Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Goal Setting

Goal

We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.

The important things to consider as you write your goal are:

  • Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the  1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
  • Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
  • Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
  • Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
  • Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
  • Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
  • Make sure that it increases choice for you
  • Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.

And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?

I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting  – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal

So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.

If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.

Until next week- Make this your best year yet!

Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease

Story

Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

How Your Values Help You in Times of Adversity

Do you know what your values are?

ValuesThis is a bit of personal story this week with a strong message for anyone that is having a wobble in their business, career or relationships. Sometimes things happen to us and we have to pick up the pieces and move forwards. Having done a lot of work on what makes me me, I know that my top values for my business are :

  1. Determination
  2. Self care
  3. Fun
  4. Making a difference

So when things fell apart, I picked myself up because, afterall, I am pretty determined. But I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be and I think that was because I wasn’t really ticking my values before the event. I don’t think I was having fun and certainly not really looking after myself and therefore wasn’t really making as much of a difference as I would like to have done. So may be the event did me a favour because I am now free to really make a difference and have fun at the same time – Determinedly moving on!

So what are values?

They are our internal drivers that are mainly unconscious. They are in place usually by the age of 7 – our core values – and come from our parents, teachers and people around us. I don’t know if you know, but we don’t really have a conscious mind until then – we soak up everything and don’t really consciously consider things. For example, if you have a 5 year old and tell them that there is a dragon outside the door selling icecream, they will probably believe you and go and have a look.

They are the things that are important to you and you are probably aware of them consciously and maybe not all of them unless  you elicit them.

Have a look at the video below and the downoad the values elicitation workbook below it.

You may think that you know what your values are, but every time I help someone elicit theirs, they are surprised. So download the workbook and let me know what they are and whether they are working for you or not.

If you want to talk to me about what you find or help in doing the exercise, book a free appointment to find out how I can help

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – motivated to help you at all times

 

 

 

Overwhelm

How to Deal with Overwhelm

How to deal with overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm is defined as “a very large thing that  happens to you” – either positive or negative. Mainly I see a lot of people in business,including myself, who feel as though they are struggling to do everything and therefore get stuck – often physically.

One of my clients saw me the other day – she was looking wobbly! She had done really well and then things started to happen around her that had caused the wobble.

  • Relationships had become “tricky”
  • Paper work has started to build up
  • Work had changed and got more busy and she was having to do more, and was unhappy with this and unable to resolve it.

It really came down to “Not being in control”.

She hadn’t talked to people that she needed to, hadn’t been firm with work and had just got stuck which meant that the paper work had started to build up and was overflowing all around the house.

Watch the video below and then have a think about whether you are in control and whether this leads to overwhelm for you.

When we talked through what she need to do to regain control and stop feeling the way that she did, her father popped into her mind. He had always been controlled by her mother and hadn’t really done what he wanted to do and she felt as though she was doing much the same and had lost control. Sometimes, you get so overwhelmed, it is difficult to see where the solution lies.

When you are overwhelmed , it often appears that you have far too much to do, but when you start to break it down, this is often not the case.

It’s about taking a step back and writing down the things that you need to be done, and then putting them in order of priority and making a list. And then just starting. The list, then, is the way that you can control your life and stop the overwhelm.

So my client decided to talk to the people who she felt were controlling her and also to spend 1/2 hour a day getting rid of the paper work and putting systems in place so that she didnt’ get overwhelmed again. A list emerged! It fel as though a weight had been lifted and she bounced out of my office and started to make some calls on the way home.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, decide how to take control back and make a list. And, if you are still feeling as though  you can’t take control for any reason, get in touch and book a free session with me to explore the reasons.

Life is too short to get “stressed”

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to live your life the way that you want to.

Sysytem

Where are you in the Molehill System?

Have I lost the plot? Mole hills?

Sysytem

Mole hill

OK- so I’m known for being a bit different and even odd (nicely odd) at times! I was filming some prescriptions for success in my garden recently and noticed there were lots of mole hills – which is slightly frustrating as I thought they had moved over to the park on the other side of the river. Anyway, I like to take opportunities to film something a bit different and it got me thinking – “What is the purpose of a mole hill?” So I looked it up and apparently, moles have a system of tunnels, which I guess I already knew, and  the reason for making a  mole hill is that when it rains, all of the moles’ food (worms and such like) goes to the surface and they end up having to also come to the surface in order to survive. Thats really interesting and has made me more tolerant of the mole hills. And I thought – maybe this could be looked at as a metaphor for ourselves.

Maybe, we can bury ourselves underground and feel safe and secure but sometimes we need to poke our head up above  our comfort system in order to survive and thrive. I wonder if moles feel uncomfortable doing this? I have a cat who has bought moles into the house and can be seen sitting by a mole hill listening intently for any movement.

Have a watch of my video below and ask yourself the questions underneath.

Ok – so not my best video but it does raise some questions:

  • Should I stay subscribed to this web site? Thats not a serious question by the way- of course you will – lots of new things coming soon!
  • Where are you at your most comfortable – in your tunnel system or poking your head out of your comfortable place in order to survive?
  • Do you have a system that you function best in or do you need to find one where you can stay comfortable and survive and thrive?

If you would like a chat to me, either to tell me that was a bit weird or to get some help in surviving and thriving, click here

I also have 2 places left on my NLP Practitioner Course in January – find out more here – it gives you a system to grow and become totally excellent rather than getting stuck in tunnels

Until next week, happy digging

Dr Bridget