Is Your Head in the Shed?
I said to someone the other day “My head’s in the shed!”
I don’t know if this is a UK expression but we certainly hear a lot of this statement in Wales.
When we say, “My head is in the shed,” what do we mean?
It’s an interesting metaphor and in this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss what we mean by this statement and how we can help ourselves. Watch the video and let me know what you think.
“My head is in the shed!” – What do we mean by this statement?
Do we mean that we are confused, that we are stressed, disorientated or overwhelmed? There is no real answer because when we say it we have our own reasons for saying it.
If your head is in the shed then it’s separate from the rest of you and you feel that you need to look for it as it’s important to you.
You may consider the reasons why your head is in the shed.
For me, I think it was because I was a little overwhelmed and had a lot going on for me. So I went to stopped and considered what the problem was and what I needed to do to deal with the overwhelm and gave someone a ring for some help.
If your ‘head is in the shed’ then look for the reasons and ask for help if you are not able to get your head out of the shed because being in the shed isn’t the best place, is it?
If you need some help with this then get in touch with me because we can get this sorted easily so that you can move forward with you head in the right place
Dr Bridget – with my head in the right place.
P.S. I’m running an NLP course in February/March 2022 – a great way to get to know yourself and increase your confidence in working with others. Here’s a link to the course information where you can also download a brochure for dates and prices.
What is in YOUR brain filing cabinet? Is it useful or not?
The memories that we have stored in our brain filing cabinet can be things that our unconscious mind is not aware of – for example, your birth or your first steps.
However you also store memories like:
- your first day of school,
- leaving school,
- first relationships,
- new jobs
These are the standard things that most of us think of as being in our filing cabinet.
But, what if you keep negative memories and feelings in your brain filing cabinet? In this week’s video I explain what happens with these negative memories, how they can hold you back and how you can overcome them to live the life you want.
What negative memories do you keep in your brain filing cabinet?
When I speak with many of my clients they notice that up until the age 3-5 there was no doubt. Then something happened and they experienced doubt. Maybe it was the first time they doubted their parents, who up to that point were thought of as the perfect, all knowing people- their role models. Suddenly, something occurs and they are left wondering can they trust their parents.
There are lots of memories like the first time:
- you lost a loved one,
- you felt rejected,
- you felt you “failed,”
- you labeled yourself in any sort of way
If you are carrying these things around in your filing cabinet then what you tend to do is chain them together. So if you are doubting then this can become chained to other feelings like rejection or failure and you continue to do through life.
It would be really useful if you could just cut that feeling of doubt from the other feelings and move on – start again from where you are now. If you don’t do this, then when something happens you will keep getting pulled back, almost like a bungee cord to those first feelings in the filing cabinet. If we can stop this happening then life becomes much easier.
Neuro Linguistic Programming and Time Line Therapy (R) is a great tool to help disconnect that cord enabling you to go forward with a fresh start.
It’s one of the reasons I do what I do, as it is such an effective and quick process.
So if there is anything that you are keeping in your filing cabinet that you can’t get rid of then just give me a call and we can resolve it really quickly for you. You can then live the life you want and run the business or have the career you want.
Keeping the filing cabinet for more useful and positive memories. You can book an appointment here or my phone number is 07973 635102.
See you next week
Dr Bridget – Helping you to remove negative files!
I’m now booking for my NLP practitioner starting in November – If you’d like to learn more about this fascinating subject and get skills for life, here’s a link. The dates are 5-8th November and 26-29th November 2021 – a total of 8 days. In a retreat type of venue with peacocks!!!!
Are there gaps in your life that you are trying to fill?
When we speak to people, sometimes we notice that there are things that are of high importance to them – often things that they haven’t got and are striving to get.
And maybe we notice them in our self – certainly I have recently been striving for support and people that I can open up to. This is probably a function of my husbands poor memory and COVID, but it’s been there for ages. It’s a pattern and it get’s triggered. Being an NLP Master Trainer, I’m very interested in it.
We can notice
- The gap that we are trying to fill
- The triggers that set off an emotional response to it
- The patterns that we then run
Watch the video and then answer the questions for yourself:
Here are the questions and possible answers:
- What are you best at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?
- What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?
If you are worst at starting things, ask yourself: Who are you not being that you want to be?
If you are worst at changing things, ask yourself: What are you not doing that you want to do?
If you are worst at stopping things, ask yourself: What do you not have that you want to have?
Notice if any of the answers to these questions bring up emotions for you. Also ask yourself if this is something that tends to affect your life across all segments?
Is it of High Importance
If so, ask yourself if this is something that you can solve yourself. If not , then get in touch as there are many NLP techniques that we can use to help you to get rid of the gap that brings up these emotions.
Get in touch if you need help and access a free session
Also get in touch if you want to help other people to solve these challenges and reactions by Learning NLP Skills
Until next week, have fun with the questions,
Dr Bridget – here to help
What are your listening skills like?
I sometimes watch people talking to each other about an issue and get the impression that they are attempting to solve it in the same old, same old -yawn – way. And that’s because neither of them have been REALLY listening to each other. And , in the end, the conversation goes nowhere.
Watch the video and have a think about the scenarios below.
Have a think about the different responses to this question:
- I just can’t grow my business. Have you thought of taking a partner on? How about networking here? well you just need a VA. I had that problem once and this is what I did …………………………. Does that help the person? Probably not as theyve probably heard the same things and even tried them before.
- I just can’t grow my business. Tell me more. Every time I push forward this littel voice pops up in my head and says – You’re just not good enough. I’m getting annoyed with it now. The next question could be – When did you decide that? Well, probably when my teacher told me I’d never amount to much.
Hear the difference? The conversation then goes in a very different direction and the person who thinks they can’t grow their business has a ight bulb moment, someone who understands and a potential solution – just because the person listened.
So the next time you have a conversation with someone who has a challenge, problem or conflict, make sure you use your listening skills.
If you want to learn these skills, get in touch as my NLP Training courses teaches you them.
If no-one is listening to you, get in touch as I’m a good listener and I get to the root cause of the problem really quickly and then help you to solve it.
See you next week.
Dr Bridget – My ears are always open so that I can help you
Freedom versus Processes
Hello. I’ve been running my business for 10 years and for that length of time I’ve been resisting setting up processes because I wanted freedom. In reality, I think I had spent nearly 30 years, following rules and processes and I’d had enough of it. I now regret this because I’ve realised that it is having the opposite effect. If we take doing these videos as an example, the process is based around me coming up with some titles the night before. This means that it doesn’t give my team a chance to get them uploaded and titled in an efficient way. Annoying for them, I think.
Have a watch of the video and then reflect on how you manage the freedom versus processes scenario.
However, I’ve now got someone helping me and she is asking me, where is the process for x and y- in reality, they probably don’t exist.
I have an accountant that is asking me for financial processes as well. It’s hard work to put them in place, but it does make life easier and therefore freedom is a lot more reachable.
I also sleep well and worry less about impending dead lines.
I’d like to ask you whether you have got the processes that you need in life, in your business or your career? What affect would having them have? Would you have freedom?
Here’s the solution:
- Get some help from an expert
- Ask for help
- Do a bit at a time
These things give you the freedom to do other things which free up your time and get you success
I thoroughly recommend these solutions. However – if you need any help with your thought processes to enable you to do this, let me know and we can talk about whats getting in your way – it’s usually you- I expect you know that.
See you next week
Dr Bridget – giving you suggestions for freedom
Internal Conflict is Exhausting
Internal conflict is common and can be disabling. If you have that internal chatter where part of you believes something and part of you believes something else, then its very difficult to resolve this at a conscious level. Its like having a battle going on in your head and causes stress, worry anxiety, indecision and sleepless nights. It can be disabling and gives the feeling of being stuck. Watch the video and think about whether you have this sort of conflict going on in your head.
Examples of this sort of conflict are:-
- Part of me believes I’m good enough and part of me doesn’t – doesn’t take action
- Sometimes I believe I can be myself and sometimes I believe I can’t – lack of confidence
- Part of me wants to say yes and part of me wants to say no – difficulty with boundaries
- Sometimes I think its worth it and sometimes I don’t – common in business
Often people will feel as though they have one voice on one shoulder and another voice on the other and can point them out and even name them.
These conflicts are called parts in NLP and are created by significant emotional events. Either big events or lots of little ones. The part has a boundary around it and exists as an entity with it’s own values and beliefs and appearance.It thinks that it is in charge and is usually there to protect the person. It has a positive intention which is in conflict with its behaviour. For instance, if a part is causing anxiety it will be about protection. The protection will be to keep us safe. Safe will be so that we can be peaceful. Peaceful in order to live our life to the full. So anxiety is created for the purpose of living our life to the full which doesn’t make sense. Once the part realises that there are many ways to keep us safe and live our life to the full, the boundary disappears and the part disappears much to peoples relief.
This is a process that often is best resolved with an NLP Master Practitioner and trainer such as myself at an unconscious level. Just get in touch to resolve this very quickly and get rid of that conflict.
This will mean that you are calm, are making decisions easily and effectively and are living your life to the full.
If you are a coach that works with people who are struggling with conflicting beliefs, then have a think about how you deal with this at the moment and realise that this is an unconscious problem which comes from significant emotional events and have a look at my NLP Practitioner courses. Learning to get rid of parts will change your clients’ lives for ever. And your own.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – making you whole again
Are your Values changing?
I expect you have been trundling along through life in a relatively stable manner and have suddenly found that you have changed. This is because we have been in a crisis where our behaviour has been changed by the presence of the virus and the rules that we have been given to work with. To be honest I think we have had a shock and we need to review our motivators for our life and business.
Our motivators are at an unconscious level and are called values. They are surrounded by beliefs which support the existence of the values. So if our beliefs change , then they change.
Have a watch of the video and I’ll explain more below it:
Our values drive our behaviours and also our emotions. If we are heading for our goal and our values change, then it’s possible that you won’t get your goals. Also if they have changed then maybe we need different goals. They are interlinked.
You may never have elicited your values formally before so I’ve given you a tool to do this which you can access here. Remember that they will be different for different parts of your life. For instance, what’s important to you about your business will be different to whats important to you about your leisure time.
Once you have elicited them, have a think about whether they are useful for your goals or not.
Also have a think about whether your current environment and beliefs have changed your values.
You may think its a good idea to talk to me about this really important topic and if so contact me here
Until next week
Dr Bridget – Motivating you to achieve your goals
P.S. Please come and join my thriving FB group here. The theme of the group is Mindset for Business Success
The Fundamental Attribution Error
Bit of a mouthful, isn’t it and I’m thinking that you will want to know more.
65% of people judge others from their behaviour and think that the behaviour is their personality and identity. We may have an idea of our personality and identity but we don’t have any idea of others’ identity and personality from their behaviour. And we don’t know their environmental factors either.
Watch the video and have a think about whether you are judging other people in error or not.
Here’s the thing! Your brain is only using a small amount of information to make this judgement. It can only analyse their behaviour, not the personality or the identity.
Our behaviour comes from our memories and experiences, our values, our decisions and beliefs plus our metaprogrammes and how we interpret our space, and time. However all we can see is their behaviour so we make errors of judgement. We can’t get inside their programming or their neurology as we cant get into their head.
There is often also an environmental influence which leads to a behaviour – stress, other people, the weather and many more things.
So STOP JUDGING
Instead, think of 5 positive qualities the person has that you have seen before and concentrate on them rather than the transient behaviour. You will then see past their behaviour.
If you want to know more, then come on an NLP course. It will enhance your skills in interacting with other people and yourself. It will enable your coaching skills to improve in order to understand both your personality and that of other people. Here’s the link to find out more. Have a read and go to the contact page to speak to me.
See you next week.
Dr Bridget – enabling you to understand others