What is a problem and how can NLP help?
Most people work very hard to solve challenges and problems that are keeping them stuck, but aren’t really sure how they got the problem or how it’s structured. NLP gives you that explanation and it becomes easy to see how to get rid of it. And of course that means that you don’t have to stay in the problem – just understand it and solve it.
Myself and also people who come on courses have a good understanding of the patterns that lead to problems so I thought I’d get back to basics with you to let you know as well. It’s fascinating.
Watch the video and then follow the steps below to start reflecting.
So, if you accept that you have what you call a problem and that you didn’t have that problem when you were born, there must have been a time when you decided to do the problem. And the thing that has made this NOT PROBLEM into a PROBLEM will form part of the boundaries of the problem. In NLP, we simply want to get rid of the boundaries so that the problem disappears. An that is about recognising patterns.
The things that form the boundary are often:
- Limiting un-useful beliefs that you think are true or can’t solve
- Negative emotions
- Internal conflicts
As we have so many techniques in NLP that get rid of these patterns, it is easy to solve problems and get rid of that feeling of stuck.
Let’s help you to think about this. If you know that you have a problem that you can’t solve, ask yourself these questions:
- Do you want to solve the problem?
- Do you know that you have created this in your thinking at some stage?
- Do you know what is keeping it as a problem?
- Would you like some help?
Coaching with myself helps you to realise what the main problem is, helps you to identify the boundary issues and then get rid of them. Here is the link for coaching.
If you fancy learning to help others to identify and resolve problems , then an NLP course is for you. You can either come on a taster day or, if you want to work with others, an NLP practitioner course to get certified.
Until next week
Dr Bridget – solving your problems without any pain
Hello – As usual, my blogs come from my clients and my own experiences and there have been a few recently. Or tests from the universe as I call them.
Non-negotiables are the things you will not negotiate on. They define not only what you will and won’t accept from others but they also align with your values and principles. They are the promises you keep to yourself, your family and your team. Only you can determine what they are and only you can manage them. And life would be a lot simpler if both ourselves and others knew what ours are.
I’m a grey person. That comes from respecting people’s model of the world and realising that everyone is doing the best they can, so, pretty tolerant generally. But recently, after several events that have happened, I’ve become a bit more black and white and that tends to be around communication and inclusion – I think my values are changing
Have a watch of the video and reflect on what your non-negotiables are
Where have your non-negotiables developed from? As a child we often just soak up things that are around us without really thinking whether they are good for us or not. We then start to experience negative emotions and think to ourself that we don’t want to experience that again or that we do want to experience that again.
If we come up against other peoples non negotiables then we learn and avoid those things or practice them if they are a positive I have non negotiables around behaviour at times. I’ve had a few people stop working with me with no explanation and while I still trust people, if they don’t communicate with me or respect my views, I tend to draw a line under them.
Here’s a task: Have a think about what has happened to you that you feel good or less good about.
My question to you – Do you have any behaviours that you don’t tolerate as a result of what’s happened to you? Similarly, do you have any behaviours that you must have?
We will all be different in our non-negotiables and that is fine. If you find yourself stuck and unable to move on and develop these for whatever reason, and we can talk that through in a free 1/2 hour session
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – helping you to be happy and strong.
How do You Maintain Your Boundaries?
Hi – This prescription is something that I talk to my 1:1 clients about and those on my courses. This is because you can be in a really positive place and then something will lower your mood and undo all of the personal development that you have undertaken. And it’s important for you to consider boundaries as well!
First you need to know what a boundary is. A boundary is something that stops you from feeling positive and stops you from going where you are going. It can either be a person or an environment or something that you see on social media or the news. Maybe watching politics or disasters on the news or going to a networking event where you feel uncomfortable could be a boundary. I also know that there are people who suck my energy out of me- I call them mood hoovers- and they are boundaries for me.
Watch the video and then read under the video to decide what your boundaries are and how to keep them.
- What are your boundaries?
- If you don’t know, make a list
- Notice when you feel glum or your mood lowers
- Let people know what your boundaries are.
- Let go of the fear about telling people and if you can’t maybe they are a boundary.
Let me know if you can’t put a boundary in or can’t tell people about them as there is a liklehood that they will stop you achieving what you want to achieve. And at some stage in the future you will wish you had been firmer and put thoat boundary in.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – helping you to get where you want.
P.S We are now booking for the next NLP courses whcih are in 3 months time
Boundaries are important for success
Hello – today I’m going to talk about boundaries.
They are the things that either keep you small, that keep you where you are, or enable you to become empowered and leading the life that you want. Many people that I talk to are clients that have made some big leaps towards their goals and are feeling happy and are doing the actions needed to stay fulfilled and living their life to the full. However, if they don’t sort out and keep their boundaries following the work that we do, then they can stop progressing and even go backwards.
And people who are stuck or feeling as though they are getting in their own way have often got people, their environment or even the media affecting their thinking and creating blocks to progress.
The sort of boundary that I’m talking about is something that, if crossed, lowers your emotional state, stops you from taking action towards what you want and can create conflict in your mind. It’s something (virtual) that you put around you to prevent these things from happening. Have a watch of the video below and then reflect on your own boundaries
The questions that I have for you are:
- Do you feel as though you are moving towards what you want in your life?
- If not, are there people or things that are stopping you from doing that?
- Do you know what these things are?
- What actions do you need to take to keep these boundaries?
Here are some thoughts about actions that you can take:
Positive people – make sure that you either don’t interact with negative people or give them some feedback so that they change their behaviour. Sometimes we don’t tell people how we feel and therefore they have no idea that we are upset or in doubt. Find some really awesome support.
Positive environment – If your environment is not positive- your office, your home, your other environments that you regularly use- then make some changes and see how that affects your behaviours. You’ll know if that is the case.
Positive beliefs and values – If you have negative beliefs, then they will cause you to feel low and not take action. If you can’t get rid of these, let me know and I can help you change them to empowering beliefs.
Positive mindset – This consists of useful values, empowering beliefs, having positive memories, having great strategies and behaviours and , of course, keeping your boundaries.
You can work with me to get that positive mindset by contacting me and having an initial free chat where we can discuss where you want to be and what might be stopping you. I will then tell you how I can help you.
Also NLP Practitioner training is a great way of learning those skills to keep great boundaries and you will have lots of supportive people to work with as well. Click here to find out about our next course.
Till next week
Dr Bridget- keeping you moving