal directed.

There are three things that ‘High Hopers’ have:

  1. Destination – they have highly developed goals.
  2. Route – they know how they are going to get to their goals.
  3. Means of Transport – they know how they are going to do it,  how they are going achieve their goals.

Whereas “Low Hopers’ tend to generalise about their destination so they may know where they are going but are unclear about it . They may have an idea about how they are going to get there but are vague about their actions.

So I want to ask you which would you rather be – a ‘High Hoper’ – ‘Low Hoper’ or maybe somewhere in the middle.

Think about whether you are:

  • clear about your destination;
  • clear about your route;
  • and clear about the means of transport.

If you are not clear about any of these and your really want to be a ‘High Hoper’ and a high achiever then get in touch or give me a call on  07973 635102 as there are lots of things that can get in your way and I’m really skilled in getting rid of those for you.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Hoping you get in touch!

What to do about Overthinking

Overthinking – How to change the channel

Overthinking

Overthinking is very common and can be an issue which causes mental health challenges, lack of sleep and it also stops us from solving problems. I always  remember the time, a couple of years ago, when I was standing in the kitchen with so many things going on in my head and it kept me rooted to the ground and stuck! That was a physical manifestation of over thinking. It lead to procrastination and stopped me from sleeping.

Have a watch of the video below, and then read about the ways to stop the overthinking and change the channel, to one of a peaceful and focused mind


These are the main ways that I use and teach my clients to use:

  1. Notice all of the chatter- rather than just keeping overthinking. Become aware of it when it happens.
  2. Focus on solving the problem – use time management and productivity tools like the pomodora technique. Plan your month, week, day and hours. Write lists and prioritise. Journaling helps.
  3. Challenge the beliefs  you have that may not be true. If you think “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do that”, you may be wrong and it may be a result of past programming and protecting yourself from past hurts.
  4. Schedule time for reflection. So journaling, meditation, mindfulness are very useful.
  5. Time Line Therapy (R) is an American Board of NLP technique which is extremely effective and removes major negative emotions and any limiting beliefs from your thinking. It’s amazing how effective this is and how the overthinking simply stops leaving you room to live your life to your full potential, Ask me for more information.

If you are struggling, let me know. You can fill in the contact form here, or book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me

See you next week

Dr Bridget – clearing your thinking

 

Comfort Zones – Are they Good or Bad?

Comfort Zones Is it good to be stuck in our ‘Comfort Zones?’

It’s common to hear in the business world, “I really need to get out of my comfort zone, I’m aspiring towards my goals and to get there I need to get out of my comfort zone.”

Recently I was way out of mine and I noticed something very interesting.

I had employed someone to set up some systems and admin for me and then out of the blue that person left and handed all the work back to me. At the time I thought, “I could learn to do this, maybe I could manage this by myself.”  In all honesty I probably could have done it but I didn’t consider the extra work from a time perspective. Suddenly, my work balance went completely Kaput!

People have different ‘brick walls’ where you can see the end result and you just can’t get there. I found that I couldn’t cope and I became uncomfortable, I was completely out of my comfort zone.  So what I did was I returned to where I felt comfortable, and I thought “phew, blimey that’s better.”

Watch this week’s video to find more about the benefits of being in your comfort zones.

It’s hard for people to see at times that being in your comfort zone is not a bad thing. It is okay to be comfortable. When you’re in your comfort zone you are more self aware and it’s easier to know what’s going on inside your head. You know what to expect and you can recognise your capabilities in a stress free environment.

I’m all for people reaching their full potential and expanding and growing, but if you want success you don’t have to throw yourself completely out of your comfort zone.

You can do it gradually, increase the difficulty slowly and when it becomes too much too soon, just slowly take a step back, do things differently or even repeat things. Find out what works for you at your own pace it’s a gradual process there is no need to rush.

Sometimes you can have goals and aspirations that are reachable, but if you rush in you can get stuck. Take your time on your journey, plan your route to suit you!

If you are currently stuck get in touch and you can talk to me about comfort zones and how past decisions have helped form your comfort zone. I can also help you to gradually leave your zone at your own pace.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you grow at the pace that suits you and that you are happy with.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

Using Loops – Good or Bad?

Using Loops

Do you use loops?

Do you use loops? – Is it good or bad for us?

I got out of bed this morning and went across the corridor to my office, walked through the door and looked around and thought, “Oh my God.”

So what is a loop?  In any sort of training we use what we call loops it’s when you open something. It could be the opening of a sentence, a bit of story like I’ve just done or even a project, then at some other time we close them.

The reason this works well in any sort of training is that the unconscious mind is really focused on the incomplete sentence, story or project and recognises that it needs finishing. It’s called the Zeigarnik effect where we start something and plan to finish it a bit later.

So are loops good or bad?

The brain likes an open loop because it’s looking for closure – there is always more. However, if we close a loop we then lose that motivation because there is nothing for our mind to focus on. Alternatively, if we don’t close the loops then there is no space to open new ones and that affects our motivation because we have lots of clutter in our thinking.

Watch the video and then have a think about the activity below:

Try this out, you’ll be surprised what you’ll find.

  1. Make a list of your open loops.
  2. Make a list of your open loops that need closing.
  3. Make a list of your closed loops that need opening.
  4. Make of  list of any new loops that you want to open.

Have a think about your loops and how you are using them and what you need to do about them.

I realised whilst doing this blog that  I am an opener of loops rather than a closer. I have lots of loops open, lots of projects and some of them are appropriate and some are not. I’m an ideas person so there are lots of open loops and nothing is closed which leads to clutter both physically and in my head which isn’t always very good for organisation or motivation – we’ll discuss this next week.

“Oh my God,” I thought, I really don’t know what’s where, some things are organised and some are not, there are lots of things I need to do, lots of things to sort out. In the end I just picked everything up and put it in the spare room and started again. I closed the loop so I could have space to open another or work on a loop already open.  I know there will come a time when I’ll need to reopen that loop again but that’s for another day!

If you have an loops that you are having difficulty with whether it’s closing, opening or even reopening them, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- looping the loop.

How Do you Know Your Identity?

Know your identity

Who are you?

Know your Identity and who you really are

Knowing who we are, our identity, personality and our values is a great motivator for us.

It enables us to reflect on when we are being ourselves or not being ourselves and this in turn helps us to make decisions.

Our identity comes from

  • Our purpose – why are we here on the planet
  • Our values, beliefs and qualities – what’s important to us
  • Our environment – what’s going on around us and what are we doing

From this we come up with a thought – this is who I am.

Often in times of stress we can lose sight of who we are or maybe we even don’t know we are anyway.  But it’s important in your life, in your business or career to know who you really are.

Watch the video and then have a think about the questions below:

Here is a little activity for you:

Take a piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you?
  • Who were you when you were a child?
  • Who were you when you were a teenage?
  • Who were you in your 20s, 30s 40s… and so on?

I recently did this activity with a client who acknowledged that in each answer she was always looking out for others, always taking care of others and making sure they were happy. This ran through her life and before doing this she had not realised it. Making a difference for people is part of her personality. This was good to know as she then realised that she wasn’t living her personality in her home or work life and this enabled her to make some decisions and take action.

When you’ve completed the activity, think of a symbol for who you are.  I think of a jigsaw puzzle piece as I like to help people put things together.

Some might think of a shining light

Whatever your symbol – live with that and make decisions by that.

If there are parts of your personality that you don’t particularly like, for example, a behaviour that you are doing, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.