Posts

Comfort Zones – Are they Good or Bad?

Comfort Zones Is it good to be stuck in our ‘Comfort Zones?’

It’s common to hear in the business world, “I really need to get out of my comfort zone, I’m aspiring towards my goals and to get there I need to get out of my comfort zone.”

Recently I was way out of mine and I noticed something very interesting.

I had employed someone to set up some systems and admin for me and then out of the blue that person left and handed all the work back to me. At the time I thought, “I could learn to do this, maybe I could manage this by myself.”  In all honesty I probably could have done it but I didn’t consider the extra work from a time perspective. Suddenly, my work balance went completely Kaput!

People have different ‘brick walls’ where you can see the end result and you just can’t get there. I found that I couldn’t cope and I became uncomfortable, I was completely out of my comfort zone.  So what I did was I returned to where I felt comfortable, and I thought “phew, blimey that’s better.”

Watch this week’s video to find more about the benefits of being in your comfort zones.

It’s hard for people to see at times that being in your comfort zone is not a bad thing. It is okay to be comfortable. When you’re in your comfort zone you are more self aware and it’s easier to know what’s going on inside your head. You know what to expect and you can recognise your capabilities in a stress free environment.

I’m all for people reaching their full potential and expanding and growing, but if you want success you don’t have to throw yourself completely out of your comfort zone.

You can do it gradually, increase the difficulty slowly and when it becomes too much too soon, just slowly take a step back, do things differently or even repeat things. Find out what works for you at your own pace it’s a gradual process there is no need to rush.

Sometimes you can have goals and aspirations that are reachable, but if you rush in you can get stuck. Take your time on your journey, plan your route to suit you!

If you are currently stuck get in touch and you can talk to me about comfort zones and how past decisions have helped form your comfort zone. I can also help you to gradually leave your zone at your own pace.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you grow at the pace that suits you and that you are happy with.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

The meaning of “I’m only human!”

I'm only human

I’m only human after all!

What do we mean when we say ‘I’m only human!

‘I’m only human!’ It’s a brilliant song by Rag & Bone Man – I really like it.  But what does it mean?

It’s the sort of thing we say when we feel we are not perfect and we are justifying some sort of behaviour.

So I thought I’d look up a little bit more about perfection. Apparently 30% of the population really want to be 100% perfect. 87% of gifted humans, whatever ‘gifted humans’ means, do perfection really well. The people who are looking for perfection are looking for an ideal relationship, and ideal mate. They want to be flawless and have a great body. They want to do their business perfectly.

However, what we don’t see is that they are struggling underneath to get this perfection. They are just aspiring to it.

Sometimes striving to be perfect can be a blessing because it lifts your mood and it helps you to achieve things but generally I think it is a painful trap.

Watch this week’s video to find more about the affects of striving to be perfect

I get quite a lot of clients coming to me who perhaps have been brought up to aspire to perfection by their parents.

I always remember one client coming to see me and she used to get 97% in her exams when she was young. Her parents used to say what happened to the 3%?  She was then constantly trying to be perfect for the rest of her life and it just wasn’t working.  She got caught in that painful trap.

It’s almost like their self worth is dependent on that perfectionism.

If you know someone who does this or you do it yourself, ask yourself when did you decide everything has to be perfect. Who decides what perfect is anyway. What’s perfect for one person may not be perfect for another.

So, I just want to ask you can we simply accept that everyone is different. That you are worthy, that it’s ok to be you and to tell people that you are going to be you, and it’s ok to surround yourself with people that don’t expect you to be perfect all the time.

So – ditch the perfectionism. Know that you are only human and if you need some help in doing that then get in touch because I do breakthroughs with people where we just get rid of that perfection and you can be you, doing whatever you want to do in life.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you are yourself and happy with that.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

Is Regret Part of Your Life?

regret

Is regret part of your life?

Do you live with regret?

I was in my mastermind group recently and we were asking lots of questions and solving lots of issues and the subject of  ‘regrets’ came up. I thought “what is regret?”.

It’s when you’re sad or disappointed, when you think that perhaps you haven’t done something yourself, or when you’ve done something and it hasn’t gone well.  And what happens is that you make that decision then to regret things.

The thing is it can be all consuming and what we do is  blame ourselves rather than actually seeing the behaviour in a bigger context.

Also, when you’ve got regrets it stops you from living your life and it’s one of the causes of self sabotage.

If you’re busy avoiding pain you’re not going to put yourself out there and do what you really want to do. You’re just keeping yourself safe and keeping yourself from being sad and disappointed and having  further regrets.

Watch this week’s video to find more about the NLP perspective on having regrets.

– From an NLP perspective, we say that everyone is doing the best they can with all their available resources at any time.  People’s resources are the internal things such as values, beliefs, emotions and anything they’ve  got hooked onto memories-the positives and the negatives.

All these things give you a model of the world and you’re doing the best you can with that.

 – We’re all different, we all do different things, we all believe different things therefore, so if we are interacting with other people, at some stage other people are not going to like what we’ve done, and we may end up doing regret.

Also, people are not their behaviour so whatever we do, whatever everyone else does, it’s not the person themselves it’s just the filtering that people are doing in that moment.

So, you could beat yourself up and say, “What if I did do that?” and “That’s the consequence of that” or “What if I hadn’t done that?”

But here’s the thing – you’re never going to know because things happen around you and if you hadn’t done that, something else would have happened and that might have been worse.

It’s about letting go of regret, stopping yourself from keeping yourself safe and just knowing that you did your best at the time and moving on. Look forward to what you want for your goals.

I ask you “What do you want on your gravestone”? “I spent my life in regret,” or “I just did what I wanted and let the regret go.”

So if you’re stuck in regret, get in touch because within a few hours we can have a explore it, get some insight into it, understand it and then resolve it so that you can live the life that you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life without regret

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure

Allowing Yourself to be Supported

support

Allowing yourself to be supported

Do you allow yourself to be supported?

Do you allow yourself to be supported by yourself or by others?

It’s been a tricky year with COVID and I think people’s mental health hasn’t perhaps been as good as it was before. Sometimes I hear people say “there is no one around to talk to anymore”.

Things happen around us and we start to get some negative chatter in our head. We feel that we need support but, here’s the thing,  could we take care of ourselves?

How about supporting ourselves first?

When I’ve asked for help from others sometimes they are busy, or sometimes they just give advice and it doesn’t necessarily help. So, I think the important thing is to care of yourself and be ok with being on your own, be ok with just being yourself.

Watch this week’s video and then complete the tasks below

  • Take a look at your strengths
    • What are your strengths?
    • Make a list of your strengths.
  • Look at the people in your life
    • Are they the right people?
    • Do they listen to you or not?
    • Are they enabling you or just thinking about themselves?
  • Recognise any patterns of internal chatter that’s going on in your head
    • Write your negative chatter thoughts down
    • Then be aware that you are actually worth a lot more than you think.

These actions will  allow you to support yourself and what usually happens is that other people then turn up to help you as well.  When you think about it, what you put out there is what you get back- It’s called Perception is Projection in NLP.  So, if you’ve got doubts and negative emotions then you get doubt and negative emotions back.  Alternatively if you’re ok with yourself people will be around for you.

If you are struggling with any of this, if you don’t think you are worthy or you’ve got a lot of negative chatter that stops you supporting yourself, or you think that you are just a victim with others being responsible for your emotions,  then get in touch  this can all be sorted out in just a few hours. Then you can truly live the life you want.

I hope you do that – look after yourself and support yourself in the best way that you can.

Until next week

Dr Bridget- helping  you to lead a life where you support yourself.

P.S I’m booking people into my next Certified NLP Practitioner  course in July/August.

Click here to find out more and download a brochure