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Anchoring Positive Emotions

Anchoring Positive Emotions

How to anchor positive emotions

Anchoring is when we apply a stimulus at the height of an emotion so that the two things become neurologically linked.  We can use this to anchor positive emotions or to get rid of negative emotions.

If you think about it, if we’ve got positive emotions and we can use them at will, then life becomes very interesting and we can use these emotions to move forward and stay positive.   On the flip side if you’ve anchored to negative emotions such as distress, sadness or disappointment from your past then you’re not going to be able to move forward.

There’s lots of reasons for getting positive emotions anchored and I teach how to do this on my NLP Practitioner course, and you can do it yourself.

In this week’s video I teach you the NLP technique to anchor positive emotions. Watch the video and try it for yourself.

Firstly you’ll need to decide on positive emotion you would like to anchor.

As an example, I’ve just been on a business retreat and I could do with some calm. So I thought I might anchor some calm on my knuckles. Follow the process in the video and use the script below to try it for yourself.

Firstly we say to ourselves..

Can you remember a time when you were totally calm?”   (Substitute calm with the positive emotion you want to anchor)

As you remember that time

go back to that time now…..go right back, float down into your body and see what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel those feelings of being totally calm   (As soon as you feel the positive emotion put your finger on your knuckle and as soon as it starts to disappear again take your finger off.)

I then repeat the process several times thinking of different times when I felt totally calm.

When I think about wanting to be calm I can then press the same knuckle and that calmness washes over me because it’s been neurologically linked to the stimulus of pressing my knuckle. This means that anytime I need some calm I just press my knuckle and the calmness comes over me.

So have a think what emotion you would like to have, maybe it’s excitement, determination or focus and use the highlighted script above and have a go.

If you’d like some help with this then get in touch book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it on the above link.

Enjoy the experimenting and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – clearing your negatives

If you’d like to learn more techniques to anchor positive emotions and get rid of negative emotions  I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

How to get rid of Negativity

How to get rid of negativity

What can you do to remove your negativity?

In this week’s blog I’m going to talk about one way to get rid of your negativity at a conscious level.

Now this is unusual for me because behaviour is generally generated at an unconscious level and from an NLP perspective, to remove unwanted negative behaviour you need to do some work at an unconscious level.   However, recently when working with a client I recognised that minor negativity can sometimes be dealt with at a conscious level.

Listen to this week’s video and try out the technique I’ve suggested to get rid of minor negativity.

I was recently working with a client and she was frustrated. It was a minor frustration she had with her partner who was doing the washing and leaving things on the side rather than folding them away. This meant that she ended up dealing with the consequences and having to tidy up.

We did a NLP technic called “Collapsed Anchors,” where you take a negative and you stack up some positives then you bring them together and the negative disappears. But I think we can do this at a conscious level too.

If you have something like frustration or a minor negative emotion that you want to get rid of, try this.  Hold the minor negative on one hand and then think of what would counteract that minor negative. In my situation, where I was feeling impatient, I was thinking maybe some love, some curiosity – how or why does that person do what they do , or some other positive emotion?  Or perhaps some focus on myself and my business, some excitement and determination. All of a sudden you’ve got all this that you are feeling instead of the negative emotion.  If you can put enough positive emotions into your thoughts you will override the negative at a conscious level.

It may take a bit longer than doing it from an NLP technic perspective `(at an unconscious level) but it’s certainly worth giving it a go.

So have a think what frustrations, impatience, anxieties and minor negative things you have and what positives you can counteract these emotions with. Stack up the positive feelings in your thoughts and you will find that negative will disappear.

If it’s not working at a conscious level for you and you’d like some help then get in touch book an appointment here. My phone number is 07973 635102 if you want to access that free half hour with me or you can book it here https://book-an-appointment-with-Dr-Bridget.as.me/

Enjoy the experimenting and see you next week.

Dr Bridget – clearing your negatives

If you’d like to learn techniques to remove negative thinking at an unconscious level and also sort out your own thinking, I have a couple of  spaces left on my next NLP Practitioner course which runs over two lots of 4 days. 30/7/21-2/8/21 plus 20-23/8/21 – click here for further information

 

Adversity – Does it stop you?

How do you react when adversity comes along?

Does it stop you?

Adversity

Adversity

One of the themes of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) focuses on whether you are getting results or giving yourselves reasons why you can’t do whatever it is.

I find there are so many people who come and see me, wanting to get unstuck, or get more success or happiness, that have a huge amounts of reasons and excuses why they can’t. Adversity can happen and it’s how you deal with it that matters – its about resilience.  A minor example is when I wanted to do the videos today, it was going to rain and be cloudy. And I feel as though I have a cold coming on. So I got my wellies and my umbrella and told my unconscious mind that it it wasn’t convenient to be unwell. I know what my goals are and part of them is spreading the word and supporting people to get unstuck and because of that, the videoing was going to happen no matter what.

Watch the video (sorry about the expression) and then ask yourself the questions underneath.

  • Do you have goals?
  • Do you have reasons or excuses why adversity gets in the way?
  • Are you resilient?
  • Whats stopping you – big things or small things?

If you know what they are and you can’t do anything about them consciously,  book a free session here so that we can clear the reasons and excuses and head you for your goals!  

Coming on an NLP course will help you to get rid of the reasons and excuses and become resilient, as well as giving you some amazing communication and resilience skills for your self and others. One of my Master Practitioner trainees has just landed a 7 book contract and has the opportunity to run retreats abroad in the next year! And a year ago she was unwell and not focusing on her future at all. It’s totally amazing watching her fly!

Express an interest in coming on a course here.

Until next week, set your goals and overcome the reasons and excuses!

Dr Bridget

How to Understand and Create Relationships

Relationships- understanding the challenges

Relationships

Relationships

I looked at my husband and considered what he had just said. For an instance I was annoyed and then my NLP learning flipped in and I laughed. Because I was totally committed to this relationship and so what if he wanted to discuss the details of the holiday we were about to go on. It was actually quite reasonable. So I laughed and started to plan this blog.

Its amazing. when you think about it, how we manage to live or work with others because we are all so different. We all have different “models of the world”. Watch the video below where I talk about the things that can be different for people within a relationship.

The way that we are “wired” to react is so important and if we understand each other and have a total commitment to making the relationship work, then we stand a much better chance of feeling happy and content and can be interested in our differences instead of frustrated.

I’ve put a link to my cauliflower video here (also known as How we Get Results) so that you can understand what makes us all different and really get to grips with what is needed to change in you in order to improve any of your relationships.

We all have different memories and experiences which we have hooked positives and negatives on to. We have also been bought up by different people, different teachers and different people in our social sphere and we take on our values from them. And they can be very different. So imagine one person has values of adventure and one has values of safety and security? Maybe there might be a clash if we don’t understand that?

We also have different beliefs depending on how previous relationships have been – empowering or limiting.

And we have different metaprogrammes which are very deep seated and may make us think as though we are on a different page. There are 18 different metaprogrammes and we aren’t really aware of theses consciously. An example I use is whether you are big picture or detailed. I’m big picture which is why my husband being detailed can be frustrating ( or very useful).

If you’d like to chat about a relationship that you have which is not working for you and you’d like to change, then get in touch via my contact page. Also you can book onto my next NLP training which will make a huge difference to your understanding of the differences between people.

Until next week, happy relating!

Dr B

 

 

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

A Common Language Pattern That Can Be Unhelpful

Language patterns

Language patterns

The Language We Use

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.

The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:

  • I am Diabetic
  • I am a Cancer sufferer
  • I am Depressed
  • I am Useless
  • I am a Nuisance
  • I’m just a Housewife
  • I am in pieces
  • My husband/wife/partner is part of me

These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.

If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details 

Here are a couple of ways of changing this:

  1. Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
  • I am doing poor blood sugar control
  • I am doing the symptoms of cancer
  • I am doing depression
  • I am doing useless behaviour
  • I am doing the functions of a housewife

This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.

2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”

What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?

So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.

Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:

  • “I’m a good wife”
  • I’m a good mother”
  • “I’m a kind person”
  • “I’m me and I like me”

Totally different perspectives!

There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect.  Click here I am…….

Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me 

Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What happens When You Don’t Take Time Out

Taking time out

Taking time out became the topic for this video as I talked to my videographer – Chris Davies from Colour Black Productions – during our most recent filming session of my Prescriptions for Success videos.

We’d both become very busy as a result of raising our profile and the conversation was about how, or should, we be taking time off to reflect. We realised that taking time out, allows you to plan, reflect, congratulate yourself and keep an eye on your journey towards your goals. If you don’t take the time, you can become a victim of “busyness” and lose sight of where you are heading and forget how far you have come.

One of the main reasons for people seeking coaching and mastermind group support is to be able to take that time out and regain focus of their path to success and their goals. The results of doing this are absolutely enormous! The focus and consistency it provides become what you do! And that is what gets you the results.

Watch the video below within which I discuss this further. If you would like to escape the “busyness” and re-focus on your gals, you can click here to fill in a form for a FREE consultation.

If you are looking for an easy and quick fix, I would suggest committing to taking half an hour a day to plan or reflect on your day and what the next one will bring – it can be very empowering (and also calming).

Make sure that your plans line up to what you want in your life and let me know the effects the time-out has and if it empowers you.

If you are struggling with this concept and don’t know what to do, call me on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027 and we can chat it through and work out a path for you.

Until next week, enjoy your time-out,

Dr. Bridget

Do You Have Internal Conflict? This is one of the causes

One of the most common causes for internal conflict is something called PARTS ( in NLP terminology)

Mental Conflict

Internal Conflict

Just like you, I have faced internal battles. I remember sitting in front of my computer with this battle in my head going “part of me wants to be successful but part of me wants to do nothing at all”. I’d just started my NLP coaching business and I was struggling. Luckily, I was able to resolve this issue with my coach quite quickly.

Now, it is my role to help people with this internal struggle, and I want to share the cause for this common problem with you and raise awareness of this solvable problem.

In NLP, this conflict is known as “Parts”, because it is as if we have two parts to ourselves, which want different things. It usually arises from a significant negative emotional event which is either one big event or several small ones fairly close together.

For example, a recent client found herself in this battle after having just been made redundant following a complaint, losing her dad about the same time and having one of her children spend a week in hospital with a serious illness. All these negative events had caused part of her to steer away from her want to be successful in her new business, and focus on the want of some peace in her life. That is when she came to me for help.

I helped her put the conflict to rest and focus on what she really wanted.

“Parts” have their own personality and are generally formed to help protect you, but in doing so, they can cause conflicts with other parts of your brain – a sort of Mental Tug of War.

In this week’s Prescription for Success video below, I discuss ‘parts’ and the effects internal conflict can have.

If you want to talk about any type of internal conflict that may be stopping you from gaining success in your life or your business, then give me a call on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027. Or click here to fill out a form and I’ll be in touch very quickly.

If you are interested in this topic and NLP, I run NLP Practitioner courses, where you can learn how to not only resolve this issue for yourself, but for others too. Click here for more info on my NLP Practitioner courses.

Part of me would like to keep writing the blog and part of me wants to get some lunch so, until next time, go for what you want in life!

Dr. Bridget

The impact of your expectations is huge!

Expectations

Expectations

Expectations

I have Two Questions for you:

Are you someone that expects good things to happen or bad things?

Do you find that what you expect is what you get??

Here’s a task for you: – Have you ever thought about whether your mindset effects the outcomes of a task or situation? One day this week, I want you to really think about what outcomes you expect from each situation, be that good or bad, and then make a note of what you expected and what the outcomes to those situations are.

Whether your mind set is focused positively and you expect good outcomes, or negatively and you expect bad outcomes, is crucial to the results, and therefore has an effect on your enjoyment of life.

I recently had a client who made all of his decisions based on the “what ifs”, focusing on the negative outcomes that could happen and therefore tailoring his approach to them. This resulted in him only having outcomes that were sub-par to what he wanted to achieve. After meeting with me he began making decisions based on what he wanted to happen, the ‘what ifs’ seemed to be less relevant and he could then focus on the great expectations he had.

If you are preparing for the worst, chances are that you will end up stuck on that level – your mindset truly effects the outcomes.

Watch the video below where I talk about one of my 1st NLP Training participants and where she has reached her dream goals because of shift in how she views her expectations.

Perform the task mentioned at the beginning of this prescription and if you are always expecting the worst to happen and you’d like to take action on your mindset, give me a call on 01656 347027. Or click here to fill in a form for a FREE discovery consultation and I’ll get straight back to you.

As discussed in the video NLP training inspired Sharon to live her dream, if you would like to hear more from Sharon about her experience with NLP click here to watch and interview.

Until next time, take charge of what you want and expect to get it!!

Dr. Bridget

 

Is guilt holding you back?

Is guilt holding you back?

Guilt - usful or not?

Is guilt holding you back?

I’ve helped quite a few people recently who were allowing guilt to hold them back.

Until they came to see me, they felt stuck and unable to break free and it was affecting their happiness and confidence.

If this is something that you, or someone you know is suffering from, then please point them in my direction – in this blog I am going to discuss how to move forward.

It may be a controversial view but, to me, guilt is more about other people than about you. If you have been doing the best that you can and you have been using the resources that you have available to you, then its more about other people’s model of the world, or society’s model of the world, and their projection of that onto you.

Perhaps you’ve behaved in a way that other people haven’t liked or didn’t expect, as long as you weren’t aiming to upset people, you have done nothing wrong. Everyone has a different view and model of the world because they have been brought up differently and we have different values and beliefs. This can, let’s face it, make people judgmental of other people’s views if they don’t align with their own. But what is important to remember here is, that other people may not like what you do or who you are, BUT that’s ok!

Perhaps, you could apologise for upsetting them and explain that wasn’t your intention, but then you need to move on! And let go! Don’t carry the guilt passed on by them with you.

For a more in-depth look into the issue of guilt watch the video below where Dr Bridget discusses this:

If you need help moving on from negative events in the past that have caused you to feel stuck, give me a ring on 01656 347027 or click here to fill in a contact form. We can arrange a FREE consultation to discuss your issues and find a way for you to move forward and reach your full potential.

Sometimes our unconscious mind needs help to move on.

Honestly, life is for living, not for being stuck in negative emotions such as guilt!

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget

 

Is anyone on your side? – Who do you get support from?

Who do you get support from?

Support i important

Get support

As you go through life, things happen around you that can make you feel really emotional. Sometimes, I find it difficult to show my emotions – after all, a coach “should” be in a great place all of the time. But, being authentic and honest, I admit that I do get upset from time to time.

And, as mentioned being “the coach”, I have struggled to find people who I can openly bare my feelings to but I’ve recently found a small group of people who I can talk to. Not only has it allowed me to gain greater perspective and feel supported, but it has also helped me become stronger for my clients and be of better support to them, my family and friends.

This week in my Prescriptions for Success’ vlog I discuss this, my own struggle to find support and the importance of getting the right support from the people around you. If you are struggling to find the right kind of support, click here to download a pdf copy of my book where there is a tool called ABCD in chapter 2.

This tool allows you to work through your contact list and sort them into categories – with the people placed in the “A” category being those you can rely on and those who will positively support you.

If after watching the video, you find yourself thinking that you need more support, then you can always ring me on 01656 347027 and I will get straight back to you. We can have a chat and I will be there to support you through your journey.

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget – part of your A Team!

Communication Can be Frustrating – Here’s a Tool to Help

Communication with others can be frustrating-don’t you think?

Here is one of the reasons why:

Communication

Communication skills

We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to our language and communication, and if others have a different comfort zone, it can often seem as though we are on a “different page”, or in extreme cases, on a “different planet”!!

A large part of my NLP Practitioner courses is spent looking at and analysing the effective use of language and communication. A really fun part of this is what is called chunking. Chunking is the way we organize information in our brains and how we communicate, e.g. big picture or detailed, we all have different levels of chunking and it is also often context specific.

I am often a fairly big picture thinker but then I can get really detailed nearer the deadline for action. If I’m talking to someone who is very detailed at the beginning of a project, I can get a bit frustrated. And I’m sure that if you are detailed, you’d be a bit confused and frustrated by me at times.

In this big old world, we have no control over the type of person we will have to communicate with in our day to day lives, so it is really helpful to learn what to do about mismatching chunk levels and how to utilize them.

If you have a high chunk conversation (big picture), there is much more likely to be agreement with people. If you have a more detailed conversation (low chunk), then there is more likely to be disagreement but there is more opportunity ti solve problems at a detailed level.

Have a watch of the video below and then read the questions that you can use to become more flexible and communicate effectively. Call me if you want to find out more.

Here are some simple questions to use to gain a rapport with someone and to reach an agreement or solve a problem via your communication.

If someone that you are talking to is being very detailed or specific, you can use these questions to chunk up:

  • X for what purpose?
  • What will X give you?
  • What is X and example of?

If you want to find out details or solve a problem, you can chunk down and ask:

  1. X- what specifically?
  2. X – when or how specifically?
  3. What’s an example of X?

For example, is someone is “upset”, you can chunk down by asking “what specifically are you upset by?”

You could also chunk up by asking “What did being upset give you?” and if they say “I defended myself”, you can say “what is the purpose for defending yourself” and they might say “so that I feel safe” and so on.

It’s really interesting and useful.

And if you want to get into rapport with someone, match their chunk size and level of detail or bigger picture thinking.

If you’d like to come on an NLP course to learn more about communication and how you can improve yours, I offer easy monthly payments and a guarantee that you will have fun and learn communication skills with a wide variety of tools. Click here to get in touch.

Please feel free to share – I found out at the weekend that someone got a job as a direct result of watching one of my videos.

That’s my purpose – to make a difference!

Dr Bridget