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Relatioships

How to Understand and Create Relationships

Relationships- understanding the challenges

Relationships

Relationships

I looked at my husband and considered what he had just said. For an instance I was annoyed and then my NLP learning flipped in and I laughed. Because I was totally committed to this relationship and so what if he wanted to discuss the details of the holiday we were about to go on. It was actually quite reasonable. So I laughed and started to plan this blog.

Its amazing. when you think about it, how we manage to live or work with others because we are all so different. We all have different “models of the world”. Watch the video below where I talk about the things that can be different for people within a relationship.

The way that we are “wired” to react is so important and if we understand each other and have a total commitment to making the relationship work, then we stand a much better chance of feeling happy and content and can be interested in our differences instead of frustrated.

I’ve put a link to my cauliflower video here (also known as How we Get Results) so that you can understand what makes us all different and really get to grips with what is needed to change in you in order to improve any of your relationships.

We all have different memories and experiences which we have hooked positives and negatives on to. We have also been bought up by different people, different teachers and different people in our social sphere and we take on our values from them. And they can be very different. So imagine one person has values of adventure and one has values of safety and security? Maybe there might be a clash if we don’t understand that?

We also have different beliefs depending on how previous relationships have been – empowering or limiting.

And we have different metaprogrammes which are very deep seated and may make us think as though we are on a different page. There are 18 different metaprogrammes and we aren’t really aware of theses consciously. An example I use is whether you are big picture or detailed. I’m big picture which is why my husband being detailed can be frustrating ( or very useful).

If you’d like to chat about a relationship that you have which is not working for you and you’d like to change, then get in touch via my contact page. Also you can book onto my next NLP training which will make a huge difference to your understanding of the differences between people.

Until next week, happy relating!

Dr B

 

 

Weaknesses

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

Language patterns

A Common Language Pattern That Can Be Unhelpful

Language patterns

Language patterns

The Language We Use

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.

The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:

  • I am Diabetic
  • I am a Cancer sufferer
  • I am Depressed
  • I am Useless
  • I am a Nuisance
  • I’m just a Housewife
  • I am in pieces
  • My husband/wife/partner is part of me

These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.

If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details 

Here are a couple of ways of changing this:

  1. Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
  • I am doing poor blood sugar control
  • I am doing the symptoms of cancer
  • I am doing depression
  • I am doing useless behaviour
  • I am doing the functions of a housewife

This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.

2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”

What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?

So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.

Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:

  • “I’m a good wife”
  • I’m a good mother”
  • “I’m a kind person”
  • “I’m me and I like me”

Totally different perspectives!

There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect.  Click here I am…….

Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me 

Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What happens When You Don’t Take Time Out

Taking time out

Taking time out became the topic for this video as I talked to my videographer – Chris Davies from Colour Black Productions – during our most recent filming session of my Prescriptions for Success videos.

We’d both become very busy as a result of raising our profile and the conversation was about how, or should, we be taking time off to reflect. We realised that taking time out, allows you to plan, reflect, congratulate yourself and keep an eye on your journey towards your goals. If you don’t take the time, you can become a victim of “busyness” and lose sight of where you are heading and forget how far you have come.

One of the main reasons for people seeking coaching and mastermind group support is to be able to take that time out and regain focus of their path to success and their goals. The results of doing this are absolutely enormous! The focus and consistency it provides become what you do! And that is what gets you the results.

Watch the video below within which I discuss this further. If you would like to escape the “busyness” and re-focus on your gals, you can click here to fill in a form for a FREE consultation.

If you are looking for an easy and quick fix, I would suggest committing to taking half an hour a day to plan or reflect on your day and what the next one will bring – it can be very empowering (and also calming).

Make sure that your plans line up to what you want in your life and let me know the effects the time-out has and if it empowers you.

If you are struggling with this concept and don’t know what to do, call me on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027 and we can chat it through and work out a path for you.

Until next week, enjoy your time-out,

Dr. Bridget

Do You Have Internal Conflict? This is one of the causes

One of the most common causes for internal conflict is something called PARTS ( in NLP terminology)

Mental Conflict

Internal Conflict

Just like you, I have faced internal battles. I remember sitting in front of my computer with this battle in my head going “part of me wants to be successful but part of me wants to do nothing at all”. I’d just started my NLP coaching business and I was struggling. Luckily, I was able to resolve this issue with my coach quite quickly.

Now, it is my role to help people with this internal struggle, and I want to share the cause for this common problem with you and raise awareness of this solvable problem.

In NLP, this conflict is known as “Parts”, because it is as if we have two parts to ourselves, which want different things. It usually arises from a significant negative emotional event which is either one big event or several small ones fairly close together.

For example, a recent client found herself in this battle after having just been made redundant following a complaint, losing her dad about the same time and having one of her children spend a week in hospital with a serious illness. All these negative events had caused part of her to steer away from her want to be successful in her new business, and focus on the want of some peace in her life. That is when she came to me for help.

I helped her put the conflict to rest and focus on what she really wanted.

“Parts” have their own personality and are generally formed to help protect you, but in doing so, they can cause conflicts with other parts of your brain – a sort of Mental Tug of War.

In this week’s Prescription for Success video below, I discuss ‘parts’ and the effects internal conflict can have.

If you want to talk about any type of internal conflict that may be stopping you from gaining success in your life or your business, then give me a call on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027. Or click here to fill out a form and I’ll be in touch very quickly.

If you are interested in this topic and NLP, I run NLP Practitioner courses, where you can learn how to not only resolve this issue for yourself, but for others too. Click here for more info on my NLP Practitioner courses.

Part of me would like to keep writing the blog and part of me wants to get some lunch so, until next time, go for what you want in life!

Dr. Bridget