Expectation

The Power of Expectation

The Power of Expectation

Expectation

Expectation

I’m not sure if you are aware of  your expectations or not? We have them all the time and they have a huge effect on our results in life, business, relationships and our work. Let me tell you why!

An expectation is a strong belief that something will happen and it can be a negative expectation or  a positive one.

Here’s a negative one – we go to a networking or social event  and think that it’s all going to go wrong and that no-one will be interested in us. I also occasionally do some negative expectations that my dog will run away when I take him for a walk – and guess what happens…….

Positive expectations are things such as – People will be pleased to see me or my dog will be really well behaved.

Some people have no expectations and therefore things happen to them rather than them being in charge of their results.

Watch the video and then keep reading to find out more and consider whether it would be useful to change your expectations to get the results that you want.

 

There are a few things to be aware of :

  • What ever you do, you will probably be aware that what you are focused on is where your energy will go. So if you focus on negatives your energy will be negative.
  • The other thing to consider is the NLP theme which is called Perception is Projection. This means that what you unconsciously project to people is what you get back. So if you have internal doubt, people will give you back doubt. If you project positivity, then you will get that back.
  • Also the brain oversimplifies our experience –  it symbolises things. So if you see someone turn away from you, then the  brain will take that as a symbol that is “bad”  and create doubt in your  mind. If you decide that the person who turned away has a positive reason for doing that, then the brain will symbolise that as positive.

Would it be a good thing for you to expect positives?

So here’s a process for creating positive expectations?

  1. Notice what you are expecting
  2. Decide if it is useful or not
  3. If  it is a negative expectation, ask where it has come from – family, friends, experiences, society or the media?
  4. Reframe the expectation – People turning away from you – this could mean they are getting a coffee and coming to see you. Dogs running away – make yourself really exciting so that they run towards you.
  5. Consider if you always have negative expectations and decide on whether you should simply avoid that experience – put some boundaries around it.

Here’s the thing – it you have positive expectations then you will create positive realities which will get you positive results.

If you are having challenges with positivity then let me know by contacting  me. People who work with me expect the best and usually get it.

I’m creating the positive expectation that you are going to comment on this post to help others so I’m looking forward to that.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Symbolising positivity for you!

 

 

 

Vulnerable

Is Vulnerability a Strength or a Weakness?

Vulnerability – Be  Brave

vulnerability

Be Brave

I’ve been reading some books by Brenee Brown recently – her writing is very powerful with her main book being called Daring Greatly. The main message is that it’s OK to be vulnerable and in fact that is a strength. If you show up to other people, warts and all, then you will be being yourself. And it needs us to be brave!

Often we haven’t been used to doing this and spend quite a bit of time hiding the thoughts and feelings we think other people will judge us for. We then start to doubt ourself and think that these things are wrong whereas it is just part of us being who we are. I’ve asked myself how much I show up my self to other people on a scale of 0-10 and my mind came up with an 8 1/2.

Have a watch of the video below and then ask yourself what number you would give yourself 0-10?

I recently went to a conference in London and  was talking to a person during an exercise about a recent wobble that I had had. It was a cumulation of many things including being with people who have a different model of the world to me, having to deal with some trauma and then some client challenges, challenges with an organisation that I volunteer with, and then running late for an important meeting with my master trainer mentor.

I ended up getting quite upset on the call.

She was very helpful and I am working out what I need to change in my life as a result. However, I could have hidden all of that – well possibly – and not showed up my vulnerability with what I was feeling at the time. Brenee Brown would have called that brave and courageous and I need to do  more of that – how about you?

So, ask yourself where you are on a scale of 0-10 where 10 is fully showing up and 0 is not showing up at all and then have a think about what you need to do to be a 10 (including is it ok to be a 10?)

  • Maybe you need to change your friends or people you interact with?
  • Maybe you need to change your level of self belief?
  • Maybe you  need to put yourself 1st so that you can interact with other people in a way thats ok with you? Note:- if you like to help people, you can help more by making sure you are ok!

Whatever it is that you need to work on, give me a call on 07973 635102 or book an appointment on my contact page.

Life is short and I want to help you live it to the full!

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to be you

 

P.S I am now booking people into my November 2019 and February 2020 NLP course where you can solve challenges as well as learn great skills to help other people and teams and your business. Watch some testimonials and find out more on the page here 

 

Real

Being Authentic and Real – Why wouldn’t you?

Being Authentic and Real

Authentic

Being me

Now, people often roll their eyes when they hear the word authentic, as it seems to be a buzz word that “everyone” uses. Its SOOO important though, because if you are being  the real you, then business, life and relationships-once you’ve found the right ones – are fulfilling and you will be happy.

What do you think?

The meaning of the word authentic is that what is real for you inside yourself, is translated to external behaviours and actions. So whatever are your values, beliefs and thoughts are, they become actions. And this may not always be what other people are happy with – after all, we all have a different model of the world, a different perspective. So it does take some bravery to be authentic when you have not been before.

Watch the video and think about whether you are being authentic or not?

I specifically work with people who feel stuck and they often aske themselves “Who am I?” or feel lost or don’t like themselves. This may mean that their behaviours, while authentic because they match their internal world, are not what they want.

So have a think about who you want to be, find yourself and like yourself and then make sure that your actions reflect those things. If you are having challenges being yourself for any of these reasons, or are surrounded by people who don’t like you being you, then get in touch with me as we can sort this out very quickly.

Remeber to tell people who are used to you behaving in a way that’s “not you”. After all, they might be a bit confused when you are suddenly the real you.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – keeping you real!

P.S Now booking for the next NLP Practitioner training

Mirror Neurons – How they Help us Understand Others

Mirror Neurons

I teach a lot of people about sensory acuity and rapport on my NLP courses and I was really interested to learn about mirror neurones. When they fire we can get an inkling of what is going on in someones thoughts and feelings.

Watch the video below for an explanation of this:

Mirror neurons exist in Brocas area of our brain and they fire when we perform an action and we see others performing the same action.

So, if we reverse that, what we feel may well be coming from the other person who is doing the same thing. This enables us to have an idea of what the other person is feeling and creates empathy and rapport.

It may be the basis for imitation that people do of others . For example if we see someone stub their toe, we tend to almost feel that pain and pull a face. We tend to mimic others actions and feel the same thing as them.

So let’s notice peoples behaviours. I expect we are all aware that if we smile at people they tend to smile back. And if someone is angry about something, we can feel angry too.

If you feel something when you are with someone that may well be coming from them – you could ask and see if this is the case.

I don’t pretend to be an expert in this field but it was interesting enough to share with you. I am going to continue my research and would be interested in your opinions on this.

The courses that I run teach people about rapport and noticing other people’s response to their internal dialogue, which helps with rapport and the understanding of themselves and others.

If you’d like to have more information about NLP courses, click here.

Until next week, have a think about this topic and adapt your behaviour and see what affect it has on others

Dr Bridget – helping you understand yourself and others

 

 

It’s OK to Be Vulnerable – do you agree?

It’s OK to be vulnerable

Vulnerable

Vulnerable

I’ve recently been reading Brenee Browns “Daring Greatly” and its been a bit of an emotional journey for me. I think that people, including myself, have run patterns of not showing up as themselves throughout their life. Being vulnerable is about saying what we think even though that exposes us.

Are you OK with that?

For yourself?

Watch the video below where I talk about my own journey and have a think about how it relates to you.


I think that we learn lessons throughout our life and, while I thought I was showing up as me, I think that I’m not quite there. And I’m happy to say that out loud and on paper. And make changes. In some ways its my fault, because I’ve been so busy running my thought patterns throughout my life and people have not seen the real me, but NOW IS THE TIME!

The time to be 100% me and surround myself with people who are happy with that.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you run thought and feeling patterns that stop you from living your life at 100%
  • Would showing up 100% be good for your business, your life, your relationships?
  • Do you need help to do this?

If you need help, I work with people to let go of any beliefs that you may have that stop you from living  your life at 100%

Just get in touch with me to start that conversation with a free chat.

If you work with people that want to live their life to the full and want to have some very quick and effective tools that help them, have a look at my NLP courses. Having been a GP for 24 years of my life, NLP is the most effective tool for changing mindsets that I have come across.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, Helping you live your life in the way that you want to.