What does personal growth mean?
I’m really passionate about personal growth and I’m always really curious about what enables people to grow, and what enables me to grow (as I’m always growing).
So I thought that in this week’s Prescription for Success I’d talk about what personal growth means and consider some key components of personal growth. Watch the video and have a think about your own personal growth.
I think it’s about your knowledge, your skills and competency in a particular area of your life. Maybe in an area where you want to be able to think and feel and grow to be really excellent to get the results that you want in your life.
There are certain components to this. In my view there’s:
- Self-awareness – is about being aware of your own qualities and other people’s qualities so that you are in control.
- Self-confidence -is being aware of your strengths and weaknesses so you can do whatever you want to do and reach your goals.
- Self-love – is your ability to take care of yourself and to love yourself which gives you a feeling of self-worth.
- Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself on the journey as you are now. I always think of personal growth as a journey and whether you think you’ve got there or you are on the way, you can accept yourself for where you are and take some lessons as things happen.
- Self-compassion – is when you take care of yourself no matter what happens – so be compassionate if you make a mistake or other people think you make a mistake and just say to yourself “that’s fine”. Say “I’m on the journey of personal growth and I’ll learn from that”
- Self-reliance – That’s being able to rely on yourself and not be dependent on other people and be at cause (in charge of your feelings and decisions).
So that to me is what personal growth is.
If you are struggling with this then get in touch because I do a free half-hour where we can have a chat about any of those things that you want to improve. In particular, my NLP course is all about gaining excellence and being the person you want to be so be sure to get in touch.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – growing each day and loving it.
How to Increase Your Consciousness
This is something that I’ve becoming increasingly aware of especially during the pandemic where I’ve had time to become more aware of my thought processes and what’s going on around me.
It really does feel good to have an increased consciousness – in this week’s Prescription for Success I give you 4 steps to increase your consciousness – watch the video and try the steps for yourself.
A definition of consciousness is an individual’s state of awareness of their environment, their thoughts, their feelings or their sensations. This is a bit of a broad statement but there are people who are not aware of this. They just do what they do on a day to day basis and they don’t think about what’s going on in their head or their body. However, if you have a high state of consciousness then you can start to change your reality and the world.
4 steps to increase your consciousness
- Awaken – which is about pausing, being quiet and noticing what’s going on in your surroundings and in your body.
- Mindfully – to live mindfully which is about paying attention to things that happen. It’s about having a purpose for noticing things, being present having no judgements and taking no action.
- Intention – so set an intention of who you want to be rather than what you are going to do.
- Acting Consciously – when you act consciously you have that intention to make a positive impact and do your best for the world rather than just yourself.
So if you want to increase your consciousness try these four steps.
If you find anything that is getting in the way and is stopping you taking these steps or you have beliefs or values that make this quite difficult then get in touch with me and we can sort this out so that you can make more difference to the world and yourself.
So that’s me – living consciously
P.S. I’m running an NLP course in November from the 5-8th plus 26-29th – a great way to get to know yourself and increase your confidence in working with others. Here’s a link to the course information where you can also download a brochure for dates and prices.
Why is Consistency Important?
Hi. I expect you’ve noticed that if you aren’t consistent in your behaviour or what you say, then you get different results. This may well be fine, however- there are certain situations where consistency is important.
I’ve used a dog training example in this video and it equally applies to our business results and results in life and relationships.
For example, if we do social media, then it’s more effective to be consistent with your posts and videos and communication as it gets people to know who you are and expect you to show up on a regular basis.
Watch the video and let me know what you think.
So, I’ve been taught that shouting for my dog by his name and then rewarding him works really well as you’ve seen. I get frustrated by my husband who will the shout “come on” and then may be the name and then whistle and forget to reward him when he works out what’s expected. No consistency!
My question to you, is:
How consistent are you in repeating things that you know works – that’s in your business, in your life, in your career or in a relationship?
Be honest- give yourself a score on the scale of 0-10 where 0 is “I’m a nightmare, I’m not consistent at all to 10, which is, I’m wonderful, I do everything consistently and it works.
How would it be if you could choose one area to improve your consistency in and monitor the results?
Let me know if you need any help – I do a free session to look at what’s happening and what I can help you change to become consistent – There’s usually a root cause!
Until next week
Dr Bridget, putting out a blog every week for your benefit
How do You Maintain Your Boundaries?
Hi – This prescription is something that I talk to my 1:1 clients about and those on my courses. This is because you can be in a really positive place and then something will lower your mood and undo all of the personal development that you have undertaken. And it’s important for you to consider boundaries as well!
First you need to know what a boundary is. A boundary is something that stops you from feeling positive and stops you from going where you are going. It can either be a person or an environment or something that you see on social media or the news. Maybe watching politics or disasters on the news or going to a networking event where you feel uncomfortable could be a boundary. I also know that there are people who suck my energy out of me- I call them mood hoovers- and they are boundaries for me.
Watch the video and then read under the video to decide what your boundaries are and how to keep them.
- What are your boundaries?
- If you don’t know, make a list
- Notice when you feel glum or your mood lowers
- Let people know what your boundaries are.
- Let go of the fear about telling people and if you can’t maybe they are a boundary.
Let me know if you can’t put a boundary in or can’t tell people about them as there is a liklehood that they will stop you achieving what you want to achieve. And at some stage in the future you will wish you had been firmer and put thoat boundary in.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – helping you to get where you want.
P.S We are now booking for the next NLP courses whcih are in 3 months time
5 NLP Principles for Success
Many people have read articles about principles for success and take actions as a result. These are somewhat different and are NLP Principles for Success. They are taught on the NLP Practitioner courses that I run and are key to becoming succesful – whatever that means for you. There are 5 principles.
Watch the video and then read about them below
Here are the 5 principles:
- Knowing your outcome. If you don’t have this knowledge of what you want- your goals- you won’t know where you are heading, what you will see, hear and feel when you get there and what evidence you will need to know that you’ve arrived.
- Taking Action. Even if you have a clear goal, sometimes it will be difficult to take the action and you may start procrastinating. This is usually because of Negative Beliefs that have come from Decisions that you have made in the past and also maybe some negative emotions. Often people get really anxious and simply taking action stops the anxiety.
- Sensory Acuity. This is about noticing microchanges in yourself and other people. Perhaps you notice yourself getting hot or cold? Or that your stature changes – becoming more upright or otherwise. Maybe you notice a feeling in your stomach of tension or notice that your breathing has changed in some way. Becoming aware of this can give you a lot of information about your bodies reaction to what you are thinking or feeling. It is often part of what we call your gut reaction or your intuition.
- Behavioural flexibility. Notice your behaviour and the results that it gets you. NLP gives you many different tools to change habitual behaviour and to change what is not working for you. After all, the meaning of your behaviour behaviour is the results that you get rather than what you thought you would get. Also the meaning of your communication is the result that you get and therefore you need to be fleible with both to get what you want.
- Operate from a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. A psychology of excellence means that you are fully aligned with your outcomes and with your values and beliefs. You will have no internal negative chatter and will be heading towards where you want to go. A physiology of excellence is equally important. Whatever you do with your body affects your moods and vice versa. Take care of yourself. Anything you do that affects your physiology needs to be empowering. Eat well, move well and notice when anything needs attention.
If you are doing all those things you will get your goals and be empowered and be happy and fulfilled.
If you aren’t doing these things and have tried and not managed to, book an appointment with me. I do a free 1/2 hour session to enable you to put these 5 principles into action
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – giving you a high five!
Other People’s Stuff
I was in a networking group the other day and a former client, who is in a really good head space, was talking about how she needed to expand her business. People gave their views and advice and – possibly a mind read – this left the person feeling a bit bemused and I don’t think it really fitted with what she felt she needed. It didn’t fit with her Model of the World.
This person was an example of being in a place where they were happy and content and had plans which they know they were are going to achieve, and were then being gifted other people’s beliefs and priorities – their stuff. I didn’t talk to her about it but did say generally that sometimes we need to make our own decisions about what works best for us. Watch the video below and reflect on what I am saying:
People want to help and that’s brilliant. They have their own rules, judgements and values and think of it as a gift and, here’s the thing – you can either accept the gift but you don’t have to accept it.
Everyone has a different model of the world – here’s an interesting video of how that happens – and sometimes we just need to stick to what is working for us. Our emotional energy can be lowered by what other people say and if that happens a lot, then it would be good to put some boundaries in. I call these people mood hoovers – you know who they are.
REMEMBER – if your Model of the World, your behaviours and the results that you get, work for you, then carry on and enjoy the results!
If you are having wobbles as a result of other people’s perspectives and you want to instead be in charge of your own life and your results let me know. Often people feel that they can’t get there on their own – I’m known as the Chief Unsticker, and I can help.
Book an appointment with me for a free chat or fill in the form on my web site and lets have a chat about it – I probably have the answer for you.
People become in charge of their life by working with me in a variety of ways so have a look at my web site and discover the possibilities. I’ve listed them below:
- Breakthrough 1:1 Coaching
- NLP training courses
- My Mastermind group called STRETCH
- My One Step Closer face Book Group
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – supporting you to be in charge of your life
Reasons to Avoid Negativity
For a change I thought I’d base this blog on a typical client’s challenge. This person is one of many who come and see me in order to move on in their life and get “success” – whatever that means to them. This client thought that they were positive but they weren’t getting success and when we went into the details, actually they had a lot of negativity from things in the past which they had suppressed. So they were telling themselves that they were positive and ignoring the little voice inside that said – “yes – but…..”
They were bored and procrastinating due to a fear which we uncovered and then removed.
There had been trauma with relationships, bullying and other incidents which had led to them self sabotaging and not effectively running a business which meant a lot to them. Their values (motivators) were all about moving away from what they didn’t want rather than towards what they didn’t want. Their top value was peace when we elicited them and this was because they didn’t want conflict. The second one was Self – Belief which was because they felt not good enough and was avoiding that thought.
Watch the video below to get some more insights and I’ll give you access to a free tool below to discover your values so that you can reflect on yours.
So this person’s limiting beliefs were:
- I’m not good enough
- I won’t be respected
- I can’t do what I want
- Life would be worse if I am successful
And they got stuck- not surprisingly.
So we removed all of the beliefs, plus some associated ones, using NLP and Time Line Therapy and my Breakthrough process and they became very excited by life!
If you have things that are keeping you from going for what you want, book a free appointment and let’s get you excited as well.
Important : You can get even more tools by joining my STRETCH on-line mastermind group for Business Success – check it out here. Its a rapidly growing and empowering group with great feedback. It’s half price until the end of January 2019.
Until next week
Dr Bridget – Getting You Excited
Really Understanding Goal Setting
We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.
The important things to consider as you write your goal are:
- Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the 1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
- Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
- Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
- Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
- Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
- Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
- Make sure that it increases choice for you
- Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.
And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?
I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal
So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.
If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.
Until next week- Make this your best year yet!
Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease
What is your “Story”
We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.
As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.
So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?
Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?
Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t. Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.
How to change your story
- Read the e-book
- Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
- Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
- If you can’t find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.
Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!
Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story
Role Models – A Different Perspective
I was recently running an NLP Master Practitioner course and we were talking about modelling – this is where NLP has come from – Modelling excellence. Its a key part of the course. Click here for more information about NLP courses
We do a project on my Master Practitioner course where we model a skill that someone has, by eliciting that person’s values, beliefs and strategies and then installing these in ourself – a much quicker way of effecting change than being taught.
Unusually, people on the course were struggling with who to have as a Role Model and I had to agree – I don’t really have one myself (apart from Princess Di). I spent some time wondering who I respected enough to want to change to become like them.
And then I had a light bulb moment – I thought that perhaps I could become my own Role Model and become one for other people. It led to a consideration of what qualities I would like to have that other people and myself might respect- have a watch of the video and then answer the questions below it for yourself.
The qualities that I’d like to improve or develop in myself are:
- Having an interest in people and things- doing pretty well with this
- Making a difference to people- definitely something that’s key for me and I am doing that
- Being myself, which includes making sure I “tick” my values, keep my boundaries, as and the same time, be flexible to enable other people’s models of the world- I’m mainly doing this
- Taking action and being determined- doing this most of the time
- Self care – important in my journey through this life and something that I’ve been working on this year
Next year, I want to improve my capability to ask for help – I think this is part of self-care and not something that comes easily to me. It would make a huge difference to my life and a behaviour that I encourage in my clients – so I’m committing to do that. It will make me a better Role Model
Questions for you:
- What qualities would you look for in yourself, to be your own and others’ Role Model?
- What would you change to get these (if anything) ?
- Is it OK to be a Role Model for yourself and others?
Once you have decided whether you need to change anything, post in the comments, and as always, let me know here if you need to talk through anything.
Until next week
Dr Bridget – being the best Role Model I can be.
Do you know what your values are?
This is a bit of personal story this week with a strong message for anyone that is having a wobble in their business, career or relationships. Sometimes things happen to us and we have to pick up the pieces and move forwards. Having done a lot of work on what makes me me, I know that my top values for my business are :
- Self care
- Making a difference
So when things fell apart, I picked myself up because, afterall, I am pretty determined. But I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be and I think that was because I wasn’t really ticking my values before the event. I don’t think I was having fun and certainly not really looking after myself and therefore wasn’t really making as much of a difference as I would like to have done. So may be the event did me a favour because I am now free to really make a difference and have fun at the same time – Determinedly moving on!
So what are values?
They are our internal drivers that are mainly unconscious. They are in place usually by the age of 7 – our core values – and come from our parents, teachers and people around us. I don’t know if you know, but we don’t really have a conscious mind until then – we soak up everything and don’t really consciously consider things. For example, if you have a 5 year old and tell them that there is a dragon outside the door selling icecream, they will probably believe you and go and have a look.
They are the things that are important to you and you are probably aware of them consciously and maybe not all of them unless you elicit them.
Have a look at the video below and the downoad the values elicitation workbook below it.
You may think that you know what your values are, but every time I help someone elicit theirs, they are surprised. So download the workbook and let me know what they are and whether they are working for you or not.
If you want to talk to me about what you find or help in doing the exercise, book a free appointment to find out how I can help
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – motivated to help you at all times