Are you at a crossroads?

Crossroads

Which way are you going?

Crossroads – how do you evaluate them?

As an unsticker, I often get people coming to me and saying that they are at a crossroads and can’t make the decision which way to go. And I’m guessing that many of us have been there over the last few years and have had to change what we do and how we do it.

When you stand at a crossroads, there are 4 directions – Back, sideways x 2, and a forward. Right?

And how do you  make the decision which way to go? A lot of people get stuck at this point.

Have a look at the video and then find out more below.

When you have decided what you would like to have as a magic wand outcome for a years time, then turn and check whether there is anything in the past or to the side of the crossroads that you would like to bring with you.

Then check whether the direction that you are facing is more compelling in your mind than the other directions.

Once you are clear on which way you are going, then you can start and there will no longer be a crossroad there.

If you are stuck and really don’t know what to do, then let me know and I can help you to decide and get rid of anything internally that’s stopping you. I can be your unsticker. Click here to find out how.

The reason that people get stuck are:

  • Lack of self belief
  • Lack of  feeling that you are worth doing what you want to do
  • Feeling that it’s easier to stay where you are even though that’s uncomfortable
  • Lack of support
  • Lack of accountability

I’m wondering if you are thinking any of those things? If so, get in touch

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – getting you moving in the direction you want

How to deal with indecisiveness

How to deal with indecisiveness in order to be successful

How to deal with Indecisiveness In Order to Be Successful

To be successful in your business, life or relationships it’s really useful to have an element of decisiveness. Sometimes people get caught up in being indecisive and that means they have no clear direction or thought processes.  They have the “Shall I,” Shan’t I,” “Will I,” Won’t I,” conflict that goes on in their heads.

They know that if they want to get rid of anxiety and reach their goals, then they have to be decisive.

With this in mind, in this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to talk a little bit about ‘parts’, which is an NLP term. If you find yourself being indecisive, watch the video and learn about this NLP technique to help.

What are ‘parts’ in NLP?

A ‘part’ refers to  parts of the unconscious mind that cause conflict.  So, sometimes I believe in myself but sometimes I don’t believe in myself, or part of me thinks I’m good enough and part of me thinks I’m not good enough.

The causes of parts in the unconscious mind are significant emotional events. They may be adverse childhood experiences or they may be significant events or traumas from later on in your life.  When these events happen then sometimes it’s just a little wobble or sometimes it can create limiting beliefs or limiting decisions.

If the rate of change of a particular emotional process is quite fast or significant in terms of the actual strength of that emotion then it can cause parts, phobias and sometimes multiple personalities.

A part is in conflict with another part, and the theory behind resolving parts is that they were once whole and can become whole again by reintegrating the parts. Then looking to see what the parts have as a positive intention, realising that both parts have the same highest positive intention and reintegrating them using an NLP technique.

I teach people how to do this on my NLP Courses and I also do a lot of work with people who have conflict and want to have some coaching and/or to do a breakthrough process with me.

If you’ve got conflict and if you are indecisive then there will be a root cause behind that. Get in touch because I do a free half hour call  where we can find out what’s going on and then resolve it. You then won’t have that conflict anymore and you can just get on with your life and feel happy.

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget – being decisive

 

What Affects Your Decision Making?

Decision Making

What Affects Your Decision Making?

It’s really important to be able to decide how you make your decisions, because your decisions affect your behaviour, which gets you your results.

We make decisions at every stage in our lives. We can make split second decisions or we can take time to deliberate over our decisions.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to be looking at what affects our decision making, and reflect upon the influence of our upbringing, our values and our internal makeup on our decision making. Listen to the video and let me know what affects your decision making.

I thought it would be good to consider this particularly as I have had a period of indecision over a couple of years and it was uncomfortable.   I was feeling that part of me wanted to do one thing and part of me wanted to do something else. This resulted in a huge amount of conflict going on in my head which was making me unwell. I was eating more. I wasn’t sleeping so well and wasn’t feeling very good.

I think it’s important to be able to make decisions – but what affects our decision making?

Parental Influence

I think that maybe your decision making has been brought about by your parents, maybe they have made split-second decisions and you are modelling them.  Alternatively you may think, I’m fed up of making decisions that quickly and I’m just going to think longer about it before making my decision.

Your parents and how they made decisions is key to how you make decisions.

Your Values

Your motivators are your values which are going on at an unconscious level.  (Click here to download my values workbook to  help you to work out your values.)   If you know what your motivators are it becomes quite easy to make decisions.

My values for my business are about determination, self-care, having fun and make a difference and if something doesn’t tick any of these values then I’m not going to do it. So, knowing your values makes it easier to make decisions.

Your internal make up

If you are having difficulty making decisions, sometimes it can be part of your internal make up. In NLP we teach meta-programmes. One of the 18 meta-programmes is that “when you come into a situation do you act straight away and then think about it or do you reflect and then make a decision”.

In a recent relationship I had,  the other person was a reflector and I was an action-taker and it was quite difficult because I just wanted to take action and then think about it and they wanted to think about it and then take action.  So it does have an affect

So work out your values for whatever part of your life that you are having difficulty making decisions. Just be aware of your conflicts and what your internal negative chatter is saying to you and also be aware of your beliefs about things and  then either:

  • Take a decision and then think about it whether it works,
  • Or don’t make a decision and think about it and see if that works out.

So as Yoda says – “There is no such thing as try – you either do or you don’t.” So take the do or the don’t decision and then go from there.

If you are having a bit of difficulty, if it’s giving you conflict, if it’s giving you sleepless nights, if you are not sure and you just want a chat to someone then get in touch  as I do a free half hour call.

Let me know if you are having difficulty making decisions and I’m just going to make a decision now to finish this blog as I think I’ve waffled on enough.

Until Next Week

Dr Bridget

 

The Focusing Questions

The focusing questionsThe Focusing Questions!

The secret of getting ahead is to get started!

The secret of getting started is to break the large amount of tasks that you have down into discrete parts.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about two focusing questions that you can ask yourself to enable you to identify what you want and how to get ahead.  Watch the video and ask yourself the questions below.

There are 2 levels of question that you can ask:

Firstly – what is it that you want? What is the one thing that you want – whether that’s happiness, wealth, success – what is it?

Secondly –  what is the one thing that you can do right now that will get you that one thing that you really what you want?

It’s as simple as that. So, scroll around amongst your tasks and think what is the one thing that will really make that difference to get that one thing which is your overall goal?

If you don’t know or you can’t do it then just get in touch  and we can talk that through because I do a free session to help you get started and get ahead.

So to get started, just ask yourself the 2 focusing questions and then you can get ahead

See you next week

Dr Bridget – focused on getting ahead!

 

Do you say to yourself – I’m too busy?

too busy

Do you say to yourself – I’m too busy?

“I’m too busy!” Do you say that to yourself?

How do you manage your time? Are you managing it in line with your purpose?

In this week’s video we consider these questions. Watch the video and think about what beliefs you have about time and whether these beliefs aligned to your purpose.

I was recently in a business meeting and someone was giving a talk on how we manage time, who we are and how that relates to it.

He had had a stroke when he was younger and he remembered lying in his hospital bed looking at a painting of three sheep on top of a mountain.  He thought to himself, “Before I had this stroke I would have said I’ve got no time to paint that picture but now I’ve had the stroke I’ve plenty for time and yet I can’t do it.”

He is fully recovered now, but he was saying that time and life are a little like art. Sometimes your perceptions about time are hardwired into your thoughts. For example, when we were young, how did our parents and teachers manage time?  These perceptions are hardwired into our thoughts and we have these beliefs such as “I’m too busy,” or maybe “I’ve got to use my time effectively,”

I’ve done lots of things in the last 48 hours.  I’ve finished a Master Practitioner Course, I’ve written five blogs, I’ve had several meetings. I could probably say “I’m too busy.” or someone may say it to me. However I think I’m managing my time according to my purpose.  If you are managing your time according to your purpose and you are enjoying what you do then you can feel quite time rich and that you have lots of time.

It’s just a little prescription for you to think about how you manage time and whether you managing it in line with your purpose or not.

If you think you’ve got some issues with time and need some help to go forward and be the person you want to be then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access a free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – helping you realise that time is simply your perception

 

Is your gut feeling useful or not?

Gut Feeling

Is your gut feeling useful or not?

A lot of people talk about their gut feeling and how useful it is. We’ve all had experiences where we feel, “Yes, I’m going to that,” or “No, I’m not going to do that,” and it’s turned out to be right.

My perspective on this is that it’s not always aright.

Your gut feeling is about what lies outside your conscious awareness. Your brain is constantly sensing, hearing, observing along with running your body, storing your memories etc. It is constantly taking things in, at any given moment.

In this week’s video I discuss how you get that gut feeling, what influences it and whether it’s likely to be accurate or not.  Watch the video and think about what influences your gut feeling and whether it’s useful or not.

There are some key influences on our “gut feeling.”

  1. Firstly, our neurons that are involved with taking action light up whether you are taking the action or someone else. It’s called a mirror system and that forms part of the intuition. So if someone does something it’s almost like we are doing it and that helps with that gut feeling.
  2. Another influence is our past experience.  If you have relevant experience and you get that gut feeling and you make that decision quickly, in the spur of the moment, then that is likely to be quite accurate. However, if you haven’t got relevant experience, you’ll take longer to think about something and work out what you feel about it  and that’s less likely to be accurate.
  3. Thirdly, if you’ve had past experiences that haven’t been particularly pleasant and you are getting dragged back to those experiences regularly then when you come to make a quick decision you might rely on that past experience and that may not be helpful.

Have a little think about when you use your  feeling and work out what influences it and whether it’s useful or not to you in a particular situation.

If you’d like to find out a little more about how your unconscious mind influences you, and use it to go forward and be the person you want to be then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access a free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to refine your gut instinct

 

A strategy to Tackle Any Problem

strategy

Would you be interested in a strategy to tackle any problem?

Sometimes when we have a problem to solve, we succumb to fear, we start second guessing ourselves, we procrastinate and spend a lot of time really struggling and not knowing what to do to solve the problem .

I was in a recent networking/business  growth event and we were working together to tackle each others problems. I highly recommend Zokit – the business  growth organisation. One person in my group was really busy and we suggested that he made himself  less busy by delegating and getting people on board, however what he was really struggling with was being decisive about the more detailed areas of his business.

It reminded me of an article I’d recently read called “Strategy to tackle any problem.”

It’s quite simple to use, watch the video and try out the steps below to tackle any problem.

A strategy to tackle any problem!

  1. The first step is to take some decisive action. Once you’ve taken this action-it doesn’t matter what the action is, the universe conspires to help you to get it.
  2. Now, flood yourself with certainty-  know that you’ve made the right decision. Remove all doubt. You are going to carry out the tasks related to that decisive action.
  3. Thirdly, take some massive action. When you take this action you will know whether it is right or not and you can adjust it if required. Moreover if you are not heading towards your goals with that decisive action then you can stop and take another decisive action.

This can apply to all areas of our lives. We often spend a lot of time being indecisive where:

  • Part of us wants to do one thing and part wants to do another.
  • We question – Shall I do this? or Shall I do that?
  • We think – I can’t do this, or I should/must do that

All this goes around in our head and it takes us away from really concentrating on what is important for our business, our life, our relationships or even our career.

So this week, follow the 3 steps above and take some decisive action.

If you are struggling to take some action and would like some help with this then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy seeing how you can empty any negative thoughts and emotions with this simple and decisive  three step strategy and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – let’s step it up together.

If you’d like to learn more techniques to get rid of limiting decisions and  and negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

Also, the person who was helped with  this decision owns this company that I would highly recommend for printe management – I wish I’d met him earlier.

Are Judgements Useful?

Judgements

Are judgements useful?

Does making judgements help us?

This blog came about because I noticed that I was surrounded by people, whether on Social Media or in everyday life, who were judging other people. Now I’m asking myself as well, am I judging those who are judging others. So I have considered that as well, as I recognise that what we perceive as coming back to us is actually what we are putting out.

I recently noticed that lots of people were actually using their energy in a negative way to judge others when they could have been using their energy more positively. So, are you using your energy to judge others or are you simply interested in people and enjoying seeing how everyone is different? Indeed, the latter position is the stance I prefer to take.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about your stance on this.

Now, in terms of the Neuro Linguistic Programming’s Communication Model, to be able to use the amazing amount of information surrounding us, we need to generalise and label things and that can turn into judgements.

Moreover, the presuppositions of NLP, which are the assumptions that we use in everyday life, which apply to this scenario are:

  • People aren’t their behaviour so the identity of a person is not what they are doing as a behaviour.
  • People are doing the best they can with all their available resources
  • Everyone has a different model of the world

We can adopt these presuppositions and get really interested in people and also get rid of any negative anchors we have from the past. Those anchors may have been  triggers for us to get emotionally involved and make judgements and if we get rid of them, we can then use our energy in a more positive way.

So if you find yourself doing a lot of judgement then get in touch. We can use a tool called Time Line Therapy  which gets rid of all the negative emotions which are anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt and any limiting decisions that you have about yourself or other people. Then life gets really interesting. You can have your own opinions and beliefs and just get on with your life to  get your goals instead of worrying about about other people are doing.

So are judgements useful?  We need some but what do you think?

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a peaceful life.

How Clutter Affects Our Mindset

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect people’s mindset?

Last week we were talking about loops and I said that I was an ideas person, which means I have a lot of open loops with ongoing projects that I’ve started but never got around to finishing. This often resulted in lots of clutter as there is so much going on an any one time.

I’ve noticed when I’ve seen people on zoom that I’m not the only one with lots of clutter around me. But I’m just wondering how does this affect people’s mindset?

If there is too much to process visually in our environment then maybe that decreases our motivation because we don’t know where to look for things. Alternatively maybe it increases your motivation because you then need a plan to sort it out and start again. Or, maybe you are ok with clutter.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about how clutter affects you.

I thought about this in terms of the neurological levels of change. This is an NLP Model that has come from Gregory Bates and been adapted by Robert Dilts. It states that we can experience change at a variety of levels and that changing at a higher level within the hierarchy can create a more meaningful change. The levels each have an effect on the others and are:

PURPOSE

IDENTITY

VALUES AND BELIEFS

CAPABILITY AND SKILLS

BEHAVIOUR

ENVIRONMENT

  • When it comes to our environment if we have a lot of clutter around then does that affect our behaviour?
  • Does it affect out ability to use our skills in our business?
  • Is it associated with negative beliefs?
    • Have I labelled myself as someone who is just generally untidy?
    • Do I have negative beliefs that I’ll never get sorted?
  • Is it interfering with my values? – For example, if someone has a value of freedom and they are constantly surrounded by clutter does that affect their ability to tick their values?
  • In terms of our identity we may then just think that it’s just the way we are which is not useful and maybe it stops us reaching our purpose as well

Doing this blog has definitely caused me to give myself a good talking to,  to get rid of the clutter.  Often, this just means moving the clutter to an alternative space so that I can start again with a new plan and a new loop of being perfectly organised. And that will allow me to live my purpose of enjoying every minute of every day.

So have a think – does clutter exist in your life and what affect does it have on your mindset, behaviour, values, beliefs, identity or your purpose?

If it’s your mindset that is getting in the way and stopping you get organised, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be and do what you want to do to stay in line with your purpose.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- sweating the small stuff to enjoy every moment.

Using Loops – Good or Bad?

Using Loops

Do you use loops?

Do you use loops? – Is it good or bad for us?

I got out of bed this morning and went across the corridor to my office, walked through the door and looked around and thought, “Oh my God.”

So what is a loop?  In any sort of training we use what we call loops it’s when you open something. It could be the opening of a sentence, a bit of story like I’ve just done or even a project, then at some other time we close them.

The reason this works well in any sort of training is that the unconscious mind is really focused on the incomplete sentence, story or project and recognises that it needs finishing. It’s called the Zeigarnik effect where we start something and plan to finish it a bit later.

So are loops good or bad?

The brain likes an open loop because it’s looking for closure – there is always more. However, if we close a loop we then lose that motivation because there is nothing for our mind to focus on. Alternatively, if we don’t close the loops then there is no space to open new ones and that affects our motivation because we have lots of clutter in our thinking.

Watch the video and then have a think about the activity below:

Try this out, you’ll be surprised what you’ll find.

  1. Make a list of your open loops.
  2. Make a list of your open loops that need closing.
  3. Make a list of your closed loops that need opening.
  4. Make of  list of any new loops that you want to open.

Have a think about your loops and how you are using them and what you need to do about them.

I realised whilst doing this blog that  I am an opener of loops rather than a closer. I have lots of loops open, lots of projects and some of them are appropriate and some are not. I’m an ideas person so there are lots of open loops and nothing is closed which leads to clutter both physically and in my head which isn’t always very good for organisation or motivation – we’ll discuss this next week.

“Oh my God,” I thought, I really don’t know what’s where, some things are organised and some are not, there are lots of things I need to do, lots of things to sort out. In the end I just picked everything up and put it in the spare room and started again. I closed the loop so I could have space to open another or work on a loop already open.  I know there will come a time when I’ll need to reopen that loop again but that’s for another day!

If you have an loops that you are having difficulty with whether it’s closing, opening or even reopening them, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- looping the loop.

How Do you Know Your Identity?

Know your identity

Who are you?

Know your Identity and who you really are

Knowing who we are, our identity, personality and our values is a great motivator for us.

It enables us to reflect on when we are being ourselves or not being ourselves and this in turn helps us to make decisions.

Our identity comes from

  • Our purpose – why are we here on the planet
  • Our values, beliefs and qualities – what’s important to us
  • Our environment – what’s going on around us and what are we doing

From this we come up with a thought – this is who I am.

Often in times of stress we can lose sight of who we are or maybe we even don’t know we are anyway.  But it’s important in your life, in your business or career to know who you really are.

Watch the video and then have a think about the questions below:

Here is a little activity for you:

Take a piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you?
  • Who were you when you were a child?
  • Who were you when you were a teenage?
  • Who were you in your 20s, 30s 40s… and so on?

I recently did this activity with a client who acknowledged that in each answer she was always looking out for others, always taking care of others and making sure they were happy. This ran through her life and before doing this she had not realised it. Making a difference for people is part of her personality. This was good to know as she then realised that she wasn’t living her personality in her home or work life and this enabled her to make some decisions and take action.

When you’ve completed the activity, think of a symbol for who you are.  I think of a jigsaw puzzle piece as I like to help people put things together.

Some might think of a shining light

Whatever your symbol – live with that and make decisions by that.

If there are parts of your personality that you don’t particularly like, for example, a behaviour that you are doing, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.

When is the Best Time to Work Effectively?

When is the Best Time to Work

Work Efficiently

Work Effectively

You know how it feels, when you don’t have the energy to do the work you really need to do, and think – I wish I’d done that this morning. When you are trying to keep your eyes open in the middle of the afternoon?

Daniel Pink- the American Author and speech writer  for Al Gore, tells us that our brains are fairly hard wired for when we have the energy to do focused work and when it is time to do creative work. Also that, if we understand that, our productivity doubles. Eighty percent of us are larks and work efficiently in the morning, he says – here is the article.

Watch the video and then have a think about how you use your time to do which sort of work:

When do you feel most energised?

My focus and productivity is best in the morning

It’s worse in the evening – get me to six o’clock and I’m nearly asleep.

Daniel Pink says if you you want to do things where its important not to be distracted, do it in the morning – examples are in the video and  include surgical operations.

 To work effectively, easy and creative tasks are best done in the early afternoon. Your brain will fill in the gaps apparently when  you sit there and reflect and become creative.

If you have to focus and take action at a time when you are less focused, stand up and change your physiology – if you remember, changing our physiology changes our emotional state which changes our reality.

Get your peak state at the end of the day – your brain will make sure that you will have a good day the next day.

Have a think and fill  your calendar with things that are  most appropriate for the time of day and try not to do surgical operations  in the early afternoon.

Let me know how your ability to work effectively changes as you fit your diary to the work that you need to do.

Also, if you are struggling with energy and motivation , get in touch. There may be reasons that are causing this , that are not to do with the time of day.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.