Do You Have a Fixed or a Growth Mindset?

Do you have a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset?

Growth MIndset

Fixed or Growth Mindset?

I’ve been reading Carole Dweck’s book called “Mindset – the new psychology of success” recently and it has prompted me to look at my own mindset and develop a simple tool to decide which I have – A Fixed or a Growth Mindset – and  I would love to share it with you.

The trigger for this – I was in Sri Lanka a month or so ago and was feeling envious of some back packers that were passing by when our guide said to me “You are too old to go back packing! “ I felt defensive about it at the time and before I knew where I was, I had gathered my friends and colleagues to prove him wrong – At the time I thought this was a growth mindset, but when I sat and thought about it, it was more of a fixed mindset- an instinctive “he’s wrong and I’m right” reaction.

I realise what I need to do now is to reflect, ask advice, read books about older people going back packing and decide what I want to do. I’m still looking for people to join me though!!!!!!

Watch the video below, and look at the tool that I’ve developed as a result of thinking about it, you too can reflect and decide where you are and whether you are happy with your mindset, whether it is a fixed or a growth mindset or somewhere in between! Fixed or Growth Mindset

Here is the tool that I have developed –Fixed or Growth Mindset  

Put a mark in between the two statements  and be honest. Some of mine were closer to the left hand side – the fixed mindset- (WHAT?????) and I have some homework to do going forward. I’ll pop my thoughts in my journal and share with you as well.

Sharing some of your reflections will help others in the spirit of that Growth Mindset!

Until next week, Happy Reflecting!

Dr Bridget

 

P.S. I’m developing some resources to share with people who would like to join my on-line community and I want to be sure I’m heading in the right direction and that the content I create is useful to YOU. 

If you’re a business owner, could you please take 5 minutes to tell me what stands in your way?

 

What I need to know is this:

 

“When it comes to taking consistent action to move forward in your business, what’s the single biggest challenge, frustration or problem you’ve been struggling with?”

 

Please click here to tell me. 

 

 

How to Change Negative Beliefs to Positive Beliefs

How to change negative beliefs to positive beliefs

Beliefs change

Forming Beliefs

I’m really annoyed with myself when I think back. I  used to think that “no-one was on my side” and that came from a decision that I made many moons ago. Something happened and I decided that I was on my own. So, as we do, my brain focused on that decision. It became a belief and created my “reality” and I never noticed when anyone was there for me.

Here’s the explanation for what is happening: There are at least two million pieces of information of raw, unlabelled data that come into our senses. Things that we hear, things that we see and things that we touch. And we have a great filtering system so that we can reduce this amount of information to a manageable amount – about 7 bits of information per second. One of the filters that we use is the decisions that we make in a split second. This then becomes a belief and causes us to believe that whatever we decided is the truth. We delete any things that  are positive such as “people are there to support me”.

Watch the video below and then have a think about the questions below the video

So, I’d like to ask you what decisions have you made that create your truth? AND, if you decided to look for evidence that the opposite is true, would that be helpful? Could you form new beliefs and therefore have a more positive life?

Give it a go and become more aware of how you have created your reality and look for evidence of what you want and let me know if you’d like to have some help to change your beliefs to positive ones. Click here to fill in a form and talk to me.

Until next time,

Dr Bridget

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

Getting things out of your head

Decluttering

You might have heard me talk about how I got “stuck” in the kitchen?. It was when there was so much going on in my head that there was no room for anything else- let alone a decision about what to do first!!! I recently talked to Jo Bendle at JoBendle.com. She was someone I’ve worked with for a while and was one of my first NLP Training clients. She’s now an amazing business person who travels the world, which is her passion, at the same time as helping people reach their goals by being productive and organised.

The tool that she gave me is called a “brain dump” and it is extremely effective and something I am doing weekly now. Listen to the video and take an hour to do this brain dump. It really helps to prioritise and get the important things done!!

So get a couple of pieces of paper and a pen, clear your diary , turn your phone and computer off and make a list of absolutely everything that you have to do. Absolutely everything that is in your head.  In detail! Keep your “sorting head” out of the way until you have put absolutely everything down. Brainstorm, put anything that comes into your head down and enjoy taking the time for yourself !!

Then, when you have everything down, your head will feel much clearer and you will feel calmer – honestly!

You will then be able to sort and prioritise and come up with your most important actions for the month, the week and the day.

I’m really interested to see how it goes for you – leave me some comments

Until next week, enjoy getting everything out of your head!

Dr Bridget

 

Real Resilience – How to Get it and Keep it

Real Resilience – How to Get it and Keep it

Real Resilience

What next !!!

I was confused… I’d just got back from an amazing holiday and was feeling on top of the world despite a few things happening around me before I went. Then things started to happen…..

Watch the video to see what did happen and then see what I think has kept me sane and on track to make the most of my business and my life. Enjoy and let me know what has happened to you and how you dealt with it!

I’m also acutely conscious of the terrorist attacks that have recently happened in the UK and want to say to you that I am here if you are struggling with the emotions surrounding these events. Just pick up the phone!


The main things that I think have give me real resilience and that I recommend are:

  • The work that I have done with a coach and in particular Time Line Therapy which has created a positivity and self belief that really helps.
  • Having goals that inspire me- that I work towards and feel inspired by.
  • People around me – the times that I have wobbles are when people’s behaviour has been way out of line with my values and the times that I am even stronger is when my “A” team listen and support me- no matter what!

Let me know if there’s anything that you’d like to add to this – I’m sure there are loads and I’ll see you next week. If you want to talk to me click here and we can talk about how to help you get that real resilience!

Until next time

Dr Bridget

 

What happens if you say YES when you mean to say NO?

If you mean to Say NO and Say YES, then there may be consequences for you!

Say NO

Say No when you mean it

Its really interesting to think about why we do this (and I think most of us do to some extent)

  • Maybe we are people pleasers?
  • Maybe we want to be liked?
  • Could we be afraid  of the consequences?
  • Most likely, we are mind-reading what people would say or do?

And what are the consequence when we don’t say no?

  • Maybe we feel uncomfortable
  • Anxiety kicks in when we are not being ourself – has this happened to you?
  • Then we can lose confidence, end up in a vicious circle and then start saying yes even more!

Watch the short video below and then read the tips underneath that will make you think and perhaps do things differently.

If any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to start to say no, here are some things that you could do:

  • Stop and think about when you do it
  • Say to the person, let me have a think about it
  • Take a step back and think about why you are doing it and whether it’s in line with your values and being yourself
  • Ask yourself what’s important to you about being you
  • Say no if that’s what you’ve decided, explain the reasons and how saying yes is making you feel. You can always find a great way of saying it!
  • Move on

If the person is unhappy, then maybe you need to move on from them???? – Just saying -and I know it depends who they are.

You could also take some responsibility for having said yes in the past and the person may well be confused.

How about saying something like this – “I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with you and I haven’t always been totally honest with myself and have said yes when instinctively I have wanted to say no. I’ve realised now what I’m doing and I apologise for any confusion I’m causing. I hope you understand and that we can still have a good relationship”

Enjoy reflecting on this week’s blog! If you want some support to make changes, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or get in touch here http://bit.ly/talktoDrB

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

What Seeds of Success Are You Going to Sow?

Seeds of Success

Sowing seeds

Sowing Seeds

Hi – It’s Spring and heading into summer in the UK and people are flocking to the garden centre to buy seeds and  plants to make their surroundings attractive and to be productive. This is a short post today, asking you what you are going to plant in your life this year to be productive, happy and successful?

In order for your seeds to grow and create a successful life or career or business, it’s important to have a framework of things around you and the things that you plant.

Watch the video where I talk about my thoughts on this below


Some people plant negative seeds such as:

  • Fear, sadness, guilt and other negative emotions
  • Limiting Belief  seeds such as “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve a happy x,y or z”. “or “My life is always going to be like this”

    Unsuccessful sowing of seeds

    Negative Sowing

  • Negative people – I’ve recently started to call them MOOD HOOVERS – thanks for that term whoever gave it to me – A very descriptive term!!
  • Dismissal of reflective practices or meditation

More positive seeds could be

  • Positive thoughts and feelings such as happiness, fulfillment and motivation
  • Empowering beliefs such as “I can do anything I want” “I deserve success and happiness”
  • Positive people who support you no matter what
  • A commitment to meditation or reflection in a journal or both

Have a think about what you will grow this spring  and put a framework of positive people, reflection and and positivity around whatever seeds you grow.

If you have challenges with getting the right framework and seeds for you, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027 or book a free consultation here.

Until next time, happy sowing!

Dr Bridget

How to Be Authentic

Are You Being Authentic

Be Authentic

Be You!

Sometimes we surround ourselves with people or situations where we feel uncomfortable and, if we thought about it, maybe we don’t feel that we can be ourself!  Has that happened to you? I think that it is so important to be who we are , with our values and beliefs and the ability to stand up and say- this is me!

Watch the video below where I talk about this and then have a read of the tips below and reflect on your life and your surroundings and whether you are being you or not

TIPS

Reflect on your last week or month.

Have you ever felt really uncomfortable and that you have lost yourself and find yourself doing negative thoughts and emotions?

Have you a rough idea of the proportion of time that you are being authentic compared to not being authentic? If not, ask yourself for a guestimate. Journal about it and give it a percentage. Be honest with yourself!

Then have a think about what you could do about that – do you need to change your surroundings or the people that you associate with?

There’s a section in my book about how to “sort out the people you surround yourself with” and that can be purchased here 

If you’d like to talk to me give me a call on 01656 347027 or 07973 635102 or fill in a free session form.

So enjoy being you and see you next week

Dr Bridget

 

The Consequences of Keeping Your Emotions Bottled Up

Do you keep your emotions bottled up?

Bottling up emotions

Bottling up your emotions

I felt quite emotional about Prince Harry’s admission recently.  He said that he had suppressed  his emotions following the death of his mother for at least 20 years. It made me think about how many of my clients, and even myself, are guilty of keeping their emotions bottled up. There are many reasons for people doing this and it can have quite disastrous consequences on peoples’ lives – Harry said that he had 2 years of “meltdown” needing some help. And now he, together with William and Catherine, is campaigning to raise peoples’ awareness so that they talk about how they feel. Watch the video below and think about whether you show your emotions and what is the cause of that.

And also think about what the consequences are on your emotional and physical health and your happiness?. The trouble with bottling up emotions is that the cork can come out and then you feel out of control. What do you think?

What are the causes of you not expressing your emotions?

  • Fear of judgment
  • Past experiences where showing your emotions has “gone wrong”
  • Feeling it’s weak to say how you feel
  • Your upbringing
  • Society “stiff upper lip” generalisation
  • “Men don’t show their emotions
  • No-one to talk to who would understand?

How can you change this?

I think its really important to find people who you can say anything to without judgment. Do you have any of those? If not, then find some!

Journal about how you feel – it gets your emotions out of your head.

Just be yourself and be happy with that

If you are struggling get in touch with me on 07973 635102 or fill in the form here for a free consultation

Until next time – It’s strong to tell people how you feel!

Dr Bridget

How to Change Your Stress Levels

How to Change Your Stress levels

Stress is harmful

Reduce Stress

Here in the UK its National Stress Awareness month. And I’d like to suggest to you that it’s really important to be aware of stress in yourself and others throughout the whole year. Here’s the thing – if you are stressed, then it has a major effect on your emotional wellbeing and also your physical well-being. We’ve all heard of people who have heart attacks, serious illnesses and depression as a direct result of stress. And I’m not talking about the minor challenges in your life – you often hear people say “I’m stressed out today” as they smile at you and carry on as normal. I’m talking about the stress that is when challenges and pressure tip over into a stuck and emotional state.

I run an NLP Graduate group once a  month for people who have qualified in NLP on one of my courses and we took the opportunity to explore stress recently, using a  tool developed by Robert Dilts- an NLP guru. It looks at the levels of change and how making changes at one level is different to making changes at another level.

Watch the video below and then download the pdf to analyse your stress levels and what you can do to change them.

Now download the pdf to look at what might be causing you stress and come up with solutions for yourself. They will be different for everyone. I’ve talked about some of the causes on the video.

Let me know if you need any help and want to talk to me about it. I’m also on 07973 635102 and 01656 347027.

If you decide to continue with the things that are causing you stress, just be aware of the consequences and choose to change for your own health and well being.

Until next time, happy reflecting!

Dr Bridget

P.S If you’d like to become part of my NLP training group, here’s the link to book yourself on a course 

 

How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Are you stuck in your comfort zone?

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

If you stay in  your comfort zone, it’s possible that you may not reach your full potential and that’s OK, if it’s OK with  you!  On the other hand, maybe you are feeling frustrated with yourself for not pushing out of, and therefore expanding, your comfort zone. Maybe there’s something you want to do in your business, some career move you’d like to make or somewhere you want to speak? Is there something you want to say to someone or something that you’d like to do and it’s just too uncomfortable??

Watch the video below where I explain where your comfort zone comes from and then download the Zones tool where I help you discover what is in your comfort zones and beyond. And I’ll give you three choices for what you could do as a result!

 


Your comfort zone comes from your upbringing, your values and your beliefs and things that have happened around you and to  you in your life.

Then whenever you do something that is outside this zone, you feel uncomfortable and stretched and do something to get back in your comfort zone – Am  I right?

I’ve attached a Zones tool here which helps you to identify, what is comfortable, what is a stretch and what is downright scary. I want you to fill in the content for these areas, and then you have 3 choices:

  1. Do nothing and stay in your comfort zone
  2. Find someone to do the things that you don’t want to do – underline these things
  3. Develop yourself so that the scary things are well within your expanded comfort zone – draw a circle round these things

So, I’m curious as to what you discovered?

I’ve regularly expanded my comfort zone and I’ve had some help along the way and its been tough at times. However, I feel in a much better place to take my business forward and be happy as a result of sorting out my perceived limitations. If you want some help, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027. You could also  fill in the form here and I’ll get straight back to you.

Until next time- have fun stretching!

Dr Bridget

A Different Way to Influence People’s Beliefs

How to Influence People’s Beliefs

Influence beliefs

Influence of Beliefs

If you have been watching and listening to my videos for a while, you’ll realise that beliefs are what people believe to be true. They are an unconscious filter which create peoples behaviours and results. They can be empowering or limiting and this blog and video gives you a way of challenging both your own and other people’s beliefs. This is then empowering and will influence people’s results.

Beliefs sound like this “I can’t ………….”

So, the way to influence these beliefs is to turn the belief into a skill and behaviour.

Watch the video below and then give it a go.

 


If someone says “I haven’t got the confidence to do x” then say to them “Teach me how you do that”. Then they have to go inside and imagine doing that belief, think of a time in the past when they did that belief and then explain to you how it is done. That may seem a different way of challenging beliefs and its very effective! This is because it turns a belief into a skill and behaviour and therefore can be unlearned or stopped.

Give it a go! Use it with other people to influence their results and with yourself.

If you find it difficult or need sme more help in getting rid of unhelpful beliefs, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or fill in this form and I’ll ring you.

Until next week….

Dr Bridget

How Did You Get Your Beliefs?

Where have Your Beliefs come from?

Your beliefs

NLP Practitioner course

I’m in the middle of running an NLP course and we have started to look at beliefs- there are many that I talk about in the video and here are a few of them:

  • Children should be seen and not heard
  • Winning isn’t everything
  • It’s the taking part that matters
  • A women should know her place
  • If you look after the pennies the pounds will look after themselves

Watch the short video and have think about where your limiting beliefs have come from?

Di these beliefs come from your parents, your colleagues, your friends, the media??

Are your beliefs that have been  handed to you, useful??

Could you decide that they are simply handed down and could be changed for more empowering beliefs?

On the NLP course, we help people to change their beliefs really quickly and also to help other people to do the same! How useful would that be? Very, I expect!!

If you have some limitations that are stopping you from achieving fulfillment and happiness in your life, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027 or fill in the form here to speak to me in a free consultation.

Maybe you’d like to learn how to do the same with other people – here is the link for the NLP course

 

Until next time- belief empowering things!!

Dr Bridget – giving you prescriptions for success