What does personal growth mean?
I’m really passionate about personal growth and I’m always really curious about what enables people to grow, and what enables me to grow (as I’m always growing).
So I thought that in this week’s Prescription for Success I’d talk about what personal growth means and consider some key components of personal growth. Watch the video and have a think about your own personal growth.
I think it’s about your knowledge, your skills and competency in a particular area of your life. Maybe in an area where you want to be able to think and feel and grow to be really excellent to get the results that you want in your life.
There are certain components to this. In my view there’s:
- Self-awareness – is about being aware of your own qualities and other people’s qualities so that you are in control.
- Self-confidence -is being aware of your strengths and weaknesses so you can do whatever you want to do and reach your goals.
- Self-love – is your ability to take care of yourself and to love yourself which gives you a feeling of self-worth.
- Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself on the journey as you are now. I always think of personal growth as a journey and whether you think you’ve got there or you are on the way, you can accept yourself for where you are and take some lessons as things happen.
- Self-compassion – is when you take care of yourself no matter what happens – so be compassionate if you make a mistake or other people think you make a mistake and just say to yourself “that’s fine”. Say “I’m on the journey of personal growth and I’ll learn from that”
- Self-reliance – That’s being able to rely on yourself and not be dependent on other people and be at cause (in charge of your feelings and decisions).
So that to me is what personal growth is.
If you are struggling with this then get in touch because I do a free half-hour where we can have a chat about any of those things that you want to improve. In particular, my NLP course is all about gaining excellence and being the person you want to be so be sure to get in touch.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – growing each day and loving it.
How to maintain your focus
Your emotional state affects your focus.
You can call your emotional focus an emotional state and even a behaviour as it is something you do.
What happens is that what you see, hear, feel and say to yourself is filtered and becomes your reality. That then creates an emotional state which then creates your behaviour.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss how to maintain your focus and consider how your emotional state affects your behaviour and hence impacts on your focus. Watch the video and let me know what you think.
If you want a focused behaviour then you need a good emotional state, you need positivity rather than negativity. In a previous blog we talked about how to get rid of your negative feelings and experiences, limiting beliefs and behaviours so that you can become positive.
I was talking with someone recently, who has done a significant amount of work with me, and because he didn’t have much sleep the night before he was in a physiological state that also created an emotional state that was a bit negative. So, he was feeling a bit stuck, had some doubts and he wasn’t taking all the action that he needed to.
After talking it through he realised that he was taking a huge amount of action to get a significant goal however he just needed a few systems around it. As we talked, his emotional state changed to positive so we anchored that emotional state and he can now go through the day feeling positive.
In order to maintain your focus you need a positive emotional state. It comes from your physiology, your reality and from removing all the things in the past that we discussed in the previous blog.
So if you are having trouble maintaining your emotional state to be positive then get in touch it’s quite easy to sort out using Time Line Therapy and some other NLP techniques
If you are a coach or someone who wants to learn these techniques then I do four NLP practitioner courses a year and I also train up to ‘Trainers training’ so that you can train other people to do these things.
If you are interested just book an appointment and we can have a chat about how I can help whether its for you personally or for you to work with other people.
Until next week,
How your motivation helps you focus
In order to focus, you need some sort of motivation.
Our motivations are either ‘towards’ what we want or they are ‘away’ from what we don’t want.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I explain how ‘away’ and ‘towards’ motivations influence us and help us to focus. Are your motivations ‘away from’ or ‘towards’? Watch the video and let me know what you think.
If you’ve had some things happen to you in the past that are particularly upsetting or have given you negative emotions – anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt, or you’ve developed some really powerful negative beliefs, these can stop you from focusing on your motivations.
What happens is you become attracted to these negatives and you get stuck in the past so you’re motivated by the things you don’t want to happen. Your past is driving you to the future but it’s s still there.
Alternatively, when you’re focused on your future and what you really want in your future then it’s really easy to move forward.
‘Away’ and ‘towards’ motivations are really key to focus.
You can get rid of the ‘away’ from motivations by doing something like Timeline Therapy or any other NLP techniques that deal with emotions and values. Then your values will become clean, and uncluttered by the past and you’ll be able to move forward into the future. You will be totally focused then on your future and enjoying the present taking the action you need. That’s what I do in Breakthrough Therapy and also what I teach on NLP courses.
So if you’re interested in this or if you feel like you’re not really heading towards the motivations you want and you’re stuck in the past and finding it difficult to focus then get in touch as I can sort that out for you really quickly.
Until next week,
Where to put your focus
I recently worked with quite a few clients who were putting their focus in a place where they didn’t want to. They wanted to put their focus in the ‘now’ or in the future rather than in the past however, they were focusing on the past.
Quite often these people have a really nice life and they are doing really well but they have just created a story for themselves about how much better their life would be if their past was different.
In the week’s Prescription for Success I share with you how you can change your focus from the past to the future so that you can live the life you want and enjoy the now. Watch the video and let me know what you think.
I tidy up the past because the programming from the past puts beliefs, decisions and negative emotions, that might be limiting, into your head. To go for the future and what you really want then you’ve got to tidy up the past. So in order to tidy up the past so that you can create a future and do what you really want to do or even just be in the now, I use a process called Time Line Therapy. It doesn’t take very long, just a few hours and is done in the context of a consultation in an intensive coaching session over a period of a couple of days.
The past becomes no longer relevant and you can just move on and enjoy the now and go for the joy in life. If that’s what you are looking for and you just want to ‘tidy up’ the past then just get in touch I do a free 30 minute consultation and we can get it sorted for you really quickly.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – Focusing on the now!
How to Change Your Reality
This subject is totally fascinating, you change your reality by the process of filtering:
- your emotions,
- your experiences
- your memories
- your values and beliefs
- and your language
We also use something called meta programmes in NLP.
By doing this filtering we create a reality and that reality doesn’t always work for us.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you an NLP process that can change your reality from something that is an ‘unwanted reality’ to a ‘wanted reality’. Listen to the video and get in touch if you need some help with this.
I always remember, a few years ago I did this process with someone who hated doing their admin – she was neglecting doing her book keeping, and not following up on leads or organising her client information. Although she was very good at her job she hated doing the admin work.
On the flip side she actually loved dancing so we used this to help her.
Firstly we identify ‘unwanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel. Then, we identify the ‘wanted behaviour’ and elicited what we see, hear and feel. You will find that the components of each are completely different but by using NLP techniques you can change the list. So, you can make the ‘unwanted behaviour’ have the same components as the ‘wanted behaviour’. You can switch the visuals, auditories and the kinesthetics so that the unwanted behaviour looks and feels like the wanted one
After undertaking this process with my client she went home and actually tidied up her home, did all her admin and paid her tax bill within 24 hours and it just felt like dancing.
I’ve also worked with another couple of people recently who were not being who they wanted to be or had been in the past. So together we elicited the ‘unwanted behaviour’ the ‘unwanted personality’ then we elicited what they ‘used to be’ what they ‘wanted to be’ and we just swapped it over so that person just became what they always were in the past. And it was really effective for them.
It’s quite a quick process and takes approximately half an hour. So, if there is something that you want to change that’s fairly simple then get in touch as I do a free half an hour call to start with to see what we need to do then we can actually do that process.
We also cover these processes on our NLP Courses so if you’d like to learn them then click here to find out more.
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – being exactly who I want to be.
Crossroads – how do you evaluate them?
As an unsticker, I often get people coming to me and saying that they are at a crossroads and can’t make the decision which way to go. And I’m guessing that many of us have been there over the last few years and have had to change what we do and how we do it.
When you stand at a crossroads, there are 4 directions – Back, sideways x 2, and a forward. Right?
And how do you make the decision which way to go? A lot of people get stuck at this point.
Have a look at the video and then find out more below.
When you have decided what you would like to have as a magic wand outcome for a years time, then turn and check whether there is anything in the past or to the side of the crossroads that you would like to bring with you.
Then check whether the direction that you are facing is more compelling in your mind than the other directions.
Once you are clear on which way you are going, then you can start and there will no longer be a crossroad there.
If you are stuck and really don’t know what to do, then let me know and I can help you to decide and get rid of anything internally that’s stopping you. I can be your unsticker. Click here to find out how.
The reason that people get stuck are:
- Lack of self belief
- Lack of feeling that you are worth doing what you want to do
- Feeling that it’s easier to stay where you are even though that’s uncomfortable
- Lack of support
- Lack of accountability
I’m wondering if you are thinking any of those things? If so, get in touch
Until next week,
Dr Bridget – getting you moving in the direction you want
How to deal with Indecisiveness In Order to Be Successful
To be successful in your business, life or relationships it’s really useful to have an element of decisiveness. Sometimes people get caught up in being indecisive and that means they have no clear direction or thought processes. They have the “Shall I,” Shan’t I,” “Will I,” Won’t I,” conflict that goes on in their heads.
They know that if they want to get rid of anxiety and reach their goals, then they have to be decisive.
With this in mind, in this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to talk a little bit about ‘parts’, which is an NLP term. If you find yourself being indecisive, watch the video and learn about this NLP technique to help.
What are ‘parts’ in NLP?
A ‘part’ refers to parts of the unconscious mind that cause conflict. So, sometimes I believe in myself but sometimes I don’t believe in myself, or part of me thinks I’m good enough and part of me thinks I’m not good enough.
The causes of parts in the unconscious mind are significant emotional events. They may be adverse childhood experiences or they may be significant events or traumas from later on in your life. When these events happen then sometimes it’s just a little wobble or sometimes it can create limiting beliefs or limiting decisions.
If the rate of change of a particular emotional process is quite fast or significant in terms of the actual strength of that emotion then it can cause parts, phobias and sometimes multiple personalities.
A part is in conflict with another part, and the theory behind resolving parts is that they were once whole and can become whole again by reintegrating the parts. Then looking to see what the parts have as a positive intention, realising that both parts have the same highest positive intention and reintegrating them using an NLP technique.
I teach people how to do this on my NLP Courses and I also do a lot of work with people who have conflict and want to have some coaching and/or to do a breakthrough process with me.
If you’ve got conflict and if you are indecisive then there will be a root cause behind that. Get in touch because I do a free half hour call where we can find out what’s going on and then resolve it. You then won’t have that conflict anymore and you can just get on with your life and feel happy.
Until Next Week
Dr Bridget – being decisive
What triggers are there for unwanted behaviours?
Triggers are what set a sequence of behaviour off and also the sequence of things that happen in your mind at an unconscious level to lead to an outcome.
There are so many unwanted behaviours including procrastination, doubting yourself, withdrawing from people, being irritable and argumentative, drinking alcohol, binge eating, comfort eating the list is endless.
People’s unwanted behaviour will be personal to them. So what is an unwanted behaviour for one person may not be unwanted for another person.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss the triggers for unwanted behaviours and give you some tips from an NLP perspective on how you can change these behaviours.
Every behaviour has what we call a strategy in NLP where there is a trigger. The trigger will be something that you see, something that you hear or something that you say to yourself which will set of a sequences of things in your brain that will lead to a specific behaviour.
I used to have a behaviour where I’d see the clock at 6pm and I’d look at the fridge and say to myself it’s time for a glass of wine and I’d go and have a glass of wine. So, that’s a sequence of events that I used to do.
It is possible to interrupt these sequence of events and get a different sequence of events and hence a different behaviour. If you are interested in learning more about this from a coaching or professional level or would like to know more for yourself then we cover NLP strategies on my NLP courses.
The other thing about unwanted behaviours which is really interesting is that every behaviour has a positive intention and has a purpose. People don’t do behaviours for reason there is always a purpose for them therefore every behaviour has a positive intention for the person who is doing it.
If you think about any triggers for unwanted behaviour that you might have then you’ll start to notice those triggers at a conscious level and you could start to change those.
You could also ask yourself what are you getting out of the behaviour? It might to seem obvious to start with, when I ask people this they can’t often identify the intention of a behaviour but quite often it’s about protection.
If you were to withdraw from a discussion you are probably doing that to protect yourself in some way and this would give you some sort of security and that security might give you happiness and the happiness might give you the ability to live your life to the full.
From a NLP perspective we call this chunking up and by doing this you get to the real positive intention for the behaviour so what you might get out of it then what else you might get out of it. Then you can ask yourself what might you want to do instead?
This is all about awareness raising so once you know the trigger and the purpose for that behaviour and what you’d rather do instead then at a conscious level you actually make some changes.
If you can’t make those changes then just get in touch I do a free half hour where we can explore what is going on and at an unconscious level we can change things really quickly.
Until Next Week
The Emotional Causes of Tiredness
– How it affects your business and life
If you are feeling tired and you think that there is something physically wrong then go and see your GP.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I discuss emotional tiredness. That time when you get up in the morning and you’re still tired. You know you’ve slept but you haven’t slept well. You’re falling asleep during the day, there’s nothing wrong on a physical level and you know it’s a mindset issue.
A lot of people suffer with tiredness and it can affect your business and life goals. Watch the video and get in touch if you need some help.
Maybe it’s caused by your emotional state.
You might feel anxious and you’ve got a lot of things buzzing around in your head or you might feel sad and really low and lacking energy. Or there may be a lot of conflict going on in your mind or a lot of overwhelm. It could even be related to any other emotions like anger, fear, hurt or guilt.
If these things are going on in your mind then it will have an affect on your physiology and your cells and it will create a physiological state of tiredness.
The emotional state is driven by your reality. Your reality can be caused by negative emotions or memories from the past, negative beliefs and conflicts in your beliefs.
The symptoms that you can get from this include:
- not being present,
- not being motivated,
- putting things off,
- a reluctance to engage,
- overeating or binge eating,
- or drinking alcohol
If you’ve got these symptoms and this tiredness, then it’s really difficult to get your goals. So if you are not getting your goals or you are doing behaviours that you don’t want and you are experiencing this emotional tiredness then give me a shout. I do a free half hour call where we can discuss where the tiredness has come from.
Until Next Week
Dr Bridget – Getting some rest to recharge my batteries
Using different spaces for different results
In terms of how we make changes, the environment is really important.
In this week’s Prescription for Success I consider the different spaces we use to undertake different tasks and how we can benefit from choosing the right space for each task. Watch the video and test this out for yourself to see if you are using your spaces effectively.
This morning it was pouring with rain and I thought “where do I sit to write some blogs, to do my accounts, to work with clients?” This just struck me as being really important.
I’ve just finished running the first half of an NLP Practitioner Course and in the next half we are going to be talking about anchoring and you can get really anchored in spaces.
I like to sit outside on the decking and have a coffee and do some meditation. I’ve got chickens so I like to sit with the chickens and think about things. I also like to sit down by the river because the river is rushing and it gives a different energy. I like to work in coffee shops.
I think it’s about different sorts of energy. Do you want energy that is quiet or busy or relatively neutral?
I sit in my kitchen and look out over the garden and that’s where I tend to write my blogs it’s where I get my ideas because there is a lot of information but it’s also quite peaceful.
What are your spaces?
I’d just like to ask you what are your spaces?
So write a list of your spaces. Then list what sort of emotions you anchor to those spaces and what tasks you can do in those spaces and let me know how you get on. It is a really useful exercise and can be very helpful.
If you want to talk to me about anything about mindset or you are interested in coming on courses, or you just want to get unstuck, as you know I’m known as the ‘Chief Unsticker’ then get in touch, I do a free half hour call where we can have a chat and find out how I can help you.
Until Next Week
Dr Bridget – choosing my spaces creatively
How useful is flexibility?
In NLP we teach the key presupposition that the person with the most flexibility is in charge of the system. So, how useful is it to us to be flexible?
In this week’s Prescription for Success I talk about how being flexible can help you get the outcomes you desire. Listen to the video and have a think about how flexible you are and is it working for you.
I’ve recently been really interested in myself because there is something that I would really like to happen which involves another person and they’ve got a different model of the world.
I really wanted it and I was doing everything I could to get what I wanted but it wasn’t working.
I thought, I’m an NLP Master Trainer and I teach that the person with the most flexibility is in charge of the system and I was aware that I wasn’t being particularly flexible. So, I took a step back and thought about the results that I really wanted, I then thought about how I could change my communication, my beliefs and maybe my environment so that I could actually influence that result and get the outcome I wanted.
If you are struggling with getting an outcome, ask yourself:
- What is the outcome I want?
- Is my behaviour and what I am doing getting me the outcome?
- Are my beliefs helping me get the outcome?
If you are not getting the outcome, then think about what you can do differently in order to get that outcome.
I would also say take that positive intention that this is going to happen.
If you are interested in finding out more about this my NLP courses cover all of these things , the flexibility, being in charge of the system is a key presupposition in NLP and it makes life very interesting.
Get in touch if you’d like to have a chat about courses or you need some help with being flexible.
Until Next Week
Dr Bridget – being flexible