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How to Change the Direction of Thoughts using Language

Changing the Direction of  your Thoughts

Hello

Direction

Which way?

Everyone’s model of the world is different and we create our reality with our values, our beliefs, our experiences and our language. We also change our language depending on these filters and the world around us. The phrases that we say have a big impact on our motivation either in a negative way or a positive way. Watch the video and then reflect and use the tool I give you below.

There are some phrases that aren’t helpful in giving us positive direction- here are just a few of them:

  • I shouldn’t
  • I mustn’t
  • I oughtn’t  to

or

  • I can’t
  • I won’t

or

  • I couldn’t
  • I wouldn’t
  • I’d better not

When we say these phrases or any others like this, we create a reality for ourself, and others around us, that is negative and demotivating. And I’m sure that you’d like to change this.

If we said these phrases instead:

  • I can
  • I shall
  • I will
  • It’s time

Can you see how much more motivational they are?

So we can change the direction of our thoughts using these positive phrases.

Here’s an example: “I know you think that you shouldn’t and are sure that you can’t but it you take the time to consider the possibilities, maybe it’s time and you will definitely achieve what you want to do!”

The next time someone says to you “I can’t”, take them on a journey to “I can” and “I will”. They will be inspired and change their reality.

And if you find yourself using words that create a negative reality, take yourself on that journey as well.

If you find yourself unable to change your thoughts using words, get in touch and have a discovery session with me.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – pointing you in the right direction

 

 

 

 

Language – working with people’s metaphors

Language Creates our Reality

Hello.

Metaphors

Metaphors

Our language is a key factor in creating our emotions, our health and our behaviour, which we know leads to results. So VERY IMPORTANT. We can use it to increase our resilience, to gain rapport, to influence, negotiate and problem solve.

When we start to really listen to how people use their language and to notice the metaphors that they are using, then we can help people to create a different reality and start to understand their own and our own.

Watch the video and continue reading below it.

The sentences/phrases that I heard on the TV recently were:

  • The dust is settling
  • It’s a moveable feast

And these phrases were about Covid – I was confused by them- What dust I thought? Where is it settling? What sort of feast? I had a picture of a plate with pizza on it being handed around! -I know, I’m a bit strange

Then a client said to me

  • I’ve got fog in my head
  • I’ve been dealt a body blow

Such emotive language and so useful. I asked the client a couple of  questions which then uncovered the real meaning of what they were saying.

What sort of fog is that fog? And is there anything else about the fog?

It turned out that it was a grey swirly fog in his brain. Now NLP techniques can help that and we soon cleared it and had clarity instead.

With the body blow language I asked them. What sort of body blow is that body blow? They said – it’s my heart – it’s been cut in two.

So we also sorted that one  out. If I hadn’t asked the questions, it would have  been a totally different conversation.

So notice your metaphors, notice other peoples metaphors and use these 2 questions to delve deeper:

  • What sort of x is that x ?
  • And is there anything else about  x?

So language is fascinating and very useful to learn about.

Until next week, keep listening and get fascinated.

Dr Bridget – Unpicking your metaphors to help you create your life

P.S – We are now booking onto the NLP Practitioner course for February 2021 – this will be on-line

 

 

 

A Common Language Pattern That Can Be Unhelpful

Language patterns

Language patterns

The Language We Use

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.

The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:

  • I am Diabetic
  • I am a Cancer sufferer
  • I am Depressed
  • I am Useless
  • I am a Nuisance
  • I’m just a Housewife
  • I am in pieces
  • My husband/wife/partner is part of me

These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.

If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details 

Here are a couple of ways of changing this:

  1. Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
  • I am doing poor blood sugar control
  • I am doing the symptoms of cancer
  • I am doing depression
  • I am doing useless behaviour
  • I am doing the functions of a housewife

This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.

2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”

What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?

So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.

Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:

  • “I’m a good wife”
  • I’m a good mother”
  • “I’m a kind person”
  • “I’m me and I like me”

Totally different perspectives!

There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect.  Click here I am…….

Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me 

Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!

Dr Bridget