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Why cutting out the garbage is useful

Cut out the garbage

Why cutting out the garbage is useful

This week is a bit of a personal one, I’m not very good at tidying and currently I’m about to get help from Katie Killoran to deal with this.

If everything is piled up together then you can’t distinguish between what is needed and what isn’t.  You find that you don’t have any focus, you can’t make a plan and it’s much more difficult to make decisions. Moreover, if your garbage is mixed up with all the important things you need, then life is definitely more challenging.

In this week’s prescription for success I look at how cutting out the garbage in our lives can be useful. Watch the video and follow the tips below.

The definition of garbage is basically rubbish or waste. So then, garbage could be paperwork, things around the home, people or even advice. Indeed there are all sorts of things that can we label as either waste or resources.

The things that need tidying we generally place into piles whether that is a physical pile or a mental pile. We often need help to sort these out and identify what parts are waste and what are needed and then throw the garbage away and keep what is useful.

It’s really good to have a system that:

  1. Identifies what is garbage and then avoids it.  For example you may have people around you that drain your energy or you may have lots of advice from other people that isn’t particularly helpful.
  2.  Identifies what is useful which you need to keep. You will have a gut feeling for what is useful or not. For example only keep the paper you need and find a place to keep it, also for the people around you that are not helpful remove them and get people who have your values and support you.

Cutting out the garbage is a bit of a metaphor for life. If you can’t get rid of your rubbish or are having difficulty sorting out the rubbish and what is useful resources then get in touch. I do a free half hour session so that you can get to know me and we can discuss your needs.

I also run NLP courses (click on the link) that can give you the skills to sort the garbage and cut out what’s not needed.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Helping you tidy up your life!

How to Understand Your Emotions

Emotional state

Understanding your emotions

There are several models in psychology and NLP about understanding your emotions but the one I want us to focus on this week is a two dimensional model. This model is really useful because if you can understand and grade your emotions, you’ll then realise what you need to do to change your emotions and this really is empowering.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to unpack this two-dimensional model for you and explain how being aware of your emotions can benefit you. Watch the video and work through the different examples below as this is an interesting way of looking at it and awareness is key.

 

The two dimensional model takes account of:

  1. Valence – which is attractiveness, whether something is good or bad, positive or negative, it’s the subjective attractiveness of the emotion.
  2. Arousal – which refers to whether you are energetic or lethargic, wakeful or sleepy

Valence, is that subjective feeling. For example just because something is good or bad it doesn’t mean it is good or bad for you or for someone else.

Similarly, with arousal if you have negative feelings such as fear or anger they may appear negative but they actually could be really motivating for you.  Alternatively, you may have what are considered as positive feelings like relaxed or calm but these might potentially be preventing you from taking action.

So let’s consider this in a little more detail looking at the different combinations of Arousal and Valence

High Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Astonished, Excited, Delighted, Happy, Pleased

High Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Content, Serene, Calm, Relaxed

Low Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Annoyed, Afraid, Angry, Frustrated

Low Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Miserable, Depressed, Bored, Tired

Two dimensional Model of Emotion

Maybe if you knew which  you were doing at any one time, you could choose to do a different combination?

If you find that you are not managing your emotions then please get in touch here or give me a call on 07973 635102   –  I’m a “chief unsticker” and sometimes these negatives get in our way,  I can help you to manage your emotions, no matter where they have come from  so that you can live the life you want and have the business you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – On an emotional roll!

Why hope matters

Hope matters

Why does hope matter?

When I first came across this concept about ‘Why hope matters’ in an article I was reading, I was a little unsure about it.  The reason for my uncertainty was that I think that using words like ‘try’, ‘maybe’, ‘wish’ or ‘hope’,  isn’t very positive or effective. This is because our unconscious mind thinks ‘it might not happen’ or ‘it doesn’t really matter’.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you some really interesting insights into ‘why hope matters’  when it comes to creating your future reality.  Watch the video and consider below your attitude and stance when it comes to ‘hope’.

Someone who is hopeful is someone who is radically realistic.

I can never decide whether I’m a ‘glass half empty’ or a ‘glass half full’ type of person. I think of myself as being really positive but I do also consider what the obstacles might be and then mitigate against them.  In the article it  actually stated that someone who is hopeful looks at obstacles and makes plans to get around them. Whew – that’s a relief!

It’s also reassuring that leaders inspire hope in both themselves and others and it gives them their purpose.

Ask yourself:

Are you a ‘High Hoper’?

‘High hopers’ take action, they withstand discomfort or pain, they are equipped for diversity. Hope gives us drive and is goal directed.

There are three things that ‘High Hopers’ have:

  1. Destination – they have highly developed goals.
  2. Route – they know how they are going to get to their goals.
  3. Means of Transport – they know how they are going to do it,  how they are going achieve their goals.

Whereas “Low Hopers’ tend to generalise about their destination so they may know where they are going but are unclear about it . They may have an idea about how they are going to get there but are vague about their actions.

So I want to ask you which would you rather be – a ‘High Hoper’ – ‘Low Hoper’ or maybe somewhere in the middle.

Think about whether you are:

  • clear about your destination;
  • clear about your route;
  • and clear about the means of transport.

If you are not clear about any of these and your really want to be a ‘High Hoper’ and a high achiever then get in touch or give me a call on  07973 635102 as there are lots of things that can get in your way and I’m really skilled in getting rid of those for you.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Hoping you get in touch!

3 Things You Want to be True by the End of 2021

What 3 things do you want  to be true?

Three things

Three things

Hey – I know its  been a hard year and I want to congratulate you for getting through it and working on your resilience and self belief!

And I hope you made the best of the few days off.

I’m not a big fan of just planning in the New Year as I believe we should be doing this throughout the year. However, if you choose 3 things that you want to be true by the end of the year, that will help you enormously with your business and life success and your mental wellness.

Watch the video and then choose your 3 things. If you fancy letting me know what they are, that would be brilliant- you will inspire me as well!

Click here for the things to help you set some really compelling goals.

Personally, I have 3 things that I want to achieve – I have a lot of specifics that I haven’t included but I have them written down and they are clear in my unconscious mind. And I know that I am going to get them. Notice how I’ve put myself there already.

So it’s 31st December 2021 and I am:

  1. Running my two companies successfully. This is my Dr Bridget NLP Limited company which is continuing to make a different to people’s lives and businesses. Also the Trauma Breakthrough Collective Community Interest Company which is about quickly removing emotions surrounding people’s traumatic experiences.
  2. I am organised and effective so that I can enjoy my time on my 2 other goals. My paper work is filed and organised and my plans for the day, week, month and quarter  are clear in my head and being acted on.
  3. Spending time with  my husband doing projects and going on holiday. We have been on 2 holidays and have finished a variety of projects which we planned in January 2021.

I have enjoyed the last year and feel fulfilled , clear and excited about 2022.

Click here for my more detailed plan for my 3 things which fits with the keys to compelling outcomes. This is me holding myself accountable to you as well so feel free to do the same back on info@drbridgetnlp.com

Here’s the thing – Once you have your 3 things that are really compelling, you can work backwards from the end and then everything will fit as it will all line up. Next weeks blog is about how to do exactly that. (Working with the End in Mind)

Here is the tool to help you set goals and to read mine

If you are struggling to find 3 things, then click here to get in touch. Often we have reasons and excuses that stop us from believing that setting goals is possible. This is generally you getting on your own way, and we can sort that out very quickly. The really great thing about NLP is that we can get rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts without spending long time going over what’s happened.

So, keep safe and happy and let me know what your plans are and whether I can help.

Dr Bridget – helping you feel fulfilled and taking action towards  what you want.

Happy 2021!

P.S. My next NLP course starts in February – here is the link to find out more. A mind blowing, unsticking and success getting course.

 

 

 

A Christmas Message and Review of Your Year

A tool to review your year (and a Christmas song)

Happy Christmas – and Nadolig Llawen – That’s Welsh

Review of the Year

Review of the Year

I want to thank all of you who have been clients or have watched my videos over the last year! It’s been fun! And whatever you are doing over the next 2 weeks, make the most of it!

Today I have an offer for you and a tool to review your  year. The basis of the tool is using neurological levels (a Robert Dilts tool) It is also based on what went well and what went less well

Watch the video and then work through the levels and think about what action you would like to take to make next year even better!

Click on this link to get the review tool Review of the year

LEVELS

  • Environment – what’s surrounding you – things and people. Do you need to change your environment?
  • Behaviour – what so you want do more of and less of?
  • Capabilities and skills – what have you used that worked well and what have you forgotten about or need to refine?
  • Values – what motivates you and are you “ticking” your values?  Here’s a link to elicit your values from a chapter in my book. Make sure that you are ticking your values rather than those of other people
  • Beliefs – are your beliefs empowering or limiting – what can you do to make sure they are empowering for next year?
  • Identity – who are you – are you showing up as yourself or not?
  • Purpose – what are you on the planet for – do you know? My purpose is to enjoy every minute of my life and that’s whay I work with you all as I enjoy it and it’s making a huge difference to both mine and others’s life.

Offer – If you are struggling I will do a one hour coaching session with you to talk about your review of the year – go to my contact page and fill in the form or book an appointment.

I hope you enjoyed the song on the video – thats me being me! It seemed appropriate as I’m the Chief Unsticker.

If you are stuck or know someone who is stuck get in touch so that next year is totally what you want it to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping  you review your potential

 

 

How to Improve Remembering – top tips

Top Tips for Remembering

rememberingWe are learning every hour, every day, every conversation and I suspect that we don’t practice remembering the things that are useful to remember.

Life goes on and there are so many opportunities to learn. Sometimes we read things on-line, hard copy books, kindle books and we also listen to audios and watch things on social media. And we have many conversations. And we all learn in different ways. Watch the video below and then decide if you are going to follow my tip to remember effectively.

Ebbinghaus in 1885 published his forgetting curve hypothesis. He said that memory is not durable and that we forget things we learn in as little as an hour and, certainly by a day we’ve lost over 50% of these things. He also talks about how to keep your memory strong so that we can retain it for longer. I was running a mastermind group on this very topic last week and we concluded that learning material is so readily available to us on-line that maybe we make less effort to retain what we read or listen to.

We all committed to writing down the main 3 things that we learn every time we read or listen to something or have a conversation with someone.

If we did that then, we would increase the amount of time that we remembered things.

TIP – Write down 3 important things that you have learned after every reading, listening or conversation.  Go back over what you have learned, that is important to you to retain, at the end of every day, or whatever time scale is practical to you.

Dr Bridget- remembering myself to you!

See you next week

P.S you can access a free session with me to have a conversation and find out how I can help you

 

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

Does Labelling Yourself Affect Your Results?

Labelling yourself – does it help?

labellling

What’s your Label?

Labelling is needed to cope with the vast amount of information that we have coming into our senses. If we don’t label things, we don’t know how to deal with them or what sort of behaviour we need to do to go with the label. However it sometimes is unhelpful to label things or yourself – as this blog will show you.

I was recently working with someone who had some challenges with his mindset for success, relating to things that has happened to him previously in his life. We had got rid of his negative emotions and he was doing well. However, what we hadn’t dealt with was that his dad was a hard worker and my client had labelled himself as a type A personality. Hard working, striving, life imbalance and tendency to over-react sort of sums up the characteristics of an A type personality.

So he determinedly  labelled himself as an A person and therefore his behaviour went with that and eventually he hit a brick wall and spent 6 weeks in bed. It was very upsetting to hear about it, for his wife, his kids and his associates.

When we talked it became obvious that he was having a big conflict. Part of him thought he was an A type personality and  part of him wanted to be a B type personality – much more laid back and relaxed. This conflict got bigger and bigger and he eventuallly hit that brick wall. Watch the video where I talk about this conflict

As we explored the conflict, he realised that he could acually do both and that the purpose of the brick wall was to protect him while he sorted out the conflict.

Using an NLP technique called Parts Integration which gets rid of the conflict, he has now rediscovered his mojo and is enjoying his business and a balanced life.

I’d like to ask you:

Have you labelled yourself as anything unhelpful?

If so, have a careful think about it and either relabel yourself give me a ring if you are struggling with internal conflict.

Until next week, have a balance in your life!

Dr Bridget

An Effective Way to Deal with Anxiety

Anxiety can be disabling and cause you to get stuck

I’ve had quite a lot of phone calls recently from people who are feeling anxious. Sometimes they are on medication and have tried many ways to reduce the anxiety but it doesn’t seem to be doing the trick.

While it may be controversial to many who think that it is a medical condition and can’t be solved simply, I believe that it is easy to solve in many cases. After all, my experience as a GP versus how I help people now says that this is the case for many! Tad James, the founder of the American Board of NLP, says:

“Anxiety is a sign that the unconscious mind is not really focusing on what it really wants”

People with anxiety often have reasons or excuses as to why they can’t do what they really want and therefore become anxious. People also “label themselves” as anxious people and this doesn’t help as they then live their life expecting to be anxious. And they find it difficult to make decisions.

What if everyone could design their future by letting go of unhelpful and limiting things from the past and become happy??

Now there’s a thought!

Well that’s what I can help with, so watch the video below and click here to download the pdf of my book which discusses how to set goals and create your future. It’s called Mindset for Business Success and equally applies to Mindset for Life Success.

If you think that the anxiety in your life, or someone who you know, is causing you, or them, to be stuck and unhappy, click here to schedule a  free 30 minute telephone consultation so I can help.

After all, we only have one life and I want to help you live it!

Until next time, keep happy,

Dr. Bridget

When it all gets too much!

Is it All Too Much?

Recently a client was due to meet me and didn’t turn up (unusual) and it turned out that she had fallen asleep-her brain had just given up because there was just too much in her head. The issue was that she had too much in her head.

She had done some amazing work in breakthrough coaching with me and on NLP courses and was “transitioning” to doing what she really wanted to do. And of course there was still a mortgage to pay, bills to pay and holidays to take. It was all buzzing round in here head and it all got too much.

Watch the video to listen to what we talked about and the read about the tips I gave her underneath the video.

Make sure you have watched the video to get the tips in more detail.

Tip 1
Think about the bigger purpose of what you are doing and just check that your actions still tick your purpose

Tip 2
Do a brain dump to get things out of your head – write down absolutely everything that you have to do in any part of your life. Don’t judge the list -it may run to 3-4 pages. You can then start to group and prioritise

Tip 3
Get into peripheral vision -there is an explanation of how to do that on the video
It cuts down your negative chatter and you feel calm

Tip 4
Step out of your body and “watch yourself -like a fly on the wall” you’ll be amazed at much information you’ll get about what you are doing. It’s a dissociated state and therefore any negative emotions will disappear

If it’s all too much for you then book a free appointment to talk to me and become calm and focused on what you want in your life, business, career. Because you are worth it and I’d like to support you in your journey.

Here’s a  link to the Work With Me page and my next NLP course is 19-22nd October 2018 plus 9-12th November 2018. A truly life changing course with 2 spaces left!

Catch up next week

Dr Bridget

The Perils of Saying Yes All the Time

If you mean to Say NO and Say YES, then there may be consequences for you!

Say NO

Say No when you mean it

One of the main reasons that people come and see me for coaching is when they find they say yes when they want to say no. Its really interesting to think about why we do this (and I think most of us do to some extent)

  • Maybe we are people pleasers?
  • Maybe we want to be liked?
  • Could we be afraid  of the consequences?
  • Most likely, we are mind-reading what people would say or do?
  • Maybe things have happened to us in the past which makes us worry about the consequences of saying no?

And what are the consequence when we don’t say no?

  • Generally we feel uncomfortable
  • Anxiety kicks in when we are not being true to what we want
  • Then we can lose confidence, end up in a vicious circle and then start saying yes even more!

Watch the short video below and then read the tips underneath that will make you think and perhaps do things differently.

If any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to start to say no, here are some things that you could do:

  • Stop and think about when you do it
  • Say to the person, let me have a think about it
  • Take a step back and think about why you are doing it and whether it’s in line with your values and being yourself
  • Ask yourself what’s important to you about being you
  • Say no if that’s what you’ve decided, explain the reasons and how saying yes is making you feel. You can always find a great way of saying it!
  • Move on

If the person is unhappy, then maybe you need to move on from them???? – Just saying -and I know it depends who they are. – I’m an expert in mending relationships if you still want to keep them.

You could also take some responsibility for having said yes in the past – maybe the person is confused?

How about saying something like this – “I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with you and I haven’t always been totally honest with myself and have said yes when instinctively I have wanted to say no. I’ve realised now what I’m doing and I apologise for any confusion I’m causing. I hope you understand and that we can still have a good relationship”

Enjoy reflecting on this week’s blog! If you want some support to make changes, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or get in touch here 

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

What makes a great team?

What makes a great team?

Team

Team work

As you go about your life on a day to day basis and you look around, you will realise that you have more than one team around you. These  may be in your business, in your career, in your social life or  your leisure activities. Sometimes these will work well for you and sometimes they won’t. And often, it’s a gut feeling that tells you whether it does or not.

The definition of a team is “at least 2 or more members who get together with a common purpose to reach a goal and solve problems”.

Perhaps ask yourself – how do you know what makes a good team for you?

Sometimes its about having complimentary skills – for instance, I’m not a detail person so I have those to help me, which is helpful. In other instances it’s about making sure that the team feels right for you.

It also links with my ABCD tool which makes sure that you have positive committed support around you.

Watch the video below and have a reflect about whether you need to change your team or celebrate the fact that  you are pulling in the same direction.

Sometimes we have people around us who don’t have that same purpose and just feels wrong. We often ignore our gut instinct and carry on regardless, often with disastrous results. So have a think, watch my ABCD video and either relax because you have the right people, or change the people around you. Remember that you are the sum of the 5 people around you.

If you’d like to talk about your team to someone who is independent and interested in you doing the best you can in your business or life,contact me for a free consultation.

See you next week!

Dr Bridget