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Allowing Yourself to be Supported

support

Allowing yourself to be supported

Do you allow yourself to be supported?

Do you allow yourself to be supported by yourself or by others?

It’s been a tricky year with COVID and I think people’s mental health hasn’t perhaps been as good as it was before. Sometimes I hear people say “there is no one around to talk to anymore”.

Things happen around us and we start to get some negative chatter in our head. We feel that we need support but, here’s the thing,  could we take care of ourselves?

How about supporting ourselves first?

When I’ve asked for help from others sometimes they are busy, or sometimes they just give advice and it doesn’t necessarily help. So, I think the important thing is to care of yourself and be ok with being on your own, be ok with just being yourself.

Watch this week’s video and then complete the tasks below

  • Take a look at your strengths
    • What are your strengths?
    • Make a list of your strengths.
  • Look at the people in your life
    • Are they the right people?
    • Do they listen to you or not?
    • Are they enabling you or just thinking about themselves?
  • Recognise any patterns of internal chatter that’s going on in your head
    • Write your negative chatter thoughts down
    • Then be aware that you are actually worth a lot more than you think.

These actions will  allow you to support yourself and what usually happens is that other people then turn up to help you as well.  When you think about it, what you put out there is what you get back- It’s called Perception is Projection in NLP.  So, if you’ve got doubts and negative emotions then you get doubt and negative emotions back.  Alternatively if you’re ok with yourself people will be around for you.

If you are struggling with any of this, if you don’t think you are worthy or you’ve got a lot of negative chatter that stops you supporting yourself, or you think that you are just a victim with others being responsible for your emotions,  then get in touch  this can all be sorted out in just a few hours. Then you can truly live the life you want.

I hope you do that – look after yourself and support yourself in the best way that you can.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you support yourself.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

Are Judgements Useful?

Judgements

Are judgements useful?

Does making judgements help us?

This blog came about because I noticed that I was surrounded by people, whether on Social Media or in everyday life, who were judging other people. Now I’m asking myself as well, am I judging those who are judging others. So I have considered that as well, as I recognise that what we perceive as coming back to us is actually what we are putting out.

I recently noticed that lots of people were actually using their energy in a negative way to judge others when they could have been using their energy more positively. So, are you using your energy to judge others or are you simply interested in people and enjoying seeing how everyone is different? Indeed, the latter position is the stance I prefer to take.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about your stance on this.

Now, in terms of the Neuro Linguistic Programming’s Communication Model, to be able to use the amazing amount of information surrounding us, we need to generalise and label things and that can turn into judgements.

Moreover, the presuppositions of NLP, which are the assumptions that we use in everyday life, which apply to this scenario are:

  • People aren’t their behaviour so the identity of a person is not what they are doing as a behaviour.
  • People are doing the best they can with all their available resources
  • Everyone has a different model of the world

We can adopt these presuppositions and get really interested in people and also get rid of any negative anchors we have from the past. Those anchors may have been  triggers for us to get emotionally involved and make judgements and if we get rid of them, we can then use our energy in a more positive way.

So if you find yourself doing a lot of judgement then get in touch. We can use a tool called Time Line Therapy  which gets rid of all the negative emotions which are anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt and any limiting decisions that you have about yourself or other people. Then life gets really interesting. You can have your own opinions and beliefs and just get on with your life to  get your goals instead of worrying about about other people are doing.

So are judgements useful?  We need some but what do you think?

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a peaceful life.

How Clutter Affects Our Mindset

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect our mindset?

How does clutter affect people’s mindset?

Last week we were talking about loops and I said that I was an ideas person, which means I have a lot of open loops with ongoing projects that I’ve started but never got around to finishing. This often resulted in lots of clutter as there is so much going on an any one time.

I’ve noticed when I’ve seen people on zoom that I’m not the only one with lots of clutter around me. But I’m just wondering how does this affect people’s mindset?

If there is too much to process visually in our environment then maybe that decreases our motivation because we don’t know where to look for things. Alternatively maybe it increases your motivation because you then need a plan to sort it out and start again. Or, maybe you are ok with clutter.

Watch this week’s video and have a think about how clutter affects you.

I thought about this in terms of the neurological levels of change. This is an NLP Model that has come from Gregory Bates and been adapted by Robert Dilts. It states that we can experience change at a variety of levels and that changing at a higher level within the hierarchy can create a more meaningful change. The levels each have an effect on the others and are:

PURPOSE

IDENTITY

VALUES AND BELIEFS

CAPABILITY AND SKILLS

BEHAVIOUR

ENVIRONMENT

  • When it comes to our environment if we have a lot of clutter around then does that affect our behaviour?
  • Does it affect out ability to use our skills in our business?
  • Is it associated with negative beliefs?
    • Have I labelled myself as someone who is just generally untidy?
    • Do I have negative beliefs that I’ll never get sorted?
  • Is it interfering with my values? – For example, if someone has a value of freedom and they are constantly surrounded by clutter does that affect their ability to tick their values?
  • In terms of our identity we may then just think that it’s just the way we are which is not useful and maybe it stops us reaching our purpose as well

Doing this blog has definitely caused me to give myself a good talking to,  to get rid of the clutter.  Often, this just means moving the clutter to an alternative space so that I can start again with a new plan and a new loop of being perfectly organised. And that will allow me to live my purpose of enjoying every minute of every day.

So have a think – does clutter exist in your life and what affect does it have on your mindset, behaviour, values, beliefs, identity or your purpose?

If it’s your mindset that is getting in the way and stopping you get organised, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be and do what you want to do to stay in line with your purpose.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- sweating the small stuff to enjoy every moment.

Using Loops – Good or Bad?

Using Loops

Do you use loops?

Do you use loops? – Is it good or bad for us?

I got out of bed this morning and went across the corridor to my office, walked through the door and looked around and thought, “Oh my God.”

So what is a loop?  In any sort of training we use what we call loops it’s when you open something. It could be the opening of a sentence, a bit of story like I’ve just done or even a project, then at some other time we close them.

The reason this works well in any sort of training is that the unconscious mind is really focused on the incomplete sentence, story or project and recognises that it needs finishing. It’s called the Zeigarnik effect where we start something and plan to finish it a bit later.

So are loops good or bad?

The brain likes an open loop because it’s looking for closure – there is always more. However, if we close a loop we then lose that motivation because there is nothing for our mind to focus on. Alternatively, if we don’t close the loops then there is no space to open new ones and that affects our motivation because we have lots of clutter in our thinking.

Watch the video and then have a think about the activity below:

Try this out, you’ll be surprised what you’ll find.

  1. Make a list of your open loops.
  2. Make a list of your open loops that need closing.
  3. Make a list of your closed loops that need opening.
  4. Make of  list of any new loops that you want to open.

Have a think about your loops and how you are using them and what you need to do about them.

I realised whilst doing this blog that  I am an opener of loops rather than a closer. I have lots of loops open, lots of projects and some of them are appropriate and some are not. I’m an ideas person so there are lots of open loops and nothing is closed which leads to clutter both physically and in my head which isn’t always very good for organisation or motivation – we’ll discuss this next week.

“Oh my God,” I thought, I really don’t know what’s where, some things are organised and some are not, there are lots of things I need to do, lots of things to sort out. In the end I just picked everything up and put it in the spare room and started again. I closed the loop so I could have space to open another or work on a loop already open.  I know there will come a time when I’ll need to reopen that loop again but that’s for another day!

If you have an loops that you are having difficulty with whether it’s closing, opening or even reopening them, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- looping the loop.

How Do you Know Your Identity?

Know your identity

Who are you?

Know your Identity and who you really are

Knowing who we are, our identity, personality and our values is a great motivator for us.

It enables us to reflect on when we are being ourselves or not being ourselves and this in turn helps us to make decisions.

Our identity comes from

  • Our purpose – why are we here on the planet
  • Our values, beliefs and qualities – what’s important to us
  • Our environment – what’s going on around us and what are we doing

From this we come up with a thought – this is who I am.

Often in times of stress we can lose sight of who we are or maybe we even don’t know we are anyway.  But it’s important in your life, in your business or career to know who you really are.

Watch the video and then have a think about the questions below:

Here is a little activity for you:

Take a piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you?
  • Who were you when you were a child?
  • Who were you when you were a teenage?
  • Who were you in your 20s, 30s 40s… and so on?

I recently did this activity with a client who acknowledged that in each answer she was always looking out for others, always taking care of others and making sure they were happy. This ran through her life and before doing this she had not realised it. Making a difference for people is part of her personality. This was good to know as she then realised that she wasn’t living her personality in her home or work life and this enabled her to make some decisions and take action.

When you’ve completed the activity, think of a symbol for who you are.  I think of a jigsaw puzzle piece as I like to help people put things together.

Some might think of a shining light

Whatever your symbol – live with that and make decisions by that.

If there are parts of your personality that you don’t particularly like, for example, a behaviour that you are doing, then get in touch. I can help you sort that out really quickly and help you to be the person you want to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.

When is the Best Time to Work Effectively?

When is the Best Time to Work

Work Efficiently

Work Effectively

You know how it feels, when you don’t have the energy to do the work you really need to do, and think – I wish I’d done that this morning. When you are trying to keep your eyes open in the middle of the afternoon?

Daniel Pink- the American Author and speech writer  for Al Gore, tells us that our brains are fairly hard wired for when we have the energy to do focused work and when it is time to do creative work. Also that, if we understand that, our productivity doubles. Eighty percent of us are larks and work efficiently in the morning, he says – here is the article.

Watch the video and then have a think about how you use your time to do which sort of work:

When do you feel most energised?

My focus and productivity is best in the morning

It’s worse in the evening – get me to six o’clock and I’m nearly asleep.

Daniel Pink says if you you want to do things where its important not to be distracted, do it in the morning – examples are in the video and  include surgical operations.

 To work effectively, easy and creative tasks are best done in the early afternoon. Your brain will fill in the gaps apparently when  you sit there and reflect and become creative.

If you have to focus and take action at a time when you are less focused, stand up and change your physiology – if you remember, changing our physiology changes our emotional state which changes our reality.

Get your peak state at the end of the day – your brain will make sure that you will have a good day the next day.

Have a think and fill  your calendar with things that are  most appropriate for the time of day and try not to do surgical operations  in the early afternoon.

Let me know how your ability to work effectively changes as you fit your diary to the work that you need to do.

Also, if you are struggling with energy and motivation , get in touch. There may be reasons that are causing this , that are not to do with the time of day.

Until next week

Dr Bridget, Doing Work to Inspire  you.

How to Start with the End in Mind

Starting with the End in Mind

End in Mind

End in Mind

You’ve now got the three things that you want to achieve in 2021, having read the blog last week or  found some other way of doing this. So now it’s important to reach your goals. Many people start where they are and head off in a direction that they think will get them there. However, the most effective way is to take your goals and work backwards from them. This engages your unconscious mind and has the effect of putting the goal on automatic pilot. Watch the video, grab some post it notes, take one of your goals and put the actions in order starting at the goal. Then  you will know what to do at the beginning.

Starting with the end in mind will help you with:

  • Self Control
  • Planning effectively
  • Motivation
  • A higher expectancy of getting your goals

The basic premise is that if you start with your goals – THERE- you will know where to START to get THERE.

I did this very task to reach our goals of going away every month in our camper van. The starting point that I’ve worked out is to tax the van. I now have a planned and scheduled list of things to do to be able to take the van away once we can. And it feels easy.

If you need some help to start with the end in mind, contact me for a free thirty minute talk.

I worked with a client a couple of weeks ago who was stuck and they didn’t feel as though they were good enough to even set goals, let alone take action. We sorted that out over a few hours and they are now fully focused on their goal- which is strong in their mind. They can now find out where to start.

If you feel stuck, here’s a link to my personal breakthrough coaching page where you can find information and testimonials about this. I work with people who are stuck on a regular basis and have 2 opportunities every month for people to access this.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – helping you get THERE.

3 Things You Want to be True by the End of 2021

What 3 things do you want  to be true?

Three things

Three things

Hey – I know its  been a hard year and I want to congratulate you for getting through it and working on your resilience and self belief!

And I hope you made the best of the few days off.

I’m not a big fan of just planning in the New Year as I believe we should be doing this throughout the year. However, if you choose 3 things that you want to be true by the end of the year, that will help you enormously with your business and life success and your mental wellness.

Watch the video and then choose your 3 things. If you fancy letting me know what they are, that would be brilliant- you will inspire me as well!

Click here for the things to help you set some really compelling goals.

Personally, I have 3 things that I want to achieve – I have a lot of specifics that I haven’t included but I have them written down and they are clear in my unconscious mind. And I know that I am going to get them. Notice how I’ve put myself there already.

So it’s 31st December 2021 and I am:

  1. Running my two companies successfully. This is my Dr Bridget NLP Limited company which is continuing to make a different to people’s lives and businesses. Also the Trauma Breakthrough Collective Community Interest Company which is about quickly removing emotions surrounding people’s traumatic experiences.
  2. I am organised and effective so that I can enjoy my time on my 2 other goals. My paper work is filed and organised and my plans for the day, week, month and quarter  are clear in my head and being acted on.
  3. Spending time with  my husband doing projects and going on holiday. We have been on 2 holidays and have finished a variety of projects which we planned in January 2021.

I have enjoyed the last year and feel fulfilled , clear and excited about 2022.

Click here for my more detailed plan for my 3 things which fits with the keys to compelling outcomes. This is me holding myself accountable to you as well so feel free to do the same back on info@drbridgetnlp.com

Here’s the thing – Once you have your 3 things that are really compelling, you can work backwards from the end and then everything will fit as it will all line up. Next weeks blog is about how to do exactly that. (Working with the End in Mind)

Here is the tool to help you set goals and to read mine

If you are struggling to find 3 things, then click here to get in touch. Often we have reasons and excuses that stop us from believing that setting goals is possible. This is generally you getting on your own way, and we can sort that out very quickly. The really great thing about NLP is that we can get rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts without spending long time going over what’s happened.

So, keep safe and happy and let me know what your plans are and whether I can help.

Dr Bridget – helping you feel fulfilled and taking action towards  what you want.

Happy 2021!

P.S. My next NLP course starts in February – here is the link to find out more. A mind blowing, unsticking and success getting course.

 

 

 

An NLP Tool – The Hero’s Journey.

Taking a Hero’s Journey

Hero's Journey

Hero’s Journey

Hello.

This is a really useful tool to overcome obstacles on your way to your goal. It is an adaptation of Joseph’s Campbell’s tool developed in 1949 and follows a structure that we can see in many tales and films. The Hero’s Journey.

Encompassing goals, obstacles, villains and mentors, it gives us a tool to be able to cross thresholds and reach our goals. Watch the video and then use the tool to realise your dreams.


In the Hero’s Journey, the hero has a goal to reach which may be to find a princess or capture a castle or round up baddies.

If you get several pieces of paper on the floor  so that you can walk the hero’s journey, you’ll have many lightbulb moments and cross the threshold that  you previously couldn’t cross.

Papers needed:-

  1. Your goal
  2. Now
  3. Your threshold – see the video for where to place this
  4. List of your mentors or role models
  5. A list of the villains – internal or external

Follow the instructions in the video to be able to cross the threshold and complete your Hero’s Journey.

This is a brilliant tool and is very kinaesthetic when you walk it out on the floor. Perhaps think about asking someone to buddy up with you and supporting each other to resolve  barriers and threshold issues so that you can reach teh goals that you have set yourself.

This is a technique I teach on my Time Line Therapy, Hypnosis and NLP Coach course. If you’d like to join a course, here’s the link for the certified NLP Practitioner course

If you find you still can’t cross your threshold, let me know and we can talk it through and start you off on this Hero’s journey.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – keeping you travelling, in business and life

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Make Sure You Get Your Goal – Part 2

Making Sure You Get Your Goal

Get Your Goal

Get Your Goal

Last weeks video was all about how to make your goal really compelling and then putting it into your unconscious  mind. Today is about how to get your goal. Here’s a link to last week’s blog if you missed it. 

You now need to take appropriate and consistent action  to get your goal, and that is not sitting there and waiting for it to happen. After all, if we want a pizza, we don’t sit there and visualize it and expect it to turn up. We ring the pizza restaurant and it arrives. I think I’m right in saying that?

Having said that, we need to keep that picture of our goal in our mind, consciously and unconsciously. One of my NLP course attendees has a manifestation wall where she puts all of the pictures of her goal. I think I’m going to do that. A vision board or a screensaver works just as well.

So have a look at the video and then take the action listed below it.

Here’s what to do in my view.

  1. Create that picture in your head by following the last video’s instructions.
  2. Tell 10 people that you are going to do this – on Social Media, friends, family, colleagues
  3. Make a plan – start with the end in mind. So I want to set up a Community Interest Company (CIC) in South Wales to help people who are stuck and have had trauma of some sort in their life. So working backwards, I’ll need clients, somewhere to see them, a structure to work from, planning to put a structure up, research into funding,  setting up the CIC, research into how to set a CIC up and then to start with, getting some help to do that. I’ve now got the help which was the 1st thing and will be setting it up soon.
  4. Organise your time and tasks. I work in 90 day sections and also use the power of 3. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next 90 days. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next month. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next week. 3 things I’ll be achieving in the next day. Even the next hour.
  5.  Keep checking in with your goal – are  you on track? or have you wandered off track?
  6. Make sure that you have got rid of any limiting beliefs that are getting in your way – ask me for help with these.

Basically it comes down to:

  • Set your Goals
  • Visualize your Goals
  • Take consistent and focused actions
  • Believe in  yourself.

If you need help, just ask or send me a message here 

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to get your goals.

How to Make your Unconscious Behaviours Conscious

Unconscious behaviours

Unconscious behaviours

Hello – I’m wondering if you are aware that most of behaviours are unconscious? Also our emotions are created by our unconscious mind- it’s difficult to be sad just by deciding to be.

Moving on from this we can accept that our unconscious behaviours will either get us the result that we want or one that we don’t want. So if we make our unconscious behaviours conscious, then we can start to notice patterns and change them consciously

Have a watch of the video and then reflect below:

 Behaviours that are often an issue for people include:

  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Doubt
  • Hiding
  • Distracting

And many more

In my book, Mindset for Business Success, one of the techniques I suggest as a time management tool will help to make our behaviours conscious.

  • List everything  (and I mean everything) that you do for a whole day.
  • Go through the list when you have finished and think about your goal. Work out which are helpful and which aren’t helpful.
  • Notice any patterns that are helpful or not helpful
  • Raise your awareness until your unconscious behaviours are conscious
  • Repeat weekly until you are consciously aware of what is happening

If you have anything going on in  your behaviour that is not useful and you can’t resolve it, get in touch! It takes 63 days to resolve a minor habit or pattern consciously but if you work with your unconscious mind, it takes less than an hour. If the pattern is a deep emotional pattern, it is also easy to rewire that thinking, so get in touch. My 1:1 coaching and my NLP training are both very effective.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you work with your unconscious mind

Resilience – how to increase it

Resilience

Be Strong

Many of my blogs come from things that happen to me or my clients or in the world. Recently, I have had some events happen that have had the potential to cause me to put negative things in my thinking – I call them tests from the universe.  My clients have also had tests and have been in touch for support. I’ve done quite a few blogs in the past on resilience and thought it is so important for people. So I’m reiterating the main points

Watch the video and then think about the points below.
Diff MOW – values be

  • People have all got a different Model of the World with their own beliefs and values and behaviours. If you accept that and be curious rather than negative then that will help
  • Make sure that you are on the right train track – is your track heading  you towards your goals that you are totally invested in. If you are wishywashy, then at times of challenge, you won’t be able to use that strong pull towarfs your goals.
  • Notice when things are not going well by taking account of your physiology, body posture and your emotional state and doing something about it – its called having sensory acuity – we teach this on NLP courses.
  • Believe in yourself 10/10 and then take actions that are in line with that self belief
  • Surround yourself with people who you trust
  • And then simply keep going! Take the action towards your goals and enjoy life!

    If you have any issues or challenges with resilience and you want to run them past me, click here to book a free session. We can talk and find out whats going on and let you know how I can help.

    So – Take care, keep strong, go for it!
    Dr Bridget – here for you