Parts

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

Model of the World

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

Delegation

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Goal Setting

Goal

We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.

The important things to consider as you write your goal are:

  • Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the  1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
  • Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
  • Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
  • Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
  • Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
  • Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
  • Make sure that it increases choice for you
  • Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.

And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?

I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting  – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal

So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.

If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.

Until next week- Make this your best year yet!

Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease

Role Model

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Model

Role Model

I was recently running an NLP Master Practitioner course and we were talking about modelling – this is where NLP has come from – Modelling excellence. Its a key part of the course. Click here for more information about NLP courses

We do a project on my Master Practitioner course  where we model a skill that someone has, by eliciting that person’s values, beliefs and strategies and then installing these in ourself – a much quicker way of effecting change than being taught.

Unusually, people on the course were struggling with who to have as a Role Model and I had to agree – I don’t  really have one myself (apart from Princess Di). I spent some time wondering who I respected enough to want to change to become like them.

And then I had a light bulb moment – I thought that perhaps I could become my own Role Model and become one for other people. It led to a consideration of what qualities I would like to have that other people and myself might respect- have a watch of the video and then answer the questions below it for yourself.

The qualities that I’d like to improve or develop in myself are:

  • Having an interest in people and things- doing pretty well with this
  • Making a difference to people- definitely something that’s key for me and I am doing that
  • Being myself, which includes making sure I “tick” my values, keep my boundaries, as and the same time, be flexible to enable other people’s models of the world- I’m mainly doing this
  • Taking action and being determined- doing this most of the time
  • Self care – important in my journey through this life and something that I’ve been working on this year

Next year, I want to improve my capability to ask for help – I think this is part of self-care and not something that comes easily to me. It would make a huge difference to my life and a behaviour that I encourage in my clients – so I’m committing to do that. It will make me a better Role Model

Questions for you:

  • What qualities would you look for in yourself, to be your own and others’ Role Model?
  • What would you change to get these (if anything) ?
  • Is it OK to be a Role Model for yourself and others?

Once you have decided whether you need to change anything, post in the comments, and as always, let me know here if you need to talk through anything.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – being the best Role Model I can be.