Why Being Specific Helps you Get your Goals

Be Specific and You Will Get Your Goals

Be specific

Be Specific

One of the really great things about taking an  NLP course is that you learn all about what the Unconscious (U/C) Mind does and how it functions. It is the driver of your behaviour and is the domain of your emotions so it’s really great to understand it and work with it.   The U/C mind likes clarity – it takes the path of least effort. If you aren’t clear and specific the U/C mind will not know what to do and this can lead to lack of action and anxiety. If you are interested in finding out more click here to find out about my NLP courses.

An example of this taking the path of least effort, is if you just set a goal to earn more money, your U/C mind will then find you a 10p piece on the pavement rather than what you really wanted but haven’t said. If you have any goal and you haven’t been really clear, then the likelihood of you actually achieving your goal is much lower than if you have been specific. Here’s a link to a video about goal setting.

Watch the video below where I talk about this common challenge.

If you aren’t setting effective goals and find yourself procrastinating or getting anxious,  your unconscious mind and conscious mind are probably not aligned, so get in touch via my web site to book an appointment to talk to me and start changing your life today.

Until next week, practice being specific -it works

Dr Bridget

How to say NO to people and why

How to say No to people and why

Just say No

Say No

This is an important topic because if you do say no, you will get:

  • Head space for what really want to do and will be completely in charge of your life

• Real fulfilment and enjoyment of your life with none of these ups and down moments

And if you don’t say no. you will become overwhelmed, have low mood and be kicking yourself when  you wake up in the night with everything going round and round in your head and lose any time you have to look after yourself.

 

What can you say No to? Watch the video below and have a think about what you can take action on.

Say No to

  • Other peoples baggage – moaning, negativity, reasons and excuses
  • Things that make you angry
  • Work that you hate
  • Business processes or relationships that you hate
  • Toxic relationships – here’s a link to a video about my ABCD tool. Mood hoovers are the Ds – They have a different model of the world and that is fine but if its having a negative affect on your health or your emotions, get rid of them or neutralise them- Just say NO
  • Hanging onto the past – Things have happened and you have put things into your head. The past is gone, the present is the present and the future hasn’t happened yet so let go and notice the things that are around you and be present.

Is there anything that I have forgotten? Let me know and also let me know what you plan to do to start saying NO. If you need any help, just go here and book a free session with me to start that journey.

 

See you next week with another prescription for success.

Dr Bridget

Taking Things Personally

Taking things personally

Taking things personally

Eavesdropping

You know that your unconscious mind is like a sponge – soaking everything up, and taking everything personally, don’t you?

Well this can be useful or not useful. Useful in the sense that you can react to other people’s ideas and learn and make changes as a result. This happens in a mastermind group – the power of the collective mind.

On the other hand, it can be very unhelpful. I had a strange experience during one of my dreams the other day which I talk about in my video below – and this was the direct result of taking on board something that someone I didn’t even know said in a shopping queue!!! Your unconscious mind takes everything personally.

Funny – but sort of useful.

So this is another great reason for surrounding yourself with positive people and keeping your boundaries tight. if you surround yourself with mood hoovers, then you will potentially start to take on their beliefs.

Have you had any strange dreams – that you can tell me about – where your mind was taking something on that wasn’t meant for you.

Or did you start to question yourself as a result of eavesdropping on a conversation (intentionally or otherwise)?

Let me know

Dr Bridget

How do You “Eat That Frog”? A Time Management tool

Manage Your Time

So many people talk about challenges with Time Management and it is often the biggest reason people give for not achieving and doing the things that they said they’d do. However, I’m sure you are aware that Time Management is actually Self Management!

Brian Tracy wrote a book called “Eat That Frog”. It sounds a bit Yucky! However it’s something that I talk about with all of my clients, my mastermind groups and it’s been a useful reminder for me to look at my list and start doing my time management really effectively.

Frogs vary in size, texture, smell and hairiness, and the tool is based on eating the largest, lumpiest, smelliest and hairiest frog first. The rest of the day then gets better.

Eating Frogs is SO important because it stops you from procrastinating, getting stuck and having loads of excuses and feeling rubbish.  Have a listen to me talking about the tool and using A’s, B’s and C’s.

There’s a tool below the video with a bit of an explanation about ABCs.

 


Here’s a quick lesson on how to “Eat that Frog”

Write a list of everything that you have to do and then sort them into 3 groups

A’s are things that are very important to do today which will help you to reach your goals.

B’s are things that are simply nice to do but you can’t do them until you have done all of your A’s.

C’s are things to delegate to others.

Here’s a quick example  Eat-that-Frog

I’ve filled in some of  my A’s, B’ and C’s on as an example

Happy Frog eating and see you next week.

Dr Bridget

Making the Most of Holiday Periods and Surviving

Making the Most of Holiday Periods and Surviving

Holiday Survival

Holiday Periods

In the UK we are coming up to Christmas time, however this video is not just about this time, it is relevant to any time that you interact with people and feel as though it could be better for you. There are many views which other people hold about how we “should” spend our time but they may not fit with our views. Holiday periods can be particularly challenging with all the different perspectives and, while some people simply want to “keep the peace”, some people get very frustrated and sad that they can’t do what they want at a time that’s important for them.

We’ve all been brought up in different ways by different parents and have had many different experiences of holiday times. I’ve recently been asked by many people “when am I closing for Christmas?”. And because I am passionate about my business and I enjoy what I do, I don’t often think that I will close down. In fact, I’m sure I’ll be checking my e-mails and Social Media and thinking about my plans for the New Year on the big day itself and I’m OK with that. And people know that’s how I feel.

Watch the video below and have a think about what you want to happen and let people know. After all, if they don’t know, then they will mind-read which is always slightly dangerous.

Ask  yourself whether there is anything that you need to change about an upcoming holiday period and let me know if you’d like to have a free chat about it. Click here to send me a message or ring me on 07973 635102

Have a great time and ENJOY YOURSELF doing whatever it is that you want to do.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget

The impact of your expectations is huge!

Expectations

Expectations

Expectations

I have Two Questions for you:

Are you someone that expects good things to happen or bad things?

Do you find that what you expect is what you get??

Here’s a task for you: – Have you ever thought about whether your mindset effects the outcomes of a task or situation? One day this week, I want you to really think about what outcomes you expect from each situation, be that good or bad, and then make a note of what you expected and what the outcomes to those situations are.

Whether your mind set is focused positively and you expect good outcomes, or negatively and you expect bad outcomes, is crucial to the results, and therefore has an effect on your enjoyment of life.

I recently had a client who made all of his decisions based on the “what ifs”, focusing on the negative outcomes that could happen and therefore tailoring his approach to them. This resulted in him only having outcomes that were sub-par to what he wanted to achieve. After meeting with me he began making decisions based on what he wanted to happen, the ‘what ifs’ seemed to be less relevant and he could then focus on the great expectations he had.

If you are preparing for the worst, chances are that you will end up stuck on that level – your mindset truly effects the outcomes.

Watch the video below where I talk about one of my 1st NLP Training participants and where she has reached her dream goals because of shift in how she views her expectations.

Perform the task mentioned at the beginning of this prescription and if you are always expecting the worst to happen and you’d like to take action on your mindset, give me a call on 01656 347027. Or click here to fill in a form for a FREE discovery consultation and I’ll get straight back to you.

As discussed in the video NLP training inspired Sharon to live her dream, if you would like to hear more from Sharon about her experience with NLP click here to watch and interview.

Until next time, take charge of what you want and expect to get it!!

Dr. Bridget

 

Is anyone on your side? – Who do you get support from?

Who do you get support from?

Support i important

Get support

As you go through life, things happen around you that can make you feel really emotional. Sometimes, I find it difficult to show my emotions – after all, a coach “should” be in a great place all of the time. But, being authentic and honest, I admit that I do get upset from time to time.

And, as mentioned being “the coach”, I have struggled to find people who I can openly bare my feelings to but I’ve recently found a small group of people who I can talk to. Not only has it allowed me to gain greater perspective and feel supported, but it has also helped me become stronger for my clients and be of better support to them, my family and friends.

This week in my Prescriptions for Success’ vlog I discuss this, my own struggle to find support and the importance of getting the right support from the people around you. If you are struggling to find the right kind of support, click here to download a pdf copy of my book where there is a tool called ABCD in chapter 2.

This tool allows you to work through your contact list and sort them into categories – with the people placed in the “A” category being those you can rely on and those who will positively support you.

If after watching the video, you find yourself thinking that you need more support, then you can always ring me on 01656 347027 and I will get straight back to you. We can have a chat and I will be there to support you through your journey.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget – part of your A Team!

How to change your emotional state – fast!

Emotional state change

Change your emotional state

Changing your emotional state fast – some easy ways to do this

My state of tiredness usually comes on at the end of the day and it has a number of negative effects on my behaviour. Some of these are:

  • I collapse on sofa and have regrets in the morning from not being proactive the evening before
  • I procrastinate and put things off that need to be done
  • I drink more wine than I should in the hope that it will give me more energy (applies to sugary foods as well)
  • I argue and I am irritable with the dog, cat and husband
  • I fail to ring friends and my mum – sorry mum!

Our emotional state affects our physiology, our behaviour and the results we are trying to achieve. In this week’s video I explain the importance of having a positive emotional state and why it is worth making a conscious effort to change ours. I even show you ways in which you can change yours – and quickly!

We can change our emotional state in many ways and in my video below I show you just a few of the ways that I like to change mine – it’s a bit embarrassing! But it really is helpful!

If you are struggling to change your emotional state and feel stuck in a rut and like you can’t move forward, give me a ring on 01656 347027. We can have a chat about what’s causing it and what you could change to make a difference.

If you want a longer explanation and deeper look at changing your emotional state have a look at one of my previous videos: “how you get results”  – it will be able to help you fully understand.

When you are having a down day, how do you change your emotional state? If you are able to talk about it let me know in the comments, I would love to hear about them!

Until next time – good luck changing negatives to positives,

Dr. Bridget

Do You Follow Up? Here’s Why You Should.

Following Up – Just Do It

Why aren't you you following up?

Following up

I meet a lot of people who say that they are going to do something and never get around to it, and I find it really interesting to think about why this could be. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past but now I make sure that following up is a priority, and it has made a huge difference to my business and my mind-set.

People who don’t follow up on actions can come across as a bit disrespectful and it is damaging to the trust that was originally there at the beginning of relationships. Not following up can be detrimental to your business! By not continuing the contact it could mean that you are missing out on a sale, or a lead to something you want to happen!

There is a theme in Neuro Linguistic Programming which says that there are either:

RESULTS or REASONS AND EXCUSES

And I know which I would rather have! Just think of the amount of time that can go into setting up meetings or getting the initial interaction with, only to not follow up afterwards! What a waste!

I usually find that my clients have 2 main reasons or excuses for not following up.

Watch my video below where I discuss these reasons and the repercussions they can have!

The reasons why people don’t follow up tend to fall into two categories:

  1. Mindreading – this is when you claim to know what is going on in another person’s head. You think that you might contact them at an inconvenient time or that you are bothering them or that they are not interested. But – YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW! You are just assuming. These people are may actually be waiting for you to follow up and feel frustrated and annoyed when you don’t.
  2. A limiting belief – this is where you say to yourself “I’ve not got time” or “I’m not that interesting” or “I’m not good enough” or “they will go with another supplier of the service who is better/cheaper than me”. If you don’t believe you have time, then find a way to manage your time more efficiently – could be as simple as buying a diary. If you feel that you aren’t interesting or good enough, this is a much deeper issue, although the fix can be just as quick and easy. I would love to help you, I offer free consultations and we can start changing that mind set together!

So, stop mind reading, believe in yourself, make time and simply follow up – you never know what is waiting on the other end of the phone call!

If you’d like to know more about the themes of NLP, then click here to find a list of the courses I offer.

Until next time – enjoy the rewards of following up!

Dr. Bridget

Distraction – Why You Do It and What To Do About It

Why You Get Distracted And What To Do About It

Stop doing distraction

Distraction Prevents Results

Your unconscious mind is responsible for numerous things and one of them is distracting you! It sometimes runs internal strategies that don’t work for you in terms of getting things done and therefore you don’t achieve what you want to.

It’s quite funny because as I’m sitting here about to write this blog, an enormous yellow helicopter started swirling around my office with the big letters saying ELECTRICITY on it and I became distracted!

Just look at the distractions I have already gone through whilst sat here:

  • The dog barked and I had to reassure her
  • I had to check my electricity and Wi Fi connections (thanks helicopter!)
  • I had to take a photo for my blog – and yes – that is the photo above!

Distractions, Distractions, Distractions!

The reason I decided to write this blog is because I know distraction can be an obstacle for a lot of people – and I would like to be able to help you overcome it and help you become more efficient.

So we have goals and we know what we need to do to reach these goals, right? Then suddenly we notice that we’ve got distracted at some point and are off on another track. This wastes so much time and means we are not moving towards our goals efficiently.

Distraction starts with a trigger – something we see, something we hear or something we say to our self internally.

My usual distraction is something I see – in this case it was a big yellow helicopter or it can be a message on my phone or an e-mail or even a large pile of ironing, although that’s not very common I must say!

The key is to become more aware of your internal strategy and change it!

So, how can you become more aware and change your internal strategy? You probably know by now that it is all down to you and no-one else!

Watch the video for my tips and then read the questions to ask yourself below.

Find your trigger! Ask yourself “How do I know I’m getting distracted?” and “Is it something I see, something I hear or something I say to myself?”

Then plan to interrupt that cycle by adding something else in as an action when you notice the trigger. For example, when I see a message come through on my phone instead of picking it up, I say to myself, I’ll read that when I’ve finished this task and then continue the task. I set myself mini goals, within my larger goal time frame.

Tackle one distraction at a time and notice how much more you get done!

I cover distraction and ways to combat it in more detail on my NLP Practitioner courses – click here for more information and dates of upcoming courses.

If you are struggling with distraction and need some help, click here to send me a message and we can talk it through.

Until next time, keep focused,

Dr Bridget

Communication Can be Frustrating – Here’s a Tool to Help

Communication with others can be frustrating-don’t you think?

Here is one of the reasons why:

Communication

Communication skills

We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to our language and communication, and if others have a different comfort zone, it can often seem as though we are on a “different page”, or in extreme cases, on a “different planet”!!

A large part of my NLP Practitioner courses is spent looking at and analysing the effective use of language and communication. A really fun part of this is what is called chunking. Chunking is the way we organize information in our brains and how we communicate, e.g. big picture or detailed, we all have different levels of chunking and it is also often context specific.

I am often a fairly big picture thinker but then I can get really detailed nearer the deadline for action. If I’m talking to someone who is very detailed at the beginning of a project, I can get a bit frustrated. And I’m sure that if you are detailed, you’d be a bit confused and frustrated by me at times.

In this big old world, we have no control over the type of person we will have to communicate with in our day to day lives, so it is really helpful to learn what to do about mismatching chunk levels and how to utilize them.

If you have a high chunk conversation (big picture), there is much more likely to be agreement with people. If you have a more detailed conversation (low chunk), then there is more likely to be disagreement but there is more opportunity ti solve problems at a detailed level.

Have a watch of the video below and then read the questions that you can use to become more flexible and communicate effectively. Call me if you want to find out more.

Here are some simple questions to use to gain a rapport with someone and to reach an agreement or solve a problem via your communication.

If someone that you are talking to is being very detailed or specific, you can use these questions to chunk up:

  • X for what purpose?
  • What will X give you?
  • What is X and example of?

If you want to find out details or solve a problem, you can chunk down and ask:

  1. X- what specifically?
  2. X – when or how specifically?
  3. What’s an example of X?

For example, is someone is “upset”, you can chunk down by asking “what specifically are you upset by?”

You could also chunk up by asking “What did being upset give you?” and if they say “I defended myself”, you can say “what is the purpose for defending yourself” and they might say “so that I feel safe” and so on.

It’s really interesting and useful.

And if you want to get into rapport with someone, match their chunk size and level of detail or bigger picture thinking.

If you’d like to come on an NLP course to learn more about communication and how you can improve yours, I offer easy monthly payments and a guarantee that you will have fun and learn communication skills with a wide variety of tools. Click here to get in touch.

Please feel free to share – I found out at the weekend that someone got a job as a direct result of watching one of my videos.

That’s my purpose – to make a difference!

Dr Bridget

What Makes a Good Week or a Bad week? Here’s How to Choose

What makes a good week or a bad week?

As I have mentioned before, the topics I discuss in Prescriptions for Success each week generally tend to develop from discussions with clients or situations they have faced.

Recently, a number of my clients have stated they have had “a bad week” and when I gave a talk on what makes a week good or bad in a networking event, I had loads of questions and enquiries. Therefore, it is clearly something that a lot of people struggle with, and probably will happen to most people at least once in their lives.

Having worked with many people, both as a doctor and as an NLP trainer and coach, I find the reasons for having a bad week are mainly found in these areas:

  1. People lose sight of their goals or don’t have them in the 1st place
  2. People stop being themselves and try and fit in and follow the “rules” as they perceive them
  3. People lose belief – even losing a tiny bit makes a big difference!

In the video below I discuss these areas and possible ways to combat “a bad week”, so give it a watch and ask yourself whether any of them apply to you.

Making some small changes in the way that you think, or the actions that you take, could a potentially take a bad week and turn it into a good week. I always encourage people to write things down as that often gives clarity and understanding, and can often provide the reflection that is needed.

Give it a go and if you are struggling or have any questions, give me a call on 01656 347027 or fill in a request form here. We can find out what is going on together and help you reach your full potential.

 

Until next week – make this one a good one!!!

Dr Bridget