How do I allow myself to be happy?

be happy

How do I allow myself to be happy?

It’s a question a lot of people often ask themselves. It sort of implies that they not allowing themselves to be happy.  It’s a really interesting question as it’s almost like there is a decision that they’ve made, or other people have made that they can’t allow themselves to be happy.

In this week’s video I share with you the story of a client whose main problem was that they couldn’t allow themselves to be happy, be spontaneous and have fun.   Listen to the video about their story and how we worked together to help them overcome this problem.

“How can I allow myself to be happy, spontaneous and have fun? “

This was the question my client asked.

There was something stopping them all the time and when we went back to the root cause, it was from their unconscious mind. When they were a teenager they were surrounded by people who didn’t listen to them and, as a direct result, they didn’t say what they thought, in order not to upset people. It was an impossibility for them to tell people how hurt they felt about what was going on and they said they  bottled up their feelings.

When I asked my client – what does that mean? What sort of bottle is that and where is it?  They said it was a sort of grey bottle in their chest which was full of hurt, confusion and sadness.  Of course,  that has a consequence for yourself, your physiology, for your future and just being happy and was a problem that needed to be dealt with.

We did some Time Line Therapy which get’s rid of limiting decisions like

  • ‘It’s not ok for me to be myself’,’
  • ‘It’s not ok for me to say how feel,’ or
  • ‘I’ve got to keep the peace.’

It also helps get rid of negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt.   All this was going on in their unconscious mind and, following Time Line Therapy, all this was gone. The bottle had gone and they couldn’t find the feelings anymore.

That’s brilliant and it’s the reason I do what I do. It could take years of counselling to get to this point but with Time Line Therapy the thoughts and emotions that are limiting you, go really quickly.

So, I’d like to ask  you

  • Do you have any feelings that you bottle up and where have they come from?
  • Can you picture that bottle inside you and what are the feelings that are inside it?
  • What affect is that having on you?

Some of the learnings that my client had was to surround themselves with people who actually listen to them and to have self belief and self worth. It didn’t take very long to do that – less than two hours.

So maybe you’ve got some feelings that you are bottling up and you can’t let those feelings out?  If you haven’t got the people around you that you can talk to, the bottle may stay full and then it is going to have consequences.

If that’s going on for you, I’d really like you to give me a shout so that we can get rid of that bottle and negative emotions and beliefs. Then you will be safer, happier and you can allow yourself to do whatever you want to do.

If you’d like some help with this then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy seeing how you can empty any negative thoughts and emotions in your bottle, and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – emptying people’s bottles

If you’d like to learn more techniques to get rid of limiting decisions and  and negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

Anchoring Positive Emotions

Anchoring Positive Emotions

How to anchor positive emotions

Anchoring is when we apply a stimulus at the height of an emotion so that the two things become neurologically linked.  We can use this to anchor positive emotions or to get rid of negative emotions.

If you think about it, if we’ve got positive emotions and we can use them at will, then life becomes very interesting and we can use these emotions to move forward and stay positive.   On the flip side if you’ve anchored to negative emotions such as distress, sadness or disappointment from your past then you’re not going to be able to move forward.

There’s lots of reasons for getting positive emotions anchored and I teach how to do this on my NLP Practitioner course, and you can do it yourself.

In this week’s video I teach you the NLP technique to anchor positive emotions. Watch the video and try it for yourself.

Firstly you’ll need to decide on positive emotion you would like to anchor.

As an example, I’ve just been on a business retreat and I could do with some calm. So I thought I might anchor some calm on my knuckles. Follow the process in the video and use the script below to try it for yourself.

Firstly we say to ourselves..

Can you remember a time when you were totally calm?”   (Substitute calm with the positive emotion you want to anchor)

As you remember that time

go back to that time now…..go right back, float down into your body and see what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel those feelings of being totally calm   (As soon as you feel the positive emotion put your finger on your knuckle and as soon as it starts to disappear again take your finger off.)

I then repeat the process several times thinking of different times when I felt totally calm.

When I think about wanting to be calm I can then press the same knuckle and that calmness washes over me because it’s been neurologically linked to the stimulus of pressing my knuckle. This means that anytime I need some calm I just press my knuckle and the calmness comes over me.

So have a think what emotion you would like to have, maybe it’s excitement, determination or focus and use the highlighted script above and have a go.

If you’d like some help with this then get in touch book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy the experimenting and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – clearing your negatives

If you’d like to learn more techniques to anchor positive emotions and get rid of negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

How to get rid of Negativity

How to get rid of negativity

What can you do to remove your negativity?

In this week’s blog I’m going to talk about one way to get rid of your negativity at a conscious level.

Now this is unusual for me because behaviour is generally generated at an unconscious level and from an NLP perspective, to remove unwanted negative behaviour you need to do some work at an unconscious level.   However, recently when working with a client I recognised that minor negativity can sometimes be dealt with at a conscious level.

Listen to this week’s video and try out the technique I’ve suggested to get rid of minor negativity.

I was recently working with a client and she was frustrated. It was a minor frustration she had with her partner who was doing the washing and leaving things on the side rather than folding them away. This meant that she ended up dealing with the consequences and having to tidy up.

We did a NLP technic called “Collapsed Anchors,” where you take a negative and you stack up some positives then you bring them together and the negative disappears. But I think we can do this at a conscious level too.

If you have something like frustration or a minor negative emotion that you want to get rid of, try this.  Hold the minor negative on one hand and then think of what would counteract that minor negative. In my situation, where I was feeling impatient, I was thinking maybe some love, some curiosity – how or why does that person do what they do , or some other positive emotion?  Or perhaps some focus on myself and my business, some excitement and determination. All of a sudden you’ve got all this that you are feeling instead of the negative emotion.  If you can put enough positive emotions into your thoughts you will override the negative at a conscious level.

It may take a bit longer than doing it from an NLP technic perspective `(at an unconscious level) but it’s certainly worth giving it a go.

So have a think what frustrations, impatience, anxieties and minor negative things you have and what positives you can counteract these emotions with. Stack up the positive feelings in your thoughts and you will find that negative will disappear.

If it’s not working at a conscious level for you and you’d like some help then get in touch book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it here https://book-an-appointment-with-Dr-Bridget.as.me/

Enjoy the experimenting and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – clearing your negatives

If you’d like to learn techniques to remove negative thinking at an unconscious level and also sort out your own thinking, I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

What to do about Overthinking

Overthinking – How to change the channel

Overthinking

Overthinking is very common and can be an issue which causes mental health challenges, lack of sleep and it also stops us from solving problems. I always  remember the time, a couple of years ago, when I was standing in the kitchen with so many things going on in my head and it kept me rooted to the ground and stuck! That was a physical manifestation of over thinking. It lead to procrastination and stopped me from sleeping.

Have a watch of the video below, and then read about the ways to stop the overthinking and change the channel, to one of a peaceful and focused mind


These are the main ways that I use and teach my clients to use:

  1. Notice all of the chatter- rather than just keeping overthinking. Become aware of it when it happens.
  2. Focus on solving the problem – use time management and productivity tools like the pomodora technique. Plan your month, week, day and hours. Write lists and prioritise. Journaling helps.
  3. Challenge the beliefs  you have that may not be true. If you think “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do that”, you may be wrong and it may be a result of past programming and protecting yourself from past hurts.
  4. Schedule time for reflection. So journaling, meditation, mindfulness are very useful.
  5. Time Line Therapy (R) is an American Board of NLP technique which is extremely effective and removes major negative emotions and any limiting beliefs from your thinking. It’s amazing how effective this is and how the overthinking simply stops leaving you room to live your life to your full potential, Ask me for more information.

If you are struggling, let me know. You can fill in the contact form here, or book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me

See you next week

Dr Bridget – clearing your thinking

 

Recognising the Causes of Conflict

What Causes Conflict?

conflict

Get Rid of Conflict

Hello – Are you experiencing any conflicts in your thinking, where you find it difficult to make decisions, affecting your emotional state and leading to behaviour that’s not you?

Or maybe you have colleagues and friends who have been wondering why they are feeling confused and can’t do what they want to do.

Covid and many other traumatic events have led to trauma, loneliness, isolation and these things can create conflict in our thinking – in our neurology.

Watch the video to find out the causes and get in touch if you are experiencing conflict as it is easy to help you re program your thinking  to resolve this. NLP is a content free way of resolving patterns of thinking  so that you can feel completely clear about your life.

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Here’s a summary:

Whether due to Covid  or other events in your life, significant emotional events lead to conflict which has the ability to create changes in our neurology and programming.

  • Parts – where part of us believes one thing and part of us believes another. Or sometimes we believe one thing and sometimes we believe another. Its exhausting and affects our ability to make decisions.
  • Values changes – maybe things such as security and health have become more important and these conflict with values that you used to have
  • Beliefs – maybe we have adopted beliefs that limit us or maybe empower us? How resilient are you?

The techniques in NLP can remove conflict really easily, realigning your memories, values and beliefs with your goals so there is NO CONFLICT. And in a very comfortable way.

The ways that I help people to resolve these challenges are by 1:1 coaching, Breakthrough Coaching and NLP Training, where you also learn how to use these skills yourself.

Get in touch to find out how you can resolve conflict right now.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

Reasons to Avoid Negativity

Reasons to Avoid Negativity

Avoid Negativity

Get Excited

For a change I thought I’d base this blog on a typical client’s challenge. This person is one of many who come and see me in order to move on in their life and get “success” – whatever that means to them. This client thought that they were positive but they weren’t getting success and when we went into the details, actually they had a lot of negativity from  things in the past which they had suppressed. So they were telling themselves that they were positive and ignoring the little voice inside that said – “yes – but…..”

They were bored and procrastinating due to a fear which we uncovered and then removed.

There had been trauma with relationships, bullying and other incidents which had led to them self sabotaging and not effectively running a business which meant a lot to them. Their values (motivators) were all about moving away from what they didn’t want rather than towards what they didn’t want. Their top value was peace when we elicited them and this was because they didn’t want conflict. The second one was Self – Belief which was because they felt not good enough and was avoiding that thought.

Watch the video below to get some more insights and I’ll give you access to a free tool below to discover your values so that you can reflect on yours.

So this person’s limiting beliefs were:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I won’t be respected
  • I can’t do what I want
  • Life would be worse if I am successful

And they got stuck- not surprisingly.

So we removed all of the beliefs, plus some associated ones, using NLP and Time Line Therapy and my Breakthrough process and they became very excited by life!

If you have things that are keeping you from going for what you want, book a free appointment and let’s get you excited as well.

Here is a tool to elicit your values.

Important : You can get even more tools by joining my STRETCH  on-line mastermind group for Business Success – check it out here. Its a rapidly growing and empowering group with great feedback. It’s half price until the end of January 2019.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Getting You Excited

 

Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

How to get Positive People into Your Life

Positive People

Hi everyone – let me ask you some questions:

  • Are you sitting there thinking that you are too busy to meet up with positive people who would support you in your life, business or career?
  • Do you have people surrounding you that are mood hoovers and drag your mood down?
  • Are you making excuses to avoid going out  and getting that support which would help you to be positive, motivated and full of energy?

This is what I think –  I could be sitting doing my business, writing blogs, seeing clients or people that are interested in me supporting them and, as a result, forget to interact with positive people.  I don’t in general have people who lower my mood around me as I have taken action to either change them to positive support or removed them from my life – sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it – but its part of keeping myself in a good space. Here’s a link to my ABCD tool coaching video which helps you to “sort” the people around you.

Watch this video and then take any action that you need to to.

So what is your gut feeling about your positive support? Do you need more or do you have the right people around you?

If you need more, who would they be? Get a piece of paper and start to make a list. Watch the ABCD coaching video on my Mindset for Success course. You can test people out to see if they are truly supportive or not.

Make a list of what you want to talk to people about and run past them and also what you can do for them.

If you need any positive support and would like to interact with me on a regular basis book an appointment to talk to me and also join my closed FB group called One Step Closer by clicking here.

It makes all the difference!

Until next week, go find and find those people and let me know how you are doing.

And if you want more tools to support you to get success, then find out more about my Mindset for Success course which gives you so much more and is till at an introductory price.

Dr Bridget

How Important do you Think You Are?

How Important are you?

Important

Important

Sometimes I come across people who inspire me to write a blog and there have been two people in the last month who have had challenges that I want to share with you for your reflection.

The first person was extremely busy growing a business and didn’t really have time to do the things that he needed to do to get a balance and really get what he wanted in his life. The second was a person who worked for a large corporate company who wanted to do something different and was not sure if she wanted to take a risk and go for it or not.

The thing that was common in both cases was a belief that they weren’t important and didn’t matter- this led to them not making the changes that they needed to  make to make them happy and give them what they wanted in life. In other words they were stuck.

This feeling of not mattering can come from the past, from your values or from your beliefs. It can also come from the people that you surround yourself with.

Watch the video below and then ask yourself the questions below and get in touch it you want to talk it through with me.

So its not about me saying  you are important- its about you knowing that you are and making changes in your life to show this and therefore do the following 3 things:

  • Be who you want to be
  • Do what you want to do
  • Have what you want to have

Ask yourself

Do you think that you are important throughout all areas of your life?

Are you standing up for yourself ?

Does your behaviour reflect that you are important to you?

If you are struggling with this then give me a call on 07973 635102 or book a appointment to have a free half hour with me because you are worth it!

Until next week, take care of yourself!

Dr Bridget

 

What you Need to know about your Values?

Your Values – knowing about them is important!

ValuesI was recently asked to give a talk to  a group of women who want to be more successful and I chose the subject of values. This is because they are so important in driving your success in life or even driving you down a road that you don’t want to go down.  I’ve given you access to a values elicitation tool here so that you can find out yours.

Values are your motivators, your drivers. They are usually in place by the age of 7 and can then get changed as life happens and we change our beliefs. watch the video below and then read the rest of the reasons for the importance of  knowing your values below the video. Remember to download your Values tool.

If you know what your values are you can really use them in the following ways:

  • Tick them – so use them in your life, business, career or relationships. Mine for my business are Determination, Fun, Clarity and Making a difference and I make sure that I “tick”those every day and then feel happy with  my progress.
  • Live by them. So I measure my decisions in terms of whether they are ticking my values – It’s so much easier to make those decisions then.
  • Explain to others what they are. When I do this they understand me and “get” me which I find really helpful.
  • Be able to find out what other’s values are. This means that you can tick theirs in your interactions with them, which makes life so much more interesting and relationships are stronger.
  • Know whether yours are useful for you – sometimes people have values which have “no movement” such as honesty, ethics, creativity and freedom. Lovely and if you think about it, not very useful to push a business or career forward. Maybe having something such as Purpose or Determination may move people more – what do you think? I put determination at the top of mine, which is easy to do with NLP

It’s what we teach people to be able to do in our NLP trainings or on a one to one coaching basis – just contact me on my contact page

Here’s the link for the Values tool – let me know what  your results are.

Have a great week and see you next week

Dr Bridget

Happiness- How Do You Measure Yours

Happiness

Happiness

Happiness

It’s been an interesting week and we will be talking about happiness in this blog. It was really sad that Ken Dodd died – we will miss his laughter and tickling stick. and his songs – the most famous one starts:

“Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess “

And its International Happiness day today! In order to increase our feelings of being happy, I think that we need to be able to measure it in some way and then make the changes to increase our scores. What do you think? Have a look at the video below where I give you some tips to increase happiness and leave me some comments please.

 

So, what I would suggest is finding a book or a journal and start to measure your happiness scores each day. You can choose a time to do this – I think I’ll do it at the end of the day. Sometimes I bounce out of bed feeling happy in the morning and then my energy levels decrease through the day.

The things that have the potential to increase your  feelings of being happy are:

  • Positive thoughts
  • Positive behaviours
  • Positive actions

And you have a choice in your thoughts and your behaviours, don’t you?

Behaviours can include:

  • Kindness
  • Gratititude
  • Exercise
  • Mindfulness

And if you feel you don’t have choices or can’t change your behaviours, get in touch with me.

Using NLP and learning how to change your negative thoughts and behaviours will greatly increase your happiness and we only have one life – I want to help you to live it to the full.

Until next week, be happy and  keep in touch!

Dr Bridget

P.S I have an NLP Practitioner group from April 20-27th if anyone would like to increase their happiness and be able to do learn the skills to do that with others. Click here for more details