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Boundaries

The Importance of Keeping Boundaries

Boundaries are important for success

Boundaries

Keeping your boundaries

Hello – today I’m going to talk about boundaries.

They are the things that either keep you small, that keep you where you are, or enable you to become empowered and leading the life that you want. Many people that I talk to are clients that have made some big leaps towards their goals and are feeling happy and are doing the actions needed to stay fulfilled and living their life to the full. However, if they don’t sort out and keep their boundaries following the work that we do, then they can stop progressing and even go backwards.

And people who are stuck or feeling as though they are getting in their own way have often got people, their environment or even the media affecting their thinking and creating blocks to progress.

The sort of boundary that I’m talking about is something that, if crossed,  lowers your emotional state, stops you from taking action towards what you want and can create conflict in your mind. It’s something (virtual) that you put around you to prevent these things from happening. Have a watch of the video below and then reflect on your own boundaries

The questions that I have for you are:

  • Do you feel as though you are moving towards what you want in your life?
  • If not, are there people or things that are stopping you from doing that?
  • Do you know what these things are?
  • What actions do you need to take to keep these boundaries?

Here are some thoughts about actions that you can take:

Positive people – make sure that you either don’t interact with negative people or give them some feedback so that they change their behaviour. Sometimes we don’t tell people how we feel and therefore they have no idea that we are upset or in doubt. Find some really awesome support.

Positive environment – If your environment is not positive- your office, your home, your other environments that you regularly use- then make some changes and see how that affects your behaviours. You’ll know if that is the case.

Positive beliefs and values – If you have negative beliefs, then they will cause you to feel low and not take action. If you can’t get rid of these, let me know and I can help you change them to empowering beliefs.

Positive mindset –  This consists of useful values, empowering beliefs, having positive memories, having great strategies and behaviours and , of course, keeping your boundaries.

You can work with me to get that positive mindset by contacting me and having an initial free chat where we can discuss where you want to be and what might be stopping you. I will then tell you how I can help  you.

Also NLP Practitioner training is a great way of learning those skills to keep great boundaries and you will have lots of supportive people to work with as well. Click here to find out about our next course.

Till next week

Dr Bridget- keeping you moving

behaviour

People Aren’t their Behaviour

People aren’t their behaviour

behaviour

Behaviours

This is so important for our relationships with people in our life and also for our relationship with ourself. It is so easy to look at someone’s behaviour and judge them or fall out with them without truly understanding what is going on for that person. It also applies to ourself as well – maybe we’ve behaved in a way that is unusual for us and we think ” I need to change that!”

Reasons for behaving in ways that cause judgement of others or concerns about our own behaviour are many. Here are just two of them:

  1. People can be in a highly emotionally charged state when they are hungry or thirsty or tired or in pain. This then makes their reality different to when they are calm and considered. So they may become very angry or sad or frightened much more easily in this state and any slight trigger will cause them to behave in a way we are not used to
  2. The way people’s thoughts and feelings have been wired by events in the past, their values or their beliefs. Decisions are made which become beliefs and cause a reality to exist that has consequences for people’s behaviours or their results.

I was talking to a client the other day who had a mistrust of people which he had decided as a result of a painful event in the past. This became something that he “looked out for” and which was having serious consequences.

The crunch point came when he was in a networking meeting with a friend and his friend said something. It took him right back to the original event where he had made the decision that he couldn’t trust people. The result was that he completely lost the plot and also lost his friend and the respect of other people in the room.

So he arrived in my office and asked for help. It was easy to sort out with a breakthrough process using Time Line Therapy (R).  And he recovered his friends and collegaues and started to trust people again very quickly.

So the things to learn from this are:

  1. People aren’t their behaviours- behaviours are not people’s identity
  2. People have different models of the world and are doing the best they can with their available resources.
  3. Judging people by their behaviours is unhelpful and can cause misunderstandings
  4. If you have a behaviour that you don’t like, get some help from me to manage your emotional states or change your wiring. It doesn’t take long.
  5. Watching people’s behaviours becomes interesting if you lose the judgement
  6. Working with Dr Bridget, either 1:1 or by taking an NLP Training, enables you to be in charge of your life

Until next week

Dr Bridget – finding people’s behaviours interesting

Beach

Why is it so Hard to Keep Up those Important Habits

Those Important Habits – why are they so difficult to keep up?

HabitsJust for a second, lets be clear what I mean by useful habits – those such as exercise, fluid intake, journaling, following up on contacts made, accounting and so on. I’m sure the list is endless and I’m also sure that some people – maybe not you – do other habits that are harmful in our eyes that may be useful to them as well. (That’s a bit of a big statement which I believe to be true – after all in NLP terms, every behaviour has a positive intention)

The bit of our brain that has been given the function of keeping habits going is the Occipito-frontal  area. This is an important part of the brain that keeps us consistently doing things – good or bad alike. I’ve thought long and hard about this and, as I’ve just bought yet another planner! I’ve come up with 4 ways to help myself and you to nurture “good habits” Have a watch of the video and find out what they are underneath.

  1. Trick your brain by being consistent with good habits – make time each day to do them and become consistent
  2. Change your environment – if you relax in an area of your house, find a different area to do those things that need focus and thought. A coffee shop or a part of the garden or your office may work better for you.
  3. Keep your habits that you are working on to yourself – apparently the brain sees telling people as the habit nearly finished and takes its focus of the habit
  4. Do things in bite sized chunks- the brain releases dopamine, a feel good hormone, when you finish something- so do bits at a time so that you get that feel good factor. I guess it also fits with Starting with the end in mind and the Pomodora technique.

I’m sure we all want to be successful and feel good, so let’s have a think about what we want as a habit and follow the steps above to embed it. Also my NLP Practitioner course has a huge amount of ways that we can use our brain to create and keep habits by getting the unconscious mind on board and changing the pictures in your head so that the habit becomes a new pattern very quickly. I run 4 courses a year so have a look at the details of this life changing course and let me now of you have any questions

As always , if you want to talk about how you can create your present and your future book a free consultation here.

Until next week- leave me some comments and get in touch if you want to chat or change your life.

Dr Bridget

Vision Board

How to do a Vision Board and Why

How to do a Vision Board

Vision Board

Dr B’s Board

I’m guessing that most of you have done a vision board at some stage in your life- whether that was a scrap book when you were young or in a workshop or just for fun! and doing one is extremely powerful! The action of doing a vision board means that you have committed to looking at your life in all aspects and also that you want to get motivated and celebrate. I often run sessions with my mastermind group and recently joined in and did one myself – you can see it in the picture above. It has given me focus and daily reminders of what I am doing in my business and also why – very important.

Watch the video below and then find out how to do one.

What you can do a vision board about:

  • Who you are
  • Where you want to travel to
  • Memories of previous events
  • Your life or business goals
  • Anything really
Vision Board

Vision Board

How do you do one:

  • Get a canvas board or similar
  • Maybe find other people that want to do one
  • Get a wide variety of pens, paint and other stationary (love stationary shopping!) – I have also used pasta in one of mine
  • Buy or borrow magazines – a wide variety of subjects and find some scissors and glue
  • Remind yourself of your goals
  • Work out what motivates you – your values and what you believe- empowering beliefs

And then just start and see what happens- make it fun!

Let me know when you have done a vision board and what you discovered about yourself by doing it- its usually loads

Then make sure you have it somewhere where it inspires you every day!

Examples of other boards done by my mastermind group:

Go for it and let me know how you get on!

If you’d like to join a mastermind group and develop yourself to develop your business, contact me here

Dr Bridget

 

 

Crossroads. Don’t be cross, be excited!

forking-road-839830_640A crossroads is about change. It is a time to choose between two different options which seemingly cannot co-exist. Do we want to go one way or the other? Continue down the path we are on or decide on something different? Read more