Tag Archive for: communication
How to be successful in networking.
This week’s prescription follows on from last week’s where we were discussing consciousness. If you bring consciousness into your networking then you will be successful.
In this week’s Prescription for Success, I share with you some top tips on how to get the best out of networking and be successful. Watch the video and try the tips for yourself.
The three Cs for Networking
One of the ideas that I use in networking is by using the “3 Cs ”
1. Having Clarity – This is the offering, who you are looking for and what you are going to say.
2. Connections – Being yourself, showing up as yourself and really wanting to get into rapport.
3. Consistency – Showing up at the networking event and then following up.
Being successful at networking events is really about habits. Here are some more tips:
- Stay visible by engaging and having 1:1s with people.
- Ensure that whoever refers to you are kept updated on what has happened.
- Ask for the business – people sometimes stop short at this point, they build up an amazing rapport and don’t follow through and ask for a sale.
- Be organised.
- Look out for others and give back.
While this is a more practical Prescription it’s also about being present while you are networking and having that best intention for other people and this will get you success in networking.
I’d like to network with any of you, it’s great to get to know people, so get in touch with me because there is always something good that can happen as the result of a chat.
ooking forward to chatting with you.
Dr Bridget – looking forward to chatting with you.
P.S. I’m running an NLP course in November from the 5-8th plus 26-29th – a great way to get to know yourself and increase your confidence in working with others. Here’s a link to the course information where you can also download a brochure for dates and prices.
Qualities of a Good Leader
Hi – There are some basic qualities to being a good leader. By leader, I mean in business, in your career or at home – there are times when you want to be inspiring and motivating people – right?
The post has been inspired by having some time to look at my vision for my business and life, and then reflect on whether I am leading people towards my vision or even communicating about it.
Having worked on my own for most of my business life, with people who help me with certain parts, I’m reflecting that I don’t always display the traits that will help me to motivate others to come along with me on the journey. Hence this post – I always learn from what I write about!
Watch the video below and then read about the 5 steps:
These are the 5 steps:
- Creating the Vision – I am creating my 3 year vision so that I can talk about it to people – reading The Vision Driven Leader by Michael Hyatt has helped a lot. I want to enable all people to use NLP to gain skills and reach their potential across the UK – that is the basis of my vision although its not as clear or detailed as I would like at the moment (watch this space).
- Create a Strategy or a plan – Once you have that vision, its important to have a strategy of how you are going to get there. Then you know where to start and what steps to take in what order. It is helpful to work backwards from your vision – starting with the end in mind.
- Communicate well – It may be helpful to communicate with others as you go along, but definitely tell people about the vision and then get some help with the strategy. Because people have different models of the world, keep people focused on the why – the vision and gain agreement at that level. Get feedback and reflect with others on your progress. Keep making sure that you are heading for your vision.
- Support people – during periods of change, peoples values can change and limitations can start to appear. It’s important to understand your own values and beliefs and those of others. Listen to concerns and have those conversations that show people that you care and are supporting them.
- Maintain momentum– I have a strong feeling that my momentum can be a bit up and down. This probably leads to confusion amongst people who are supporting me and probably for me as well. Have reguar meetings and feedback sessions and check that you are moving towards your vision. I am here if you feel stuck and that you can’t do this, simply contact me for a free session for insights into how you get stuck and how I can help you move forward.
So these are the 5 steps and you can apply them to any project. In the video I talk about how to lead a project of growing vegetables – I’ll let you know how that goes in a few months time – we are just waiting for the seeds to arrive. (I have everything crossed)
If you’d like to gain extra communication and understanding people skills, my NLP courses are A MUST – here’s a link to the course page.
See you next week and please comment if you have any questions.
Dr Bridget – Inspiring you to lead in many situations
Getting Rid of Confusion
Do you get confused? I know I do, and I often don’t know how to get out of it. And I often get confused by others’ confusion- if you see what I mean.
How do you help people get rid of their confusion? Here’s a quick tip to help them, and who knows- maybe yourself as well? Helping yourself and others to get clarity is a great skill.
Watch the video (by the way I’m sitting in our motorhome – just in case you were confused) and then try the question out:
So, the question to ask is “I’m confused and I don’t know what you’re talking about – can you explain?”
They then have to “go inside” – that’s thinking it through in their mind and come up with an answer. That helps them to help you and gives them clarity at the same time.
You can use this in conversation, in coaching and in many situations so give it a go and if you are confused, let me know.
We are now booking for our next NLP Practitioner course and if you are interested in getting clarity , direction and solving any internal conflicts, have a peak here and let me know if you want to know anything else. The course also helps you to communicate really effectively to anyone.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget, helping you ask useful questions.
Top Tips for Remembering
We are learning every hour, every day, every conversation and I suspect that we don’t practice remembering the things that are useful to remember.
Life goes on and there are so many opportunities to learn. Sometimes we read things on-line, hard copy books, kindle books and we also listen to audios and watch things on social media. And we have many conversations. And we all learn in different ways. Watch the video below and then decide if you are going to follow my tip to remember effectively.
Ebbinghaus in 1885 published his forgetting curve hypothesis. He said that memory is not durable and that we forget things we learn in as little as an hour and, certainly by a day we’ve lost over 50% of these things. He also talks about how to keep your memory strong so that we can retain it for longer. I was running a mastermind group on this very topic last week and we concluded that learning material is so readily available to us on-line that maybe we make less effort to retain what we read or listen to.
We all committed to writing down the main 3 things that we learn every time we read or listen to something or have a conversation with someone.
If we did that then, we would increase the amount of time that we remembered things.
TIP – Write down 3 important things that you have learned after every reading, listening or conversation. Go back over what you have learned, that is important to you to retain, at the end of every day, or whatever time scale is practical to you.
Dr Bridget- remembering myself to you!
See you next week
P.S you can access a free session with me to have a conversation and find out how I can help you
Communication Challenges – understanding them
One of the ways in which we all differ is in the way that we communicate and this can cause challenges in relationships, actions that we take and our understanding of other people.
One of the filters that we use to deal with the vast amount of information coming into our senses are called metaprogrammes, of which there are 18. They may sound complicated but they aren’t and its simply a question of you understanding where you are on the scale of each.
The one that I am going to talk about today is whether people are literal or inferential speakers. So literal speakers are very direct and say exactly what they think and are specific about what they want.
Inferential speakers are very keen not to upset people and therefore tend to hint, imply and “go around the houses” when they speak. Inferential speaker might say ” Do you want a mint?” and literal speakers might say “You need to brush your teeth”. Inferential speakers might say ” Do you think we should look at other holidays” and a literal speaker would say ” I don’t want to go there”
The problem and challenge for inferential speakers is that they bend over backwards to not offend people and, in doing so, fail to get their message across and end up feeling frustrated or misunderstood. If you are a literal speaker, then people may get upset by your straight forwardness.
Watch the video below and ask yourself which you are.
You could ask other people what they think or simply observe people’s reactions to what you say. Then you can decide whether to adapt your communication – after all, the meaning of your communication is the results that you get.
If you are interested in the differences between people and would like to learn more about effective communication, have a look at my NLP Practitioner course and contact me to find out when the next courses are.
Happy communicating and catch up next week.
I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.
The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:
- I am Diabetic
- I am a Cancer sufferer
- I am Depressed
- I am Useless
- I am a Nuisance
- I’m just a Housewife
- I am in pieces
- My husband/wife/partner is part of me
These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.
If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details
Here are a couple of ways of changing this:
- Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
- I am doing poor blood sugar control
- I am doing the symptoms of cancer
- I am doing depression
- I am doing useless behaviour
- I am doing the functions of a housewife
This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.
2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”
What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?
So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.
Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:
- “I’m a good wife”
- I’m a good mother”
- “I’m a kind person”
- “I’m me and I like me”
Totally different perspectives!
There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect. Click here I am…….
Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me
Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!
Following Up – Just Do It
I meet a lot of people who say that they are going to do something and never get around to it, and I find it really interesting to think about why this could be. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past but now I make sure that following up is a priority, and it has made a huge difference to my business and my mind-set.
People who don’t follow up on actions can come across as a bit disrespectful and it is damaging to the trust that was originally there at the beginning of relationships. Not following up can be detrimental to your business! By not continuing the contact it could mean that you are missing out on a sale, or a lead to something you want to happen!
There is a theme in Neuro Linguistic Programming which says that there are either:
RESULTS or REASONS AND EXCUSES
And I know which I would rather have! Just think of the amount of time that can go into setting up meetings or getting the initial interaction with, only to not follow up afterwards! What a waste!
I usually find that my clients have 2 main reasons or excuses for not following up.
Watch my video below where I discuss these reasons and the repercussions they can have!
The reasons why people don’t follow up tend to fall into two categories:
- Mindreading – this is when you claim to know what is going on in another person’s head. You think that you might contact them at an inconvenient time or that you are bothering them or that they are not interested. But – YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW! You are just assuming. These people are may actually be waiting for you to follow up and feel frustrated and annoyed when you don’t.
- A limiting belief – this is where you say to yourself “I’ve not got time” or “I’m not that interesting” or “I’m not good enough” or “they will go with another supplier of the service who is better/cheaper than me”. If you don’t believe you have time, then find a way to manage your time more efficiently – could be as simple as buying a diary. If you feel that you aren’t interesting or good enough, this is a much deeper issue, although the fix can be just as quick and easy. I would love to help you, I offer free consultations and we can start changing that mind set together!
So, stop mind reading, believe in yourself, make time and simply follow up – you never know what is waiting on the other end of the phone call!
If you’d like to know more about the themes of NLP, then click here to find a list of the courses I offer.
Until next time – enjoy the rewards of following up!
Communication with others can be frustrating-don’t you think?
Here is one of the reasons why:
We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to our language and communication, and if others have a different comfort zone, it can often seem as though we are on a “different page”, or in extreme cases, on a “different planet”!!
A large part of my NLP Practitioner courses is spent looking at and analysing the effective use of language and communication. A really fun part of this is what is called chunking. Chunking is the way we organize information in our brains and how we communicate, e.g. big picture or detailed, we all have different levels of chunking and it is also often context specific.
I am often a fairly big picture thinker but then I can get really detailed nearer the deadline for action. If I’m talking to someone who is very detailed at the beginning of a project, I can get a bit frustrated. And I’m sure that if you are detailed, you’d be a bit confused and frustrated by me at times.
In this big old world, we have no control over the type of person we will have to communicate with in our day to day lives, so it is really helpful to learn what to do about mismatching chunk levels and how to utilize them.
If you have a high chunk conversation (big picture), there is much more likely to be agreement with people. If you have a more detailed conversation (low chunk), then there is more likely to be disagreement but there is more opportunity ti solve problems at a detailed level.
Have a watch of the video below and then read the questions that you can use to become more flexible and communicate effectively. Call me if you want to find out more.
Here are some simple questions to use to gain a rapport with someone and to reach an agreement or solve a problem via your communication.
If someone that you are talking to is being very detailed or specific, you can use these questions to chunk up:
- X for what purpose?
- What will X give you?
- What is X and example of?
If you want to find out details or solve a problem, you can chunk down and ask:
- X- what specifically?
- X – when or how specifically?
- What’s an example of X?
For example, is someone is “upset”, you can chunk down by asking “what specifically are you upset by?”
You could also chunk up by asking “What did being upset give you?” and if they say “I defended myself”, you can say “what is the purpose for defending yourself” and they might say “so that I feel safe” and so on.
It’s really interesting and useful.
And if you want to get into rapport with someone, match their chunk size and level of detail or bigger picture thinking.
If you’d like to come on an NLP course to learn more about communication and how you can improve yours, I offer easy monthly payments and a guarantee that you will have fun and learn communication skills with a wide variety of tools. Click here to get in touch.
Please feel free to share – I found out at the weekend that someone got a job as a direct result of watching one of my videos.
That’s my purpose – to make a difference!
Communicating effectively is very important for success in life and business, I’m sure you will agree!
Ive decided to share my learning from the mistakes of a large corporate company as I travelled the world
I had an interesting and very frustrating experience while abroad recently!
I was excited about going home and pleased when the airline announced that we could go to the departure gate, but 7 hours later and 25,000 miles from home, I felt shocked at the lack of communication and lack of care that the organisation showed us. I was still at the airport and it appeared that the airline staff didn’t know where the plane was, or how we were getting home and I had completely lost my confidence in the organisation. They weren’t communicating effectively! And those of you that know me, know that I rarely get frustrated or shocked!!
And because I run a business myself, and also want to be communicating effectively to my customers and clients, it made me stop and think about how I could improve my communication and my business success.How I could avoid people getting frustrated with me and how I was perceived.
Here are the 3 things that I will now pay even more attention to:
- Communicating effectively to clients, colleagues, and potential customers about the things that are important to them. Implicit in this is to find out what is important to customers and keep their values in mind when communicating effectively with them. Mind reading can be dangerous and doesn’t take account of others model of the world. Also it can cause frustration for the other person. Remember that “the meaning of communication is the result that you get”! There were 300 plus travellers on this flight and the majority of them had been affected adversely and felt frustrated and helpless.
- Keeping promises and, if unable to do so, let people know why, and what you will do to make things better. This needs careful planning because we also need to keep promises to ourselves, while delivering great service. When you are totally committed to being there for people, its also easy to overstretch yourself! Its also easy to forget what you have promised, especially if you are a big organisation and dealing with individuals. (This airline states “we always do our best to make you feel special – from the ……….. to the renowned personal service that sets us apart from other airlines.”)
- Say sorry if things don’t go as planned. Say sorry straight away and mean it. As long as you are doing your best and have the other person’s welfare at heart, that’s ok. And if you aren’t telling the truth as you know it, people will know. After 7 hours of being told that they didnt know what was happening, I don’t think they were telling the truth at the check – in desk.
The airline’s manager appeared 6 hours into the confusion, during which time, many people were trying to get information and find out how they were going to get connections for their onwards flight. The departure gate staff said they were unaware of what was going on or where the plane was (actually I found that a bit scary). My daughter in the UK googled the flight, told me where the plane was and our estimated time of departure, she also told me that the plane woud be re routed – not communicated either. It turned out (had been on the news) that the plane had overshot the runway and had to land elsewhere, leaving the cabin crew out of flying hours. They had then sent a new crew to fetch the plane which took some time. They were then out of their flying hours meaning that the plane had to pick up new crew on the way. And no-one know anything about any of this?? Of course, if they had told the passengers what they needed to know, kept their promise as an organisation and said sorry and meant it, people would have understood and stayed calm.
A lesson perhaps for the manager?
Lessons for our businesses and our communication with anyone?
So, how are you communcating with your customers, your partners, your family and friends? Do you know how to communicate with them? Are you keeping your promises? Do you say sorry when things go wrong? Can you do better than this airline?
Please share your experiences so that we can all reflect and get better at this important skill!
Let me know what you think and remember that you can always access a free consultation with me if you’d like to improve your communication.
Till next time