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When it all gets too much!

Is it All Too Much?

Recently a client was due to meet me and didn’t turn up (unusual) and it turned out that she had fallen asleep-her brain had just given up because there was just too much in her head. The issue was that she had too much in her head.

She had done some amazing work in breakthrough coaching with me and on NLP courses and was “transitioning” to doing what she really wanted to do. And of course there was still a mortgage to pay, bills to pay and holidays to take. It was all buzzing round in here head and it all got too much.

Watch the video to listen to what we talked about and the read about the tips I gave her underneath the video.

Make sure you have watched the video to get the tips in more detail.

Tip 1
Think about the bigger purpose of what you are doing and just check that your actions still tick your purpose

Tip 2
Do a brain dump to get things out of your head – write down absolutely everything that you have to do in any part of your life. Don’t judge the list -it may run to 3-4 pages. You can then start to group and prioritise

Tip 3
Get into peripheral vision -there is an explanation of how to do that on the video
It cuts down your negative chatter and you feel calm

Tip 4
Step out of your body and “watch yourself -like a fly on the wall” you’ll be amazed at much information you’ll get about what you are doing. It’s a dissociated state and therefore any negative emotions will disappear

If it’s all too much for you then book a free appointment to talk to me and become calm and focused on what you want in your life, business, career. Because you are worth it and I’d like to support you in your journey.

Here’s a  link to the Work With Me page and my next NLP course is 19-22nd October 2018 plus 9-12th November 2018. A truly life changing course with 2 spaces left!

Catch up next week

Dr Bridget

Say NO

The Perils of Saying Yes All the Time

If you mean to Say NO and Say YES, then there may be consequences for you!

Say NO

Say No when you mean it

One of the main reasons that people come and see me for coaching is when they find they say yes when they want to say no. Its really interesting to think about why we do this (and I think most of us do to some extent)

  • Maybe we are people pleasers?
  • Maybe we want to be liked?
  • Could we be afraid  of the consequences?
  • Most likely, we are mind-reading what people would say or do?
  • Maybe things have happened to us in the past which makes us worry about the consequences of saying no?

And what are the consequence when we don’t say no?

  • Generally we feel uncomfortable
  • Anxiety kicks in when we are not being true to what we want
  • Then we can lose confidence, end up in a vicious circle and then start saying yes even more!

Watch the short video below and then read the tips underneath that will make you think and perhaps do things differently.

If any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to start to say no, here are some things that you could do:

  • Stop and think about when you do it
  • Say to the person, let me have a think about it
  • Take a step back and think about why you are doing it and whether it’s in line with your values and being yourself
  • Ask yourself what’s important to you about being you
  • Say no if that’s what you’ve decided, explain the reasons and how saying yes is making you feel. You can always find a great way of saying it!
  • Move on

If the person is unhappy, then maybe you need to move on from them???? – Just saying -and I know it depends who they are. – I’m an expert in mending relationships if you still want to keep them.

You could also take some responsibility for having said yes in the past – maybe the person is confused?

How about saying something like this – “I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with you and I haven’t always been totally honest with myself and have said yes when instinctively I have wanted to say no. I’ve realised now what I’m doing and I apologise for any confusion I’m causing. I hope you understand and that we can still have a good relationship”

Enjoy reflecting on this week’s blog! If you want some support to make changes, give me a ring on 07973 635102 or get in touch here 

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

Team

What makes a great team?

What makes a great team?

Team

Team work

As you go about your life on a day to day basis and you look around, you will realise that you have more than one team around you. These  may be in your business, in your career, in your social life or  your leisure activities. Sometimes these will work well for you and sometimes they won’t. And often, it’s a gut feeling that tells you whether it does or not.

The definition of a team is “at least 2 or more members who get together with a common purpose to reach a goal and solve problems”.

Perhaps ask yourself – how do you know what makes a good team for you?

Sometimes its about having complimentary skills – for instance, I’m not a detail person so I have those to help me, which is helpful. In other instances it’s about making sure that the team feels right for you.

It also links with my ABCD tool which makes sure that you have positive committed support around you.

Watch the video below and have a reflect about whether you need to change your team or celebrate the fact that  you are pulling in the same direction.

Sometimes we have people around us who don’t have that same purpose and just feels wrong. We often ignore our gut instinct and carry on regardless, often with disastrous results. So have a think, watch my ABCD video and either relax because you have the right people, or change the people around you. Remember that you are the sum of the 5 people around you.

If you’d like to talk about your team to someone who is independent and interested in you doing the best you can in your business or life,contact me for a free consultation.

See you next week!

Dr Bridget

Weaknesses

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

Growth MIndset

Do You Have a Fixed or a Growth Mindset?

Do you have a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset?

Growth MIndset

Fixed or Growth Mindset?

I’ve been reading Carole Dweck’s book called “Mindset – the new psychology of success” recently and it has prompted me to look at my own mindset and develop a simple tool to decide which I have – A Fixed or a Growth Mindset – and  I would love to share it with you.

The trigger for this – I was in Sri Lanka a month or so ago and was feeling envious of some back packers that were passing by when our guide said to me “You are too old to go back packing! “ I felt defensive about it at the time and before I knew where I was, I had gathered my friends and colleagues to prove him wrong – At the time I thought this was a growth mindset, but when I sat and thought about it, it was more of a fixed mindset- an instinctive “he’s wrong and I’m right” reaction.

I realise what I need to do now is to reflect, ask advice, read books about older people going back packing and decide what I want to do. I’m still looking for people to join me though!!!!!!

Watch the video below, and look at the tool that I’ve developed as a result of thinking about it, you too can reflect and decide where you are and whether you are happy with your mindset, whether it is a fixed or a growth mindset or somewhere in between! Fixed or Growth Mindset

Here is the tool that I have developed –Fixed or Growth Mindset  

Put a mark in between the two statements  and be honest. Some of mine were closer to the left hand side – the fixed mindset- (WHAT?????) and I have some homework to do going forward. I’ll pop my thoughts in my journal and share with you as well.

Sharing some of your reflections will help others in the spirit of that Growth Mindset!

Until next week, Happy Reflecting!

Dr Bridget

 

P.S. I’m developing some resources to share with people who would like to join my on-line community and I want to be sure I’m heading in the right direction and that the content I create is useful to YOU. 

If you’re a business owner, could you please take 5 minutes to tell me what stands in your way?

 

What I need to know is this:

 

“When it comes to taking consistent action to move forward in your business, what’s the single biggest challenge, frustration or problem you’ve been struggling with?”

 

Please click here to tell me.