Concentrate on What You Can Change

Do You Concentrate  on what  you CAN change or what you CAN’T change?

Change

What CAN you change?

Hello

I’m interested in which you concentrate or focus on? Often my clients will have noticed that they are concentrating on  the things that they can’t change , and often can’t get them out of their head. And as you know, what you focus on is what you get, so I’m all about changing that pattern of thinking. If you’d like to do that as well, watch the video, have a think about whether this applies to someone you  know or even yourself and get in touch:

Often this pattern of negative thinking, or concentrating on what you can’t change, will last for days, weeks, months or often years and will eventually start  to affect the results in  your life and the people around you.

I’m OK with saying that it happens to me sometimes, and to clients that I’ve worked with, but it doesn’t last very long as our unconscious mind kicks in with the positive learnings. I’m generally a positive person who focuses on the future and positives and solutions.

I think this is why NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming- appeals to  me.

It helps us to find habitual patterns that don’t serve us and  remove them, leaving us free to concentrate on things we CAN change rather than things we can’t. And it’s not about what’s happened- it’s about what patterns need changing, and then changing them really quickly.

The difference between the change that counselling, or other talking therapies, give people and what NLP gives you is simple:

  • It’s quick and effective
  • You will be working with the part of your mind that is responsible for change –  your unconscious mind
  • It’s comfortable as it doesn’t focus on the story,  just the patterns

The way I help people to do this is either to come on an NLP course, where you learn new skills as well as change your habitual way of thinking and feeling, or to work with me on a 1:1 basis

Either way, everyone that works with me changes the patterns that are not helping them to get the future they want and deserve.

If you’d like to change the patterns that you are running in your head or your behaviour, then get in touch and let’s start that change process.

See you next week,

Dr Bridget – Focusing on positives.

 

Your Cells are Listening

Change your Thoughts and Emotions to Get Healthy Cells

ICells‘ve recently worked with a business owner who had chronic pain for over 4o years. It was affecting his business, his health and his relationships. When I saw him, it was obvious that he had been unhappy for this length of time and that all of his attention was focused on fighting against his emotions and his subsequent illnesses.

Having been a GP for 24 years, the skills that I have now as an NLP Master trainer and  coach far outweigh my previous skills of giving tablets and referring to talking therapies

Watch the video to find out more and think about whether negativity is affecting your  health and your life – maybe you haven’t even noticed that you are negative?

When I was a GP, I knew there must be a better way of helping people who were almost creating their own illnesses and stress. And I saw a lot of people who had chronic pain. Here’s the thing:

  • Our cells are listening to all of our thoughts and emotions
  • All of our cells are connected to our nerves and our neuro-hormones
  • The expression of our DNA is affected by our thoughts and feelings
  • All of our memories are present in all of our cells

On the news recently, there’s been a suggestion that doctors should stop prescribing anti-inflammatory drugs and  refer people to remove their stress instead. Of course, I agree, apart from the lack of people to refer to and the lack of understanding of doctors about how to help.

I feel as though I’m in an ideal position to help as a former GP and now a NLP master Trainer and coach.

Wouldn’t it be better for the whole of your life to remove the negatives and become happy healthy and fulfilled?

If you, or someone  you know has chronic pain, get in  touch with me so that I can help you too have a healthy body and a purposeful life without stress.

We can either do this by 1:1 work or  by NLP training – the whole mind body connection is fascinating.

See you next week

Dr Bridget- healing you and keeping you healthy

 

 

What gets you Excited

What Gets You Excited?

Excited

Get Excited

Hello – How often do you get excited and motivated and how often do you feel listless and bored? One of the things that I teach my clients to do is to become aware of their emotions and the triggers for them. After all, if you notice what gets you excited you can do more of it! And if you notice what make syou bored or listless or upset, you can do less of it – right?

I always remember being asked to think of a time when I was totally motivated. It took me straight back to a time when I first started coaching and the amazing results the client achieved. I remember feeling like bouncing around the house.

Watch the video and then do the exercise described below.

I have recently sent off an application to set up a Community Interest Company – It’s going to be called the Trauma Breakthrough Collective -A not for profit organisation.  TBC – life to be continued – after any sort of emotional trauma. This is making me bounce around the house and I was thinking about why that was. Its because I will be working with a team of coaches and making more of a difference and will be a challenge – I enjoy those.

So I noticed that my head was buzzing and I felt really motivated and excited.

So I thought I’d invite you to make a list in the various areas of your life where you get really excited.

  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Business
  • Leisure
  • health
  • Personal development

In each of these areas, and there may be more, think of things that get you excited and motivated, write them  down somewhere that you can see them and tell people that you are close to.

You will be  far more likely to reach your goals in each area of your life and make choices that  help you be happy, fulfilled  and excited.

If you are struggling to get excited and you’d like some help. let me know and we can talk it through in a free chat.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, getting you motivated

 

 

 

Non-negotiables – the Importance of using them

Non-Negotiables

Non-negotiables

Non-negotiables

Hello – As  usual, my blogs come from my clients and  my own experiences and there have been a few recently. Or tests from the universe as I call them.

Non-negotiables are the things you will not negotiate on. They define not only what you will and won’t accept from others but they also align with your values and principles. They are the promises you keep to yourself, your family and your team. Only you can determine what they are and only you can manage them. And life would be a lot simpler if both ourselves and others knew what ours are.

I’m a grey person.  That comes from respecting people’s model of the world and  realising that everyone is doing the best they can, so, pretty tolerant generally. But recently, after several events that have happened, I’ve become a bit more black and white and that tends to be around communication and inclusion – I think my values  are changing

Have a watch of the video and reflect on what your non-negotiables are

Where have  your non-negotiables developed from? As a child we often just soak up things that are around us without really thinking whether they are good for us or not. We then start to experience negative emotions and think to ourself that we don’t want to experience that again or that we do want to experience that again.

If we come up against other peoples non negotiables then we learn and avoid those things or practice them if they are a positive I have non negotiables around behaviour at times. I’ve had a few people stop working with me with no explanation and while I still trust people, if they don’t communicate with me or respect my views, I tend to draw a line under them.

Here’s a task: Have a think about what has happened to you that you feel good or less good about.

My question to you – Do you have any behaviours that you don’t tolerate as a result of what’s happened to  you? Similarly, do you have any behaviours that you must have?

We will all be different  in our non-negotiables and that is fine. If you find yourself stuck and unable to move on and develop these for whatever reason, and we can talk that through in a free 1/2 hour session

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to be happy and strong.

Freedom versus Processes

Freedom versus Processes

Freedom

Be free

Hello. I’ve been running my business for 10 years and for that length of time I’ve been resisting setting up processes because I wanted freedom. In reality, I think I had spent nearly 30 years, following rules and processes and I’d had enough of it. I now regret this because I’ve realised that it is having the opposite effect.  If we take doing these videos as an example, the process is based around me coming up with some titles the night before. This means that it doesn’t give my team a chance to get them uploaded and titled in an efficient way. Annoying for them, I think.

Have a watch of the video and then reflect on how you manage the freedom versus processes scenario.


However, I’ve now got someone helping me and she is asking me, where is the process for x and y- in reality, they probably don’t exist.

I have an accountant that is asking me for financial processes as well. It’s hard work to put them in place, but it does make life easier and therefore freedom is a lot  more reachable.

I also sleep well and worry less about impending dead lines.

I’d like to ask you whether you have got the processes that you need in life, in your business or your career? What affect would having them have? Would you have freedom?

Here’s the solution:

  • Get some help from an expert
  • Delegate
  • Ask for help
  • Do a bit at a time

These things  give you the freedom to do other things which free up your time and get you success

I thoroughly recommend these solutions. However – if you need any help with your thought processes to enable you to do this, let me know and we can talk about whats getting in your way – it’s usually you- I expect you know that.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – giving you suggestions for freedom

How To Resolve Internal Conflict

Internal Conflict is Exhausting

conflict

part of me…

Internal conflict is common and can be disabling. If you have that internal chatter where part of you believes something and part of you believes something else, then its very difficult to resolve this at a conscious level. Its like having a battle going on in your head and causes stress, worry anxiety, indecision and sleepless nights. It can be disabling and gives  the feeling of being stuck.  Watch the video and think about whether you have this sort of conflict going on in your head.

 

Examples of this sort of conflict are:-

  • Part of me believes I’m good enough and part of me doesn’t – doesn’t take action
  • Sometimes I  believe I can be myself and sometimes I believe I can’t – lack of confidence
  • Part of me wants to say yes and part of me wants to say no – difficulty with boundaries
  • Sometimes I think its worth it and sometimes I don’t – common in business

Often people will feel as though they have one voice on one shoulder and another voice on the other and can point them out and even name them.

These conflicts are called parts in NLP and are created by significant emotional events. Either big events or lots of little ones. The part has a boundary around it and exists as an entity with it’s own values and beliefs and appearance.It thinks that it is in charge and is usually there to protect the person. It has a positive intention which is in conflict with its behaviour. For instance, if a part is causing anxiety it will be about protection. The protection will be to keep us safe. Safe will be so that we can be peaceful. Peaceful in order to live our life to the full. So anxiety is created for the  purpose of living our life to the full which doesn’t make sense. Once the part realises that there are many ways to keep us safe and live our life to the full, the boundary disappears and the part disappears much to peoples relief.

This is a process that often is best resolved with an NLP Master Practitioner and trainer such as myself at an unconscious level. Just get in touch to resolve this very quickly and get rid of that conflict.

This will mean that you are calm, are making decisions easily and effectively and are living your life to the full.

If you are a coach  that works with people who are struggling with conflicting beliefs, then have a think about how you deal with this at the moment and realise that this is an unconscious problem which comes from significant emotional events and have a look at my NLP Practitioner courses. Learning to get rid of parts will change your clients’ lives for ever. And your own.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again

 

 

 

 

Do You Really Need Stress to Motivate yourself?

Do you Really Need Stress to Motivate yourself?

Stress

Change your motivators

I’ve done a lot of personal development over the last 10 years and therefore don’t tend to do stress very often. In fact, I’m not really sure how to define it. I looked it up the other day and it said that it’s the body’s response to perceived danger or pressure. So adrenaline and other hormones get released and you get symptoms from this – anxiety, overwhelm, not sleeping and “stuckness” being some of them.

Here’s the thing – everyone’s got a different model for it!

I hear people say,

  • “I’m really stressed, the TV’s playing up”
  • “I’ve lost my job, so I’m looking forward to the opportunities to change direction”
  • “I need stress to get me moving – to motivate me” Really????

Watch the video to find out how people think they need this for motivation,  and how to use other things to motivate yourself.

Is this you?

You’re motivated by the thing that  you don’t want. You  are facing “stress” and saying to yourself – I really don’t want that! If I focus on what I don’t want, I’ll get what I do want! – It doesnt really make sense , does it? The solution is to move towards  what you do want –  goals and what’s important to you you? Then the stress becomes  irrelevant because your goals and your values are more important?

Apart from the effect on the body of the hormones that affect all of your cells, it’s not a comfortable place to be in.

So turn yourself around and face the possibilities and the goals and motivate yourself by doing that.

NLP is an amazing way to change what you are motivated by and to  get rid of negatives very quickly.

If you’re having problems doing that, then get in touch by clicking here and we can have a chat to resolve this.

Time Line Therapy (R)  is an amazing way to get motivation and to get rid of negatives and only takes a couple of hours. It’s the reason that I’m working – life changing for people.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you face positives

 

How to Tell when You’re Not Motivated

Are you Motivated?

Motivated

Are you motivated?

Hello – it’s really important to be motivated and to notice when your motivation goes down. It’s also really important to notice when others aren’t motivated as well. And the reasons for this are that if you are interacting with others about sales, about your services or simply wanting to engage fully with others, then a lack of motivation affects that interaction. You are less likely to be in rapport.

Have a watch of the video and have a think as you go about your life – become self aware.

The three main things that you will notice are:

Your Physiology. If you’re suffering with a lack of motivation, maybe your posture will be a bit slumped or closed and you will just notice that lack of motivation via your body language.

Your tone. If  you have a lack of motivation, your tone will be flat or something different from your normal motivated self

The words that you use. Words that go with lack of motivation are things like try, hope, maybe, sometime, wish and anything that gives away of lack of focus or consistency or belief.

In my experience of working with hundreds of people, it’s easy to spot and then becomes part of your toolkit for success in life and business.

If you are finding that you are not motivated, then ask yourself whether you have goals, whether you are taking action and whether you are aligned with what you are doing in terms of  your values and beliefs and your purpose and identity. The times that I have felt unmotivated are those times where I’m not having fun or looking after myself – 2 of my top 4 values for business.

If you aren’t motivated, then book a consultation call with me and we can have a chat about what’s going on and how we can sort it out so that you are automatically motivated.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – motivating you to get what you want.

 

 

How To Make Sure You Get Your Goal – Part 2

Making Sure You Get Your Goal

Get Your Goal

Get Your Goal

Last weeks video was all about how to make your goal really compelling and then putting it into your unconscious  mind. Today is about how to get your goal. Here’s a link to last week’s blog if you missed it. 

You now need to take appropriate and consistent action  to get your goal, and that is not sitting there and waiting for it to happen. After all, if we want a pizza, we don’t sit there and visualize it and expect it to turn up. We ring the pizza restaurant and it arrives. I think I’m right in saying that?

Having said that, we need to keep that picture of our goal in our mind, consciously and unconsciously. One of my NLP course attendees has a manifestation wall where she puts all of the pictures of her goal. I think I’m going to do that. A vision board or a screensaver works just as well.

So have a look at the video and then take the action listed below it.

Here’s what to do in my view.

  1. Create that picture in your head by following the last video’s instructions.
  2. Tell 10 people that you are going to do this – on Social Media, friends, family, colleagues
  3. Make a plan – start with the end in mind. So I want to set up a Community Interest Company (CIC) in South Wales to help people who are stuck and have had trauma of some sort in their life. So working backwards, I’ll need clients, somewhere to see them, a structure to work from, planning to put a structure up, research into funding,  setting up the CIC, research into how to set a CIC up and then to start with, getting some help to do that. I’ve now got the help which was the 1st thing and will be setting it up soon.
  4. Organise your time and tasks. I work in 90 day sections and also use the power of 3. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next 90 days. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next month. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next week. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next day. Even the next hour.
  5.  Keep checking in with your goal – are  you on track? or have you wandered off track?
  6. Make sure that you have got rid of any limiting beliefs that are getting in your way – ask me for help with these.

Basically it comes down to:

  • Set your Goals
  • Visualize your Goals
  • Take consistent and focused actions
  • Believe in  yourself.

If you need help, just ask or send me a message here 

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to get your goals.

How to Make Sure You Get your Goals – Part 1

How to Make Sure You Get your Goals – Part 1

How to Make sure

Automatic Pilot

We all have destinations that we want to go to – especially now lock down is easing! Goals for our business, a new business , a different business maybe?

Or maybe something in our life – experiences, challenges, places to go, people to meet, jobs to get?

Here’s the thing – most people just dream about these goals and hope or try to get them. They don’t know that there is a specific method to  make sure that you get them. This is part 1 of how to make sure you get them.

Its the equivalent of flying to a destination on automatic pilot where you know you are going to get there – or a bit of trial and error on manual and a lot of just hoping.

IN 1981, George T Doran introduced the concept of SMART goals as a way to enable the management in organisations to write their goals. This has been improved using the NLP Compelling Outcome Model which uses the brains sensory preferences to make goals really compelling.

Watch the video below and then read the steps below to put the goal into your unconscious mind.

Let’s start by adding to the old SMART model to make it really compelling

S = Specific and Simple

Specific in terms of putting specific details down. How much money, what does your new relationship partner look like, how many people are in your team and so on. Also specific in terms of what you can see, hear, feel and say to your self.

M= Measurable and Meaningful

Knowing where you are now and where you are going and how you will measure your progress and know when you get there. Also making it something that you really really want – that has meaning in your life

A = Achievable and All of your Life

The goal or outcome needs to be something that you can achieve, once you have removed all of the obstacles in your way ( if there are any). It also needs to be a rounded and all of your life goal. What’s happening with your family, your friends, your work, your health and fitness, your leisure time and so on.

R = Realistic and Ecological

Make sure that your goal is realistic – I know that you all know whether your goal is realistic – whether you can have a turnover of x or y, or that you will have a career rise, or meet the love of your life.

Its magic wand thinking that you know is possible.

Ecological means that you have checked that it is  OK in your world. Sometimes people set goals that they really don’t want and know that they don’t want but still set them – that’s a no no for goals.

T = Timed and Towards

The time that you are going to get the goal is important. Your unconscious mind  needs to have this as an automatic pilot concept. The goal also needs to be what you want rather than what you don’t want. An example of this would be – “I am setting up a Community Interest Company” rather than “I don’t want to just keep my current company” A toward goal rather than an away from goal.

Once you have written down your goal – it should be a good page of writing – then ask yourself:

“When I think of this (the goal) do I have a  picture?

A representation of the goal should pop into your head. When I think of my C.I.C. , I see a picture of people chatting in my newly installed training and coaching room in my garden  and its really sunny and everyone is happy.

Once you have that picture, make it really compelling by adjusting the colours, the focus and the brightness. Make sure that you are looking through your own eyes rather than at yourself in the picture. Turn any sounds up or down and turn up the positive feelings that are attached to the picture. When you have done all of that, then count to 3 and click your fingers to seal that picture in.

Then whenever you think of that goal or outcome the picture will pop back in and your unconscious mind will help you to achieve it – that automatic pilot.

Have fun creating that goal that you really want and let me know if you are having any doubts – I do a free session to explore any obstacles that  you are putting in your way.

Further information on setting goals or outcomes in this way is available in my course – Mindset for Business Success – which can be found here and is on offer at the moment

Check out PART 2 of How to Make Sure You Get your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – flying you wherever you want to go.

 

 

The Dangers of Concentrating on Competitors

How do you feel about your competitors?

Competitors

Stop looking at competitors

Hi

I’m curious. Do you watch what your competitors are doing?

If you do, how does that affect you? I could spend hours on the internet, watching their every move and thinking about what they are doing. Do they have more coaching clients or training clients?. Do they have different things that they do that might be useful for me to do?  Are they more visible? How does that affect me and my wish to make a huge difference?

And people that are marketers tell us that that’s what we “should” do.

And I guess whatever you do in your life, this will apply to you as well. Even in families and friends circles, maybe?

Have a watch of the video below about the pros and cons of concentrating on your competitors.

Here’s the thing – I love that phrase – There are pros and cons!

Pros – maybe you’ll get some ideas, understand the differences between you and make  decisions.

Cons – You end up reducing your self belief, concentrating your goals rather than your own and projecting the doubt to potential clients and on going customers.

The NLP presuppositions that are useful to adopt are:

  • Everyone is doing the best they can with their available resources
  • Respect other people’s Model of the World
  • People aren’t their behaviours
  • Your unconscious mind takes everything personally

People will be attracted to you if you are genuine, if you are being your self and you believe in what you are doing.

Go for your own goals and accept that everyone is different.

Be in charge of your life.

If  you are tempted and are  your self belief is getting dragged down, then STOP IT ! If you can’t stop it, get in touch and we can see, together, how to be the best version of you that you can be! Isn’t that more useful?

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to be the best!

Take care

Do You Know How your Values are Changing?

Are your Values changing?

values

Have your values changed?

I expect you have been trundling along through life in a relatively stable manner and have suddenly found that you have changed. This is because we have been in a crisis where our behaviour has been changed by the presence of the virus and the rules that we have been given to work with. To be honest I think we have had a shock and we need to review our motivators for our life and business.

Our motivators are at an unconscious level and are called values. They are surrounded by beliefs which support the existence of the values. So if our beliefs change , then they change.

Have a watch of the video and I’ll explain more below it:

Our values drive our behaviours and also our emotions. If we are heading for our goal and our values change, then it’s possible that you won’t get your goals. Also if they have changed then maybe we need different goals. They are interlinked.

You may never have elicited your values formally before so I’ve given you a tool to do this which you can access here. Remember that they will be different for different parts of your life. For instance, what’s important to you about your business will be different to whats important to you about your leisure time.

Once you have elicited them, have a think about whether they are useful for your goals or not.

Also have a think about whether your current environment and beliefs have changed your values.

You may think its a good idea to talk to me about this really important topic and if so contact me here

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Motivating you to achieve your goals

P.S. Please come and join my thriving FB group here. The theme of the group is Mindset for Business Success