Can we be too busy?

are we too busy?Is it ok to be too busy?

The answer to this depends on the consequences of your busy life style. What I found during COVID is that I became too busy, this is because I changed my model of working to fit around the restrictions.

My husband told me just yesterday, “You’ve been really busy lately, I’ve hardly seen you.” That made me stop and think about whether I was okay about that, and whether I was happy missing out on everyday things that make life worth living.

I took some time to think, am I living my life how I want to live it? Am I taking time to reflect and grow? Am I too busy to stop and smell the roses?

Listen to this week’s video and reflect upon whether you are too busy and missing out on some things.

 

What I found during the pandemic is that I really missed out on the time I spent travelling to different networking events. I missed driving to my destinations, where I could forget about work and focus on the road. I found that because I was home all the time my day wasn’t being broken up and time was passing super quickly, the day passed in the blink of an eye and this was because I was too busy with work.

What I want to ask you is, what are the non-negotiables in your life that you can measure against to see if you are “too busy”.

Everyone has different priorities in their life, so have a think, what are your non-negotiables and what do you feel you are missing?

It could be anything from reading a book, going for a walk, whatever it is you feel you have been too busy to do. Make a list of everything you regard as your non-negotiables. Then, create a time audit of everything you do in a typical day of your life, and then work out do you have time for these non-negotiables?  So if you can’t fit your non-negotiables in then make some changes.

If you are struggling to make the changes and would like some help with this? let me know. You can fill in the contact form here, or book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me

See you next week

Dr Bridget – clearing your thinking

 

What to do about Overthinking

Overthinking – How to change the channel

Overthinking

Overthinking is very common and can be an issue which causes mental health challenges, lack of sleep and it also stops us from solving problems. I always  remember the time, a couple of years ago, when I was standing in the kitchen with so many things going on in my head and it kept me rooted to the ground and stuck! That was a physical manifestation of over thinking. It lead to procrastination and stopped me from sleeping.

Have a watch of the video below, and then read about the ways to stop the overthinking and change the channel, to one of a peaceful and focused mind


These are the main ways that I use and teach my clients to use:

  1. Notice all of the chatter- rather than just keeping overthinking. Become aware of it when it happens.
  2. Focus on solving the problem – use time management and productivity tools like the pomodora technique. Plan your month, week, day and hours. Write lists and prioritise. Journaling helps.
  3. Challenge the beliefs  you have that may not be true. If you think “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do that”, you may be wrong and it may be a result of past programming and protecting yourself from past hurts.
  4. Schedule time for reflection. So journaling, meditation, mindfulness are very useful.
  5. Time Line Therapy (R) is an American Board of NLP technique which is extremely effective and removes major negative emotions and any limiting beliefs from your thinking. It’s amazing how effective this is and how the overthinking simply stops leaving you room to live your life to your full potential, Ask me for more information.

If you are struggling, let me know. You can fill in the contact form here, or book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me

See you next week

Dr Bridget – clearing your thinking

 

Comfort Zones – Are they Good or Bad?

Comfort Zones Is it good to be stuck in our ‘Comfort Zones?’

It’s common to hear in the business world, “I really need to get out of my comfort zone, I’m aspiring towards my goals and to get there I need to get out of my comfort zone.”

Recently I was way out of mine and I noticed something very interesting.

I had employed someone to set up some systems and admin for me and then out of the blue that person left and handed all the work back to me. At the time I thought, “I could learn to do this, maybe I could manage this by myself.”  In all honesty I probably could have done it but I didn’t consider the extra work from a time perspective. Suddenly, my work balance went completely Kaput!

People have different ‘brick walls’ where you can see the end result and you just can’t get there. I found that I couldn’t cope and I became uncomfortable, I was completely out of my comfort zone.  So what I did was I returned to where I felt comfortable, and I thought “phew, blimey that’s better.”

Watch this week’s video to find more about the benefits of being in your comfort zones.

It’s hard for people to see at times that being in your comfort zone is not a bad thing. It is okay to be comfortable. When you’re in your comfort zone you are more self aware and it’s easier to know what’s going on inside your head. You know what to expect and you can recognise your capabilities in a stress free environment.

I’m all for people reaching their full potential and expanding and growing, but if you want success you don’t have to throw yourself completely out of your comfort zone.

You can do it gradually, increase the difficulty slowly and when it becomes too much too soon, just slowly take a step back, do things differently or even repeat things. Find out what works for you at your own pace it’s a gradual process there is no need to rush.

Sometimes you can have goals and aspirations that are reachable, but if you rush in you can get stuck. Take your time on your journey, plan your route to suit you!

If you are currently stuck get in touch and you can talk to me about comfort zones and how past decisions have helped form your comfort zone. I can also help you to gradually leave your zone at your own pace.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you grow at the pace that suits you and that you are happy with.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

How Clutter Affects Our Mindset

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect people’s mindset?

Last week we were talking about loops and I said that I was an ideas person, which means I have a lot of open loops with ongoing projects that I’ve started but never got around to finishing. This often resulted in lots of clutter as there is so much going on an any one time.

I’ve noticed when I’ve seen people on zoom that I’m not the only one with lots of clutter around me. But I’m just wondering how does this affect people’s mindset?

If there is too much to process visually in our environment then maybe that decreases our motivation because we don’t know where to look for things. Alternatively maybe it increases your motivation because you then need a plan to sort it out and start again. Or, maybe you are ok with clutter.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about how clutter affects you.

I thought about this in terms of the neurological levels of change. This is an NLP Model that has come from Gregory Bates and been adapted by Robert Dilts. It states that we can experience change at a variety of levels and that changing at a higher level within the hierarchy can create a more meaningful change. The levels each have an effect on the others and are:

PURPOSE

IDENTITY

VALUES AND BELIEFS

CAPABILITY AND SKILLS

BEHAVIOUR

ENVIRONMENT

  • When it comes to our environment if we have a lot of clutter around then does that affect our behaviour?
  • Does it affect out ability to use our skills in our business?
  • Is it associated with negative beliefs?
    • Have I labelled myself as someone who is just generally untidy?
    • Do I have negative beliefs that I’ll never get sorted?
  • Is it interfering with my values? – For example, if someone has a value of freedom and they are constantly surrounded by clutter does that affect their ability to tick their values?
  • In terms of our identity we may then just think that it’s just the way we are which is not useful and maybe it stops us reaching our purpose as well

Doing this blog has definitely caused me to give myself a good talking to,  to get rid of the clutter.  Often, this just means moving the clutter to an alternative space so that I can start again with a new plan and a new loop of being perfectly organised. And that will allow me to live my purpose of enjoying every minute of every day.

So have a think – does clutter exist in your life and what affect does it have on your mindset, behaviour, values, beliefs, identity or your purpose?

If it’s your mindset that is getting in the way and stopping you get organised, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be and do what you want to do to stay in line with your purpose.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- sweating the small stuff to enjoy every moment.

Using Loops – Good or Bad?

Using Loops

Do you use loops?

Do you use loops? – Is it good or bad for us?

I got out of bed this morning and went across the corridor to my office, walked through the door and looked around and thought, “Oh my God.”

So what is a loop?  In any sort of training we use what we call loops it’s when you open something. It could be the opening of a sentence, a bit of story like I’ve just done or even a project, then at some other time we close them.

The reason this works well in any sort of training is that the unconscious mind is really focused on the incomplete sentence, story or project and recognises that it needs finishing. It’s called the Zeigarnik effect where we start something and plan to finish it a bit later.

So are loops good or bad?

The brain likes an open loop because it’s looking for closure – there is always more. However, if we close a loop we then lose that motivation because there is nothing for our mind to focus on. Alternatively, if we don’t close the loops then there is no space to open new ones and that affects our motivation because we have lots of clutter in our thinking.

Watch the video and then have a think about the activity below:

Try this out, you’ll be surprised what you’ll find.

  1. Make a list of your open loops.
  2. Make a list of your open loops that need closing.
  3. Make a list of your closed loops that need opening.
  4. Make of  list of any new loops that you want to open.

Have a think about your loops and how you are using them and what you need to do about them.

I realised whilst doing this blog that  I am an opener of loops rather than a closer. I have lots of loops open, lots of projects and some of them are appropriate and some are not. I’m an ideas person so there are lots of open loops and nothing is closed which leads to clutter both physically and in my head which isn’t always very good for organisation or motivation – we’ll discuss this next week.

“Oh my God,” I thought, I really don’t know what’s where, some things are organised and some are not, there are lots of things I need to do, lots of things to sort out. In the end I just picked everything up and put it in the spare room and started again. I closed the loop so I could have space to open another or work on a loop already open.  I know there will come a time when I’ll need to reopen that loop again but that’s for another day!

If you have an loops that you are having difficulty with whether it’s closing, opening or even reopening them, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- looping the loop.

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

How to Deal with Overwhelm

How to deal with overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm is defined as “a very large thing that  happens to you” – either positive or negative. Mainly I see a lot of people in business,including myself, who feel as though they are struggling to do everything and therefore get stuck – often physically.

One of my clients saw me the other day – she was looking wobbly! She had done really well and then things started to happen around her that had caused the wobble.

  • Relationships had become “tricky”
  • Paper work has started to build up
  • Work had changed and got more busy and she was having to do more, and was unhappy with this and unable to resolve it.

It really came down to “Not being in control”.

She hadn’t talked to people that she needed to, hadn’t been firm with work and had just got stuck which meant that the paper work had started to build up and was overflowing all around the house.

Watch the video below and then have a think about whether you are in control and whether this leads to overwhelm for you.

When we talked through what she need to do to regain control and stop feeling the way that she did, her father popped into her mind. He had always been controlled by her mother and hadn’t really done what he wanted to do and she felt as though she was doing much the same and had lost control. Sometimes, you get so overwhelmed, it is difficult to see where the solution lies.

When you are overwhelmed , it often appears that you have far too much to do, but when you start to break it down, this is often not the case.

It’s about taking a step back and writing down the things that you need to be done, and then putting them in order of priority and making a list. And then just starting. The list, then, is the way that you can control your life and stop the overwhelm.

So my client decided to talk to the people who she felt were controlling her and also to spend 1/2 hour a day getting rid of the paper work and putting systems in place so that she didnt’ get overwhelmed again. A list emerged! It fel as though a weight had been lifted and she bounced out of my office and started to make some calls on the way home.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, decide how to take control back and make a list. And, if you are still feeling as though  you can’t take control for any reason, get in touch and book a free session with me to explore the reasons.

Life is too short to get “stressed”

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to live your life the way that you want to.