Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

The Benefits of Consistency

Consistency Gives You that Slight Edge

Consistency

Consistency

Hi

I’m sure you have already experienced the benefits of being consistent? And very likely been inconsistent and become frustrated with yourself?
Ive been becoming more consistent this year and this means that I notice when I’m not – things like forgetting to drink water or exercise every day.
And a couple of things have reminded me of the benefits recently:
  1. I started to read “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson again. It’s a brilliant book which is about finding the actions that are small but, if applied consistently, will creat you the results that you want. It has an amazing story about 2 frogs – have a watch of the video to find out more
  2. I went to a Client attraction summit and realised that I just needed to do certain things consistently to grow my client base and reach my goals going forward.
And I’ve made some decisions about my health and fitness and also about my business. Both of which will enable me to help more people and have more fun.
Have a watch of the video below:

I therefore wanted to encourage you to become more consistent. Work out what small actions will give you what you want in your life and then do them. You are probably nearly there when you give up, so just keep going and you will get there – much like the frog!
If there’s anything stopping you or getting in your way, let me know and we can have a talk about it and find out what help is needed to achieve your goals and dreams.
Keep on keeping on and see you next week
Dr Bridget -consistently being on your side!

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget

What you Need to know about your Values?

Your Values – knowing about them is important!

ValuesI was recently asked to give a talk to  a group of women who want to be more successful and I chose the subject of values. This is because they are so important in driving your success in life or even driving you down a road that you don’t want to go down.  I’ve given you access to a values elicitation tool here so that you can find out yours.

Values are your motivators, your drivers. They are usually in place by the age of 7 and can then get changed as life happens and we change our beliefs. watch the video below and then read the rest of the reasons for the importance of  knowing your values below the video. Remember to download your Values tool.

If you know what your values are you can really use them in the following ways:

  • Tick them – so use them in your life, business, career or relationships. Mine for my business are Determination, Fun, Clarity and Making a difference and I make sure that I “tick”those every day and then feel happy with  my progress.
  • Live by them. So I measure my decisions in terms of whether they are ticking my values – It’s so much easier to make those decisions then.
  • Explain to others what they are. When I do this they understand me and “get” me which I find really helpful.
  • Be able to find out what other’s values are. This means that you can tick theirs in your interactions with them, which makes life so much more interesting and relationships are stronger.
  • Know whether yours are useful for you – sometimes people have values which have “no movement” such as honesty, ethics, creativity and freedom. Lovely and if you think about it, not very useful to push a business or career forward. Maybe having something such as Purpose or Determination may move people more – what do you think? I put determination at the top of mine, which is easy to do with NLP

It’s what we teach people to be able to do in our NLP trainings or on a one to one coaching basis – just contact me on my contact page

Here’s the link for the Values tool – let me know what  your results are.

Have a great week and see you next week

Dr Bridget

Talking within a group can help with isolation problems, says Dr Bridget

ISOLATION is an issue encountered by many people within their personal and business lives. Even within a team, isolation may occur, particularly when managing that team as a leader who is reluctant to open up to people in case it signals a weakness.

But speaking to people is crucial in all walks of life, such as within one of Dr Bridget Kirsop’s Mastermind groups. This can help with resolving isolationist issues.

Isolation

Isolation can hit any business owner or person managing a team

Dr Bridget explained: “People in my Mastermind groups have accountability and they have people who are there for them.

“You cannot talk about your inner doubts to your team so people think it is preferable to find people outside the team you are running to open up to.

“It is almost like people open themselves up (inside a group). They know who they are and what they are about, what makes them tick, what makes them motivated, what makes them take action and just go for it.”

And Dr Bridget explained how a change in the mindset can help alleviate these isolationist problems.

She said: “Because your unconscious mind is the domain for your emotions and also drives your behaviour, it is so important to get the unconscious mind on board and compelling goal-setting makes sure your unconscious mind is fully engaged with where you are going.

“If your unconscious mind knows where you are going, you can backtrack from there and you have almost got an action plan going.”

Dr Bridget can help you discover how your unconscious mind can drive your emotions, values and beliefs in the right direction to make you a better person and have a more positive outlook on the world, in both business and personal ways.

For more information, contact Dr Bridget to book a place on her next Mastermind group.

What makes a great team?

What makes a great team?

Team

Team work

As you go about your life on a day to day basis and you look around, you will realise that you have more than one team around you. These  may be in your business, in your career, in your social life or  your leisure activities. Sometimes these will work well for you and sometimes they won’t. And often, it’s a gut feeling that tells you whether it does or not.

The definition of a team is “at least 2 or more members who get together with a common purpose to reach a goal and solve problems”.

Perhaps ask yourself – how do you know what makes a good team for you?

Sometimes its about having complimentary skills – for instance, I’m not a detail person so I have those to help me, which is helpful. In other instances it’s about making sure that the team feels right for you.

It also links with my ABCD tool which makes sure that you have positive committed support around you.

Watch the video below and have a reflect about whether you need to change your team or celebrate the fact that  you are pulling in the same direction.

Sometimes we have people around us who don’t have that same purpose and just feels wrong. We often ignore our gut instinct and carry on regardless, often with disastrous results. So have a think, watch my ABCD video and either relax because you have the right people, or change the people around you. Remember that you are the sum of the 5 people around you.

If you’d like to talk about your team to someone who is independent and interested in you doing the best you can in your business or life,contact me for a free consultation.

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

How to find out what you struggle with in your business (and some answers)

What do You Struggle With in Your Business?

Lets make 2018 your best year- together!

Hello – It’s often easy to guess at what our potential clients or clients are struggling with and I was no different. I spent a lot of last year finding out what my clients and potential clients struggle with – Meg Ward from Share Your Big Idea was super helpful with the researching of this.  We came up with 5 top things that people struggle with in business from a mindset perspective and when I think about who I work with and who I can see around me that need help, it made a lot of sense. In fact, I was more or less right!

It will be the way that my business will grow to support people in 2018.

The 5 “buckets” that contained most the things that most  people’s struggle with were:

  1. Lack of Focus
  2. Procrastination – lack of action taking and keeping up the momentum
  3. Lack of Support
  4. Lack of Self Belief
  5. Not being aligned with your business

Watch the video below – apologies for the croaking – (I won’t make any more jokes about going viral). If you recognise yourself in one or even 5 of the buckets, get in touch and lets make 2018 your most successful and happy year yet!

I will be developing products and coaching packages that are carefully designed with you in mind and will get you the outcomes that you want for the year . If you’d like to get in touch and be one of the 10 people that I am going to work with individually next year then CLICK HERE 

My  closed FB group called One Step Closer – Business Success is also growing rapidly and I’d love you to join the community to see what changes you can make next year. Other business owners are going through the same struggles as you- just fill in the 3 questions and then come on in and interact with us.

I absolutely want you to be happy, successful and fulfilled next year – it’s what I’m here for and you do only have one life! 

See you next week 

Dr Bridget

 

 

What sort of person are you?

What sort of person are you?

Person

How do you react?

When I was a Medical Director in the Local Health Board, over 10 years ago I remember that I used to get very emotional every time that I went to see my manager. It was embarrassing and they didn’t understand what was going on.  They probably thought “what sort of person is this?”. And since I’ve learned about how people work and their filters which are at a very deep level, I now understand it.

If  you remember, we filter the huge amounts of information that come into our brain with a variety of things. One of those things is meta programmes. There are at least 17 of these and one of them is whether you are a feeling person or a thinking person. Some people react to a situation that is giving them trouble with an emotional response and some people have a rational and thinking response to the issue. And of course, some people are in between and have a choice to do either. These are the people that make good managers because they can deal with a problem with another person from the perspective of that person.

Watch the video below and I’ll go into more detail in it.


So the question to ask is “when I come across trouble in my life, do I respond emotionally or rationally or somewhere in between”

You can ask other people this as well and then notice that everyone will be different. Also the context at the time may mean that you do one thing in one context and the opposite in another. If you are recruiting staff, you might want to ask yourself, what response you might want a person to have in times of trouble.

Let me know if  you have any questions about this and keep an eye out for other videos about meta-programmes. If you’d like to know more about NLP, here’s a link for the course page and one for contacting me.

Till next week, enjoy exploring what sort of person you are.

Dr Bridget

The Importance of Talking about Your Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions – It’s useful to talk about them!

Negative emotionsThis is a really important topic! I was reading an article about  a study with people with phobias recently. The conclusion of the study was that the people who expressed their negative emotions and said what they were scared of  actually were less stressed as a result – I explain more in the video below.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a tendency to keep my emotions locked up. So if I hurt myself, I tend to push people away rather than saying how much it hurts and getting a hug.

I think we often do the same in business as well – if we are frightened about pushing forward, its a lot easier to just do something easy rather than saying “it’s scary” and getting help. Or if we are sad, we often don’t talk about it to other people and sometimes don’t grieve fully.

And the results of locking negative emotions away ( in a cupboard or a box or in the back of your mind) is that they can cause stress and dis-ease. In other words, depression anxiety , illnesses and general  un-wellness – even cancer.

This is because our thoughts and emotions are connected to all of our cells. All of our memories are in all of our cells and the impact of carrying negatives in our system can be huge. Not what we really want is it?

Watch the video and then read more below

The major negative emotions that you can experience are Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt and most other negative emotions are sub sets of these.

So ask yourself whether you are suppressing any of these and just hoping that they stay suppressed? The problem is that you might be successful in that, or  maybe the cupboard door gets left open or the lid comes off the box or the thoughts move to the front of your mind – what do you think?

What can we do about it?

Make a decision to talk about them to a trusted friend or colleague and then see whether that makes the emotions more comfortable. If you have chronic pain, see if that is reduced by talking about the negative emotions.

If they really are very uncomfortable to you, get in touch with me here and I can talk you through how else I can help you to get rid of them. Time Line Therapy is a great tool which gets rid of these emotions in about 3 hours – the reason that I work with people!.

Until next week, Keep on talking about how you feel!

Dr Bridget

What Motivation are You Missing?

What Motivation and Drivers are You Missing?

Motivation

Motivation

We have looked previously at what our unconscious drivers are that either help or hinder us in getting our goals.

Here is the pdf which will help you do that if you haven’t done this before –How to work out your values.

We have drivers for each area of our life and when I worked out my top 4  for my business,they were a bit airy fairy and had no real directional push to them and were: Purpose, Fun, Clarity and Making a difference.

These were fine but in reality weren’t giving me a push or a drive to be successful in the way that I wanted. So I saw my coach and we did some Time Line Therapy which removed any limitations from my unconscious mind and , following that, my values were:

  • Determination
  • Achievement
  • Fun
  • Enjoying every moment

This was fine and felt right but they were quite exhausting and, following a discussion with a colleague, I started to realise that self care was important to me as I was so determined that I was exhausted. Also organisation was coming into my mind a lot as I  looked around and reviewed my surroundings- somewhat messy and disorganised . So I consciously decided to make these values more important and have been on a clean living month and have goal of tidying my desk over the coming week. Have a listen to the video and ask yourself what values are you missing from your top 4?

 

Below is the link to work out your values. This is a chapter in my book “Mindset for Business Success”.

How to work out your values.  Once you have done this, think about what might be missing from your top 4 and then consciously add them to your list of to dos.

So I am now busy tidying and looking after myself as well as being determined and achieving.

Give it a go and let me know what you think

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you prescriptions for success

 

‘TAKE CARE’ AND HELP YOURSELF WITH A BRAIN DUMP

‘TAKE care’ – it is a nice way to say goodbye to somebody when finishing a conversation. But how many people actually take that time to take care of themselves. Try a Brain Dump.

Dr Bridget Kirsop believes a Brain Dump can help clear your mind

Business mindset is about having clear thoughts but many businessmen and women have so many things going on in their mind that they are muddled before they start.

Work is overwhelming, the jobs put off from yesterday are now piling on top of the jobs today, and there are domestic issues at home to cope with. The school run has to be done before you start.

Small wonder why business people become stressed and, when that happens, self care is usually the first thing to go out of the window – and things just get worse.

Dr Bridget Kirsop, one of South Wales’ leading Certified NLP Master Coaches and Trainers, has worked with hundreds of sole traders, partnerships, business directors and company owners to improve their mindset and teach them to cope with the stresses encountered.

And she recommends a tool that a friend of hers, Jo Bendle, who had NLP training with Dr Bridget, recommended.

It is called ‘Brain Dump’ and spending an hour clearing the luggage from the brain once or twice a week works wonders.

Ahead of this week’s National Self Care Week, Dr Bridget said: “What you need to do is get an hour where you have no interruptions. You take a sheet of paper and write down everything in your head and your ‘To Dos’. When I did this, I had three hundred things on my ‘To Do’ list.

“It is remarkable how clearer you become by doing this.”

Self care is a crucial part of life, and Dr Bridget helps business owners, directors, managers and employers to control the negative aspects and become more positive.

She added: “You have so much going on in your head that you get stuck. It is not helpful from a productivity point of view. Whether you are running a business or at home, there is some stuff going around in your head unless you are very organised.”

Dr Bridget is holding new NLP and Mastermind training in 2018 where she will be improving people’s mindset and helping them to grow.

Then, when somebody says ‘take care’, you will be able to reply ‘I am, thanks’.

REDUCING THE STRESS AMONG BUSINESS OWNERS AND DIRECTORS

A GOOD and clear mindset is fundamental in running a business but the publication on Thursday of a

Dr Bridget Kirsop at the Principality Stadium in Cardiff

major document opening the window on mental health in the workplace showed that not everyone in business has this.

The Thriving At Work report says mindset issues are often taboo subjects in the workplace because of employees fears that they will lose their job if they reveal to an employer they have mental health problems.

For small business owners as well, stress-related mental health issues can be the difference between paying the mortgage that month and not.

Indeed, many SME owners and directors think they have to work through the pain to get by. But investing in personal development to cope with stressful situations is the best route to mental wellness.

Dr Bridget Kirsop, one of South Wales’ leading Certified NLP Master Coaches and Trainers, has worked with hundreds of sole traders, partnerships, business directors and company owners to improve their mindset and teach them to cope when any big negative which comes along.

Through her NLP and Mastermind groups, Dr Bridget installs positivity to the individual’s thinking which then transfers to their sub-conscious mindset.

And it is the right time for businessmen and women to take stock of themselves with Christmas approaching and the stressful rush towards reaching targets in the weeks before the festive break.

With National Stress Awareness Day taking place on November 1, Dr Bridget, who is hosting new Mastermind and NLP sessions in January and has a new website packed with information, said: “A stressed mindset completely hinders a business’ development at a fundamental level.

“When you are dealing with complicated issues within a company but have the noise of other problems competing for space within your head, that is not going to help you, the people working with you or your clients.

“Every business has stress at times, but there are NLP techniques to help alleviate these periods and steer you back on the right route.”

So serious has the issue of stress and mental health become that the Thriving At Work report says that a sixth of the UK population in the work ages of 16 to 64 suffer from some kind of mental health issue.

These issues can be anything from slight stress over some workplace situation to depression and, says the report, the problems are on the increase.

Dr Bridget added: “I have worked with a number of business people who have gone through these situations and have helped them to regain their confidence, build their resilience and help them control the fears and anxieties they have experienced.

“When ask a business person how things are going, the general reply is ‘great’ but behind the mask, they may be suffering. I remove the negative and help them to take control of their business and personal lives again.”

For more information about how Dr Bridget Kirsop can help your mental health issues, look in the different sections of this website.