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Is anyone on your side? – Who do you get support from?

Who do you get support from?

Support i important

Get support

As you go through life, things happen around you that can make you feel really emotional. Sometimes, I find it difficult to show my emotions – after all, a coach “should” be in a great place all of the time. But, being authentic and honest, I admit that I do get upset from time to time.

And, as mentioned being “the coach”, I have struggled to find people who I can openly bare my feelings to but I’ve recently found a small group of people who I can talk to. Not only has it allowed me to gain greater perspective and feel supported, but it has also helped me become stronger for my clients and be of better support to them, my family and friends.

This week in my Prescriptions for Success’ vlog I discuss this, my own struggle to find support and the importance of getting the right support from the people around you. If you are struggling to find the right kind of support, click here to download a pdf copy of my book where there is a tool called ABCD in chapter 2.

This tool allows you to work through your contact list and sort them into categories – with the people placed in the “A” category being those you can rely on and those who will positively support you.

If after watching this week’s video, you find yourself thinking that you need more support, then you can always ring me on 01656 347027 or click here to fill in a form online and I will get straight back to you. We can have a chat and I will be there to support you through your journey.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget – part of your A Team!

Gaining Agreement

AgreementGaining Agreement

You may have noticed that people around you appear to continually disagree with each other, even though you know they want the same thing  really. Sometimes this is because people are operating at a different “chunk size”. They are filtering the huge amount of information that comes into their brain in different ways depending on whether they want to know the BIG picture or the DETAIL. Let me give you examples. I saw two people recently who were struggling to communicate well with others. Inevitably they both thought that they were right, but here’s the thing- the meaning of your communication is the result that you get AND you have 100% responsibility for your communication. So here are two examples:

1. Someone who was in partnership with a colleague and they argued a lot. The one partner was very focused on goals and the reason for being in partnership, whereas the other partner needed to know the detail of what he was doing and didn’t really need to know the big picture. So they continually had conversations where one wanted to know whether they had reached a target and the other one was focused on making phonecalls to get work for the company at a detailed level. And they were driving each other mad- literally.

2. Someone who’s mother was very negative about most things whereas the daughter just wanted to get on with her life and be happy. When the daughter tried to make suggestions and say that there were choices, the mother became more agitated and the daughter became frustrated.

Here’s one solution:-

Find a level at which people can agree. In both of the examples, if the two people agreed on the big picture (at a high chunk size) then that would have been “better” communication. In the first case, they could have agreed that they wanted the company to succeed and in the second case that both wanted to be happy. It is then possible to get more specific (reduce the chunk size) and see if agreement is still possible. So, in order for the company to succeed, the two partners could have agreed that they were both different and that they needed to find a way of working together for success. The mum and daughter could have agreed that happiness meant different things to them and that they could still respect each other’s model of the world. Staying at a more general level usually means that more agreement is possible.

Here’s an exercise for you to do. Click on the picture below to access it

Agreement

Let me know if you want any help with this and any comments and examples would be useful.

Dr Bridget

Have a Happy Family Christmas

Prevention is better than Cure! 

When you listen to what people are saying about Christmas, is it excitement and anticipation that you hear, or dread and worry? Have a listen to others and yourself as well!

The hard times that many are going through at the moment with redundancies or uncertainties have added to some peoples and families stress. It is easy  to blame circumstances and others for how we feel, but actually we have choices, and Christmas is a time when we can practice using tools and techniques to change the way we think and therefore the results that we get.

If we do this and keep practicing, the effect on the rest of our life is enormous:- We are able to set goals, understand ourselves and others and take actions.

Have a read of my “Top 10 Tips to have a Happy Family Christmas” and take some action. I will be writing about these tips in more detail in coming blogs.

Dr Bridget