What to do about Overthinking

Overthinking – How to change the channel

Overthinking

Overthinking is very common and can be an issue which causes mental health challenges, lack of sleep and it also stops us from solving problems. I always  remember the time, a couple of years ago, when I was standing in the kitchen with so many things going on in my head and it kept me rooted to the ground and stuck! That was a physical manifestation of over thinking. It lead to procrastination and stopped me from sleeping.

Have a watch of the video below, and then read about the ways to stop the overthinking and change the channel, to one of a peaceful and focused mind


These are the main ways that I use and teach my clients to use:

  1. Notice all of the chatter- rather than just keeping overthinking. Become aware of it when it happens.
  2. Focus on solving the problem – use time management and productivity tools like the pomodora technique. Plan your month, week, day and hours. Write lists and prioritise. Journaling helps.
  3. Challenge the beliefs  you have that may not be true. If you think “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do that”, you may be wrong and it may be a result of past programming and protecting yourself from past hurts.
  4. Schedule time for reflection. So journaling, meditation, mindfulness are very useful.
  5. Time Line Therapy (R) is an American Board of NLP technique which is extremely effective and removes major negative emotions and any limiting beliefs from your thinking. It’s amazing how effective this is and how the overthinking simply stops leaving you room to live your life to your full potential, Ask me for more information.

If you are struggling, let me know. You can fill in the contact form here, or book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me

See you next week

Dr Bridget – clearing your thinking

 

How to Plan Using NLP Techniques

Planning using NLP Techniques

Plan

Plan with NLP

Hello. Last week I did a video talking about your personal exit strategy for Covid, and as I was doing it, I had this thought. “Some of you , including myself in this, may be having challenges planning during this uncertain time.” And the thought started me wondering where planning “sits” within NLP.

Here is a link to a video which explains how we get results and  of course, planning sits everywhere within this Communication Model. It is of course a behaviour, but behaviours come from how we filter the information coming into our head.

Watch the video and then reflect on your planning and learn a new technique:

If we put aside Covid and any other challenges that maybe going on in your  world, and plan for what we really want to happen, things have a way of coming true. It involves getting a great emotional state that is connected to planning. This creates us a reality which creates a behaviour that is about great planning.

of course, exercising, eating a healthy diet and keeping hydrated also help. As does having great support around you.

This technique, called Anchoring, involves thinking about a time when we planned really well and taking ourselves back to that time so that we can remember it as and when needed. My NLP courses teach you many more techniques.

My greatest planning times are when I meet up with a friend and colleague in a cafe or park and sit there with post its, pens and a large piece of paper. I get loads done and it feels really good. I can remember those times really easily and when I recall them, I fell clam and motivated and achieve the planning.

Here is the “script” to say to yourself to do the same.

“Can you remember a time, a specific time, when you were really feeling motivated by planning? As you remember that time, go back to that time, float down into your body, see what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel those feelings of being totally motivated about planning.”

And just remember those feelings by making a fist or doing a power pose or something similar.

I’m off to sit in my garden now to plan my next blogs, felling really motivated

Until next week:

Dr Bridget – planning just for you!

 

 

 

The Art of Dissociation- Managing your Emotions

The Art of Dissociation

Dissociation

Different perspective

Hello – Sometimes being stuck in positive emotions is great – in fact we encourage it on courses when we anchor positive emotions. However, being stuck in negative emotions can be really uncomfortable and can cause constant negative chatter , inability to sleep and can have a profound effect on  your life and ability to lead your life.

In these scenarios, before you get some help to deal with the emotions, it can be helpful to dissociate so that you get a different perspective on the events that you are thinking about.

Have a watch of the video and learn the difference between association and dissociation and the usefulness of each and learn how to dissociate from uncomfortable and unhelpful emotions.

When you are in NLP terms associated you are

  • Looking through your own eyes
  • Hearing through your own ears
  • Feeling the emotions fully

And when you are dissociated you are

  • Looking at yourself
  • Hearing what  you are saying from outside of your self
  • Noticing the emotions rather than feeling them
  • Can learn from the event as you are looking from outside

We use dissociation in a perceptual positions exercise on courses and people find this really helpful.

So if you can step outside of yourself in these uncomfortable times, you can learn from the situation and feel more comfortable. and then associate back into your body. In fact, all NLP Techniques are based on the following pattern:

  • Associate into the problem
  • Dissociate from the problem
  • Gather learnings and resources  while outside the problem and then
  • Associate back into the problem with new learnings and resources

If you are struggling to dissociate and resolve your issues, get in touch so that we can get rid of the negative thoughts and emotions together so that you don’t have to dissociate.

N.B. Also, some people spend all of their time dissociated, often due to traumatic events. This is also unhelpful and can be a response to anxiety and other mental health conditions. I can also help you with these so get in touch if you have these symptoms that last a length of time.

If you’d like to know more about NLP, here is the link to my training courses page.

I’d love to have a chat with you about coming on one.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you tools to help.

 

 

 

 

How to Get Rid of Emotions after Trauma – PTSD

Getting Rid of Emotions after Trauma

Resolving PTSD

Hello

PTSDMost people have heard of PTSD and know that removing the symptoms that go with this diagnosis can be challenging. I’m not a fan of using the term PTSD as it implies that this is a mental health disorder, when in fact it is something that gives symptoms that can be easily removed. I remember when I was a GP, I worried about how to help those with this diagnosis. There is also a new label called Complex PTSD and I still remember a client telling me that they had been told they’d have the symptoms for life. I get cross about this because most people that I work with have had some form of trauma that affects their life and it only takes a few hours  to resolve this.

I have set up a Community Interest Company to work with people who have  had trauma and we are treating people who have had a variety of traumas in their life, whether this is acute or over time. The success  rate is 90-95% and takes less than 6 hours.

Watch the video and then look at the symptoms below. Perhaps you or someone you know have these symptoms and we can help you. Contact us here

Symptoms of PTSD include:

  • Nightmares, flashbacks and difficulty sleeping
  • Avoidance of triggers – people, places, scenarios
  • Physical symptoms such as sweating or shaking
  • Re-experiencing the event as though it is real now
  • Changes in mood

These symptoms can start after the event and last for many years.

Causes include many events which often involve experiencing near death for yourself or death /near death for other people. Also risk of or actual serious injury for self or other people.

The reason that people continue to have symptoms is due to the impairment of moving the memories from the fight and flight centre- the amygdala- to an area of the brain which deals with other types of memories. RTM changes the structure of the memories so that the emotions are separated from the memories and the event has moved into the past rather than being experienced as if now.

Please tell us if you know of people who have symptoms like this as we can help very quickly

See you next week

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

 

– helping you to rewire your thinking

Recognising the Causes of Conflict

What Causes Conflict?

conflict

Get Rid of Conflict

Hello – Are you experiencing any conflicts in your thinking, where you find it difficult to make decisions, affecting your emotional state and leading to behaviour that’s not you?

Or maybe you have colleagues and friends who have been wondering why they are feeling confused and can’t do what they want to do.

Covid and many other traumatic events have led to trauma, loneliness, isolation and these things can create conflict in our thinking – in our neurology.

Watch the video to find out the causes and get in touch if you are experiencing conflict as it is easy to help you re program your thinking  to resolve this. NLP is a content free way of resolving patterns of thinking  so that you can feel completely clear about your life.

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Here’s a summary:

Whether due to Covid  or other events in your life, significant emotional events lead to conflict which has the ability to create changes in our neurology and programming.

  • Parts – where part of us believes one thing and part of us believes another. Or sometimes we believe one thing and sometimes we believe another. Its exhausting and affects our ability to make decisions.
  • Values changes – maybe things such as security and health have become more important and these conflict with values that you used to have
  • Beliefs – maybe we have adopted beliefs that limit us or maybe empower us? How resilient are you?

The techniques in NLP can remove conflict really easily, realigning your memories, values and beliefs with your goals so there is NO CONFLICT. And in a very comfortable way.

The ways that I help people to resolve these challenges are by 1:1 coaching, Breakthrough Coaching and NLP Training, where you also learn how to use these skills yourself.

Get in touch to find out how you can resolve conflict right now.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

How to Manage your Emotional State

 

How to Manage you Emotional State

Emotional state

Manage your Emotions

Hello – If you want to live your life to the full in a positive and resilient way, getting the success that you want and deserve, then managing your emotional state is key. As we’ve experienced over the last year, life sometimes happens around us in an unwanted manner and we can either become really negative or we can choose how to respond emotionally. We can also transmit a great emotional state to others which helps us in business and in our relationships and life in general.

As we know, our emotional state is created by our unconscious mind and therefore, we need to work at that level to  make changes. watch the video and then read some of my tips below it.

The way that we filter the information that comes into our senses uses our memories and experiences, our values or motivators and our beliefs. Also the language that we use to label our experiences and our metaprograms. These filters and the way that we use generalising, deleting and distorting create a reality  for us. This then leads to an emotional state. The second way that we create our emotional state is from our physiology. If we  go for a walk or a swim or do star jumps, for example, then our emotional state changes. If we sit hunched up, then we get different emotions. The third way that our emotional state is affected is by a feedback loop from our behaviour and our results. This feeds into our filters and so the loop goes on. So the main tip that I have for you is to get rid of any negative patterns that cause behaviours and get you results you don’t want.

Here are three other tips I have for changing a negative emotional state.

  1.  If you become aware of negativity , then look upwards. it’s difficult to feel negative when you do that.
  2. Use your peripheral vision – this is described in the video. It stops your negative chatter
  3. Step out of your reality. Look at yourself like a fly on the wall would and observe what you are doing and take lessons from that perspective.

All of these are very effective, and if you want to learn more techniques then get in touch. Sometimes we feel stuck and unable to change- if this is you, then we can change that very quickly.

Time Line therapy (R) gets rid of all of the negative emotional states and leaves you free to live your life in the way that you want to.

You can also learn these techniques by coming on an NLP course. Everyone that comes on a course leaves with positivity and a passion for living their life to the full as well as having skills to help others do just that.

Until next week-

Dr Bridget – removing negatives from your life.

 

Image by 🎄Merry Christmas 🎄 from Pixabay

Spread the Word about your Plans

Spread the word?

Spread the word

Hello. Are  you someone that likes telling others about your plans? Maybe it helps you to have accountability or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe  you like to keep your plans to yourself in case they don’t work out? Maybe you worry that you won’t achieve them or may be you just know its going to all work out really well. Whatever you think, it can be really useful to spread the word. It gives you accountability – internally for  yourself and externally to others. Watch the video and have a think:

If you do tell others, they can help with their own experience, advice or useful questions. And it is very important to choose these people carefully.

Then if you achieve your plans, they can congratulate you and you can reflect on whether it helped or not. If you don’t achieve your plans, you can reflect with others and keep the good actions and stop the actions that don’t help you to get your plans. And they will learn as will you.

This is the sort of discussion that we regularly have in our STRETCH Mastermind group which is people in business who like to have interesting discussions that move them forward. Its an hour long discussion every week and certainly exercises the brain. Here’s a link if you’d like to know  more about the group. Or send me a message via my contact form

If you’d like some support and accountability from a coach who can help  you change your thinking and double your turnover, if you are in business, let me know. I’ve created a successful business myself  and support others to do so.

Testimonial following an intensive Breakthrough Coaching  with me

I’ve had a great productive week and got loads done, a potentially lucrative client call and 8 people signed up to my challenge, two of whom are my exact audience for my higher end work too… coincidence or not, its been a good week – thank you

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping  you spread the word and get those results

 

Leftovers – Do you Keep them or Ditch them

Leftovers – decision time

Leftovers

Keep or Ditch

Hello – it’s decision time again. Following on from my previous videos which talk about the three things you want to achieve in  the coming year, and how to work backwards from your goals, here’s one about leftovers.

We’ve had a very interesting year and there will be some things that have worked really well for you and some that haven’t. In much the same way as  as making decisions about whether to eat the quality street or ditch them, there are things that would be useful to keep and things that would be useful to ditch in your  business, career and  life. Watch the video and then make a list – see below the video:

So let’s have a think about your leftovers:

What has worked really well for you over the last year?

Are you having empowering beliefs, working with your values, thinking powerful thoughts and behaving in ways that get you the things that you wanted and will get you what you want going forwards.

My values of determination have been useful as well as those of making a difference. My thoughts are generally helpful. so I will keep those.

Or

Do you have less useful  or frankly toxic things that you need to ditch?

Maybe un-useful thoughts and beliefs, such as not being good enough, fear of failure or success or people pleasing?

Maybe you are not ticking your values – I’m certainly not ticking my fun value

Maybe you have behaviours that are not helpful – mine are lack of filing and consistent planning

Action point

So, make a list of leftovers that have been useful and you will keep and leftovers that haven’t been helpful and you will ditch. And regularly review them.

If you’d like to have a chat to me about how to do this and anything that’s getting in your way, here’s the link to make an appointment. I’ve had some amazing conversations in the last fortnight about this very subject.

Remember that I work on a one to one basis with people to support you to get unstuck and get what you want. Here’s the link for coaching

I also run NLP Trainings at all levels and am looking forward to running the first one in  three weeks time.

Until next time,

Dr Bridget – supporting you to make decisions

 

 

 

How to Start with the End in Mind

Starting with the End in Mind

End in Mind

End in Mind

You’ve now got the three things that you want to achieve in 2021, having read the blog last week or  found some other way of doing this. So now it’s important to reach your goals. Many people start where they are and head off in a direction that they think will get them there. However, the most effective way is to take your goals and work backwards from them. This engages your unconscious mind and has the effect of putting the goal on automatic pilot. Watch the video, grab some post it notes, take one of your goals and put the actions in order starting at the goal. Then  you will know what to do at the beginning.

Starting with the end in mind will help you with:

  • Self Control
  • Planning effectively
  • Motivation
  • A higher expectancy of getting your goals

The basic premise is that if you start with your goals – THERE- you will know where to START to get THERE.

I did this very task to reach our goals of going away every month in our camper van. The starting point that I’ve worked out is to tax the van. I now have a planned and scheduled list of things to do to be able to take the van away once we can. And it feels easy.

If you need some help to start with the end in mind, contact me for a free thirty minute talk.

I worked with a client a couple of weeks ago who was stuck and they didn’t feel as though they were good enough to even set goals, let alone take action. We sorted that out over a few hours and they are now fully focused on their goal- which is strong in their mind. They can now find out where to start.

If you feel stuck, here’s a link to my personal breakthrough coaching page where you can find information and testimonials about this. I work with people who are stuck on a regular basis and have 2 opportunities every month for people to access this.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – helping you get THERE.

3 Things You Want to be True by the End of 2021

What 3 things do you want  to be true?

Three things

Three things

Hey – I know its  been a hard year and I want to congratulate you for getting through it and working on your resilience and self belief!

And I hope you made the best of the few days off.

I’m not a big fan of just planning in the New Year as I believe we should be doing this throughout the year. However, if you choose 3 things that you want to be true by the end of the year, that will help you enormously with your business and life success and your mental wellness.

Watch the video and then choose your 3 things. If you fancy letting me know what they are, that would be brilliant- you will inspire me as well!

Click here for the things to help you set some really compelling goals.

Personally, I have 3 things that I want to achieve – I have a lot of specifics that I haven’t included but I have them written down and they are clear in my unconscious mind. And I know that I am going to get them. Notice how I’ve put myself there already.

So it’s 31st December 2021 and I am:

  1. Running my two companies successfully. This is my Dr Bridget NLP Limited company which is continuing to make a different to people’s lives and businesses. Also the Trauma Breakthrough Collective Community Interest Company which is about quickly removing emotions surrounding people’s traumatic experiences.
  2. I am organised and effective so that I can enjoy my time on my 2 other goals. My paper work is filed and organised and my plans for the day, week, month and quarter  are clear in my head and being acted on.
  3. Spending time with  my husband doing projects and going on holiday. We have been on 2 holidays and have finished a variety of projects which we planned in January 2021.

I have enjoyed the last year and feel fulfilled , clear and excited about 2022.

Click here for my more detailed plan for my 3 things which fits with the keys to compelling outcomes. This is me holding myself accountable to you as well so feel free to do the same back on info@drbridgetnlp.com

Here’s the thing – Once you have your 3 things that are really compelling, you can work backwards from the end and then everything will fit as it will all line up. Next weeks blog is about how to do exactly that. (Working with the End in Mind)

Here is the tool to help you set goals and to read mine

If you are struggling to find 3 things, then click here to get in touch. Often we have reasons and excuses that stop us from believing that setting goals is possible. This is generally you getting on your own way, and we can sort that out very quickly. The really great thing about NLP is that we can get rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts without spending long time going over what’s happened.

So, keep safe and happy and let me know what your plans are and whether I can help.

Dr Bridget – helping you feel fulfilled and taking action towards  what you want.

Happy 2021!

P.S. My next NLP course starts in February – here is the link to find out more. A mind blowing, unsticking and success getting course.

 

 

 

How do we Find the Intention of a Behaviour

Finding the Intention of a Behaviour

intention

Positive Intention

I guess that, having followed my posts for a while, you’ll realise that every behaviour has a positive intention for the person doing it, even if we can’t imagine what it can be. Most people will say there is nothing positive to be gained  by the behaviour involved in a problem. Examples of positive intentions  might be:

  • To get attention
  • To be yourself
  • To live life to the full

And many  more but it take a bit of digging to get there sometimes and that’s when the lightbulb moment occurs!

Watch the video and then grab a piece of paper and work out  yours. You can even have a bit of a guess about someone else’s behaviour’s intention.

So, watch the video where I give two  examples where I find the positive intention of behaviours.

I did this using these three questions:

  • What does that give you?
  • What’s the purpose of that behaviour?
  • Whats the highest positive intention of that behaviour?

I found the intention of these behaviours:

  1. Feeling flat. I found the positive intention was to live a fulfilled and positive life which is incongruent  (doesn’t really fit). So I decided that the best way to go for walks, find friends who would support me, and many other ways. Feeling flat wasn’t of any help.
  2. Overwhelm. I found the positive intention was to live life in a free and fulfilled way. Again this was incongruent and the person who I was thinking about  could get organised, find some time  management skills and ask for help maybe instead.

Watch the video to see the steps involved.

Fascinating and light bulb moment – for me anyway –

Action to take:

  1. Find a behaviour that you are not happy with
  2. Ask yourself one of the three questions
  3. Find a positive intention at least four levels up from the problem behaviour
  4. Find another way of getting that positive intention

Have fun

If you want to learn some other useful techniques, I’m running an NLP Taster day on the 3rd January and monthly after that- Here is the link for the taster day.

If you are suffering with feeling flat or are overwhelmed, book an appointment to talk about it to me here. 

Lets make 2021 a great year!

Enjoy what ever’s happening for you over Christmas and see you soon

Dr Bridget – helping you to solve problems.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking Around a Problem- How to do this

Thinking around a problem

Thinking

Think around a problem

NLP is a great coaching and therapeutic modality that isn’t about the story of what happened – it has a techniques and linguistic approach to solving problems. So it is a very comfortable way to resolve issues without spending too much time in the emotional or content aspects of the problem. Cool stuff eh?

Last week I talked about how to understand how a problem is formed and this week, I will talk about how to use a tool to destroy the boundaries around the problem so that is just disappears. Watch the video and get really interested in how to use this for yourself:-

So, a problem is a  problem because it has a boundary and once we destroy the boundary the problem disappears. We can use quantum linguistics to wobble or destroy the boundary by thinking around it. Descartes, a French philosopher in the sixteenth century created Cartesian Co-ordinates and it’s a great way of exploring decisions,

If we take the decision of whether to take a job. A = What would happen and B=Take the job

AB = what would happen if I took the the job?

A nonB = What would happen if I didn’t take the job?

NonA B = What wouldn’t happen if I took the job?

NonA nonB = What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t take the job?

So pick something that you want to test your thinking out on.

Put it into a form of AB

Then create the questions and work them through – its very interesting

Have fun and if you want to learn more, then have a look at the link for my NLP courses or contact me to talk about how we can destroy your problems or make decisions so that you can live the life you want.

Till next week

Dr Bridget – helping you with thinking around your problems