How do I allow myself to be happy?

be happy

How do I allow myself to be happy?

It’s a question a lot of people often ask themselves. It sort of implies that they not allowing themselves to be happy.  It’s a really interesting question as it’s almost like there is a decision that they’ve made, or other people have made that they can’t allow themselves to be happy.

In this week’s video I share with you the story of a client whose main problem was that they couldn’t allow themselves to be happy, be spontaneous and have fun.   Listen to the video about their story and how we worked together to help them overcome this problem.

“How can I allow myself to be happy, spontaneous and have fun? “

This was the question my client asked.

There was something stopping them all the time and when we went back to the root cause, it was from their unconscious mind. When they were a teenager they were surrounded by people who didn’t listen to them and, as a direct result, they didn’t say what they thought, in order not to upset people. It was an impossibility for them to tell people how hurt they felt about what was going on and they said they  bottled up their feelings.

When I asked my client – what does that mean? What sort of bottle is that and where is it?  They said it was a sort of grey bottle in their chest which was full of hurt, confusion and sadness.  Of course,  that has a consequence for yourself, your physiology, for your future and just being happy and was a problem that needed to be dealt with.

We did some Time Line Therapy which get’s rid of limiting decisions like

  • ‘It’s not ok for me to be myself’,’
  • ‘It’s not ok for me to say how feel,’ or
  • ‘I’ve got to keep the peace.’

It also helps get rid of negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt.   All this was going on in their unconscious mind and, following Time Line Therapy, all this was gone. The bottle had gone and they couldn’t find the feelings anymore.

That’s brilliant and it’s the reason I do what I do. It could take years of counselling to get to this point but with Time Line Therapy the thoughts and emotions that are limiting you, go really quickly.

So, I’d like to ask  you

  • Do you have any feelings that you bottle up and where have they come from?
  • Can you picture that bottle inside you and what are the feelings that are inside it?
  • What affect is that having on you?

Some of the learnings that my client had was to surround themselves with people who actually listen to them and to have self belief and self worth. It didn’t take very long to do that – less than two hours.

So maybe you’ve got some feelings that you are bottling up and you can’t let those feelings out?  If you haven’t got the people around you that you can talk to, the bottle may stay full and then it is going to have consequences.

If that’s going on for you, I’d really like you to give me a shout so that we can get rid of that bottle and negative emotions and beliefs. Then you will be safer, happier and you can allow yourself to do whatever you want to do.

If you’d like some help with this then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy seeing how you can empty any negative thoughts and emotions in your bottle, and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – emptying people’s bottles

If you’d like to learn more techniques to get rid of limiting decisions and  and negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

How do you Maintain your Boundaries?

How do You Maintain Your Boundaries?

Boundaries

How do you keep your boundaries?

Hi – This prescription is something that I talk to my 1:1 clients about and those on my courses. This is because you can be in a really positive place and then something will lower your mood and undo all of the personal development that you have undertaken. And it’s important for you to consider boundaries as well!

First you need to know what a boundary is. A boundary is something that stops you from feeling positive and stops you from going where you are going. It can either be a person or an environment or something that you see on social media or the news. Maybe watching politics or disasters on the news or going to a networking event where you feel uncomfortable could be a boundary. I also know that there are people who suck my energy out of me- I call them mood hoovers- and they are boundaries for me.

Watch the video and then read under the video to decide what  your boundaries are and how to keep them.

Ask yourself:

  • What are your boundaries?
  • If you don’t know, make a list
  • Notice when you feel glum or your mood lowers
  • Let people know what your boundaries are.
  • Let go of the fear about telling people and if you can’t maybe they are a boundary.

Let me know if you can’t put a boundary in or can’t tell people about them as there is a liklehood that they will stop  you achieving what you want to achieve. And at some stage in the future you will wish  you had been firmer and put thoat boundary in.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to get where you want.

P.S We are now booking for the next NLP courses whcih are in 3 months time

 

 

Using Your Brain to Change your Internal Picture

Changing your Internal Picture using your Brain

Brain

Using your brain

Hello!

We create our reality from the vast amount of information that comes into our senses using filters and end up with an internal picture of what’s going on. The filters include our experiences and memories, our values and our beliefs amongst other things.  The resulting picture consists of things that are visual auditory and kinaesthetic (feelings) mainly. This “picture” creates our emotional state, changes our physiology and creates behaviours and therefore results. And this is sometimes useful and sometimes not.

I recently had a client who felt very angry in a specific situation and couldn’t get past that anger and when I asked her where the picture was – it was right in front of her, so no wonder she couldn’t get past it. Our brain has created that picture and store it unconsciously and therefore can easily change that picture by changing the components of the picture.

Have a watch of the video and then follow the instructions below in the blog to change any picture you have in your head that is unhelpful.

So there are a couple of things you can do to change the picture – well there are many – but I’m going to give you a couple:

  1. With the lady with the anger, I sent her a set of comic angry people which made her laugh and she decided to use one of those pictures instead of the one she had created.
  2. I ask this question – it’s a very specific one. “When you think of that situation or person, do you have a picture?” Precise wording is important. My client said it was straight in front of her. I then asked her to move that picture to the left hand side of her. Her emotional state changed when she did that becuse the  meaning of the picture had changed because the location had changed. You can also “throw” the picture behind your body. Your unconscious mind then cannot see the picture and therefore again the state changes

So next time when you have a picture in your head that is unuseful or bothers you say to yourself:

“When  you think about the person or situation – do you have a picture?”

Then put your hand where it is and move picture to left hand side – no picture will be there when  you think about it then. Or throw picture behing you – it’s then not there.

This is an easy way to reduce negative emotions and it may be useful for you in getting your goals if there are things stopping you.

If it doesn’t help, contact me to let me know.

These skills are taught on my NLP courses and in 1:1 coaching so have a look at the options and let me know if you want to start the conversation.

Til next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you use your brain to change your life!

5 NLP Principles for Success

5 NLP Principles for Success

NLP

Success

Many people have read articles about principles for success and take actions as a result.  These are somewhat different and are NLP Principles for Success. They are taught on the NLP Practitioner courses that I run and are key to becoming succesful – whatever that means for you. There are 5 principles.

Watch the video and then read about them below


Here are the 5 principles:

  1. Knowing your outcome. If you don’t have this knowledge of what you want- your goals- you won’t know where you are heading, what you will see, hear and feel when  you get there and what evidence you will need to know that you’ve arrived.
  2. Taking Action. Even if you have a clear goal, sometimes it will be difficult to take the action and you may start procrastinating. This is usually because of Negative Beliefs that have come from Decisions that  you have made in the past and also maybe some negative emotions. Often people get really anxious and simply taking action stops the anxiety.
  3. Sensory Acuity. This is about noticing microchanges in yourself and other people. Perhaps you notice yourself getting hot or cold? Or that your stature changes – becoming more upright or otherwise. Maybe you notice a feeling in your stomach of tension or notice that your breathing has changed in some way. Becoming aware  of this can give you a lot of information about your bodies reaction to what you are thinking or feeling. It is often part of what we call your gut reaction or your intuition.
  4. Behavioural flexibility. Notice your behaviour and the results that it gets you. NLP  gives you many different tools  to change habitual behaviour and to change what is not working for you. After all, the meaning of your behaviour behaviour is the results that you get rather than what you thought you would get. Also the meaning of your communication is the result that you get and therefore you need to be fleible with both to get what you want.
  5. Operate from a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. A psychology of excellence means that you are fully aligned with your outcomes and with your values and beliefs. You will have no internal negative chatter and will be heading towards where you want to go. A physiology of excellence is equally important. Whatever you do with your body affects your moods and vice versa. Take care of yourself. Anything you do that affects your physiology  needs to be empowering. Eat well, move well and notice when anything needs attention.

If you are doing all those things you will get your goals and be empowered and be happy and fulfilled.

If you aren’t doing these things and have tried and not managed to, book an appointment with me. I do a free 1/2 hour session to enable you to put these 5 principles into action

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you a high five!

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

Reasons to Avoid Negativity

Reasons to Avoid Negativity

Avoid Negativity

Get Excited

For a change I thought I’d base this blog on a typical client’s challenge. This person is one of many who come and see me in order to move on in their life and get “success” – whatever that means to them. This client thought that they were positive but they weren’t getting success and when we went into the details, actually they had a lot of negativity from  things in the past which they had suppressed. So they were telling themselves that they were positive and ignoring the little voice inside that said – “yes – but…..”

They were bored and procrastinating due to a fear which we uncovered and then removed.

There had been trauma with relationships, bullying and other incidents which had led to them self sabotaging and not effectively running a business which meant a lot to them. Their values (motivators) were all about moving away from what they didn’t want rather than towards what they didn’t want. Their top value was peace when we elicited them and this was because they didn’t want conflict. The second one was Self – Belief which was because they felt not good enough and was avoiding that thought.

Watch the video below to get some more insights and I’ll give you access to a free tool below to discover your values so that you can reflect on yours.

So this person’s limiting beliefs were:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I won’t be respected
  • I can’t do what I want
  • Life would be worse if I am successful

And they got stuck- not surprisingly.

So we removed all of the beliefs, plus some associated ones, using NLP and Time Line Therapy and my Breakthrough process and they became very excited by life!

If you have things that are keeping you from going for what you want, book a free appointment and let’s get you excited as well.

Here is a tool to elicit your values.

Important : You can get even more tools by joining my STRETCH  on-line mastermind group for Business Success – check it out here. Its a rapidly growing and empowering group with great feedback. It’s half price until the end of January 2019.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Getting You Excited

 

Does Labelling Yourself Affect Your Results?

Labelling yourself – does it help?

labellling

What’s your Label?

Labelling is needed to cope with the vast amount of information that we have coming into our senses. If we don’t label things, we don’t know how to deal with them or what sort of behaviour we need to do to go with the label. However it sometimes is unhelpful to label things or yourself – as this blog will show you.

I was recently working with someone who had some challenges with his mindset for success, relating to things that has happened to him previously in his life. We had got rid of his negative emotions and he was doing well. However, what we hadn’t dealt with was that his dad was a hard worker and my client had labelled himself as a type A personality. Hard working, striving, life imbalance and tendency to over-react sort of sums up the characteristics of an A type personality.

So he determinedly  labelled himself as an A person and therefore his behaviour went with that and eventually he hit a brick wall and spent 6 weeks in bed. It was very upsetting to hear about it, for his wife, his kids and his associates.

When we talked it became obvious that he was having a big conflict. Part of him thought he was an A type personality and  part of him wanted to be a B type personality – much more laid back and relaxed. This conflict got bigger and bigger and he eventuallly hit that brick wall. Watch the video where I talk about this conflict

As we explored the conflict, he realised that he could acually do both and that the purpose of the brick wall was to protect him while he sorted out the conflict.

Using an NLP technique called Parts Integration which gets rid of the conflict, he has now rediscovered his mojo and is enjoying his business and a balanced life.

I’d like to ask you:

Have you labelled yourself as anything unhelpful?

If so, have a careful think about it and either relabel yourself give me a ring if you are struggling with internal conflict.

Until next week, have a balance in your life!

Dr Bridget

The Importance of Talking about Your Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions – It’s useful to talk about them!

Negative emotionsThis is a really important topic! I was reading an article about  a study with people with phobias recently. The conclusion of the study was that the people who expressed their negative emotions and said what they were scared of  actually were less stressed as a result – I explain more in the video below.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a tendency to keep my emotions locked up. So if I hurt myself, I tend to push people away rather than saying how much it hurts and getting a hug.

I think we often do the same in business as well – if we are frightened about pushing forward, its a lot easier to just do something easy rather than saying “it’s scary” and getting help. Or if we are sad, we often don’t talk about it to other people and sometimes don’t grieve fully.

And the results of locking negative emotions away ( in a cupboard or a box or in the back of your mind) is that they can cause stress and dis-ease. In other words, depression anxiety , illnesses and general  un-wellness – even cancer.

This is because our thoughts and emotions are connected to all of our cells. All of our memories are in all of our cells and the impact of carrying negatives in our system can be huge. Not what we really want is it?

Watch the video and then read more below

The major negative emotions that you can experience are Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt and most other negative emotions are sub sets of these.

So ask yourself whether you are suppressing any of these and just hoping that they stay suppressed? The problem is that you might be successful in that, or  maybe the cupboard door gets left open or the lid comes off the box or the thoughts move to the front of your mind – what do you think?

What can we do about it?

Make a decision to talk about them to a trusted friend or colleague and then see whether that makes the emotions more comfortable. If you have chronic pain, see if that is reduced by talking about the negative emotions.

If they really are very uncomfortable to you, get in touch with me here and I can talk you through how else I can help you to get rid of them. Time Line Therapy is a great tool which gets rid of these emotions in about 3 hours – the reason that I work with people!.

Until next week, Keep on talking about how you feel!

Dr Bridget

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

Why Being Specific Helps you Get your Goals

Be Specific and You Will Get Your Goals

Be specific

Be Specific

One of the really great things about taking an  NLP course is that you learn all about what the Unconscious (U/C) Mind does and how it functions. It is the driver of your behaviour and is the domain of your emotions so it’s really great to understand it and work with it.   The U/C mind likes clarity – it takes the path of least effort. If you aren’t clear and specific the U/C mind will not know what to do and this can lead to lack of action and anxiety. If you are interested in finding out more click here to find out about my NLP courses.

An example of this taking the path of least effort, is if you just set a goal to earn more money, your U/C mind will then find you a 10p piece on the pavement rather than what you really wanted but haven’t said. If you have any goal and you haven’t been really clear, then the likelihood of you actually achieving your goal is much lower than if you have been specific. Here’s a link to a video about goal setting.

Watch the video below where I talk about this common challenge.

If you aren’t setting effective goals and find yourself procrastinating or getting anxious,  your unconscious mind and conscious mind are probably not aligned, so get in touch via my web site to book an appointment to talk to me and start changing your life today.

Until next week, practice being specific -it works

Dr Bridget