How Clutter Affects Our Mindset

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect people’s mindset?

Last week we were talking about loops and I said that I was an ideas person, which means I have a lot of open loops with ongoing projects that I’ve started but never got around to finishing. This often resulted in lots of clutter as there is so much going on an any one time.

I’ve noticed when I’ve seen people on zoom that I’m not the only one with lots of clutter around me. But I’m just wondering how does this affect people’s mindset?

If there is too much to process visually in our environment then maybe that decreases our motivation because we don’t know where to look for things. Alternatively maybe it increases your motivation because you then need a plan to sort it out and start again. Or, maybe you are ok with clutter.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about how clutter affects you.

I thought about this in terms of the neurological levels of change. This is an NLP Model that has come from Gregory Bates and been adapted by Robert Dilts. It states that we can experience change at a variety of levels and that changing at a higher level within the hierarchy can create a more meaningful change. The levels each have an effect on the others and are:

PURPOSE

IDENTITY

VALUES AND BELIEFS

CAPABILITY AND SKILLS

BEHAVIOUR

ENVIRONMENT

  • When it comes to our environment if we have a lot of clutter around then does that affect our behaviour?
  • Does it affect out ability to use our skills in our business?
  • Is it associated with negative beliefs?
    • Have I labelled myself as someone who is just generally untidy?
    • Do I have negative beliefs that I’ll never get sorted?
  • Is it interfering with my values? – For example, if someone has a value of freedom and they are constantly surrounded by clutter does that affect their ability to tick their values?
  • In terms of our identity we may then just think that it’s just the way we are which is not useful and maybe it stops us reaching our purpose as well

Doing this blog has definitely caused me to give myself a good talking to,  to get rid of the clutter.  Often, this just means moving the clutter to an alternative space so that I can start again with a new plan and a new loop of being perfectly organised. And that will allow me to live my purpose of enjoying every minute of every day.

So have a think – does clutter exist in your life and what affect does it have on your mindset, behaviour, values, beliefs, identity or your purpose?

If it’s your mindset that is getting in the way and stopping you get organised, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be and do what you want to do to stay in line with your purpose.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- sweating the small stuff to enjoy every moment.

Using Loops – Good or Bad?

Using Loops

Do you use loops?

Do you use loops? – Is it good or bad for us?

I got out of bed this morning and went across the corridor to my office, walked through the door and looked around and thought, “Oh my God.”

So what is a loop?  In any sort of training we use what we call loops it’s when you open something. It could be the opening of a sentence, a bit of story like I’ve just done or even a project, then at some other time we close them.

The reason this works well in any sort of training is that the unconscious mind is really focused on the incomplete sentence, story or project and recognises that it needs finishing. It’s called the Zeigarnik effect where we start something and plan to finish it a bit later.

So are loops good or bad?

The brain likes an open loop because it’s looking for closure – there is always more. However, if we close a loop we then lose that motivation because there is nothing for our mind to focus on. Alternatively, if we don’t close the loops then there is no space to open new ones and that affects our motivation because we have lots of clutter in our thinking.

Watch the video and then have a think about the activity below:

Try this out, you’ll be surprised what you’ll find.

  1. Make a list of your open loops.
  2. Make a list of your open loops that need closing.
  3. Make a list of your closed loops that need opening.
  4. Make of  list of any new loops that you want to open.

Have a think about your loops and how you are using them and what you need to do about them.

I realised whilst doing this blog that  I am an opener of loops rather than a closer. I have lots of loops open, lots of projects and some of them are appropriate and some are not. I’m an ideas person so there are lots of open loops and nothing is closed which leads to clutter both physically and in my head which isn’t always very good for organisation or motivation – we’ll discuss this next week.

“Oh my God,” I thought, I really don’t know what’s where, some things are organised and some are not, there are lots of things I need to do, lots of things to sort out. In the end I just picked everything up and put it in the spare room and started again. I closed the loop so I could have space to open another or work on a loop already open.  I know there will come a time when I’ll need to reopen that loop again but that’s for another day!

If you have an loops that you are having difficulty with whether it’s closing, opening or even reopening them, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- looping the loop.

How Do you Know Your Identity?

Know your identity

Who are you?

Know your Identity and who you really are

Knowing who we are, our identity, personality and our values is a great motivator for us.

It enables us to reflect on when we are being ourselves or not being ourselves and this in turn helps us to make decisions.

Our identity comes from

  • Our purpose – why are we here on the planet
  • Our values, beliefs and qualities – what’s important to us
  • Our environment – what’s going on around us and what are we doing

From this we come up with a thought – this is who I am.

Often in times of stress we can lose sight of who we are or maybe we even don’t know we are anyway.  But it’s important in your life, in your business or career to know who you really are.

Watch the video and then have a think about the questions below:

Here is a little activity for you:

Take a piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you?
  • Who were you when you were a child?
  • Who were you when you were a teenage?
  • Who were you in your 20s, 30s 40s… and so on?

I recently did this activity with a client who acknowledged that in each answer she was always looking out for others, always taking care of others and making sure they were happy. This ran through her life and before doing this she had not realised it. Making a difference for people is part of her personality. This was good to know as she then realised that she wasn’t living her personality in her home or work life and this enabled her to make some decisions and take action.

When you’ve completed the activity, think of a symbol for who you are.  I think of a jigsaw puzzle piece as I like to help people put things together.

Some might think of a shining light

Whatever your symbol – live with that and make decisions by that.

If there are parts of your personality that you don’t particularly like, for example, a behaviour that you are doing, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.

When is the Best Time to Work Effectively?

When is the Best Time to Work

Work Efficiently

Work Effectively

You know how it feels, when you don’t have the energy to do the work you really need to do, and think – I wish I’d done that this morning. When you are trying to keep your eyes open in the middle of the afternoon?

Daniel Pink- the American Author and speech writer  for Al Gore, tells us that our brains are fairly hard wired for when we have the energy to do focused work and when it is time to do creative work. Also that, if we understand that, our productivity doubles. Eighty percent of us are larks and work efficiently in the morning, he says – here is the article.

Watch the video and then have a think about how you use your time to do which sort of work:

When do you feel most energised?

My focus and productivity is best in the morning

It’s worse in the evening – get me to six o’clock and I’m nearly asleep.

Daniel Pink says if you you want to do things where its important not to be distracted, do it in the morning – examples are in the video and  include surgical operations.

 To work effectively, easy and creative tasks are best done in the early afternoon. Your brain will fill in the gaps apparently when  you sit there and reflect and become creative.

If you have to focus and take action at a time when you are less focused, stand up and change your physiology – if you remember, changing our physiology changes our emotional state which changes our reality.

Get your peak state at the end of the day – your brain will make sure that you will have a good day the next day.

Have a think and fill  your calendar with things that are  most appropriate for the time of day and try not to do surgical operations  in the early afternoon.

Let me know how your ability to work effectively changes as you fit your diary to the work that you need to do.

Also, if you are struggling with energy and motivation , get in touch. There may be reasons that are causing this , that are not to do with the time of day.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.

Recognising the Causes of Conflict

What Causes Conflict?

conflict

Get Rid of Conflict

Hello – Are you experiencing any conflicts in your thinking, where you find it difficult to make decisions, affecting your emotional state and leading to behaviour that’s not you?

Or maybe you have colleagues and friends who have been wondering why they are feeling confused and can’t do what they want to do.

Covid and many other traumatic events have led to trauma, loneliness, isolation and these things can create conflict in our thinking – in our neurology.

Watch the video to find out the causes and get in touch if you are experiencing conflict as it is easy to help you re program your thinking  to resolve this. NLP is a content free way of resolving patterns of thinking  so that you can feel completely clear about your life.

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Here’s a summary:

Whether due to Covid  or other events in your life, significant emotional events lead to conflict which has the ability to create changes in our neurology and programming.

  • Parts – where part of us believes one thing and part of us believes another. Or sometimes we believe one thing and sometimes we believe another. Its exhausting and affects our ability to make decisions.
  • Values changes – maybe things such as security and health have become more important and these conflict with values that you used to have
  • Beliefs – maybe we have adopted beliefs that limit us or maybe empower us? How resilient are you?

The techniques in NLP can remove conflict really easily, realigning your memories, values and beliefs with your goals so there is NO CONFLICT. And in a very comfortable way.

The ways that I help people to resolve these challenges are by 1:1 coaching, Breakthrough Coaching and NLP Training, where you also learn how to use these skills yourself.

Get in touch to find out how you can resolve conflict right now.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

How to Make your Unconscious Behaviours Conscious

Unconscious behaviours

Unconscious behaviours

Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.

Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously

Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:

 Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:

  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Doubt
  • Hiding
  • Distracting

And many more

In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.

  • List everything  (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
  • Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
  • Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
  • Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
  • Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening

If you have anything going on in  your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

New year New Questions

Questions

Questions

As a coach, I feel it’s “my job” to ask a question that really makes a huge difference to someones life – to their perspective, to their understanding of themselves and something that they haven’t asked themselves before. So I thought I’d share some questions with you that you won’t have asked yourself before.

As we move into the New Year, here are the questions to get you really thinking.

  1. What are you best at? Starting things, changing things or stopping things (not finishing but ending when appropriate)? And then-
  2. What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?

So take the answer to the worst at question and write it down. Now watch the video and answer the questions below.

 

Research has shown that:

People who are worst at starting things have trouble being who they want to be.

People who are worst at changing things have trouble doing what they want to do

People who are worst at stopping things have trouble having what they want to have

So look at what you are worst at and ask the appropriate question:-

Starting things: “Who is it that you are not being that you want to be?”

Changing things “What is that you are not doing that you want to do?”

Stopping things “What is it that you don’t have that you want to have?”

From my perspective. I’m worst at stopping things and when I ask myself “What is it that I don’t have that I want to have?” I come up with things like Excitement and Purpose (must work on those things then)

What have you come up with when you ask yourself the relevant question? Once you know, then ask yourself the reason for that. Let me know if you have any questions and if you’d like to know more about my training courses or personal breakthrough coaching, get in touch here

See you next week

Dr Bridget – always on your side!