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Are you in charge of your life? Find out here

Are you in charge of your life?

Where are you on the scale? A 1 or a 10?

Charge

Are you in charge

One question that tends to makes people stop and think is; “Are you at cause or are you at effect?”.

Being at cause means that you are in charge of your life. You have control and whether you end up with good results or bed results, you are the one responsible for the outcome. It is your life.

Being at effect means that other things, people or events are in charge of you. This means that you are constantly being dragged away from your own goals and taken off on tangents by other forces. In the end, it makes it not possible to achieve your goals efficiently and can result in unhappiness and an unfulfilled life. Whether it’s a partner, the kids or the government, who is taking control of your life, are they to blame or you to blame for letting them?

In this week’s video I go into cause vs effect in more detail and provide a way to help you fully understand where you fall on the scale.

What was your score? My gut instinct is that if you are below an 8, you are close to your life being ruled by others and you may want to consider what you can do to improve it and become more at cause. Click here to get more information about being at cause or effect and my tips on what you could do to be more at cause.

If you would like a quick fix on taking control and finding success, you can talk to me on 01656 347027 or click here to fill in a form and arrange a FREE consultation.

Until next time, here’s to taking responsibility and control!

Dr. Bridget

Are you focusing on the wrong things? Find out here

What are you focussing on?

The right things or the wrong things?

Broody hen with no focus

Focus

When something grabs our attention, we focus on it and pour our energy into it. But sometimes these activities are not helpful, and could actually be stopping us from reaching our life goal, happiness and/or success.

Focusing on the wrong tasks can actually derail us from our path to success and result in a detour. It can leave us feeling tired and stuck, and unhappy when we don’t see any progress in our lives but yet we are still using a lot of our energy.

In this week’s prescription for success video I have the help of broody Barbara (as pictured!) to help me demonstrate what the negative effect of having a particular focus can have on your life.

If you would like to find out if your focus is benefiting you or holding you back, then click here to download a helpful table. This table will be able to help you decide whether you need to change your focus or not.

If you change your focus, you WILL change your results.

If you do fill out the table, I would love to know what you found out. Is your focus on the right or wrong things and are you therefore getting the results you want? Or don’t want? And are you going to make a change? Let me know in the comments!

If you need help in changing your focus and reaching succeed, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or click here to fill in a form and claim a FREE consultation.

Until next time, happy brooding!!

Dr. Bridget

3 Reasons to Be Authentic and What Happens if you are not

What are 3 reasons to be authentic?

And what is the impact of not being authentic?

ARe you being who you want to be?

Authentic

Most of my blogs are inspired by clients, and this week I took inspiration from a client who felt that the image that they portrayed to others wasn’t really who they were. So, they decided to do something about it!

They felt that when they weren’t being authentic, they weren’t at ease, they felt out of place and therefore this was rubbing off on their business and their success levels.

If you are not feeling at ease with yourself internally and what you are portraying to the outside world, then this attitude will be projected. The dis-ease will affect other people and they will be less attracted to you and working/interacting with you. This rejection can then lead to self-doubt and confusion, which is never good, therefore it needs a fix as soon as possible. And the only fix is being authentic and true to yourself!

The 3 main reasons to be authentic are:

  • Feeling at ease and happy with yourself
  • Feeling more confident
  • This happiness and positivity will be projected and you will see more success in your life, business or career

For me personally, it has taken a while to figure out who I think I am and be that person, and I certainly feel uncomfortable if I’m not living in line with my core values and beliefs, and if I allow my boundaries to be crossed.

In this week’s video, which you can find just below, I discuss one of my clients who is whole heartedly himself and doesn’t fit into the stereotype his job sometimes has or how other people expect him to be. He decided that to be authentic and jump out of a plane for charity, from which he rediscovered the buzz that had been missing from his life.

I would like to thank my client, Martin, for agreeing to share his experience – and I’m sure you agree, that he is being himself and is proud of it.

If you think that you are being who other people want you to be rather than who you want to be, make a decision to find out exactly who you are and what is important to you.

It is ok to be yourself and you will lead a much happier life if you do just that.

If you are struggling to find you, or if you know who you are but struggling to portray it and would like some help becoming authentic, give me a ring on 01656 347027 or 07973 635102.

You can also click here to fill in a form and we can arrange a FREE consultation.

If you are feeling stuck – check out the rest of my website to find out how I can help.

Until next time, just be you!

Dr. Bridget

 

The impact of your expectations is huge!

Expectations

Expectations

Expectations

I have Two Questions for you:

Are you someone that expects good things to happen or bad things?

Do you find that what you expect is what you get??

Here’s a task for you: – Have you ever thought about whether your mindset effects the outcomes of a task or situation? One day this week, I want you to really think about what outcomes you expect from each situation, be that good or bad, and then make a note of what you expected and what the outcomes to those situations are.

Whether your mind set is focused positively and you expect good outcomes, or negatively and you expect bad outcomes, is crucial to the results, and therefore has an effect on your enjoyment of life.

I recently had a client who made all of his decisions based on the “what ifs”, focusing on the negative outcomes that could happen and therefore tailoring his approach to them. This resulted in him only having outcomes that were sub-par to what he wanted to achieve. After meeting with me he began making decisions based on what he wanted to happen, the ‘what ifs’ seemed to be less relevant and he could then focus on the great expectations he had.

If you are preparing for the worst, chances are that you will end up stuck on that level – your mindset truly effects the outcomes.

Watch the video below where I talk about one of my 1st NLP Training participants and where she has reached her dream goals because of shift in how she views her expectations.

Perform the task mentioned at the beginning of this prescription and if you are always expecting the worst to happen and you’d like to take action on your mindset, give me a call on 01656 347027. Or click here to fill in a form for a FREE discovery consultation and I’ll get straight back to you.

As discussed in the video NLP training inspired Sharon to live her dream, if you would like to hear more from Sharon about her experience with NLP click here to watch and interview.

Until next time, take charge of what you want and expect to get it!!

Dr. Bridget

 

Is guilt holding you back?

Is guilt holding you back?

Guilt - usful or not?

Is guilt holding you back?

I’ve helped quite a few people recently who were allowing guilt to hold them back.

Until they came to see me, they felt stuck and unable to break free and it was affecting their happiness and confidence.

If this is something that you, or someone you know is suffering from, then please point them in my direction – in this blog I am going to discuss how to move forward.

It may be a controversial view but, to me, guilt is more about other people than about you. If you have been doing the best that you can and you have been using the resources that you have available to you, then its more about other people’s model of the world, or society’s model of the world, and their projection of that onto you.

Perhaps you’ve behaved in a way that other people haven’t liked or didn’t expect, as long as you weren’t aiming to upset people, you have done nothing wrong. Everyone has a different view and model of the world because they have been brought up differently and we have different values and beliefs. This can, let’s face it, make people judgmental of other people’s views if they don’t align with their own. But what is important to remember here is, that other people may not like what you do or who you are, BUT that’s ok!

Perhaps, you could apologise for upsetting them and explain that wasn’t your intention, but then you need to move on! And let go! Don’t carry the guilt passed on by them with you.

For a more in-depth look into the issue of guilt watch the video below where Dr Bridget discusses this:

If you need help moving on from negative events in the past that have caused you to feel stuck, give me a ring on 01656 347027 or click here to fill in a contact form. We can arrange a FREE consultation to discuss your issues and find a way for you to move forward and reach your full potential.

Sometimes our unconscious mind needs help to move on.

Honestly, life is for living, not for being stuck in negative emotions such as guilt!

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget

 

Is anyone on your side? – Who do you get support from?

Who do you get support from?

Support i important

Get support

As you go through life, things happen around you that can make you feel really emotional. Sometimes, I find it difficult to show my emotions – after all, a coach “should” be in a great place all of the time. But, being authentic and honest, I admit that I do get upset from time to time.

And, as mentioned being “the coach”, I have struggled to find people who I can openly bare my feelings to but I’ve recently found a small group of people who I can talk to. Not only has it allowed me to gain greater perspective and feel supported, but it has also helped me become stronger for my clients and be of better support to them, my family and friends.

This week in my Prescriptions for Success’ vlog I discuss this, my own struggle to find support and the importance of getting the right support from the people around you. If you are struggling to find the right kind of support, click here to download a pdf copy of my book where there is a tool called ABCD in chapter 2.

This tool allows you to work through your contact list and sort them into categories – with the people placed in the “A” category being those you can rely on and those who will positively support you.

If after watching the video, you find yourself thinking that you need more support, then you can always ring me on 01656 347027 and I will get straight back to you. We can have a chat and I will be there to support you through your journey.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget – part of your A Team!

How to change your emotional state – fast!

Emotional state change

Change your emotional state

Changing your emotional state fast – some easy ways to do this

My state of tiredness usually comes on at the end of the day and it has a number of negative effects on my behaviour. Some of these are:

  • I collapse on sofa and have regrets in the morning from not being proactive the evening before
  • I procrastinate and put things off that need to be done
  • I drink more wine than I should in the hope that it will give me more energy (applies to sugary foods as well)
  • I argue and I am irritable with the dog, cat and husband
  • I fail to ring friends and my mum – sorry mum!

Our emotional state affects our physiology, our behaviour and the results we are trying to achieve. In this week’s video I explain the importance of having a positive emotional state and why it is worth making a conscious effort to change ours. I even show you ways in which you can change yours – and quickly!

We can change our emotional state in many ways and in my video below I show you just a few of the ways that I like to change mine – it’s a bit embarrassing! But it really is helpful!

If you are struggling to change your emotional state and feel stuck in a rut and like you can’t move forward, give me a ring on 01656 347027. We can have a chat about what’s causing it and what you could change to make a difference.

If you want a longer explanation and deeper look at changing your emotional state have a look at one of my previous videos: “how you get results”  – it will be able to help you fully understand.

When you are having a down day, how do you change your emotional state? If you are able to talk about it let me know in the comments, I would love to hear about them!

Until next time – good luck changing negatives to positives,

Dr. Bridget

Your Purpose- Why not knowing it is costly!

Your Purpose

Purpose for living

Find your purpose!

I regularly talk to my clients about their purpose and during a session recently I realised that I hadn’t got mine quite right – it was a bit of a light bulb moment for me!

Here’s the thing – if you don’t know your purpose and don’t have a clear image of what it is, then what you do may not feel quite right and it can result in you feeling dissatisfied and out of line. This feeling can then lead to frustration and less success than you want. 

In the video below I discuss my purpose and how you can find out what your purpose is. You can also download my book which discusses finding your purpose in more detail – click here to download a FREE copy of my book.

 

Her are my steps on how to find your purpose:

  1. Brainstorm ideas: on a piece of paper or via a discussion with a trusted colleague, come up with some ideas or metaphors or symbols that you believe represent you.
  2. Ask yourself which one seems right, feels right or resonates with you the most.
  3. Live with this thought for a while and continually think about whether it is the reason that you exist and tweak it if needed, once you begin to investigate it more.

I would love to know what you find, let me know in the comments. If you are having trouble with this task and need help to go through it, why not book in for a FREE consultation with me and we can discuss it together.

After you find your purpose you need to ask yourself, are you living in line with that purpose? If you are in business, does your business line up with your purpose? If not, how can you adapt your business so that you feel more aligned?

Again – if you are struggling with this concept I can always help you work through it!

By the way, my purpose, which you can read about in my book is to help people reach their full potential, in the past session I discovers it is more specifically: to be amazed – my purpose it to be around and see things that WOW me! And helping people reach their full potential is something that supplies me with this feeling. The picture I like that expresses that is below.

My purpose

If you would like to learn more about purpose, come along to my Business Mastermind classes or I can coach you privately,  call me on 01656 347027 to discuss either.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget

Where do you do your best creative thinking? Are you finding the right space?

this oneAre You Finding The Right Space?

I recently bought a time travelling space orbit for my garden (see picture), it allows me a space that is just mine, in a peaceful area and since I’ve done that, I’ve firmed up, created my future and feel very focused and constructive. So I have a question for you:

Where do you most of your creative thinking? Mine is out my garden in my little seated area (see picture). Is yours where you have calm or do you try and do it in a space that has distractions and can lead to lots of intrusive thoughts?

If you are yet to find the perfect space that allows you to get your creative juices flowing, it could be impacting negatively on your growth, perspective and even your sanity! If you don’t have an area to reflect and be at ease, how are you living to your full potential?

 Watch my video below and then ask yourself the question that follow. 

To ensure that you are working to the best of your ability you need to work out these few things:

  1. What do you think is right for you? Quiet? Stationary to make notes? A physical space? A walk?
  2. Work out how often you need to do to be able to retreat to your perfect space, it could be every day or every week – it could be at a specific time or when ever you feel it is called for. There is no right or wrong, but having that space has great positive impacts. 

I personally like to have paper, pens, sometimes glitter or glue and magazines, this allows me to note down what I think of and create. But sometimes I also enjoy just me and space. It is important to make a commitment to finding your perfect creative space and taking the time to go there.

Let me know what your perfect space is in the comments! I would love to hear about everyone’s different spaces.

If you are struggling to find that space and don’t feel like you are reaching your full potential, give me a call on 01656 347027 or click here to book a free consultation. 

Until next week, keep creative!

Dr. Bridget

NLP tips to maintain your motivation

Motivation is a very personal thing. What motivates you, whether money, a deadline, penalty or reward may not motivate another person.

Motivation can also vary from day-to-day. One day you can feel highly motivated to do something and next day, before you know it, that motivation has vanished. Read more

Do You Follow Up? Here’s Why You Should.

Following Up – Just Do It

Why aren't you you following up?

Following up

I meet a lot of people who say that they are going to do something and never get around to it, and I find it really interesting to think about why this could be. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past but now I make sure that following up is a priority, and it has made a huge difference to my business and my mind-set.

People who don’t follow up on actions can come across as a bit disrespectful and it is damaging to the trust that was originally there at the beginning of relationships. Not following up can be detrimental to your business! By not continuing the contact it could mean that you are missing out on a sale, or a lead to something you want to happen!

There is a theme in Neuro Linguistic Programming which says that there are either:

RESULTS or REASONS AND EXCUSES

And I know which I would rather have! Just think of the amount of time that can go into setting up meetings or getting the initial interaction with, only to not follow up afterwards! What a waste!

I usually find that my clients have 2 main reasons or excuses for not following up.

Watch my video below where I discuss these reasons and the repercussions they can have!

The reasons why people don’t follow up tend to fall into two categories:

  1. Mindreading – this is when you claim to know what is going on in another person’s head. You think that you might contact them at an inconvenient time or that you are bothering them or that they are not interested. But – YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW! You are just assuming. These people are may actually be waiting for you to follow up and feel frustrated and annoyed when you don’t.
  2. A limiting belief – this is where you say to yourself “I’ve not got time” or “I’m not that interesting” or “I’m not good enough” or “they will go with another supplier of the service who is better/cheaper than me”. If you don’t believe you have time, then find a way to manage your time more efficiently – could be as simple as buying a diary. If you feel that you aren’t interesting or good enough, this is a much deeper issue, although the fix can be just as quick and easy. I would love to help you, I offer free consultations and we can start changing that mind set together!

So, stop mind reading, believe in yourself, make time and simply follow up – you never know what is waiting on the other end of the phone call!

If you’d like to know more about the themes of NLP, then click here to find a list of the courses I offer.

Until next time – enjoy the rewards of following up!

Dr. Bridget

Communication Can be Frustrating – Here’s a Tool to Help

Communication with others can be frustrating-don’t you think?

Here is one of the reasons why:

Communication

Communication skills

We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to our language and communication, and if others have a different comfort zone, it can often seem as though we are on a “different page”, or in extreme cases, on a “different planet”!!

A large part of my NLP Practitioner courses is spent looking at and analysing the effective use of language and communication. A really fun part of this is what is called chunking. Chunking is the way we organize information in our brains and how we communicate, e.g. big picture or detailed, we all have different levels of chunking and it is also often context specific.

I am often a fairly big picture thinker but then I can get really detailed nearer the deadline for action. If I’m talking to someone who is very detailed at the beginning of a project, I can get a bit frustrated. And I’m sure that if you are detailed, you’d be a bit confused and frustrated by me at times.

In this big old world, we have no control over the type of person we will have to communicate with in our day to day lives, so it is really helpful to learn what to do about mismatching chunk levels and how to utilize them.

If you have a high chunk conversation (big picture), there is much more likely to be agreement with people. If you have a more detailed conversation (low chunk), then there is more likely to be disagreement but there is more opportunity ti solve problems at a detailed level.

Have a watch of the video below and then read the questions that you can use to become more flexible and communicate effectively. Call me if you want to find out more.

Here are some simple questions to use to gain a rapport with someone and to reach an agreement or solve a problem via your communication.

If someone that you are talking to is being very detailed or specific, you can use these questions to chunk up:

  • X for what purpose?
  • What will X give you?
  • What is X and example of?

If you want to find out details or solve a problem, you can chunk down and ask:

  1. X- what specifically?
  2. X – when or how specifically?
  3. What’s an example of X?

For example, is someone is “upset”, you can chunk down by asking “what specifically are you upset by?”

You could also chunk up by asking “What did being upset give you?” and if they say “I defended myself”, you can say “what is the purpose for defending yourself” and they might say “so that I feel safe” and so on.

It’s really interesting and useful.

And if you want to get into rapport with someone, match their chunk size and level of detail or bigger picture thinking.

If you’d like to come on an NLP course to learn more about communication and how you can improve yours, I offer easy monthly payments and a guarantee that you will have fun and learn communication skills with a wide variety of tools. Click here to get in touch.

Please feel free to share – I found out at the weekend that someone got a job as a direct result of watching one of my videos.

That’s my purpose – to make a difference!

Dr Bridget