Why should we set goals?
One of the things I do early on in my NLP Certified Practitioner training is to have everyone set their goal and understand some of the things that are essential for creating a compelling goal. People who have completed the course often feedback that setting their goal is one of their favourite parts of the early training as it really gives them a sense of where they are going.
It’s about making sure that you have all your brain focused on the positives that you really want, this is much more effective than simply setting the old fashioned SMART goals. And the truth is, you can use these things and set goals every month, every week and every day and hour if you want to.
Watch the video below and start to set goals using the three things I discuss – I’ve also attached a pdf below the video which you can use to set your goals.
Here are the top 3 tips with a bit more of an explanation and the pdf with examples and space to write your own.
FREE PDF: 3 Must Do’s for Compelling goal setting
1. Make sure that you write down what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Remember that what you focus on is what you get, so if you focus on what you don’t want, that’s what you will get. Also, make it about your whole life and make sure that you can act as if you already have it. If you can’t do this, then go back over your goals and ask yourself why not. Maybe you have some doubts?
2. Write down your sensory evidence for getting the goal. What will you see around you, hear and feel when you have this outcome
3. Write down when you want it, where you want it, how you are going to get it and who you want it with. Remember that all goals that are for you need to be under your control and you can get them without relying on someone else.
If you have any doubts or have set goals and never achieved them, give me a call apply for a free consultation and get some pointers. You can also fill in a form here and I will get in touch as soon as I can.
Remember, if you set compelling goals, you are likely to achieve them and if you don’t you probably won’t. If you’d like to learn more about setting goals and want to develop yourself personally and get great skills to use with teams, clients (and family) then you can become an NLP Practitioner.
If you want more help with your goals please check out How to make sure you get your goals – Part 1 to get started.
Till next time, happy goal setting
Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.
Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously
Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:
Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:
And many more
In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.
- List everything (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
- Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
- Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
- Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
- Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening
If you have anything going on in your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.
Until next week
Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind
5 NLP Principles for Success
Many people have read articles about principles for success and take actions as a result. These are somewhat different and are NLP Principles for Success. They are taught on the NLP Practitioner courses that I run and are key to becoming succesful – whatever that means for you. There are 5 principles.
Watch the video and then read about them below
Here are the 5 principles:
- Knowing your outcome. If you don’t have this knowledge of what you want- your goals- you won’t know where you are heading, what you will see, hear and feel when you get there and what evidence you will need to know that you’ve arrived.
- Taking Action. Even if you have a clear goal, sometimes it will be difficult to take the action and you may start procrastinating. This is usually because of Negative Beliefs that have come from Decisions that you have made in the past and also maybe some negative emotions. Often people get really anxious and simply taking action stops the anxiety.
- Sensory Acuity. This is about noticing microchanges in yourself and other people. Perhaps you notice yourself getting hot or cold? Or that your stature changes – becoming more upright or otherwise. Maybe you notice a feeling in your stomach of tension or notice that your breathing has changed in some way. Becoming aware of this can give you a lot of information about your bodies reaction to what you are thinking or feeling. It is often part of what we call your gut reaction or your intuition.
- Behavioural flexibility. Notice your behaviour and the results that it gets you. NLP gives you many different tools to change habitual behaviour and to change what is not working for you. After all, the meaning of your behaviour behaviour is the results that you get rather than what you thought you would get. Also the meaning of your communication is the result that you get and therefore you need to be fleible with both to get what you want.
- Operate from a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. A psychology of excellence means that you are fully aligned with your outcomes and with your values and beliefs. You will have no internal negative chatter and will be heading towards where you want to go. A physiology of excellence is equally important. Whatever you do with your body affects your moods and vice versa. Take care of yourself. Anything you do that affects your physiology needs to be empowering. Eat well, move well and notice when anything needs attention.
If you are doing all those things you will get your goals and be empowered and be happy and fulfilled.
If you aren’t doing these things and have tried and not managed to, book an appointment with me. I do a free 1/2 hour session to enable you to put these 5 principles into action
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – giving you a high five!
Other People’s Stuff
I was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.
This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:
People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.
Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens – and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.
REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!
If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know. Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own – I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.
Book an appointment with me for a free chat or fill in the form on my web site and lets have a chat about it – I probably have the answer for you.
People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:
- Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
- NLP training courses
- My Mastermind group called STRETCH
- My One Step Closer face Book Group
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life
Really Understanding Goal Setting
We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.
The important things to consider as you write your goal are:
- Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the 1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
- Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
- Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
- Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
- Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
- Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
- Make sure that it increases choice for you
- Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.
And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?
I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal
So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.
If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.
Until next week- Make this your best year yet!
Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease
What is your “Story”
We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.
As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.
So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?
Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?
Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t. Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.
How to change your story
- Read the e-book
- Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
- Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
- If you can’t find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.
Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!
Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story
Make the Difference!
I remember sitting in my cabin, wondering how I was going to make it there – but then I didn’t really know where THERE was or what IT was! I thought that I might have to give up my relationships, my leisure time and my happiness and I had this constant battle going on in my head about whether it was worth it or not. But if you learn how to make the difference, it really helps you to define what you want
And then I remembered that I had all the skills that I needed to know Where I was going and what IT was I was aiming for that would really make the difference. – I had seen so many people who had engaged all of their brain in setting their goals and therefore completely knew they were going to get the goals. All they needed to do was follow the process, engage their brain by following the steps and then they would arrive.
And that is what I did and what you can do as well. In order to start and become great at setting goals, all you need to do is to come on my webinar (or if you’ve missed it , have a conversation with me) and then GO FOR IT!
Watch the video below where I talk about having support to get going, to find out HOW to set the goals using the whole of your brain, and to get really confident about using the process.
Imagine what your whole life would be like if you use your whole brain to set goals and therefore get them- Come and join me on my webinar and find out how to do it or get in touch with me and lets start the journey!
Until next week
Happy Goal Setting!