Past

How Attached are You to Your Past?

How Attached Are You to Your Past?

Past

Dragged back

I was talking to a potential client the other day and she was making great progress towards her goals  but she was looking frustrated. She said that every time she gets close to her goals, she gets dragged back to her past and it all comes to a halt. Have you ever had that happen to you?

The thing is- it made her anxious and scared and she felt stuck – not very helpful as she was growing her business. She had had an experience in her work before where she had “put her head above the parapet” and had been “Shot Down”. And it had been so traumatic that she couldn’t shake off the “bungee cord” that was dragging her back to the past.

Watch the video and then consider whether you need help by talking to me  – It’s my area of expertise.

Have you had any experience where you have been unable to stop  yourself being dragged back from the past?

It’s very common – I remember my Dad saying “don’t say you’ve done well” when I passed my 11 plus – in case my sister was upset. Some 40 years on, standing up and telling people about what I do was then quite difficult. And it wasn’t a big thing and he was doing what he thought was  best.

Sometimes people have some major incidents happen and some are minor, but if they get wired into your thinking they can be unhelpful.

This can be in relationships, romantic or otherwise, in your career, in your business or any other part of your life.

So you have a choice – You can either say – that was in the past and get on with what you want to achieve – or you can get some help – Having a conversation with me will help you decide how to deal with it. So book an appointment and then you can get on with the rest of your life and achieve what you want to achieve. That’s what I did and I’m so glad I did!

Until next week – keep moving forward!

Dr Bridget

 

 

Life

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget

Say NO

The Perils of Saying Yes All the Time

If you mean to Say NO and Say YES, then there may be consequences for you!

Say NO

Say No when you mean it

One of the main reasons that people come and see me for coaching is when they find they say yes when they want to say no. Its really interesting to think about why we do this (and I think most of us do to some extent)

  • Maybe we are people pleasers?
  • Maybe we want to be liked?
  • Could we be afraid  of the consequences?
  • Most likely, we are mind-reading what people would say or do?
  • Maybe things have happened to us in the past which makes us worry about the consequences of saying no?

And what are the consequence when we don’t say no?

  • Generally we feel uncomfortable
  • Anxiety kicks in when we are not being true to what we want
  • Then we can lose confidence, end up in a vicious circle and then start saying yes even more!

Watch the short video below and then read the tips underneath that will make you think and perhaps do things differently.

If any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to start to say no, here are some things that you could do:

  • Stop and think about when you do it
  • Say to the person, let me have a think about it
  • Take a step back and think about why you are doing it and whether it’s in line with your values and being yourself
  • Ask yourself what’s important to you about being you
  • Say no if that’s what you’ve decided, explain the reasons and how saying yes is making you feel. You can always find a great way of saying it!
  • Move on

If the person is unhappy, then maybe you need to move on from them???? – Just saying -and I know it depends who they are. – I’m an expert in mending relationships if you still want to keep them.

You could also take some responsibility for having said yes in the past – maybe the person is confused?

How about saying something like this – “I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with you and I haven’t always been totally honest with myself and have said yes when instinctively I have wanted to say no. I’ve realised now what I’m doing and I apologise for any confusion I’m causing. I hope you understand and that we can still have a good relationship”

Enjoy reflecting on this week’s blog! If you want some support to make changes, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or get in touch here 

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

Base

Is your base solid or wobbly?

Your Base- it is Solid or Wobbly?

Base

A great base

I recently want on a course about business growth and it was in this amazing building which has been mentioned in the doomsday book. It burned down and was rebuilt in the 1860s and is now an amazingly beautiful and grand building. And  I’d like to use this building as an example of something that has stood the test of time and although partially destroyed, has been rebuilt in the same style and is breathtakingly grand. I think of it as an analogy for us and our growth. When we were born, we got our base from our parents, our teachers and things that happened around us which gave us our core values. We then look towards role models and then towards our peers as we grow and develop our own style. However the core values are still there and even though things happen to us and we get burned or knocked down, the original structure is still there. This is our base which consists of our core values and our beliefs which have supported us throughout life. If we forget these and grow without remembering our solid base, we are more likely to fall down or destroy ourselves. We also need a growth plan – how we add to the base structure to keep growing and I have talked a lot in my blogs about the way that we want to be when we have grown- the outcomes that we want. Watch the video and have a think about what sort of base you have – is it useful or not?


If you are thinking that your core structure has been a bit wobbly and may need a bit of repairing in order for you to grow as you want and reach your full potential, let me know and book an appointment to talk to me by clicking here.

Have a look around my web site and check out my courses and my 1:1 coaching which will solidify and enhance the solidity of the structure you need to grow and become excellent in all areas of your life.

Until next week, keep on building and growing

Dr Bridget

Equality

How are you Contributing to your Equality?

Equality is the State of being Equal

Equality

Are You Equal?

Being Equal,  especially in status, rights or opportunities is a very topical subject and International Woman’s day is happening this week.

However, I want to take a different look at equality, especially as a lot of my clients struggle with confidence, self worth and projecting success. They do not feel equal and I wanted to highlight this important aspect of equality.

Watch the video and then ask yourself the questions underneath

  • How are you showing up in terms of  equality when you compare yourself to others?
  • Are you hiding your views or what you feel?
  • Is there anything that is stopping you from showing up as an equal? Either now in your surroundings or from the past?
  • Do you feel equal?
  • Is equality something that you don’t want to consider?

As we progress through childhood, we pick up our values from our parents and our teachers and the people around us. We also develop beliefs which can limit the way that we think about our career or business or life progression. Maybe things happen around us, or to us, and we “wire” the belief that we are not equal to others into our thinking. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where we only notice when we are not equal.

If any of these questions bring up any queries or negative feelings for you, get in touch with me and book an appointment to start a conversation and to progress the way that you can be equal to others.

Because you are equal !!

Have a think, have a look at my web site and the new resources available for mindset for business success and get in touch on 07973 635102 if you want to talk to me.

You can also contact me via the contact page. 

Until next week – be equal!

Dr Bridget