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How to Understand Your Emotions

Emotional state

Understanding your emotions

There are several models in psychology and NLP about understanding your emotions but the one I want us to focus on this week is a two dimensional model. This model is really useful because if you can understand and grade your emotions, you’ll then realise what you need to do to change your emotions and this really is empowering.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to unpack this two-dimensional model for you and explain how being aware of your emotions can benefit you. Watch the video and work through the different examples below as this is an interesting way of looking at it and awareness is key.

 

The two dimensional model takes account of:

  1. Valence – which is attractiveness, whether something is good or bad, positive or negative, it’s the subjective attractiveness of the emotion.
  2. Arousal – which refers to whether you are energetic or lethargic, wakeful or sleepy

Valence, is that subjective feeling. For example just because something is good or bad it doesn’t mean it is good or bad for you or for someone else.

Similarly, with arousal if you have negative feelings such as fear or anger they may appear negative but they actually could be really motivating for you.  Alternatively, you may have what are considered as positive feelings like relaxed or calm but these might potentially be preventing you from taking action.

So let’s consider this in a little more detail looking at the different combinations of Arousal and Valence

High Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Astonished, Excited, Delighted, Happy, Pleased

High Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Content, Serene, Calm, Relaxed

Low Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Annoyed, Afraid, Angry, Frustrated

Low Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Miserable, Depressed, Bored, Tired

Two dimensional Model of Emotion

Maybe if you knew which  you were doing at any one time, you could choose to do a different combination?

If you find that you are not managing your emotions then please get in touch here or give me a call on 07973 635102   –  I’m a “chief unsticker” and sometimes these negatives get in our way,  I can help you to manage your emotions, no matter where they have come from  so that you can live the life you want and have the business you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – On an emotional roll!

What Do You Keep in Your Brain’s Filing Cabinet?

filing cabinetWhat is in YOUR brain filing cabinet?  Is it useful or not?

The memories that we have stored in our brain filing cabinet can be things that our unconscious mind is not aware of – for example, your birth or your first steps.

However you also store memories like:

  • your first day of school,
  • leaving school,
  • first relationships,
  • marriage,
  • partnerships,
  • children,
  • new jobs

These are the standard things that most of us think of as being in our filing cabinet.

But, what if you keep negative memories and feelings in your brain filing cabinet?  In this week’s video I explain what happens with these negative memories, how they can hold you back and how you can overcome them to live the life you want.

What negative memories do you keep in your brain filing cabinet?

When I speak with many of my clients they notice that up until the age 3-5 there was no doubt. Then something happened and they experienced doubt.  Maybe it was the first time they doubted their parents, who up to that point were thought of as the perfect, all knowing people- their role models. Suddenly, something occurs and they are left wondering can they trust their parents.

There are lots of memories like the first time:

  • you lost a loved one,
  • you felt rejected,
  • you felt you “failed,”
  • you labeled yourself in any sort of way

If you are carrying these things around in your filing cabinet then what you tend to do is chain them together.  So if you are doubting then this can become chained to other feelings like rejection or failure and you continue to do through life.

It would be really useful if you could just cut that feeling of doubt from the other feelings and move on –  start again from where you are now. If you don’t do this, then when something happens you will keep getting pulled back, almost like a bungee cord to those first feelings in the filing cabinet.  If we can stop this happening then life becomes much easier.

Neuro Linguistic Programming and Time Line Therapy (R)  is a great tool to help disconnect that cord enabling you to go forward with a fresh start.

It’s one of the reasons I do what I do, as it is such an effective and quick process.

So if there is anything that you are keeping in your filing cabinet that you can’t get rid of then just give me a call and we can resolve it really quickly for you.  You can then live the life you want and run the business or have the career you want.

Keeping the filing cabinet for more useful and positive memories. You can book an appointment here   or my phone number is 07973 635102.

See you next week

Dr Bridget – Helping  you to remove negative files!

I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link. The dates are 5-8th November and 26-29th November 2021 – a total of 8 days. In a retreat type of venue with peacocks!!!!

How do I allow myself to be happy?

be happy

How do I allow myself to be happy?

It’s a question a lot of people often ask themselves. It sort of implies that they not allowing themselves to be happy.  It’s a really interesting question as it’s almost like there is a decision that they’ve made, or other people have made that they can’t allow themselves to be happy.

In this week’s video I share with you the story of a client whose main problem was that they couldn’t allow themselves to be happy, be spontaneous and have fun.   Listen to the video about their story and how we worked together to help them overcome this problem.

“How can I allow myself to be happy, spontaneous and have fun? “

This was the question my client asked.

There was something stopping them all the time and when we went back to the root cause, it was from their unconscious mind. When they were a teenager they were surrounded by people who didn’t listen to them and, as a direct result, they didn’t say what they thought, in order not to upset people. It was an impossibility for them to tell people how hurt they felt about what was going on and they said they  bottled up their feelings.

When I asked my client – what does that mean? What sort of bottle is that and where is it?  They said it was a sort of grey bottle in their chest which was full of hurt, confusion and sadness.  Of course,  that has a consequence for yourself, your physiology, for your future and just being happy and was a problem that needed to be dealt with.

We did some Time Line Therapy which get’s rid of limiting decisions like

  • ‘It’s not ok for me to be myself’,’
  • ‘It’s not ok for me to say how feel,’ or
  • ‘I’ve got to keep the peace.’

It also helps get rid of negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt.   All this was going on in their unconscious mind and, following Time Line Therapy, all this was gone. The bottle had gone and they couldn’t find the feelings anymore.

That’s brilliant and it’s the reason I do what I do. It could take years of counselling to get to this point but with Time Line Therapy the thoughts and emotions that are limiting you, go really quickly.

So, I’d like to ask  you

  • Do you have any feelings that you bottle up and where have they come from?
  • Can you picture that bottle inside you and what are the feelings that are inside it?
  • What affect is that having on you?

Some of the learnings that my client had was to surround themselves with people who actually listen to them and to have self belief and self worth. It didn’t take very long to do that – less than two hours.

So maybe you’ve got some feelings that you are bottling up and you can’t let those feelings out?  If you haven’t got the people around you that you can talk to, the bottle may stay full and then it is going to have consequences.

If that’s going on for you, I’d really like you to give me a shout so that we can get rid of that bottle and negative emotions and beliefs. Then you will be safer, happier and you can allow yourself to do whatever you want to do.

If you’d like some help with this then book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy seeing how you can empty any negative thoughts and emotions in your bottle, and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – emptying people’s bottles

If you’d like to learn more techniques to get rid of limiting decisions and  and negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information