How to Make your Unconscious Behaviours Conscious

Unconscious behaviours

Unconscious behaviours

Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.

Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously

Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:

 Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:

  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Doubt
  • Hiding
  • Distracting

And many more

In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.

  • List everything  (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
  • Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
  • Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
  • Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
  • Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening

If you have anything going on in  your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind

Why is Consistency Important?

Why is Consistency Important?

Hi. I expect you’ve noticed that if you aren’t consistent in your behaviour or what you say, then you get different results. This may well be fine, however- there are certain situations where consistency is important.

I’ve used a dog training example in this video and it equally applies to our business results and results in life and relationships.

For example, if we do social media, then it’s more effective to be consistent with your posts and videos and communication as it gets people to know who you are and expect you to show up on a regular basis.

Watch the video and let me know what you think.

So, I’ve been taught that shouting for my dog by his name and then rewarding him works really well as you’ve seen. I get frustrated by my husband who will the shout “come on” and then may be the name and then whistle and forget to reward him when he works out what’s expected. No consistency!

My question to you, is:

How consistent are you in repeating things that you know works – that’s in your business, in your life, in your career or in a relationship?

Be honest- give yourself a score on the scale of 0-10 where 0 is “I’m a nightmare, I’m not consistent at all to 10, which is, I’m wonderful, I do everything consistently and it works.

How would it be if you could choose one area to improve your consistency in and monitor the results?

Let me know if you need any help – I do a free session to look at what’s happening and what I can help you change to become consistent – There’s usually a root cause!

Until next week

Dr Bridget, putting out a blog every week for your benefit

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Goal Setting

Goal

We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.

The important things to consider as you write your goal are:

  • Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the  1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
  • Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
  • Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
  • Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
  • Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
  • Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
  • Make sure that it increases choice for you
  • Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.

And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?

I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting  – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal

So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.

If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.

Until next week- Make this your best year yet!

Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Model

Role Model

I was recently running an NLP Master Practitioner course and we were talking about modelling – this is where NLP has come from – Modelling excellence. Its a key part of the course. Click here for more information about NLP courses

We do a project on my Master Practitioner course  where we model a skill that someone has, by eliciting that person’s values, beliefs and strategies and then installing these in ourself – a much quicker way of effecting change than being taught.

Unusually, people on the course were struggling with who to have as a Role Model and I had to agree – I don’t  really have one myself (apart from Princess Di). I spent some time wondering who I respected enough to want to change to become like them.

And then I had a light bulb moment – I thought that perhaps I could become my own Role Model and become one for other people. It led to a consideration of what qualities I would like to have that other people and myself might respect- have a watch of the video and then answer the questions below it for yourself.

The qualities that I’d like to improve or develop in myself are:

  • Having an interest in people and things- doing pretty well with this
  • Making a difference to people- definitely something that’s key for me and I am doing that
  • Being myself, which includes making sure I “tick” my values, keep my boundaries, as and the same time, be flexible to enable other people’s models of the world- I’m mainly doing this
  • Taking action and being determined- doing this most of the time
  • Self care – important in my journey through this life and something that I’ve been working on this year

Next year, I want to improve my capability to ask for help – I think this is part of self-care and not something that comes easily to me. It would make a huge difference to my life and a behaviour that I encourage in my clients – so I’m committing to do that. It will make me a better Role Model

Questions for you:

  • What qualities would you look for in yourself, to be your own and others’ Role Model?
  • What would you change to get these (if anything) ?
  • Is it OK to be a Role Model for yourself and others?

Once you have decided whether you need to change anything, post in the comments, and as always, let me know here if you need to talk through anything.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – being the best Role Model I can be.

 

Where are you in the Molehill System?

Have I lost the plot? Mole hills?

Sysytem

Mole hill

OK- so I’m known for being a bit different and even odd (nicely odd) at times! I was filming some prescriptions for success in my garden recently and noticed there were lots of mole hills – which is slightly frustrating as I thought they had moved over to the park on the other side of the river. Anyway, I like to take opportunities to film something a bit different and it got me thinking – “What is the purpose of a mole hill?” So I looked it up and apparently, moles have a system of tunnels, which I guess I already knew, and  the reason for making a  mole hill is that when it rains, all of the moles’ food (worms and such like) goes to the surface and they end up having to also come to the surface in order to survive. Thats really interesting and has made me more tolerant of the mole hills. And I thought – maybe this could be looked at as a metaphor for ourselves.

Maybe, we can bury ourselves underground and feel safe and secure but sometimes we need to poke our head up above  our comfort system in order to survive and thrive. I wonder if moles feel uncomfortable doing this? I have a cat who has bought moles into the house and can be seen sitting by a mole hill listening intently for any movement.

Have a watch of my video below and ask yourself the questions underneath.

Ok – so not my best video but it does raise some questions:

  • Should I stay subscribed to this web site? Thats not a serious question by the way- of course you will – lots of new things coming soon!
  • Where are you at your most comfortable – in your tunnel system or poking your head out of your comfortable place in order to survive?
  • Do you have a system that you function best in or do you need to find one where you can stay comfortable and survive and thrive?

If you would like a chat to me, either to tell me that was a bit weird or to get some help in surviving and thriving, click here

I also have 2 places left on my NLP Practitioner Course in January – find out more here – it gives you a system to grow and become totally excellent rather than getting stuck in tunnels

Until next week, happy digging

Dr Bridget

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget

What you Need to know about your Values?

Your Values – knowing about them is important!

ValuesI was recently asked to give a talk to  a group of women who want to be more successful and I chose the subject of values. This is because they are so important in driving your success in life or even driving you down a road that you don’t want to go down.  I’ve given you access to a values elicitation tool here so that you can find out yours.

Values are your motivators, your drivers. They are usually in place by the age of 7 and can then get changed as life happens and we change our beliefs. watch the video below and then read the rest of the reasons for the importance of  knowing your values below the video. Remember to download your Values tool.

If you know what your values are you can really use them in the following ways:

  • Tick them – so use them in your life, business, career or relationships. Mine for my business are Determination, Fun, Clarity and Making a difference and I make sure that I “tick”those every day and then feel happy with  my progress.
  • Live by them. So I measure my decisions in terms of whether they are ticking my values – It’s so much easier to make those decisions then.
  • Explain to others what they are. When I do this they understand me and “get” me which I find really helpful.
  • Be able to find out what other’s values are. This means that you can tick theirs in your interactions with them, which makes life so much more interesting and relationships are stronger.
  • Know whether yours are useful for you – sometimes people have values which have “no movement” such as honesty, ethics, creativity and freedom. Lovely and if you think about it, not very useful to push a business or career forward. Maybe having something such as Purpose or Determination may move people more – what do you think? I put determination at the top of mine, which is easy to do with NLP

It’s what we teach people to be able to do in our NLP trainings or on a one to one coaching basis – just contact me on my contact page

Here’s the link for the Values tool – let me know what  your results are.

Have a great week and see you next week

Dr Bridget

Is your base solid or wobbly?

Your Base- it is Solid or Wobbly?

Base

A great base

I recently want on a course about business growth and it was in this amazing building which has been mentioned in the doomsday book. It burned down and was rebuilt in the 1860s and is now an amazingly beautiful and grand building. And  I’d like to use this building as an example of something that has stood the test of time and although partially destroyed, has been rebuilt in the same style and is breathtakingly grand. I think of it as an analogy for us and our growth. When we were born, we got our base from our parents, our teachers and things that happened around us which gave us our core values. We then look towards role models and then towards our peers as we grow and develop our own style. However the core values are still there and even though things happen to us and we get burned or knocked down, the original structure is still there. This is our base which consists of our core values and our beliefs which have supported us throughout life. If we forget these and grow without remembering our solid base, we are more likely to fall down or destroy ourselves. We also need a growth plan – how we add to the base structure to keep growing and I have talked a lot in my blogs about the way that we want to be when we have grown- the outcomes that we want. Watch the video and have a think about what sort of base you have – is it useful or not?


If you are thinking that your core structure has been a bit wobbly and may need a bit of repairing in order for you to grow as you want and reach your full potential, let me know and book an appointment to talk to me by clicking here.

Have a look around my web site and check out my courses and my 1:1 coaching which will solidify and enhance the solidity of the structure you need to grow and become excellent in all areas of your life.

Until next week, keep on building and growing

Dr Bridget

How are you Contributing to your Equality?

Equality is the State of being Equal

Equality

Are You Equal?

Being Equal,  especially in status, rights or opportunities is a very topical subject and International Woman’s day is happening this week.

However, I want to take a different look at equality, especially as a lot of my clients struggle with confidence, self worth and projecting success. They do not feel equal and I wanted to highlight this important aspect of equality.

Watch the video and then ask yourself the questions underneath

  • How are you showing up in terms of  equality when you compare yourself to others?
  • Are you hiding your views or what you feel?
  • Is there anything that is stopping you from showing up as an equal? Either now in your surroundings or from the past?
  • Do you feel equal?
  • Is equality something that you don’t want to consider?

As we progress through childhood, we pick up our values from our parents and our teachers and the people around us. We also develop beliefs which can limit the way that we think about our career or business or life progression. Maybe things happen around us, or to us, and we “wire” the belief that we are not equal to others into our thinking. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where we only notice when we are not equal.

If any of these questions bring up any queries or negative feelings for you, get in touch with me and book an appointment to start a conversation and to progress the way that you can be equal to others.

Because you are equal !!

Have a think, have a look at my web site and the new resources available for mindset for business success and get in touch on 07973 635102 if you want to talk to me.

You can also contact me via the contact page. 

Until next week – be equal!

Dr Bridget