How to Change Your Reality
This subject is totally fascinating, you change your reality by the process of filtering:
- your emotions,
- your experiences
- your memories
- your values and beliefs
- and your language
We also use something called meta programmes in NLP.
By doing this filtering we create a reality and that reality doesn’t always work for us.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you an NLP process that can change your reality from something that is an ‘unwanted reality’ to a ‘wanted reality’. Listen to the video and get in touch if you need some help with this.
I always remember, a few years ago I did this process with someone who hated doing their admin – she was neglecting doing her book keeping, and not following up on leads or organising her client information. Although she was very good at her job she hated doing the admin work.
On the flip side she actually loved dancing so we used this to help her.
Firstly we identify ‘unwanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel. Then, we identify the ‘wanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel. You will find that the components of each are completely different but by using NLP techniques you can change the list. So, you can make the ‘unwanted behaviour’ have the same components as the ‘wanted behaviour’. You can switch the visuals, auditories and the kinesthetics so that the unwanted behaviour looks and feels like the wanted one
After undertaking this process with my client she went home and actually tidied up her home, did all her admin and paid her tax bill within 24 hours and it just felt like dancing.
I’ve also worked with another couple of people recently who were not being who they wanted to be or had been in the past. So together we elicited the ‘unwanted behaviour’ the ‘unwanted personality’ then we elicited what they ‘used to be’ what they ‘wanted to be’ and we just swapped it over so that person just became what they always were in the past. And it was really effective for them.
It’s quite a quick process and takes approximately half an hour. So, if there is something that you want to change that’s fairly simple then get in touch as I do a free half an hour call to start with to see what we need to do then we can actually do that process.
We also cover these processes on our NLP Courses so if you’d like to learn them then click here to find out more.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – being exactly who I want to be.
Crossroads – how do you evaluate them?
As an unsticker, I often get people coming to me and saying that they are at a crossroads and can’t make the decision which way to go. And I’m guessing that many of us have been there over the last few years and have had to change what we do and how we do it.
When you stand at a crossroads, there are 4 directions – Back, sideways x 2, and a forward. Right?
And how do you make the decision which way to go? A lot of people get stuck at this point.
Have a look at the video and then find out more below.
When you have decided what you would like to have as a magic wand outcome for a years time, then turn and check whether there is anything in the past or to the side of the crossroads that you would like to bring with you.
Then check whether the direction that you are facing is more compelling in your mind than the other directions.
Once you are clear on which way you are going, then you can start and there will no longer be a crossroad there.
If you are stuck and really don’t know what to do, then let me know and I can help you to decide and get rid of anything internally that’s stopping you. I can be your unsticker. Click here to find out how.
The reason that people get stuck are:
- Lack of self belief
- Lack of feeling that you are worth doing what you want to do
- Feeling that it’s easier to stay where you are even though that’s uncomfortable
- Lack of support
- Lack of accountability
I’m wondering if you are thinking any of those things? If so, get in touch
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – getting you moving in the direction you want
What triggers are there for unwanted behaviours?
Triggers are what set a sequence of behaviour off and also the sequence of things that happen in your mind at an unconscious level to lead to an outcome.
There are so many unwanted behaviours including procrastination, doubting yourself, withdrawing from people, being irritable and argumentative, drinking alcohol, binge eating, comfort eating the list is endless.
People’s unwanted behaviour will be personal to them. So what is an unwanted behaviour for one person may not be unwanted for another person.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss the triggers for unwanted behaviours and give you some tips from an NLP perspective on how you can change these behaviours.
Every behaviour has what we call a strategy in NLP where there is a trigger. The trigger will be something that you see, something that you hear or something that you say to yourself which will set of a sequences of things in your brain that will lead to a specific behaviour.
I used to have a behaviour where I’d see the clock at 6pm and I’d look at the fridge and say to myself it’s time for a glass of wine and I’d go and have a glass of wine. So, that’s a sequence of events that I used to do.
It is possible to interrupt these sequence of events and get a different sequence of events and hence a different behaviour. If you are interested in learning more about this from a coaching or professional level or would like to know more for yourself then we cover NLP strategies on my NLP courses.
The other thing about unwanted behaviours which is really interesting is that every behaviour has a positive intention and has a purpose. People don’t do behaviours for reason there is always a purpose for them therefore every behaviour has a positive intention for the person who is doing it.
If you think about any triggers for unwanted behaviour that you might have then you’ll start to notice those triggers at a conscious level and you could start to change those.
You could also ask yourself what are you getting out of the behaviour? It might to seem obvious to start with, when I ask people this they can’t often identify the intention of a behaviour but quite often it’s about protection.
If you were to withdraw from a discussion you are probably doing that to protect yourself in some way and this would give you some sort of security and that security might give you happiness and the happiness might give you the ability to live your life to the full.
From a NLP perspective we call this chunking up and by doing this you get to the real positive intention for the behaviour so what you might get out of it then what else you might get out of it. Then you can ask yourself what might you want to do instead?
This is all about awareness raising so once you know the trigger and the purpose for that behaviour and what you’d rather do instead then at a conscious level you actually make some changes.
If you can’t make those changes then just get in touch I do a free half hour where we can explore what is going on and at an unconscious level we can change things really quickly.
Until Next Week
How to Cultivate Vitality
Vitality has been proven to be a great way to get resilience in light of all the stresses and strain we may have on a daily basis.
As an example – Recently I was planning to meet a friend in England and at the same time my mum fell and broke her hip and ended up in hospital and then the dog was sick. Sometimes we get days like this when things happen one after the other. However if you have vitality then you become more resilient. It’s really about the decision to be vital.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about how we can cultivate vitality and become more resilient watch the video and consider what you are cultivating.
In research, people label people as like ‘velcro’ or ‘teflon’ in terms of vitality.
In the ‘velcro’ group people were stuck, they had conflict, they had lost their confidence and had spiralled down into negativity. This resulted in them eating things that they shouldn’t, watching endless television and just doing things that were not helpful to them.
In the ‘teflon’ group people made plans but were flexible with their plans and they also supported others.
The difference between the two – the ‘velcro’ and the ‘teflon’ is really about being proactive. So, if you want to be a ‘teflon’ person them make plans, go out and do things, socialise and get on with life. Otherwise you will tend to be a ‘velcro’ person.
Ask yourself whether you are a ‘velcro’ or ‘teflon’ person? Have you tried these things in order to become more resilient and have vitality?
If you have tried it and it’s not going very well then get in touch because there will be some root causes that make it difficult for you to do the upward spiral rather than the downward spiral and I can help you with this really quickly.
So that’s me – I think I’m pretty ‘teflon’ at the moment and I know what to do to not be ‘velcro’.
See you next week,
Do You Focus on what you CAN change or what you CAN’T change?
I’m interested in what you concentrate or focus on? Often my clients will have noticed that they are concentrating on the things that they can’t change , and often can’t get them out of their head. And as you know, what you focus on is what you get, so I’m all about changing that pattern of thinking. If you’d like to do that as well, watch the video, have a think about whether this applies to someone you know or even yourself and get in touch:
Often this pattern of negative thinking, or concentrating on what you can’t change, will last for days, weeks, months or often years and will eventually start to affect the results in your life and the people around you.
I’m OK with saying that it happens to me sometimes, and to clients that I’ve worked with, but it doesn’t last very long as our unconscious mind kicks in with the positive learnings. I’m generally a positive person who focuses on the future and positives and solutions.
I think this is why NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming- appeals to me.
It helps us to find habitual patterns that don’t serve us and remove them, leaving us free to concentrate on things we CAN change rather than things we can’t. And it’s not about what’s happened- it’s about what patterns need changing, and then changing them really quickly.
The difference between the change that counselling, or other talking therapies, give people and what NLP gives you is simple:
- It’s quick and effective
- You will be working with the part of your mind that is responsible for change – your unconscious mind
- It’s comfortable as it doesn’t focus on the story, just the patterns
Either way, everyone that works with me changes the patterns that are not helping them to get the future they want and deserve.
If you’d like to change the patterns that you are running in your head or your behaviour, then get in touch and let’s start that change process.
See you next week,
Dr Bridget – Focusing on positives.