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What Do You Keep in Your Brain’s Filing Cabinet?

filing cabinetWhat is in YOUR brain filing cabinet?  Is it useful or not?

The memories that we have stored in our brain filing cabinet can be things that our unconscious mind is not aware of – for example, your birth or your first steps.

However you also store memories like:

  • your first day of school,
  • leaving school,
  • first relationships,
  • marriage,
  • partnerships,
  • children,
  • new jobs

These are the standard things that most of us think of as being in our filing cabinet.

But, what if you keep negative memories and feelings in your brain filing cabinet?  In this week’s video I explain what happens with these negative memories, how they can hold you back and how you can overcome them to live the life you want.

What negative memories do you keep in your brain filing cabinet?

When I speak with many of my clients they notice that up until the age 3-5 there was no doubt. Then something happened and they experienced doubt.  Maybe it was the first time they doubted their parents, who up to that point were thought of as the perfect, all knowing people- their role models. Suddenly, something occurs and they are left wondering can they trust their parents.

There are lots of memories like the first time:

  • you lost a loved one,
  • you felt rejected,
  • you felt you “failed,”
  • you labeled yourself in any sort of way

If you are carrying these things around in your filing cabinet then what you tend to do is chain them together.  So if you are doubting then this can become chained to other feelings like rejection or failure and you continue to do through life.

It would be really useful if you could just cut that feeling of doubt from the other feelings and move on –  start again from where you are now. If you don’t do this, then when something happens you will keep getting pulled back, almost like a bungee cord to those first feelings in the filing cabinet.  If we can stop this happening then life becomes much easier.

Neuro Linguistic Programming and Time Line Therapy (R)  is a great tool to help disconnect that cord enabling you to go forward with a fresh start.

It’s one of the reasons I do what I do, as it is such an effective and quick process.

So if there is anything that you are keeping in your filing cabinet that you can’t get rid of then just give me a call and we can resolve it really quickly for you.  You can then live the life you want and run the business or have the career you want.

Keeping the filing cabinet for more useful and positive memories. You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – Helping  you to remove negative files!

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link. The dates are 5-8th November and 26-29th November 2021 – a total of 8 days. In a retreat type of venue with peacocks!!!!

Are You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

sat navAre You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

I expect you’ve noticed that when you follow the directions on a Sat Nav you don’t always arrive where you wanted to arrive. You may end up turning down narrow lanes or even going around in circles however sometimes you may go straight to your desired destination. Having nearly driven into in a river 2 days ago in Somerset, I can really resonate with this!

In this week’s Prescription for Success we’re going to explore the metaphor – Are You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

Narrow Lanes – Dead Ends – Going around in circles – We’ve all been there!

The Sat Nav can take us down those narrow lanes, down dead ends or even around in circles but why does this happen?

It may be that you haven’t been specific enough with the detail you’ve put into the Sat Nav. You may not have chosen the most appropriate options, for example, the fastest route or the most direct route or even the route that avoids traffic.

Another scenario could be that you become distracted, decide to take a detour and perhaps stop for lunch without saving your destination information into the Sat Nav.

Alternatively you may not really know where you are going.

I know some people like to think about the detail first whereas others may want to know their destination and the big picture first.  If you’ve got no idea where you are going then maybe that’s the reason, but does that work for you? Do you really need to know your destination, the postcode etc. How much detail do you need? How are you going to deal with distractions that keep you from your destination?

It’s just a short metaphor to have a think about and have some fun.

If you are having difficulty knowing what you want in life, where your destination is and you’re feeling a bit stuck or distracted then give me a call and we can get this sorted for you in no time.  You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – setting you back on the right path for you!

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link.

Why We Lose Our Motivation?

You've Got This What can you do to increase your motivation?

Do you need to change your emotional state? Maybe, for some reason, you have lost your motivation and are simply not sure of the reason?

Maybe you need to change your environment and the people you are with, or  work out what’s important to you-  your values.

You can look at it two ways.

  1. You can look at the situation from a conscious level and ask yourself “Why am I not motivated?
  2. Alternatively, you could work on the unconscious mind – your values, your beliefs and whether those are aligned with what you want to do and with  your goals.

In this week’s video we consider these questions from an NLP perspective both at a conscious and unconscious level. Watch the video and think about what you can do to feel motivated.

In NLP, one of the filters that our mind uses at an really unconscious level are our meta-programmes. One of these is a meta-programme is called a “sameness/difference” one. It is about whether you like to do things the same way all of the time, or whether you like to do things differently all the time. This is a spectrum so – my preference is to do things mainly the same – so NLP Coaching and Training, and within that to have differences. I think during the Lockdown we all had that feeling of everything being the same over all the time. This resulted in me feeling quite unmotivated but, when I started thinking about my new goals, I felt really motivated. I wanted to take action and thought “I’m going to get this done” and it felt really empowering.

That’s a little personal experience of mine about what makes me feel unmotivated and what gets me motivated.

However I want to ask you the question – Are you motivated at the moment? 

If not, what would motivate you?

At a conscious level, it’s about personal awareness.  Take note of what you are doing and whether it motivates you or not. If it does motivate you,  do more of it.. If it reduces your motivation, either stop or do less of it.

Often, if you are struggling with motivation it’s usually something that is going on at a unconscious level.  This then results in you not getting your goals,  and maybe you are not enjoying your life to the full.

If this is you and you’d like some help with this then I discuss what is happening with you in a free 1/2 hour session. You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102. Give me a call and we can see what’s going on for you and start that process of getting you motivated again.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – re-energising you so that you make the most of life

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link.

The Art of Dissociation- Managing your Emotions

The Art of Dissociation

Dissociation

Different perspective

Hello – Sometimes being stuck in positive emotions is great – in fact we encourage it on courses when we anchor positive emotions. However, being stuck in negative emotions can be really uncomfortable and can cause constant negative chatter , inability to sleep and can have a profound effect on  your life and ability to lead your life.

In these scenarios, before you get some help to deal with the emotions, it can be helpful to dissociate so that you get a different perspective on the events that you are thinking about.

Have a watch of the video and learn the difference between association and dissociation and the usefulness of each and learn how to dissociate from uncomfortable and unhelpful emotions.

When you are in NLP terms associated you are

  • Looking through your own eyes
  • Hearing through your own ears
  • Feeling the emotions fully

And when you are dissociated you are

  • Looking at yourself
  • Hearing what  you are saying from outside of your self
  • Noticing the emotions rather than feeling them
  • Can learn from the event as you are looking from outside

We use dissociation in a perceptual positions exercise on courses and people find this really helpful.

So if you can step outside of yourself in these uncomfortable times, you can learn from the situation and feel more comfortable. and then associate back into your body. In fact, all NLP Techniques are based on the following pattern:

  • Associate into the problem
  • Dissociate from the problem
  • Gather learnings and resources  while outside the problem and then
  • Associate back into the problem with new learnings and resources

If you are struggling to dissociate and resolve your issues, get in touch so that we can get rid of the negative thoughts and emotions together so that you don’t have to dissociate.

N.B. Also, some people spend all of their time dissociated, often due to traumatic events. This is also unhelpful and can be a response to anxiety and other mental health conditions. I can also help you with these so get in touch if you have these symptoms that last a length of time.

If you’d like to know more about NLP, here is the link to my training courses page.

I’d love to have a chat with you about coming on one.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you tools to help.

 

 

 

 

Thinking Around a Problem- How to do this

Thinking around a problem

Thinking

Think around a problem

NLP is a great coaching and therapeutic modality that isn’t about the story of what happened – it has a techniques and linguistic approach to solving problems. So it is a very comfortable way to resolve issues without spending too much time in the emotional or content aspects of the problem. Cool stuff eh?

Last week I talked about how to understand how a problem is formed and this week, I will talk about how to use a tool to destroy the boundaries around the problem so that is just disappears. Watch the video and get really interested in how to use this for yourself:-

So, a problem is a  problem because it has a boundary and once we destroy the boundary the problem disappears. We can use quantum linguistics to wobble or destroy the boundary by thinking around it. Descartes, a French philosopher in the sixteenth century created Cartesian Co-ordinates and it’s a great way of exploring decisions,

If we take the decision of whether to take a job. A = What would happen and B=Take the job

AB = what would happen if I took the the job?

A nonB = What would happen if I didn’t take the job?

NonA B = What wouldn’t happen if I took the job?

NonA nonB = What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t take the job?

So pick something that you want to test your thinking out on.

Put it into a form of AB

Then create the questions and work them through – its very interesting

Have fun and if you want to learn more, then have a look at the link for my NLP courses or contact me to talk about how we can destroy your problems or make decisions so that you can live the life you want.

Till next week

Dr Bridget – helping you with thinking around your problems

 

The Importance of Listening to Discover the Real Problem

What are your listening skills like?

Listening

2 ears

I sometimes watch  people talking to each other about an issue and get the impression that they are attempting to solve it in the same old, same old -yawn – way. And that’s because neither of them have been REALLY listening to each other. And , in the end, the conversation goes nowhere.

Watch the video and have a think about the scenarios below.

Have a think about the different responses to this question:

  1. I just can’t grow my business. Have you thought of taking a partner on? How about networking here? well you just need a VA. I had that problem once and this is what I did …………………………. Does that help the person? Probably not as theyve probably heard the same things and even tried them before.
  2. I just can’t grow my business. Tell me more. Every time I push forward this littel voice pops up in my head and says – You’re just not good enough. I’m getting annoyed with it now. The next question could be   – When did you decide that? Well, probably when my teacher told me I’d never  amount to much.

Hear the difference? The conversation then goes in a very different direction and the person who thinks they can’t grow their business has a ight bulb moment, someone who understands and a potential solution – just because the person listened.

So the next time you have a conversation with someone who has a challenge, problem or conflict, make sure you use your listening skills.

If you want to learn these skills, get in touch as my NLP Training courses teaches  you them.

If no-one is listening to you, get in touch as I’m a good listener and I get to the root cause of the problem really quickly and then help you to solve it.

See you next week.

Dr Bridget – My ears are always open  so that I can help you

Crossroads – How do You Evaluate Them?

Are  you at a Crossroads?

Crossroads

Which way are you going?

Hello – As an unsticker, I often get people coming to me and saying that they are at a crossroads and can’t make the decision which way to go. And I’m guessing that many of us have been there over the last few months and have had to change what we do and how we do it.

When you stand at a crossroads, there are 4 directions – Back, sideways x 2, and a forward. Right?

And how do you  make the decision which way to go? A lot of people get stuck at this point.

Have a look at the video and then find out more below.

When you have decided what you would like to have as a magic wand outcome for a years time, then turn and check whether there is anything in the past or to the side of the crossroads that you would like to bring with you.

Then check whether the direction that you are facing is more compelling in your mind than the other directions.

Once you are clear on which way you are going, then you can start and there will no longer be a crossroad there.

If you are stuck and really don’t know what to do, then let me know and I can help you to decide and get rid of anything internally that’s stopping you. I can be your unsticker. Click here to find out how.

The reason that people get stuck are:

  • Lack of self belief
  • Lack of  feeling that you are worth doing what you want to do
  • Feeling that it’s easier to stay where you are even though that’s uncomfortable
  • Lack of support
  • Lack of accountability

I’m wondering if you are thinking any of those things? If so, get in touch

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – getting you moving

How To Resolve Internal Conflict

Internal Conflict is Exhausting

conflict

part of me…

Internal conflict is common and can be disabling. If you have that internal chatter where part of you believes something and part of you believes something else, then its very difficult to resolve this at a conscious level. Its like having a battle going on in your head and causes stress, worry anxiety, indecision and sleepless nights. It can be disabling and gives  the feeling of being stuck.  Watch the video and think about whether you have this sort of conflict going on in your head.

 

Examples of this sort of conflict are:-

  • Part of me believes I’m good enough and part of me doesn’t – doesn’t take action
  • Sometimes I  believe I can be myself and sometimes I believe I can’t – lack of confidence
  • Part of me wants to say yes and part of me wants to say no – difficulty with boundaries
  • Sometimes I think its worth it and sometimes I don’t – common in business

Often people will feel as though they have one voice on one shoulder and another voice on the other and can point them out and even name them.

These conflicts are called parts in NLP and are created by significant emotional events. Either big events or lots of little ones. The part has a boundary around it and exists as an entity with it’s own values and beliefs and appearance.It thinks that it is in charge and is usually there to protect the person. It has a positive intention which is in conflict with its behaviour. For instance, if a part is causing anxiety it will be about protection. The protection will be to keep us safe. Safe will be so that we can be peaceful. Peaceful in order to live our life to the full. So anxiety is created for the  purpose of living our life to the full which doesn’t make sense. Once the part realises that there are many ways to keep us safe and live our life to the full, the boundary disappears and the part disappears much to peoples relief.

This is a process that often is best resolved with an NLP Master Practitioner and trainer such as myself at an unconscious level. Just get in touch to resolve this very quickly and get rid of that conflict.

This will mean that you are calm, are making decisions easily and effectively and are living your life to the full.

If you are a coach  that works with people who are struggling with conflicting beliefs, then have a think about how you deal with this at the moment and realise that this is an unconscious problem which comes from significant emotional events and have a look at my NLP Practitioner courses. Learning to get rid of parts will change your clients’ lives for ever. And your own.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again

 

 

 

 

How to Tell when You’re Not Motivated

Are you Motivated?

Motivated

Are you motivated?

Hello – it’s really important to be motivated and to notice when your motivation goes down. It’s also really important to notice when others aren’t motivated as well. And the reasons for this are that if you are interacting with others about sales, about your services or simply wanting to engage fully with others, then a lack of motivation affects that interaction. You are less likely to be in rapport.

Have a watch of the video and have a think as you go about your life – become self aware.

The three main things that you will notice are:

Your Physiology. If you’re suffering with a lack of motivation, maybe your posture will be a bit slumped or closed and you will just notice that lack of motivation via your body language.

Your tone. If  you have a lack of motivation, your tone will be flat or something different from your normal motivated self

The words that you use. Words that go with lack of motivation are things like try, hope, maybe, sometime, wish and anything that gives away of lack of focus or consistency or belief.

In my experience of working with hundreds of people, it’s easy to spot and then becomes part of your toolkit for success in life and business.

If you are finding that you are not motivated, then ask yourself whether you have goals, whether you are taking action and whether you are aligned with what you are doing in terms of  your values and beliefs and your purpose and identity. The times that I have felt unmotivated are those times where I’m not having fun or looking after myself – 2 of my top 4 values for business.

If you aren’t motivated, then book a consultation call with me and we can have a chat about what’s going on and how we can sort it out so that you are automatically motivated.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – motivating you to get what you want.

 

 

Taking Control in a Crisis

Taking Control in a Crisis

Introduction to Taking Control in a Crisis

If you understand how you get results and then make changes, adversity becomes an opportunity to get the resuts that you want.


 

Part 1 – Understanding how you get results

 

This video talks about how you get results, whether that is in times of crisis or other times. Its fascinating to understand the process that we all go through to get results.


 

Part 2 – Dealing with Acute Fear

 

In a crisis, people often have acute negative emotions that don’t help. Here are some tips to overcome those emotions during a crisis.


 

Part 3 – Dealing with Uncertainties

 

The changes that happen during an acute crisis create uncertainty and Dr Bridget talks about how to deal with these changes and create certainty within the uncertainty.


 

Part 4 – Taking Control

This video is about taking control. Creating structure and boundaries and having plans will help. We can control a variety of things that are central to us and can’t control things external to us. We can decide what we can start, what we can change and what we can stop.

 


 

Part 5 – I Can’t Focus

 

Many people that I’ve spoken to are suffering from a lack of focus. In a crisis there are many things that distract us. If our unconscious mind doesn’t have clear direction, then anxiety is created. This video also gives some tools to create clarity and focus.


 

Part 6 – Creating a Plan in your Mind

 

There is a NLP structure for creating a plan that you will get because its so compelling. I give you the tools to do this in today’s video.

 


 

Part 7 – Creating a Compelling Outcome or Goal

 

This video builds on the compelling goal that you created yesterday and puts it into your unconsciosu mind so that you will have that to focus on.

 


 

Part 8 – Creating a Great Emotional State

 

In this video I teach you to anchor great emotional states that you can recall at any time. This will drive your physiology and your behaviour which will get us great results.

 


 

If you need some help, schedule a call with me and we can do a free 1/2 hour phone call to find out how I can help you.

If you would lilke to learn more about the fascinating subject of NLP, then here is a link for the courses

Whats Wrong with Being a People Pleaser?

People pleaser

People pleaser

What is a People pleaser?

I think a people pleaser is someone who says Yes when they maybe want to say No. They don’t want to be abandoned or rejected and want to be liked. They spend their time worrying, feeling guilty, planning how to be useful to others and this takes up a lot of energy.

Watch the video and see if any of the root causes below apply to you.

What I notice is that often people who are people pleasers have had trauma during their formative years. Some examples of people pleasing root causes would be:

  • Striving to be noticed
  • Keeping the peace
  • Living with someone who controls them
  • Feeling abandoned or rejected

The consequences of being a people pleaser is that you end up giving more than you get and then you feel resentful. Often this starts off a downward spiral and self esteem becomes low. So you then make even more of an effort and it becomes one of those viscious circles.

The importance of knowing who you are, being happy with yourself and looking after yourself 1st is something that will break the people pleaser cycle. Often people will struggle with putting themselves 1st altho you can help other people more effectively if you do.

If you know anyone or are struggling with this yourself, contact me and we can start to change the way that you think.

Share this post with anyone that will find it useful and I’ll see you next week

Dr Bridget – helping you put yourself 1st

What Can We Do about Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

Hello!

We are going through some very interesting times with the Corona Virus pandemic and now is exactly the right time to do something about our self-sabotage. When we feel under pressure and unsafe, that’s when our unconscious mind starts to throw out even more of that negative chatter which keeps us stuck

Last week I talked about how we know we are doing self-sabotage and the symptoms of it,  which can be procrastination, hiding, picking arguments, becoming ill and many other symptoms. We waste time not going for what we want and not being who we want to be and, at this time, that is even more important!

Watch the video and then find out what we can do about it underneath:

  • We need to find out what the root cause of the self-sabotage is, so listen to the negative chatter in your head and go back in time to see whan this behaviour started. Its often in childhood.
  • Understand that your unconscious mind is there to protect you from experiencing pain, hurt, fear and other negative emotions again. Just acknowledging that helps enormously.
  • Do some journalling – here’s a link to Dale Darley’s journals. If you don’t want to buy one then get an exercise book and some pens and just start writing or drawing. Getting your thoughts out of  your unconscious mind is really helpful.
  • Start positive behaviours such as self care – make sure that is true self care rather than an excuse to procrastinate and self-sabotage. Find positive people and ask for help if needed
  • Change your patterns of behaviour – using NLP, these can be changed in a very short length of time – from 1/2 hour to 3 hours to do Time Line Therapy

Really consider contacting me to do some Time Line Therapy – it gets rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts and negative chatter very quickly – Having become very skilled at helping people in this way, I can’t really understand why people would spend many hours talking things through when this, as a content free process, just solves things really comfortably. It almost sounds too good to be true but I’ve worked with many people in business and life who’s lives have been changed by this process – have a look at the testimonials on my breakthrough therapy page.

If you fancy training to become an NLP coach, have a look at my NLP course pages. We also solve all of  your limitations on the course, as well.

Think about where youre going and what you want to be doing and, if you can’t do that, let me know as the solution is easy

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to live the life you want