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Dr Bridget’s Christmas Message – Getting Stuck

How to be Successful in Networking

Networking

How to be successful in networking.

This week’s prescription follows on from last week’s where we were discussing consciousness.  If you bring consciousness into your networking then you will be successful.

In this week’s Prescription for Success, I share with you some top tips on how to get the best out of networking and be successful. Watch the video and try the tips for yourself.

The three Cs for Networking

One of the ideas that I use in networking is by using the “3 Cs ”

1. Having Clarity – This is the offering, who you are looking for and what you are going to say.

2. Connections – Being yourself, showing up as yourself and really wanting to get into rapport.

3. Consistency – Showing up at the networking event and then following up.

Being successful at networking events is really about habits. Here are some more tips:

  • Stay visible by engaging and having 1:1s with people.
  • Ensure that whoever refers to you are kept updated on what has happened.
  • Ask for the business – people sometimes stop short at this point, they build up an amazing rapport and don’t follow through and ask for a sale.
  • Be organised.
  • Look out for others and give back.

While this is a more practical Prescription it’s also about being present while you are networking and having that best intention for other people and this will get you success in networking.

I’d like to network with any of you, it’s great to get to know people, so get in touch with me because there is always something good that can happen as the result of a chat.

ooking forward to chatting with you.

Dr Bridget – looking forward to chatting with you.

P.S. I’m running an NLP course in November from the 5-8th plus 26-29th – a great way to get to know yourself and increase your confidence in working with others. Here’s a link to the course information where you can also download a brochure for dates and prices.

Are You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

sat navAre You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

I expect you’ve noticed that when you follow the directions on a Sat Nav you don’t always arrive where you wanted to arrive. You may end up turning down narrow lanes or even going around in circles however sometimes you may go straight to your desired destination. Having nearly driven into in a river 2 days ago in Somerset, I can really resonate with this!

In this week’s Prescription for Success we’re going to explore the metaphor – Are You Thinking Like a Sat Nav?

Narrow Lanes – Dead Ends – Going around in circles – We’ve all been there!

The Sat Nav can take us down those narrow lanes, down dead ends or even around in circles but why does this happen?

It may be that you haven’t been specific enough with the detail you’ve put into the Sat Nav. You may not have chosen the most appropriate options, for example, the fastest route or the most direct route or even the route that avoids traffic.

Another scenario could be that you become distracted, decide to take a detour and perhaps stop for lunch without saving your destination information into the Sat Nav.

Alternatively you may not really know where you are going.

I know some people like to think about the detail first whereas others may want to know their destination and the big picture first.  If you’ve got no idea where you are going then maybe that’s the reason, but does that work for you? Do you really need to know your destination, the postcode etc. How much detail do you need? How are you going to deal with distractions that keep you from your destination?

It’s just a short metaphor to have a think about and have some fun.

If you are having difficulty knowing what you want in life, where your destination is and you’re feeling a bit stuck or distracted then give me a call and we can get this sorted for you in no time.  You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – setting you back on the right path for you!

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link.

Why We Lose Our Motivation?

You've Got This What can you do to increase your motivation?

Do you need to change your emotional state? Maybe, for some reason, you have lost your motivation and are simply not sure of the reason?

Maybe you need to change your environment and the people you are with, or  work out what’s important to you-  your values.

You can look at it two ways.

  1. You can look at the situation from a conscious level and ask yourself “Why am I not motivated?
  2. Alternatively, you could work on the unconscious mind – your values, your beliefs and whether those are aligned with what you want to do and with  your goals.

In this week’s video we consider these questions from an NLP perspective both at a conscious and unconscious level. Watch the video and think about what you can do to feel motivated.

In NLP, one of the filters that our mind uses at an really unconscious level are our meta-programmes. One of these is a meta-programme is called a “sameness/difference” one. It is about whether you like to do things the same way all of the time, or whether you like to do things differently all the time. This is a spectrum so – my preference is to do things mainly the same – so NLP Coaching and Training, and within that to have differences. I think during the Lockdown we all had that feeling of everything being the same over all the time. This resulted in me feeling quite unmotivated but, when I started thinking about my new goals, I felt really motivated. I wanted to take action and thought “I’m going to get this done” and it felt really empowering.

That’s a little personal experience of mine about what makes me feel unmotivated and what gets me motivated.

However I want to ask you the question – Are you motivated at the moment? 

If not, what would motivate you?

At a conscious level, it’s about personal awareness.  Take note of what you are doing and whether it motivates you or not. If it does motivate you,  do more of it.. If it reduces your motivation, either stop or do less of it.

Often, if you are struggling with motivation it’s usually something that is going on at a unconscious level.  This then results in you not getting your goals,  and maybe you are not enjoying your life to the full.

If this is you and you’d like some help with this then I discuss what is happening with you in a free 1/2 hour session. You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102. Give me a call and we can see what’s going on for you and start that process of getting you motivated again.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – re-energising you so that you make the most of life

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link.

Comfort Zones – Are they Good or Bad?

Comfort Zones Is it good to be stuck in our ‘Comfort Zones?’

It’s common to hear in the business world, “I really need to get out of my comfort zone, I’m aspiring towards my goals and to get there I need to get out of my comfort zone.”

Recently I was way out of mine and I noticed something very interesting.

I had employed someone to set up some systems and admin for me and then out of the blue that person left and handed all the work back to me. At the time I thought, “I could learn to do this, maybe I could manage this by myself.”  In all honesty I probably could have done it but I didn’t consider the extra work from a time perspective. Suddenly, my work balance went completely Kaput!

People have different ‘brick walls’ where you can see the end result and you just can’t get there. I found that I couldn’t cope and I became uncomfortable, I was completely out of my comfort zone.  So what I did was I returned to where I felt comfortable, and I thought “phew, blimey that’s better.”

Watch this week’s video to find more about the benefits of being in your comfort zones.

It’s hard for people to see at times that being in your comfort zone is not a bad thing. It is okay to be comfortable. When you’re in your comfort zone you are more self aware and it’s easier to know what’s going on inside your head. You know what to expect and you can recognise your capabilities in a stress free environment.

I’m all for people reaching their full potential and expanding and growing, but if you want success you don’t have to throw yourself completely out of your comfort zone.

You can do it gradually, increase the difficulty slowly and when it becomes too much too soon, just slowly take a step back, do things differently or even repeat things. Find out what works for you at your own pace it’s a gradual process there is no need to rush.

Sometimes you can have goals and aspirations that are reachable, but if you rush in you can get stuck. Take your time on your journey, plan your route to suit you!

If you are currently stuck get in touch and you can talk to me about comfort zones and how past decisions have helped form your comfort zone. I can also help you to gradually leave your zone at your own pace.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you grow at the pace that suits you and that you are happy with.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

The meaning of “I’m only human!”

I'm only human

I’m only human after all!

What do we mean when we say ‘I’m only human!

‘I’m only human!’ It’s a brilliant song by Rag & Bone Man – I really like it.  But what does it mean?

It’s the sort of thing we say when we feel we are not perfect and we are justifying some sort of behaviour.

So I thought I’d look up a little bit more about perfection. Apparently 30% of the population really want to be 100% perfect. 87% of gifted humans, whatever ‘gifted humans’ means, do perfection really well. The people who are looking for perfection are looking for an ideal relationship, and ideal mate. They want to be flawless and have a great body. They want to do their business perfectly.

However, what we don’t see is that they are struggling underneath to get this perfection. They are just aspiring to it.

Sometimes striving to be perfect can be a blessing because it lifts your mood and it helps you to achieve things but generally I think it is a painful trap.

Watch this week’s video to find more about the affects of striving to be perfect

I get quite a lot of clients coming to me who perhaps have been brought up to aspire to perfection by their parents.

I always remember one client coming to see me and she used to get 97% in her exams when she was young. Her parents used to say what happened to the 3%?  She was then constantly trying to be perfect for the rest of her life and it just wasn’t working.  She got caught in that painful trap.

It’s almost like their self worth is dependent on that perfectionism.

If you know someone who does this or you do it yourself, ask yourself when did you decide everything has to be perfect. Who decides what perfect is anyway. What’s perfect for one person may not be perfect for another.

So, I just want to ask you can we simply accept that everyone is different. That you are worthy, that it’s ok to be you and to tell people that you are going to be you, and it’s ok to surround yourself with people that don’t expect you to be perfect all the time.

So – ditch the perfectionism. Know that you are only human and if you need some help in doing that then get in touch because I do breakthroughs with people where we just get rid of that perfection and you can be you, doing whatever you want to do in life.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you are yourself and happy with that.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

Is Regret Part of Your Life?

regret

Is regret part of your life?

Do you live with regret?

I was in my mastermind group recently and we were asking lots of questions and solving lots of issues and the subject of  ‘regrets’ came up. I thought “what is regret?”.

It’s when you’re sad or disappointed, when you think that perhaps you haven’t done something yourself, or when you’ve done something and it hasn’t gone well.  And what happens is that you make that decision then to regret things.

The thing is it can be all consuming and what we do is  blame ourselves rather than actually seeing the behaviour in a bigger context.

Also, when you’ve got regrets it stops you from living your life and it’s one of the causes of self sabotage.

If you’re busy avoiding pain you’re not going to put yourself out there and do what you really want to do. You’re just keeping yourself safe and keeping yourself from being sad and disappointed and having  further regrets.

Watch this week’s video to find more about the NLP perspective on having regrets.

– From an NLP perspective, we say that everyone is doing the best they can with all their available resources at any time.  People’s resources are the internal things such as values, beliefs, emotions and anything they’ve  got hooked onto memories-the positives and the negatives.

All these things give you a model of the world and you’re doing the best you can with that.

 – We’re all different, we all do different things, we all believe different things therefore, so if we are interacting with other people, at some stage other people are not going to like what we’ve done, and we may end up doing regret.

Also, people are not their behaviour so whatever we do, whatever everyone else does, it’s not the person themselves it’s just the filtering that people are doing in that moment.

So, you could beat yourself up and say, “What if I did do that?” and “That’s the consequence of that” or “What if I hadn’t done that?”

But here’s the thing – you’re never going to know because things happen around you and if you hadn’t done that, something else would have happened and that might have been worse.

It’s about letting go of regret, stopping yourself from keeping yourself safe and just knowing that you did your best at the time and moving on. Look forward to what you want for your goals.

I ask you “What do you want on your gravestone”? “I spent my life in regret,” or “I just did what I wanted and let the regret go.”

So if you’re stuck in regret, get in touch because within a few hours we can have a explore it, get some insight into it, understand it and then resolve it so that you can live the life that you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life without regret

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure