Is your “Story” Working for You

What is your “Story”

Hello.

Story

Your Story

We all have a “story” which is what we consider to be our reality. The things that we tell ourselves and the internal dialogue that goes on in our head. It consists of stories that have been passed down to us from our parents , their parents, our colleagues and friends. And once we are born, these start to influence us and we get our core beliefs and values in place – usually by the age of 7-10.

(I’ve written an e-book on this which you can get here)

As we go through life we add to our story and change our beliefs and values as things happen around us and in our world. Maybe things happen to you in school, in relationships, in work or in business and those things change your story. Watch the video below and have a think about the question below it.

So, as you think about it now, does your story work for you or not? Does it enable you to reach your goals, get our of your comfort zone, and get what you want in life? Or does it reduce your ability to do what you want to do, lower your mood and leave you feeling frustrated?

Does it affect your well- being? Anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt are all emotions that can keep us stuck and if we let go of them, then we can create a new story which works for us – after all, we only have one life, don’t we?

Write down any thoughts that you have about what is working for you and what isn’t.  Start a journal about this if you haven’t got one already and maybe have one page for what works and one for what doesn’t work. Then you can really reflect on it.

How to change your story

  • Read the e-book
  • Find some positive people that will help you have a positive story that you really want rather than people who lower your moods ( mood hoovers) and keep you stuck in an un-useful emotional state.
  • Set some compelling goals and take actions towards getting those
  • If  you can’t  find these people or can’t get your goals, get in touch so you get a story that you want – a new story that leaves you feeling motivated, happy and able to achieve anything.

Remember – you only have one life- let me help you get that right!

Dr Bridget – helping you re-write your story

How Your Values Help You in Times of Adversity

Do you know what your values are?

ValuesThis is a bit of personal story this week with a strong message for anyone that is having a wobble in their business, career or relationships. Sometimes things happen to us and we have to pick up the pieces and move forwards. Having done a lot of work on what makes me me, I know that my top values for my business are :

  1. Determination
  2. Self care
  3. Fun
  4. Making a difference

So when things fell apart, I picked myself up because, afterall, I am pretty determined. But I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be and I think that was because I wasn’t really ticking my values before the event. I don’t think I was having fun and certainly not really looking after myself and therefore wasn’t really making as much of a difference as I would like to have done. So may be the event did me a favour because I am now free to really make a difference and have fun at the same time – Determinedly moving on!

So what are values?

They are our internal drivers that are mainly unconscious. They are in place usually by the age of 7 – our core values – and come from our parents, teachers and people around us. I don’t know if you know, but we don’t really have a conscious mind until then – we soak up everything and don’t really consciously consider things. For example, if you have a 5 year old and tell them that there is a dragon outside the door selling icecream, they will probably believe you and go and have a look.

They are the things that are important to you and you are probably aware of them consciously and maybe not all of them unless  you elicit them.

Have a look at the video below and the downoad the values elicitation workbook below it.

You may think that you know what your values are, but every time I help someone elicit theirs, they are surprised. So download the workbook and let me know what they are and whether they are working for you or not.

If you want to talk to me about what you find or help in doing the exercise, book a free appointment to find out how I can help

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – motivated to help you at all times

 

 

 

How to Deal with Overwhelm

How to deal with overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm

Overwhelm is defined as “a very large thing that  happens to you” – either positive or negative. Mainly I see a lot of people in business,including myself, who feel as though they are struggling to do everything and therefore get stuck – often physically.

One of my clients saw me the other day – she was looking wobbly! She had done really well and then things started to happen around her that had caused the wobble.

  • Relationships had become “tricky”
  • Paper work has started to build up
  • Work had changed and got more busy and she was having to do more, and was unhappy with this and unable to resolve it.

It really came down to “Not being in control”.

She hadn’t talked to people that she needed to, hadn’t been firm with work and had just got stuck which meant that the paper work had started to build up and was overflowing all around the house.

Watch the video below and then have a think about whether you are in control and whether this leads to overwhelm for you.

When we talked through what she need to do to regain control and stop feeling the way that she did, her father popped into her mind. He had always been controlled by her mother and hadn’t really done what he wanted to do and she felt as though she was doing much the same and had lost control. Sometimes, you get so overwhelmed, it is difficult to see where the solution lies.

When you are overwhelmed , it often appears that you have far too much to do, but when you start to break it down, this is often not the case.

It’s about taking a step back and writing down the things that you need to be done, and then putting them in order of priority and making a list. And then just starting. The list, then, is the way that you can control your life and stop the overwhelm.

So my client decided to talk to the people who she felt were controlling her and also to spend 1/2 hour a day getting rid of the paper work and putting systems in place so that she didnt’ get overwhelmed again. A list emerged! It fel as though a weight had been lifted and she bounced out of my office and started to make some calls on the way home.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, decide how to take control back and make a list. And, if you are still feeling as though  you can’t take control for any reason, get in touch and book a free session with me to explore the reasons.

Life is too short to get “stressed”

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to live your life the way that you want to.

Where are you in the Molehill System?

Have I lost the plot? Mole hills?

Sysytem

Mole hill

OK- so I’m known for being a bit different and even odd (nicely odd) at times! I was filming some prescriptions for success in my garden recently and noticed there were lots of mole hills – which is slightly frustrating as I thought they had moved over to the park on the other side of the river. Anyway, I like to take opportunities to film something a bit different and it got me thinking – “What is the purpose of a mole hill?” So I looked it up and apparently, moles have a system of tunnels, which I guess I already knew, and  the reason for making a  mole hill is that when it rains, all of the moles’ food (worms and such like) goes to the surface and they end up having to also come to the surface in order to survive. Thats really interesting and has made me more tolerant of the mole hills. And I thought – maybe this could be looked at as a metaphor for ourselves.

Maybe, we can bury ourselves underground and feel safe and secure but sometimes we need to poke our head up above  our comfort system in order to survive and thrive. I wonder if moles feel uncomfortable doing this? I have a cat who has bought moles into the house and can be seen sitting by a mole hill listening intently for any movement.

Have a watch of my video below and ask yourself the questions underneath.

Ok – so not my best video but it does raise some questions:

  • Should I stay subscribed to this web site? Thats not a serious question by the way- of course you will – lots of new things coming soon!
  • Where are you at your most comfortable – in your tunnel system or poking your head out of your comfortable place in order to survive?
  • Do you have a system that you function best in or do you need to find one where you can stay comfortable and survive and thrive?

If you would like a chat to me, either to tell me that was a bit weird or to get some help in surviving and thriving, click here

I also have 2 places left on my NLP Practitioner Course in January – find out more here – it gives you a system to grow and become totally excellent rather than getting stuck in tunnels

Until next week, happy digging

Dr Bridget

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget

How Important do you Think You Are?

How Important are you?

Important

Important

Sometimes I come across people who inspire me to write a blog and there have been two people in the last month who have had challenges that I want to share with you for your reflection.

The first person was extremely busy growing a business and didn’t really have time to do the things that he needed to do to get a balance and really get what he wanted in his life. The second was a person who worked for a large corporate company who wanted to do something different and was not sure if she wanted to take a risk and go for it or not.

The thing that was common in both cases was a belief that they weren’t important and didn’t matter- this led to them not making the changes that they needed to  make to make them happy and give them what they wanted in life. In other words they were stuck.

This feeling of not mattering can come from the past, from your values or from your beliefs. It can also come from the people that you surround yourself with.

Watch the video below and then ask yourself the questions below and get in touch it you want to talk it through with me.

So its not about me saying  you are important- its about you knowing that you are and making changes in your life to show this and therefore do the following 3 things:

  • Be who you want to be
  • Do what you want to do
  • Have what you want to have

Ask yourself

Do you think that you are important throughout all areas of your life?

Are you standing up for yourself ?

Does your behaviour reflect that you are important to you?

If you are struggling with this then give me a call on 07973 635102 or book a appointment to have a free half hour with me because you are worth it!

Until next week, take care of yourself!

Dr Bridget

 

Creating Time for your Future

Creating Time for Your Future

Creating Time

Creating Time

The results were amazing – there was a slight issue that needed to be tackled though and it was a fairly obvious one to me.

So my client was fully focused on increasing his business turn over by 10 fold after getting all of the negatives out of his head with a breakthrough intensive coaching session with me. It was obvious what was happening as he  was very tired as well as very busy (and well on his way to his target). When I started asking him specifics about the progress, it turned out that he had not taken time out to evaluate, plan and congratulate himself on a regular basis. He didn’t really know how much business he had brought in the previous week and how many new clients he had or even worked out a plan for the next week. And he couldn’t look after himself as well as he wanted because he was so busy. And this busyness, and the solution, applies to people wanting to be successful in a career, in a relationship and in life in general. Watch the video below and let me know what happens when you start to do this yourself.

Here’s my suggestion:
Work out when you can take an hour out of being busy in the week, on a regular basis, to get clarity and plan

  • Put it on your diary right now!
  • Get clarity about your goal
  • Decide what you are going to measure
  • Produce a plan for the next week and work out how you will monitor that
  • Think about your progress towards your goal
  • Treat yourself if you have done what you said you were going to do – something meaningful

Let me know how it goes and the insights that you have from doing this

If you are struggling, book a slot with me to talk about it – it may be what you’ve needed all along.

My Facebook closed group, called One Step Closer is also a place where you can discuss these issues with people who may be experiencing similar challenges.

See you next week

Dr Bridget

 

Is your base solid or wobbly?

Your Base- it is Solid or Wobbly?

Base

A great base

I recently want on a course about business growth and it was in this amazing building which has been mentioned in the doomsday book. It burned down and was rebuilt in the 1860s and is now an amazingly beautiful and grand building. And  I’d like to use this building as an example of something that has stood the test of time and although partially destroyed, has been rebuilt in the same style and is breathtakingly grand. I think of it as an analogy for us and our growth. When we were born, we got our base from our parents, our teachers and things that happened around us which gave us our core values. We then look towards role models and then towards our peers as we grow and develop our own style. However the core values are still there and even though things happen to us and we get burned or knocked down, the original structure is still there. This is our base which consists of our core values and our beliefs which have supported us throughout life. If we forget these and grow without remembering our solid base, we are more likely to fall down or destroy ourselves. We also need a growth plan – how we add to the base structure to keep growing and I have talked a lot in my blogs about the way that we want to be when we have grown- the outcomes that we want. Watch the video and have a think about what sort of base you have – is it useful or not?


If you are thinking that your core structure has been a bit wobbly and may need a bit of repairing in order for you to grow as you want and reach your full potential, let me know and book an appointment to talk to me by clicking here.

Have a look around my web site and check out my courses and my 1:1 coaching which will solidify and enhance the solidity of the structure you need to grow and become excellent in all areas of your life.

Until next week, keep on building and growing

Dr Bridget

How to find out what you struggle with in your business (and some answers)

What do You Struggle With in Your Business?

Lets make 2018 your best year- together!

Hello – It’s often easy to guess at what our potential clients or clients are struggling with and I was no different. I spent a lot of last year finding out what my clients and potential clients struggle with – Meg Ward from Share Your Big Idea was super helpful with the researching of this.  We came up with 5 top things that people struggle with in business from a mindset perspective and when I think about who I work with and who I can see around me that need help, it made a lot of sense. In fact, I was more or less right!

It will be the way that my business will grow to support people in 2018.

The 5 “buckets” that contained most the things that most  people’s struggle with were:

  1. Lack of Focus
  2. Procrastination – lack of action taking and keeping up the momentum
  3. Lack of Support
  4. Lack of Self Belief
  5. Not being aligned with your business

Watch the video below – apologies for the croaking – (I won’t make any more jokes about going viral). If you recognise yourself in one or even 5 of the buckets, get in touch and lets make 2018 your most successful and happy year yet!

I will be developing products and coaching packages that are carefully designed with you in mind and will get you the outcomes that you want for the year . If you’d like to get in touch and be one of the 10 people that I am going to work with individually next year then CLICK HERE 

My  closed FB group called One Step Closer – Business Success is also growing rapidly and I’d love you to join the community to see what changes you can make next year. Other business owners are going through the same struggles as you- just fill in the 3 questions and then come on in and interact with us.

I absolutely want you to be happy, successful and fulfilled next year – it’s what I’m here for and you do only have one life! 

See you next week 

Dr Bridget

 

 

How to do a Vision Board and Why

How to do a Vision Board

Vision Board

Dr B’s Board

I’m guessing that most of you have done a vision board at some stage in your life- whether that was a scrap book when you were young or in a workshop or just for fun! and doing one is extremely powerful! The action of doing a vision board means that you have committed to looking at your life in all aspects and also that you want to get motivated and celebrate. I often run sessions with my mastermind group and recently joined in and did one myself – you can see it in the picture above. It has given me focus and daily reminders of what I am doing in my business and also why – very important.

Watch the video below and then find out how to do one.

What you can do a vision board about:

  • Who you are
  • Where you want to travel to
  • Memories of previous events
  • Your life or business goals
  • Anything really
Vision Board

Vision Board

How do you do one:

  • Get a canvas board or similar
  • Maybe find other people that want to do one
  • Get a wide variety of pens, paint and other stationary (love stationary shopping!) – I have also used pasta in one of mine
  • Buy or borrow magazines – a wide variety of subjects and find some scissors and glue
  • Remind yourself of your goals
  • Work out what motivates you – your values and what you believe- empowering beliefs

And then just start and see what happens- make it fun!

Let me know when you have done a vision board and what you discovered about yourself by doing it- its usually loads

Then make sure you have it somewhere where it inspires you every day!

Examples of other boards done by my mastermind group:

Go for it and let me know how you get on!

If you’d like to join a mastermind group and develop yourself to develop your business, contact me here

Dr Bridget

 

 

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

What are you Never Going To Do? Boundaries

What are your Boundaries – what will you never do?

I was reading an article recently which talked about the things that the author was never going to do. I’d never really thought about that  before and found it really useful to make a list of things that I am never going to do. Since doing that, I’ve made some quite big changes and passed on some opportunities which I didn’t feel good about. These things weren’t about confidence or self esteem as I think I’m pretty OK with those, but just made me clearer on what my boundaries are and will be in the future – very useful!

Watch the video and then ask yourself the questions below and then come up with a list:

Questions

  • What makes you feel bad?
  • What doesn’t feel right?
  • Which people don’t get you
  • Who is always questioning what you do?
  • Who are your mood hoovers?
  • When can’t you be yourself?

Sometimes people struggle with their boundaries and want to please others or are afraid of the consequences of not doing something that they used to do. The 2 questions that I always ask myself in this scenario are:

What if you did?

What if you didn’t?

Create a list of what you are Never Going To Do – whey hey – that’s liberating isn’t it!

And let me know what’s on your list in the comments

Get the answers to the questions down on a  piece of paper and things will seem clearer, If you are still struggling, give me a call on 07973 635102 or fill in the form on the contact page to have a chat with someone who’s been there and will support you through finding the answers.

Until next week

Be yourself!

Dr Bridget

P.S My new FB group called One Step Closer (business success) is up and running and this is your invitation to join and get involved in going for what you want. Click here to join