Can we Change Negative Beliefs? Here are Some Tips and why we have them.

Can we change negative beliefs? Here are some tips and why we have them.

 

Beliefs

Beliefs aren’t real

I’m really annoyed with myself when I think back. I  used to think that “no-one was on my side” and that came from a decision that I made many moons ago. Something happened and I decided that I was on my own. So, as we do, my brain focused on that decision. It became a belief and created my “reality” and I never noticed when anyone was there for me.

Here’s the explanation for what is happening: There are at least two million pieces of information of raw, unlabelled data that come into our senses. Things that we hear, things that we see and things that we touch. And we have a great filtering system so that we can reduce this amount of information to a manageable amount – about 7 bits of information per second. One of the filters that we use is the decisions that we make in a split second. These then become beliefs and cause us to believe that whatever we decided is the truth. We delete any things that are positive such as “people are there to support me”.

Watch the video below and then have a think about the questions below the video

So, I’d like to ask you what decisions have you made that create your beliefs and your reality? AND, if you decided to look for evidence that the opposite is true, would that be helpful? Could you form new beliefs and therefore have a more positive life?

Give it a go and become more aware of how you have created your reality and look for evidence of what you want and let me know if you’d like to have some help to change your beliefs to positive ones.

If you are interested in learning more about other techniques to help yourself or others to change a negative belief into a positive belief take a look at my NLP Certified Practitioner training as we have a section where we learn how to do just that using submodalities. My trainees learn and perform this technique on the course and the results are extraordinary in some cases some people having a negative belief for many years is changed to something positive in around 20 minutes!

If you want to change a negative belief get in touch with me to apply for a free 30-minute consultation HERE

Check out one of my other blogs What To Do When Your Have Limiting Beliefs About Money

Until next time,

Dr Bridget

Why should we set goals? Here’s why, how and a worksheet to help.

Why should we set goals?

Setting Goals

Setting Goals

One of the things I do early on in my NLP Certified Practitioner training is to have everyone set their goal and understand some of the things that are essential for creating a compelling goal.  People who have completed the course often feedback that setting their goal is one of their favourite parts of the early training as it really gives them a sense of where they are going.

It’s about making sure that you have all your brain focused on the positives that you really want, this is much more effective than simply setting the old fashioned SMART goals. And the truth is, you can use these things and set goals every month, every week and every day and hour if you want to.

Watch the video below and start to set goals using the three things I discuss – I’ve also attached a pdf below the video which you can use to set your goals.

Here are the top 3 tips with a bit more of an explanation and the pdf with examples and space to write your own.

FREE PDF: 3 Must Do’s for Compelling goal setting

1.  Make sure that you write down what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Remember that what you focus on is what you get, so if you focus on what you don’t want, that’s what you will get. Also, make it about your whole life and make sure that you can act as if you already have it. If you can’t do this, then go back over your goals and ask yourself why not. Maybe you have some doubts?

2. Write down your sensory evidence for getting the goal. What will you see around you, hear and feel when you have this outcome

3. Write down when you want it, where you want it, how you are going to get it and who you want it with. Remember that all goals that are for you need to be under your control and you can get them without relying on someone else.

If you have any doubts or have set goals and never achieved them, give me a call apply for a free consultation and get some pointers. You can also fill in a form here and I will get in touch as soon as I can.

Remember, if you set compelling goals, you are likely to achieve them and if you don’t you probably won’t. If you’d like to learn more about setting goals and want to develop yourself personally and get great skills to use with teams, clients (and family) then you can become an NLP Practitioner.

If you want more help with your goals please check out How to make sure you get your goals – Part 1 to get started.

Till next time, happy goal setting

Dr Bridget

How to Make your Unconscious Behaviours Conscious

Unconscious behaviours

Unconscious behaviours

Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.

Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously

Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:

 Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:

  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Doubt
  • Hiding
  • Distracting

And many more

In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.

  • List everything  (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
  • Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
  • Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
  • Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
  • Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening

If you have anything going on in  your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind

Why is Consistency Important?

Why is Consistency Important?

Hi. I expect you’ve noticed that if you aren’t consistent in your behaviour or what you say, then you get different results. This may well be fine, however- there are certain situations where consistency is important.

I’ve used a dog training example in this video and it equally applies to our business results and results in life and relationships.

For example, if we do social media, then it’s more effective to be consistent with your posts and videos and communication as it gets people to know who you are and expect you to show up on a regular basis.

Watch the video and let me know what you think.

So, I’ve been taught that shouting for my dog by his name and then rewarding him works really well as you’ve seen. I get frustrated by my husband who will the shout “come on” and then may be the name and then whistle and forget to reward him when he works out what’s expected. No consistency!

My question to you, is:

How consistent are you in repeating things that you know works – that’s in your business, in your life, in your career or in a relationship?

Be honest- give yourself a score on the scale of 0-10 where 0 is “I’m a nightmare, I’m not consistent at all to 10, which is, I’m wonderful, I do everything consistently and it works.

How would it be if you could choose one area to improve your consistency in and monitor the results?

Let me know if you need any help – I do a free session to look at what’s happening and what I can help you change to become consistent – There’s usually a root cause!

Until next week

Dr Bridget, putting out a blog every week for your benefit

Using Your Brain to Change your Internal Picture

Changing your Internal Picture using your Brain

Brain

Using your brain

Hello!

We create our reality from the vast amount of information that comes into our senses using filters and end up with an internal picture of what’s going on. The filters include our experiences and memories, our values and our beliefs amongst other things.  The resulting picture consists of things that are visual auditory and kinaesthetic (feelings) mainly. This “picture” creates our emotional state, changes our physiology and creates behaviours and therefore results. And this is sometimes useful and sometimes not.

I recently had a client who felt very angry in a specific situation and couldn’t get past that anger and when I asked her where the picture was – it was right in front of her, so no wonder she couldn’t get past it. Our brain has created that picture and store it unconsciously and therefore can easily change that picture by changing the components of the picture.

Have a watch of the video and then follow the instructions below in the blog to change any picture you have in your head that is unhelpful.

So there are a couple of things you can do to change the picture – well there are many – but I’m going to give you a couple:

  1. With the lady with the anger, I sent her a set of comic angry people which made her laugh and she decided to use one of those pictures instead of the one she had created.
  2. I ask this question – it’s a very specific one. “When you think of that situation or person, do you have a picture?” Precise wording is important. My client said it was straight in front of her. I then asked her to move that picture to the left hand side of her. Her emotional state changed when she did that becuse the  meaning of the picture had changed because the location had changed. You can also “throw” the picture behind your body. Your unconscious mind then cannot see the picture and therefore again the state changes

So next time when you have a picture in your head that is unuseful or bothers you say to yourself:

“When  you think about the person or situation – do you have a picture?”

Then put your hand where it is and move picture to left hand side – no picture will be there when  you think about it then. Or throw picture behing you – it’s then not there.

This is an easy way to reduce negative emotions and it may be useful for you in getting your goals if there are things stopping you.

If it doesn’t help, contact me to let me know.

These skills are taught on my NLP courses and in 1:1 coaching so have a look at the options and let me know if you want to start the conversation.

Til next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you use your brain to change your life!

5 NLP Principles for Success

5 NLP Principles for Success

NLP

Success

Many people have read articles about principles for success and take actions as a result.  These are somewhat different and are NLP Principles for Success. They are taught on the NLP Practitioner courses that I run and are key to becoming succesful – whatever that means for you. There are 5 principles.

Watch the video and then read about them below


Here are the 5 principles:

  1. Knowing your outcome. If you don’t have this knowledge of what you want- your goals- you won’t know where you are heading, what you will see, hear and feel when  you get there and what evidence you will need to know that you’ve arrived.
  2. Taking Action. Even if you have a clear goal, sometimes it will be difficult to take the action and you may start procrastinating. This is usually because of Negative Beliefs that have come from Decisions that  you have made in the past and also maybe some negative emotions. Often people get really anxious and simply taking action stops the anxiety.
  3. Sensory Acuity. This is about noticing microchanges in yourself and other people. Perhaps you notice yourself getting hot or cold? Or that your stature changes – becoming more upright or otherwise. Maybe you notice a feeling in your stomach of tension or notice that your breathing has changed in some way. Becoming aware  of this can give you a lot of information about your bodies reaction to what you are thinking or feeling. It is often part of what we call your gut reaction or your intuition.
  4. Behavioural flexibility. Notice your behaviour and the results that it gets you. NLP  gives you many different tools  to change habitual behaviour and to change what is not working for you. After all, the meaning of your behaviour behaviour is the results that you get rather than what you thought you would get. Also the meaning of your communication is the result that you get and therefore you need to be fleible with both to get what you want.
  5. Operate from a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. A psychology of excellence means that you are fully aligned with your outcomes and with your values and beliefs. You will have no internal negative chatter and will be heading towards where you want to go. A physiology of excellence is equally important. Whatever you do with your body affects your moods and vice versa. Take care of yourself. Anything you do that affects your physiology  needs to be empowering. Eat well, move well and notice when anything needs attention.

If you are doing all those things you will get your goals and be empowered and be happy and fulfilled.

If you aren’t doing these things and have tried and not managed to, book an appointment with me. I do a free 1/2 hour session to enable you to put these 5 principles into action

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you a high five!

Internal Conflict- What you Really Need to Know

Internal Conflict

Parts

Battle

I’ve been there and done this – I still remember sitting in my log cabin 9 years ago, wondering whether I was good enough or whether I wasn’t. And sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

Moving from being a respected GP to a Trainer and Coach was something that I thought would be easy – at a conscious level- but my unconscious mind had other ideas – “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? – DON’T BE SILLY!!!!!” was the constant shouty negative chatter.

There was a battle going on in my head!

And it’s something I help people with on a regular basis. Click here if you know this is you and want help.

The thing is, when you have a battle in your head, it means that you can’t focus, you can’t do what you want to do and therefore can’t get the results you want. Congratulations if you have overcome this, and if you haven’t you are not on your own.

Watch the video and then consider whether you have this conflict.

We call this conflict “Parts” in NLP terminology and you will hear people talking about part of me this and part of me that on a regular basis – they are torn.

Parts come from significant emotional events and form a part of your unconscious mind which has its own values, beliefs, opinions and behaviours which seem to conflict with the rest of the unconscious mind- hence causing a battle.

The part has a  boundary and NLP techniques can be used to get rid of this boundary and therefore the part disappears. Cool stuff eh! And it doesn’t take long and you end up with a lovely peaceful head with no battles.

So how would it be if you get rid of the conflict that may be causing issues in your business, your life, your health and your relationships? If that’s of interest to you, let’s have a chat – either 1:1 work or an NLP course will sort it out.

Also, if you are a coach and fancy being able to do this with your clients, you can come and learn these techniques on an NLP Practitioner course. Just let me know.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

The Importance of Uni-Tasking

The Importance of Uni-tasking

Uni-taskingHere are my thoughts on multi-tasking versus uni-tasking for your reflection. I work with a lot of people in business who think that multi-tasking is a skill and I am going to disagree as you will find out.

This morning, I had many things to do:

I did little bits of many things and  got overwhelmed and stuck – literally. “That’s no good for a Chief Unsticker” I thought, so I took a step back, got my planner out and made a list. Watch the video to find out what else I did.


Having decided what I needed to do and checked that all of my actions were getting me towards my goals, I started with a technique called the Pomodora  Technique. It’s come from cooking Italian tomatoes and the main points about it are that:

  • You do one thing at a time
  • Turn off distractions and set a timer
  • You do it for 20 minutes and then have a 2 minute break
  • You repeat this for 3 cycles and then have a longer break – say 1/2 hour

Then you repeat it.

I get loads done while I’m doing this – in fact I’m using it to write this blog!

Give it a go and if you find yourself becoming Overwhelmed and Stuck get in touch to have a chat with me – I do a free session for half an hour to find out what the problem is and work out what help you need.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – turning off overwhelm

P.S if you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind group, let me know – my next intake is in March for 5 people only

 

 

People Aren’t their Behaviour

People aren’t their behaviour

behaviour

Behaviours

This is so important for our relationships with people in our life and also for our relationship with ourself. It is so easy to look at someone’s behaviour and judge them or fall out with them without truly understanding what is going on for that person. It also applies to ourself as well – maybe we’ve behaved in a way that is unusual for us and we think ” I need to change that!”

Reasons for behaving in ways that cause judgement of others or concerns about our own behaviour are many. Here are just two of them:

  1. People can be in a highly emotionally charged state when they are hungry or thirsty or tired or in pain. This then makes their reality different to when they are calm and considered. So they may become very angry or sad or frightened much more easily in this state and any slight trigger will cause them to behave in a way we are not used to
  2. The way people’s thoughts and feelings have been wired by events in the past, their values or their beliefs. Decisions are made which become beliefs and cause a reality to exist that has consequences for people’s behaviours or their results.

I was talking to a client the other day who had a mistrust of people which he had decided as a result of a painful event in the past. This became something that he “looked out for” and which was having serious consequences.

The crunch point came when he was in a networking meeting with a friend and his friend said something. It took him right back to the original event where he had made the decision that he couldn’t trust people. The result was that he completely lost the plot and also lost his friend and the respect of other people in the room.

So he arrived in my office and asked for help. It was easy to sort out with a breakthrough process using Time Line Therapy (R).  And he recovered his friends and collegaues and started to trust people again very quickly.

So the things to learn from this are:

  1. People aren’t their behaviours- behaviours are not people’s identity
  2. People have different models of the world and are doing the best they can with their available resources.
  3. Judging people by their behaviours is unhelpful and can cause misunderstandings
  4. If you have a behaviour that you don’t like, get some help from me to manage your emotional states or change your wiring. It doesn’t take long.
  5. Watching people’s behaviours becomes interesting if you lose the judgement
  6. Working with Dr Bridget, either 1:1 or by taking an NLP Training, enables you to be in charge of your life

Until next week

Dr Bridget – finding people’s behaviours interesting

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Really Understanding Goal Setting

Goal Setting

Goal

We’ve all been there – we set goals at various times of the year and then expect them to miraculously happen and that’s because we haven’t set them properly. Your conscious mind sets goals but it is your unconscious mind that gets them and that’s really important because your unconscious mind is there to protect you and if it has any doubts or is unclear about the goal in any way, it’s not going to happen. Watch the video and then set a goal for yourself for this time next year.

The important things to consider as you write your goal are:

  • Projecting yourself into the future – your unconscious mind will think that it is real when you say “It’s the  1st February 2020 ( or whatever the date will be ) and I am ………..
  • Make the goal positive – what you want rather than what you don’t want
  • Make sure that you can start the goal and maintain it. If someone else is part of how you get your goal and they change their mind, you will not get your goal, so set a goal that is your part of it
  • Be specific – your unconscious mind is generally lazy and will be do the minimum if you don’t specify what you really want.
  • Involve all your senses – write down what you feel, what you see, what you hear and what you say to yourself when you have the goal
  • Make sure it is ecological – so is it OK in your world for you to have this goal? If I put that I was going to travel the world, then it would not be ecological because I like my home and want to be there.
  • Make sure that it increases choice for you
  • Make sure that is is a whole life goal – it includes all aspects of your life that are important to you.

And then every day ask yourself these 2 questions – What did I do yesterday to get my goal? and what will I do today to get my goal?

I’ve attached a pdf here – Goal setting  – which includes how to set a goal and also my most recent goal

So create a goal as soon as you can and if you have any difficulty doing that, either because you don’t understand the process, or you have doubts, get in touch and we can do a free 1/2 hour to find out how to overcome the blocks.

If you’d like to join my STRETCH mastermind to help you get these goals, have access to experts and accountability, the details are here.

Until next week- Make this your best year yet!

Dr Bridget – setting goals with ease

Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story