How to Make your Unconscious Behaviours Conscious

Unconscious behaviours

Unconscious behaviours

Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.

Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously

Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:

 Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:

  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Doubt
  • Hiding
  • Distracting

And many more

In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.

  • List everything  (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
  • Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
  • Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
  • Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
  • Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening

If you have anything going on in  your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

New year New Questions

Questions

Questions

As a coach, I feel it’s “my job” to ask a question that really makes a huge difference to someones life – to their perspective, to their understanding of themselves and something that they haven’t asked themselves before. So I thought I’d share some questions with you that you won’t have asked yourself before.

As we move into the New Year, here are the questions to get you really thinking.

  1. What are you best at? Starting things, changing things or stopping things (not finishing but ending when appropriate)? And then-
  2. What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?

So take the answer to the worst at question and write it down. Now watch the video and answer the questions below.

 

Research has shown that:

People who are worst at starting things have trouble being who they want to be.

People who are worst at changing things have trouble doing what they want to do

People who are worst at stopping things have trouble having what they want to have

So look at what you are worst at and ask the appropriate question:-

Starting things: “Who is it that you are not being that you want to be?”

Changing things “What is that you are not doing that you want to do?”

Stopping things “What is it that you don’t have that you want to have?”

From my perspective. I’m worst at stopping things and when I ask myself “What is it that I don’t have that I want to have?” I come up with things like Excitement and Purpose (must work on those things then)

What have you come up with when you ask yourself the relevant question? Once you know, then ask yourself the reason for that. Let me know if you have any questions and if you’d like to know more about my training courses or personal breakthrough coaching, get in touch here

See you next week

Dr Bridget – always on your side!

How to Deal with Overwhelm

How to deal with overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm is defined as “a very large thing that  happens to you” – either positive or negative. Mainly I see a lot of people in business,including myself, who feel as though they are struggling to do everything and therefore get stuck – often physically.

One of my clients saw me the other day – she was looking wobbly! She had done really well and then things started to happen around her that had caused the wobble.

  • Relationships had become “tricky”
  • Paper work has started to build up
  • Work had changed and got more busy and she was having to do more, and was unhappy with this and unable to resolve it.

It really came down to “Not being in control”.

She hadn’t talked to people that she needed to, hadn’t been firm with work and had just got stuck which meant that the paper work had started to build up and was overflowing all around the house.

Watch the video below and then have a think about whether you are in control and whether this leads to overwhelm for you.

When we talked through what she need to do to regain control and stop feeling the way that she did, her father popped into her mind. He had always been controlled by her mother and hadn’t really done what he wanted to do and she felt as though she was doing much the same and had lost control. Sometimes, you get so overwhelmed, it is difficult to see where the solution lies.

When you are overwhelmed , it often appears that you have far too much to do, but when you start to break it down, this is often not the case.

It’s about taking a step back and writing down the things that you need to be done, and then putting them in order of priority and making a list. And then just starting. The list, then, is the way that you can control your life and stop the overwhelm.

So my client decided to talk to the people who she felt were controlling her and also to spend 1/2 hour a day getting rid of the paper work and putting systems in place so that she didnt’ get overwhelmed again. A list emerged! It fel as though a weight had been lifted and she bounced out of my office and started to make some calls on the way home.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, decide how to take control back and make a list. And, if you are still feeling as though  you can’t take control for any reason, get in touch and book a free session with me to explore the reasons.

Life is too short to get “stressed”

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to live your life the way that you want to.

Where are you in the Molehill System?

Have I lost the plot? Mole hills?

Sysytem

Mole hill

OK- so I’m known for being a bit different and even odd (nicely odd) at times! I was filming some prescriptions for success in my garden recently and noticed there were lots of mole hills – which is slightly frustrating as I thought they had moved over to the park on the other side of the river. Anyway, I like to take opportunities to film something a bit different and it got me thinking – “What is the purpose of a mole hill?” So I looked it up and apparently, moles have a system of tunnels, which I guess I already knew, and  the reason for making a  mole hill is that when it rains, all of the moles’ food (worms and such like) goes to the surface and they end up having to also come to the surface in order to survive. Thats really interesting and has made me more tolerant of the mole hills. And I thought – maybe this could be looked at as a metaphor for ourselves.

Maybe, we can bury ourselves underground and feel safe and secure but sometimes we need to poke our head up above  our comfort system in order to survive and thrive. I wonder if moles feel uncomfortable doing this? I have a cat who has bought moles into the house and can be seen sitting by a mole hill listening intently for any movement.

Have a watch of my video below and ask yourself the questions underneath.

Ok – so not my best video but it does raise some questions:

  • Should I stay subscribed to this web site? Thats not a serious question by the way- of course you will – lots of new things coming soon!
  • Where are you at your most comfortable – in your tunnel system or poking your head out of your comfortable place in order to survive?
  • Do you have a system that you function best in or do you need to find one where you can stay comfortable and survive and thrive?

If you would like a chat to me, either to tell me that was a bit weird or to get some help in surviving and thriving, click here

I also have 2 places left on my NLP Practitioner Course in January – find out more here – it gives you a system to grow and become totally excellent rather than getting stuck in tunnels

Until next week, happy digging

Dr Bridget

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget