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An NLP Tool – The Hero’s Journey.

Taking a Hero’s Journey

Hero's Journey

Hero’s Journey

Hello.

This is a really useful tool to overcome obstacles on your way to your goal. It is an adaptation of Joseph’s Campbell’s tool developed in 1949 and follows a structure that we can see in many tales and films. The Hero’s Journey.

Encompassing goals, obstacles, villains and mentors, it gives us a tool to be able to cross thresholds and reach our goals. Watch the video and then use the tool to realise your dreams.


In the Hero’s Journey, the hero has a goal to reach which may be to find a princess or capture a castle or round up baddies.

If you get several pieces of paper on the floor  so that you can walk the hero’s journey, you’ll have many lightbulb moments and cross the threshold that  you previously couldn’t cross.

Papers needed:-

  1. Your goal
  2. Now
  3. Your threshold – see the video for where to place this
  4. List of your mentors or role models
  5. A list of the villains – internal or external

Follow the instructions in the video to be able to cross the threshold and complete your Hero’s Journey.

This is a brilliant tool and is very kinaesthetic when you walk it out on the floor. Perhaps think about asking someone to buddy up with you and supporting each other to resolve  barriers and threshold issues so that you can reach teh goals that you have set yourself.

This is a technique I teach on my Time Line Therapy, Hypnosis and NLP Coach course. If you’d like to join a course, here’s the link for the certified NLP Practitioner course

If you find you still can’t cross your threshold, let me know and we can talk it through and start you off on this Hero’s journey.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – keeping you travelling, in business and life

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Change the Direction of Thoughts using Language

Changing the Direction of  your Thoughts

Hello

Direction

Which way?

Everyone’s model of the world is different and we create our reality with our values, our beliefs, our experiences and our language. We also change our language depending on these filters and the world around us. The phrases that we say have a big impact on our motivation either in a negative way or a positive way. Watch the video and then reflect and use the tool I give you below.

There are some phrases that aren’t helpful in giving us positive direction- here are just a few of them:

  • I shouldn’t
  • I mustn’t
  • I oughtn’t  to

or

  • I can’t
  • I won’t

or

  • I couldn’t
  • I wouldn’t
  • I’d better not

When we say these phrases or any others like this, we create a reality for ourself, and others around us, that is negative and demotivating. And I’m sure that you’d like to change this.

If we said these phrases instead:

  • I can
  • I shall
  • I will
  • It’s time

Can you see how much more motivational they are?

So we can change the direction of our thoughts using these positive phrases.

Here’s an example: “I know you think that you shouldn’t and are sure that you can’t but it you take the time to consider the possibilities, maybe it’s time and you will definitely achieve what you want to do!”

The next time someone says to you “I can’t”, take them on a journey to “I can” and “I will”. They will be inspired and change their reality.

And if you find yourself using words that create a negative reality, take yourself on that journey as well.

If you find yourself unable to change your thoughts using words, get in touch and have a discovery session with me.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – pointing you in the right direction

 

 

 

 

Language – working with people’s metaphors

Language Creates our Reality

Hello.

Metaphors

Metaphors

Our language is a key factor in creating our emotions, our health and our behaviour, which we know leads to results. So VERY IMPORTANT. We can use it to increase our resilience, to gain rapport, to influence, negotiate and problem solve.

When we start to really listen to how people use their language and to notice the metaphors that they are using, then we can help people to create a different reality and start to understand their own and our own.

Watch the video and continue reading below it.

The sentences/phrases that I heard on the TV recently were:

  • The dust is settling
  • It’s a moveable feast

And these phrases were about Covid – I was confused by them- What dust I thought? Where is it settling? What sort of feast? I had a picture of a plate with pizza on it being handed around! -I know, I’m a bit strange

Then a client said to me

  • I’ve got fog in my head
  • I’ve been dealt a body blow

Such emotive language and so useful. I asked the client a couple of  questions which then uncovered the real meaning of what they were saying.

What sort of fog is that fog? And is there anything else about the fog?

It turned out that it was a grey swirly fog in his brain. Now NLP techniques can help that and we soon cleared it and had clarity instead.

With the body blow language I asked them. What sort of body blow is that body blow? They said – it’s my heart – it’s been cut in two.

So we also sorted that one  out. If I hadn’t asked the questions, it would have  been a totally different conversation.

So notice your metaphors, notice other peoples metaphors and use these 2 questions to delve deeper:

  • What sort of x is that x ?
  • And is there anything else about  x?

So language is fascinating and very useful to learn about.

Until next week, keep listening and get fascinated.

Dr Bridget – Unpicking your metaphors to help you create your life

P.S – We are now booking onto the NLP Practitioner course for February 2021 – this will be on-line

 

 

 

What’s of High Importance to You?

Are there gaps in your life that you are trying to fill?

High Importance

Gap

When we speak to people, sometimes we notice that there are things that are of high importance to them – often things that they haven’t got and are striving to get.

And maybe we notice them in our self – certainly I have recently been striving for support and people that I can open up to. This is probably a function of my husbands poor memory and COVID, but it’s been there for ages. It’s a pattern and it get’s triggered. Being an NLP Master Trainer, I’m very interested in it.

We can notice

  • The gap that we are trying to fill
  • The triggers that set off an emotional response to it
  • The patterns that we then run

Watch the video and then answer the questions for yourself:

Here are the questions and possible answers:

  1. What are you best at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?
  2. What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?

If you are worst at starting things, ask yourself: Who are you not being that you want to be?

If you are worst at changing things, ask yourself: What are you  not doing that you want to do?

If you are worst at stopping things, ask yourself: What do you not have that you want to have?

Notice if any of the answers to these questions bring up emotions for you. Also ask yourself if this is something that tends to affect your life across all segments?

Is it of High Importance

If so, ask yourself if this is something that you can solve yourself. If not , then get in touch as there are many NLP techniques that we can use to help you to get rid of the gap that brings up these emotions.

Get in touch if you need help and access a free session

Also get in touch if you want to help other people to solve these challenges and reactions by Learning NLP Skills

Until next week, have fun with the questions,

Dr Bridget – here to help

Why We Don’t Delegate

Do you Delegate?

Delegate

Grow a Pear

Two things prompted me to write this post this week.

  1. I was listening to someone else’s blog recently that said – We do more and more things ourselves until we realise that we are just rubbish at doing them- I thought – Yep- That’s me.
  2. I’ve finally delegated most of my administrative tasks to my Business Development/Admin Manager and it’s been life changing I must say. Why did I wait so long? It’s almost as though I’ve now cleared space for growth and also a work life balance.

Watch the video and see if any of these reasons apply to you:

I very clearly remember sitting in my log cabin office wondering  how to do my web site, how to do videos and how to network effectively. And that was 9 years ago. One of the 1st things I delegated was my videoing so thanks to Chris for that. I have also delegated my web site to people and that has worked really well – I have more clients now which has more than paid for it. Networking is now planned although COVID has changed some of that.

Our beliefs are usually the culprit for our difficulty delegating:

  • I’ve got to keep control
  • No-one does it as well as me
  • They may change my business and then leave
  • They may steal all of my ideas
  • It will be too expensive

I have done all of these beliefs and it kept me in the same place for ages.

Here are the reframes:

  • Communication about what’s important to you enables you to keep control
  • People definitely do it better than me – ask Chris – my video expert
  • Go with your gut instinct, keep great communication going and put some boundaries in
  • Your ideas are worth spreading. Put a contract in and enforce it if it’s important to you
  • My time is charged at a much higher rate than the people I delegate to so make sure that you use the freed up up time effectively

Really – we just need to GROW A PAIR and take action to delegate

If your beliefs are getting in the way and action doesn’t solve it, get in touch – it’s simple to change your programming about these things.

See you next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you permission to do what you do best and delegate.

P.S My next NLP Training is likely to be live and on-line.

Here’s the link to book to change your life.

 

P.S. I misspelt growing a PEAR – hence the picture

 

 

 

The Importance of Listening to Discover the Real Problem

What are your listening skills like?

Listening

2 ears

I sometimes watch  people talking to each other about an issue and get the impression that they are attempting to solve it in the same old, same old -yawn – way. And that’s because neither of them have been REALLY listening to each other. And , in the end, the conversation goes nowhere.

Watch the video and have a think about the scenarios below.

Have a think about the different responses to this question:

  1. I just can’t grow my business. Have you thought of taking a partner on? How about networking here? well you just need a VA. I had that problem once and this is what I did …………………………. Does that help the person? Probably not as theyve probably heard the same things and even tried them before.
  2. I just can’t grow my business. Tell me more. Every time I push forward this littel voice pops up in my head and says – You’re just not good enough. I’m getting annoyed with it now. The next question could be   – When did you decide that? Well, probably when my teacher told me I’d never  amount to much.

Hear the difference? The conversation then goes in a very different direction and the person who thinks they can’t grow their business has a ight bulb moment, someone who understands and a potential solution – just because the person listened.

So the next time you have a conversation with someone who has a challenge, problem or conflict, make sure you use your listening skills.

If you want to learn these skills, get in touch as my NLP Training courses teaches  you them.

If no-one is listening to you, get in touch as I’m a good listener and I get to the root cause of the problem really quickly and then help you to solve it.

See you next week.

Dr Bridget – My ears are always open  so that I can help you

Nothing Personal, or is it?

Are you taking this in a personal way?

Personal

It’s not personal

As always, I’d love to help you.

During the lock down, people have made some huge personal changes and have asked themselves whether they are in charge of their lives or not. How about you?

        • Have you been made redundant?
        • Are you changing roles?
        •  Are you working from home?
        • Can you travel?
        • Are you seeing the people you love?

The main way that I can help you is to help you to become in charge of your life.

Watch the video and have a think about whether you are in charge of your future or are you blaming other people?

When there is chaos, we tend to blame the government, the education system, our family, the doctors and many other people. And we get focused on blaming others

However , it’s down to you to say- that’s what I want.

There are several options:

  • You can face the future and say – That’s what I want and head for it with determination
  • You can say I don’t want that and gradually get dragged backwards
  • You can feel stuck because you want this and you don’t want that – a conflict

Which of these do you do?

I’d love to help you move towards what you want, but if your mindset makes that impossible, then get in touch so that we can turn you around.

Once you are in charge of your life and are facing forwards, you will fiind opportunities arise out of adversity.

If you live in Wales and have been made redundant, then let me know as you can undertake one of my courses to get extra skills and a job where you can make a real  difference. With ReAct funding.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making sure you are facing the right way

Concentrate on What You Can Change

Do You Concentrate  on what  you CAN change or what you CAN’T change?

Change

What CAN you change?

Hello

I’m interested in which you concentrate or focus on? Often my clients will have noticed that they are concentrating on  the things that they can’t change , and often can’t get them out of their head. And as you know, what you focus on is what you get, so I’m all about changing that pattern of thinking. If you’d like to do that as well, watch the video, have a think about whether this applies to someone you  know or even yourself and get in touch:

Often this pattern of negative thinking, or concentrating on what you can’t change, will last for days, weeks, months or often years and will eventually start  to affect the results in  your life and the people around you.

I’m OK with saying that it happens to me sometimes, and to clients that I’ve worked with, but it doesn’t last very long as our unconscious mind kicks in with the positive learnings. I’m generally a positive person who focuses on the future and positives and solutions.

I think this is why NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming- appeals to  me.

It helps us to find habitual patterns that don’t serve us and  remove them, leaving us free to concentrate on things we CAN change rather than things we can’t. And it’s not about what’s happened- it’s about what patterns need changing, and then changing them really quickly.

The difference between the change that counselling, or other talking therapies, give people and what NLP gives you is simple:

  • It’s quick and effective
  • You will be working with the part of your mind that is responsible for change –  your unconscious mind
  • It’s comfortable as it doesn’t focus on the story,  just the patterns

The way I help people to do this is either to come on an NLP course, where you learn new skills as well as change your habitual way of thinking and feeling, or to work with me on a 1:1 basis

Either way, everyone that works with me changes the patterns that are not helping them to get the future they want and deserve.

If you’d like to change the patterns that you are running in your head or your behaviour, then get in touch and let’s start that change process.

See you next week,

Dr Bridget – Focusing on positives.

 

What gets you Excited

What Gets You Excited?

Excited

Get Excited

Hello – How often do you get excited and motivated and how often do you feel listless and bored? One of the things that I teach my clients to do is to become aware of their emotions and the triggers for them. After all, if you notice what gets you excited you can do more of it! And if you notice what make syou bored or listless or upset, you can do less of it – right?

I always remember being asked to think of a time when I was totally motivated. It took me straight back to a time when I first started coaching and the amazing results the client achieved. I remember feeling like bouncing around the house.

Watch the video and then do the exercise described below.

I have recently sent off an application to set up a Community Interest Company – It’s going to be called the Trauma Breakthrough Collective -A not for profit organisation.  TBC – life to be continued – after any sort of emotional trauma. This is making me bounce around the house and I was thinking about why that was. Its because I will be working with a team of coaches and making more of a difference and will be a challenge – I enjoy those.

So I noticed that my head was buzzing and I felt really motivated and excited.

So I thought I’d invite you to make a list in the various areas of your life where you get really excited.

  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Business
  • Leisure
  • health
  • Personal development

In each of these areas, and there may be more, think of things that get you excited and motivated, write them  down somewhere that you can see them and tell people that you are close to.

You will be  far more likely to reach your goals in each area of your life and make choices that  help you be happy, fulfilled  and excited.

If you are struggling to get excited and you’d like some help. let me know and we can talk it through in a free chat.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, getting you motivated

 

 

 

Non-negotiables – the Importance of using them

Non-Negotiables

Non-negotiables

Non-negotiables

Hello – As  usual, my blogs come from my clients and  my own experiences and there have been a few recently. Or tests from the universe as I call them.

Non-negotiables are the things you will not negotiate on. They define not only what you will and won’t accept from others but they also align with your values and principles. They are the promises you keep to yourself, your family and your team. Only you can determine what they are and only you can manage them. And life would be a lot simpler if both ourselves and others knew what ours are.

I’m a grey person.  That comes from respecting people’s model of the world and  realising that everyone is doing the best they can, so, pretty tolerant generally. But recently, after several events that have happened, I’ve become a bit more black and white and that tends to be around communication and inclusion – I think my values  are changing

Have a watch of the video and reflect on what your non-negotiables are

Where have  your non-negotiables developed from? As a child we often just soak up things that are around us without really thinking whether they are good for us or not. We then start to experience negative emotions and think to ourself that we don’t want to experience that again or that we do want to experience that again.

If we come up against other peoples non negotiables then we learn and avoid those things or practice them if they are a positive I have non negotiables around behaviour at times. I’ve had a few people stop working with me with no explanation and while I still trust people, if they don’t communicate with me or respect my views, I tend to draw a line under them.

Here’s a task: Have a think about what has happened to you that you feel good or less good about.

My question to you – Do you have any behaviours that you don’t tolerate as a result of what’s happened to  you? Similarly, do you have any behaviours that you must have?

We will all be different  in our non-negotiables and that is fine. If you find yourself stuck and unable to move on and develop these for whatever reason, and we can talk that through in a free 1/2 hour session

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to be happy and strong.

Freedom versus Processes

Freedom versus Processes

Freedom

Be free

Hello. I’ve been running my business for 10 years and for that length of time I’ve been resisting setting up processes because I wanted freedom. In reality, I think I had spent nearly 30 years, following rules and processes and I’d had enough of it. I now regret this because I’ve realised that it is having the opposite effect.  If we take doing these videos as an example, the process is based around me coming up with some titles the night before. This means that it doesn’t give my team a chance to get them uploaded and titled in an efficient way. Annoying for them, I think.

Have a watch of the video and then reflect on how you manage the freedom versus processes scenario.


However, I’ve now got someone helping me and she is asking me, where is the process for x and y- in reality, they probably don’t exist.

I have an accountant that is asking me for financial processes as well. It’s hard work to put them in place, but it does make life easier and therefore freedom is a lot  more reachable.

I also sleep well and worry less about impending dead lines.

I’d like to ask you whether you have got the processes that you need in life, in your business or your career? What affect would having them have? Would you have freedom?

Here’s the solution:

  • Get some help from an expert
  • Delegate
  • Ask for help
  • Do a bit at a time

These things  give you the freedom to do other things which free up your time and get you success

I thoroughly recommend these solutions. However – if you need any help with your thought processes to enable you to do this, let me know and we can talk about whats getting in your way – it’s usually you- I expect you know that.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – giving you suggestions for freedom

How To Resolve Internal Conflict

Internal Conflict is Exhausting

conflict

part of me…

Internal conflict is common and can be disabling. If you have that internal chatter where part of you believes something and part of you believes something else, then its very difficult to resolve this at a conscious level. Its like having a battle going on in your head and causes stress, worry anxiety, indecision and sleepless nights. It can be disabling and gives  the feeling of being stuck.  Watch the video and think about whether you have this sort of conflict going on in your head.

 

Examples of this sort of conflict are:-

  • Part of me believes I’m good enough and part of me doesn’t – doesn’t take action
  • Sometimes I  believe I can be myself and sometimes I believe I can’t – lack of confidence
  • Part of me wants to say yes and part of me wants to say no – difficulty with boundaries
  • Sometimes I think its worth it and sometimes I don’t – common in business

Often people will feel as though they have one voice on one shoulder and another voice on the other and can point them out and even name them.

These conflicts are called parts in NLP and are created by significant emotional events. Either big events or lots of little ones. The part has a boundary around it and exists as an entity with it’s own values and beliefs and appearance.It thinks that it is in charge and is usually there to protect the person. It has a positive intention which is in conflict with its behaviour. For instance, if a part is causing anxiety it will be about protection. The protection will be to keep us safe. Safe will be so that we can be peaceful. Peaceful in order to live our life to the full. So anxiety is created for the  purpose of living our life to the full which doesn’t make sense. Once the part realises that there are many ways to keep us safe and live our life to the full, the boundary disappears and the part disappears much to peoples relief.

This is a process that often is best resolved with an NLP Master Practitioner and trainer such as myself at an unconscious level. Just get in touch to resolve this very quickly and get rid of that conflict.

This will mean that you are calm, are making decisions easily and effectively and are living your life to the full.

If you are a coach  that works with people who are struggling with conflicting beliefs, then have a think about how you deal with this at the moment and realise that this is an unconscious problem which comes from significant emotional events and have a look at my NLP Practitioner courses. Learning to get rid of parts will change your clients’ lives for ever. And your own.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again