Can we Change Negative Beliefs? Here are Some Tips and why we have them.

Can we change negative beliefs? Here are some tips and why we have them.

 

Beliefs

Beliefs aren’t real

I’m really annoyed with myself when I think back. I  used to think that “no-one was on my side” and that came from a decision that I made many moons ago. Something happened and I decided that I was on my own. So, as we do, my brain focused on that decision. It became a belief and created my “reality” and I never noticed when anyone was there for me.

Here’s the explanation for what is happening: There are at least two million pieces of information of raw, unlabelled data that come into our senses. Things that we hear, things that we see and things that we touch. And we have a great filtering system so that we can reduce this amount of information to a manageable amount – about 7 bits of information per second. One of the filters that we use is the decisions that we make in a split second. These then become beliefs and cause us to believe that whatever we decided is the truth. We delete any things that are positive such as “people are there to support me”.

Watch the video below and then have a think about the questions below the video

So, I’d like to ask you what decisions have you made that create your beliefs and your reality? AND, if you decided to look for evidence that the opposite is true, would that be helpful? Could you form new beliefs and therefore have a more positive life?

Give it a go and become more aware of how you have created your reality and look for evidence of what you want and let me know if you’d like to have some help to change your beliefs to positive ones.

If you are interested in learning more about other techniques to help yourself or others to change a negative belief into a positive belief take a look at my NLP Certified Practitioner training as we have a section where we learn how to do just that using submodalities. My trainees learn and perform this technique on the course and the results are extraordinary in some cases some people having a negative belief for many years is changed to something positive in around 20 minutes!

If you want to change a negative belief get in touch with me to apply for a free 30-minute consultation HERE

Check out one of my other blogs What To Do When Your Have Limiting Beliefs About Money

Until next time,

Dr Bridget

How do you Maintain your Boundaries?

How do You Maintain Your Boundaries?

Boundaries

How do you keep your boundaries?

Hi – This prescription is something that I talk to my 1:1 clients about and those on my courses. This is because you can be in a really positive place and then something will lower your mood and undo all of the personal development that you have undertaken. And it’s important for you to consider boundaries as well!

First you need to know what a boundary is. A boundary is something that stops you from feeling positive and stops you from going where you are going. It can either be a person or an environment or something that you see on social media or the news. Maybe watching politics or disasters on the news or going to a networking event where you feel uncomfortable could be a boundary. I also know that there are people who suck my energy out of me- I call them mood hoovers- and they are boundaries for me.

Watch the video and then read under the video to decide what  your boundaries are and how to keep them.

Ask yourself:

  • What are your boundaries?
  • If you don’t know, make a list
  • Notice when you feel glum or your mood lowers
  • Let people know what your boundaries are.
  • Let go of the fear about telling people and if you can’t maybe they are a boundary.

Let me know if you can’t put a boundary in or can’t tell people about them as there is a liklehood that they will stop  you achieving what you want to achieve. And at some stage in the future you will wish  you had been firmer and put thoat boundary in.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to get where you want.

P.S We are now booking for the next NLP courses whcih are in 3 months time

 

 

Using Your Brain to Change your Internal Picture

Changing your Internal Picture using your Brain

Brain

Using your brain

Hello!

We create our reality from the vast amount of information that comes into our senses using filters and end up with an internal picture of what’s going on. The filters include our experiences and memories, our values and our beliefs amongst other things.  The resulting picture consists of things that are visual auditory and kinaesthetic (feelings) mainly. This “picture” creates our emotional state, changes our physiology and creates behaviours and therefore results. And this is sometimes useful and sometimes not.

I recently had a client who felt very angry in a specific situation and couldn’t get past that anger and when I asked her where the picture was – it was right in front of her, so no wonder she couldn’t get past it. Our brain has created that picture and store it unconsciously and therefore can easily change that picture by changing the components of the picture.

Have a watch of the video and then follow the instructions below in the blog to change any picture you have in your head that is unhelpful.

So there are a couple of things you can do to change the picture – well there are many – but I’m going to give you a couple:

  1. With the lady with the anger, I sent her a set of comic angry people which made her laugh and she decided to use one of those pictures instead of the one she had created.
  2. I ask this question – it’s a very specific one. “When you think of that situation or person, do you have a picture?” Precise wording is important. My client said it was straight in front of her. I then asked her to move that picture to the left hand side of her. Her emotional state changed when she did that becuse the  meaning of the picture had changed because the location had changed. You can also “throw” the picture behind your body. Your unconscious mind then cannot see the picture and therefore again the state changes

So next time when you have a picture in your head that is unuseful or bothers you say to yourself:

“When  you think about the person or situation – do you have a picture?”

Then put your hand where it is and move picture to left hand side – no picture will be there when  you think about it then. Or throw picture behing you – it’s then not there.

This is an easy way to reduce negative emotions and it may be useful for you in getting your goals if there are things stopping you.

If it doesn’t help, contact me to let me know.

These skills are taught on my NLP courses and in 1:1 coaching so have a look at the options and let me know if you want to start the conversation.

Til next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you use your brain to change your life!

5 NLP Principles for Success

5 NLP Principles for Success

NLP

Success

Many people have read articles about principles for success and take actions as a result.  These are somewhat different and are NLP Principles for Success. They are taught on the NLP Practitioner courses that I run and are key to becoming succesful – whatever that means for you. There are 5 principles.

Watch the video and then read about them below


Here are the 5 principles:

  1. Knowing your outcome. If you don’t have this knowledge of what you want- your goals- you won’t know where you are heading, what you will see, hear and feel when  you get there and what evidence you will need to know that you’ve arrived.
  2. Taking Action. Even if you have a clear goal, sometimes it will be difficult to take the action and you may start procrastinating. This is usually because of Negative Beliefs that have come from Decisions that  you have made in the past and also maybe some negative emotions. Often people get really anxious and simply taking action stops the anxiety.
  3. Sensory Acuity. This is about noticing microchanges in yourself and other people. Perhaps you notice yourself getting hot or cold? Or that your stature changes – becoming more upright or otherwise. Maybe you notice a feeling in your stomach of tension or notice that your breathing has changed in some way. Becoming aware  of this can give you a lot of information about your bodies reaction to what you are thinking or feeling. It is often part of what we call your gut reaction or your intuition.
  4. Behavioural flexibility. Notice your behaviour and the results that it gets you. NLP  gives you many different tools  to change habitual behaviour and to change what is not working for you. After all, the meaning of your behaviour behaviour is the results that you get rather than what you thought you would get. Also the meaning of your communication is the result that you get and therefore you need to be fleible with both to get what you want.
  5. Operate from a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. A psychology of excellence means that you are fully aligned with your outcomes and with your values and beliefs. You will have no internal negative chatter and will be heading towards where you want to go. A physiology of excellence is equally important. Whatever you do with your body affects your moods and vice versa. Take care of yourself. Anything you do that affects your physiology  needs to be empowering. Eat well, move well and notice when anything needs attention.

If you are doing all those things you will get your goals and be empowered and be happy and fulfilled.

If you aren’t doing these things and have tried and not managed to, book an appointment with me. I do a free 1/2 hour session to enable you to put these 5 principles into action

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you a high five!

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

Other People’s Stuff – A gift or not?

Other People’s Stuff

Model of the WorldI was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice  and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit  bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.

This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans  which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it  but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:

People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.

Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens –  and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.

REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!

If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know.  Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own –  I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.

Book an appointment with me for a  free chat or fill in the form on my web site  and lets have a chat about it –  I probably have the answer for you.

People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:

  • Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
  • NLP training courses
  • My Mastermind group called STRETCH
  • My One Step Closer face Book Group

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life

New year New Questions

Questions

Questions

As a coach, I feel it’s “my job” to ask a question that really makes a huge difference to someones life – to their perspective, to their understanding of themselves and something that they haven’t asked themselves before. So I thought I’d share some questions with you that you won’t have asked yourself before.

As we move into the New Year, here are the questions to get you really thinking.

  1. What are you best at? Starting things, changing things or stopping things (not finishing but ending when appropriate)? And then-
  2. What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?

So take the answer to the worst at question and write it down. Now watch the video and answer the questions below.

 

Research has shown that:

People who are worst at starting things have trouble being who they want to be.

People who are worst at changing things have trouble doing what they want to do

People who are worst at stopping things have trouble having what they want to have

So look at what you are worst at and ask the appropriate question:-

Starting things: “Who is it that you are not being that you want to be?”

Changing things “What is that you are not doing that you want to do?”

Stopping things “What is it that you don’t have that you want to have?”

From my perspective. I’m worst at stopping things and when I ask myself “What is it that I don’t have that I want to have?” I come up with things like Excitement and Purpose (must work on those things then)

What have you come up with when you ask yourself the relevant question? Once you know, then ask yourself the reason for that. Let me know if you have any questions and if you’d like to know more about my training courses or personal breakthrough coaching, get in touch here

See you next week

Dr Bridget – always on your side!

Where are you in the Molehill System?

Have I lost the plot? Mole hills?

Sysytem

Mole hill

OK- so I’m known for being a bit different and even odd (nicely odd) at times! I was filming some prescriptions for success in my garden recently and noticed there were lots of mole hills – which is slightly frustrating as I thought they had moved over to the park on the other side of the river. Anyway, I like to take opportunities to film something a bit different and it got me thinking – “What is the purpose of a mole hill?” So I looked it up and apparently, moles have a system of tunnels, which I guess I already knew, and  the reason for making a  mole hill is that when it rains, all of the moles’ food (worms and such like) goes to the surface and they end up having to also come to the surface in order to survive. Thats really interesting and has made me more tolerant of the mole hills. And I thought – maybe this could be looked at as a metaphor for ourselves.

Maybe, we can bury ourselves underground and feel safe and secure but sometimes we need to poke our head up above  our comfort system in order to survive and thrive. I wonder if moles feel uncomfortable doing this? I have a cat who has bought moles into the house and can be seen sitting by a mole hill listening intently for any movement.

Have a watch of my video below and ask yourself the questions underneath.

Ok – so not my best video but it does raise some questions:

  • Should I stay subscribed to this web site? Thats not a serious question by the way- of course you will – lots of new things coming soon!
  • Where are you at your most comfortable – in your tunnel system or poking your head out of your comfortable place in order to survive?
  • Do you have a system that you function best in or do you need to find one where you can stay comfortable and survive and thrive?

If you would like a chat to me, either to tell me that was a bit weird or to get some help in surviving and thriving, click here

I also have 2 places left on my NLP Practitioner Course in January – find out more here – it gives you a system to grow and become totally excellent rather than getting stuck in tunnels

Until next week, happy digging

Dr Bridget

Why Being Specific Helps you Get your Goals

Be Specific and You Will Get Your Goals

Be specific

Be Specific

One of the really great things about taking an  NLP course is that you learn all about what the Unconscious (U/C) Mind does and how it functions. It is the driver of your behaviour and is the domain of your emotions so it’s really great to understand it and work with it.   The U/C mind likes clarity – it takes the path of least effort. If you aren’t clear and specific the U/C mind will not know what to do and this can lead to lack of action and anxiety. If you are interested in finding out more click here to find out about my NLP courses.

An example of this taking the path of least effort, is if you just set a goal to earn more money, your U/C mind will then find you a 10p piece on the pavement rather than what you really wanted but haven’t said. If you have any goal and you haven’t been really clear, then the likelihood of you actually achieving your goal is much lower than if you have been specific. Here’s a link to a video about goal setting.

Watch the video below where I talk about this common challenge.

If you aren’t setting effective goals and find yourself procrastinating or getting anxious,  your unconscious mind and conscious mind are probably not aligned, so get in touch via my web site to book an appointment to talk to me and start changing your life today.

Until next week, practice being specific -it works

Dr Bridget

How to say NO to people and why

How to say No to people and why

Just say No

Say No

This is an important topic because if you do say no, you will get:

  • Head space for what really want to do and will be completely in charge of your life

• Real fulfilment and enjoyment of your life with none of these ups and down moments

And if you don’t say no. you will become overwhelmed, have low mood and be kicking yourself when  you wake up in the night with everything going round and round in your head and lose any time you have to look after yourself.

 

What can you say No to? Watch the video below and have a think about what you can take action on.

Say No to

  • Other peoples baggage – moaning, negativity, reasons and excuses
  • Things that make you angry
  • Work that you hate
  • Business processes or relationships that you hate
  • Toxic relationships – here’s a link to a video about my ABCD tool. Mood hoovers are the Ds – They have a different model of the world and that is fine but if its having a negative affect on your health or your emotions, get rid of them or neutralise them- Just say NO
  • Hanging onto the past – Things have happened and you have put things into your head. The past is gone, the present is the present and the future hasn’t happened yet so let go and notice the things that are around you and be present.

Is there anything that I have forgotten? Let me know and also let me know what you plan to do to start saying NO. If you need any help, just go here and book a free session with me to start that journey.

 

See you next week with another prescription for success.

Dr Bridget

The impact of your expectations is huge!

Expectations

Expectations

Expectations

I have Two Questions for you:

Are you someone that expects good things to happen or bad things?

Do you find that what you expect is what you get??

Here’s a task for you: – Have you ever thought about whether your mindset effects the outcomes of a task or situation? One day this week, I want you to really think about what outcomes you expect from each situation, be that good or bad, and then make a note of what you expected and what the outcomes to those situations are.

Whether your mind set is focused positively and you expect good outcomes, or negatively and you expect bad outcomes, is crucial to the results, and therefore has an effect on your enjoyment of life.

I recently had a client who made all of his decisions based on the “what ifs”, focusing on the negative outcomes that could happen and therefore tailoring his approach to them. This resulted in him only having outcomes that were sub-par to what he wanted to achieve. After meeting with me he began making decisions based on what he wanted to happen, the ‘what ifs’ seemed to be less relevant and he could then focus on the great expectations he had.

If you are preparing for the worst, chances are that you will end up stuck on that level – your mindset truly effects the outcomes.

Watch the video below where I talk about one of my 1st NLP Training participants and where she has reached her dream goals because of shift in how she views her expectations.

Perform the task mentioned at the beginning of this prescription and if you are always expecting the worst to happen and you’d like to take action on your mindset, give me a call on 01656 347027. Or click here to fill in a form for a FREE discovery consultation and I’ll get straight back to you.

As discussed in the video NLP training inspired Sharon to live her dream, if you would like to hear more from Sharon about her experience with NLP click here to watch and interview.

Until next time, take charge of what you want and expect to get it!!

Dr. Bridget