Posts

Recognising the Causes of Conflict

What Causes Conflict?

conflict

Get Rid of Conflict

Hello – Are you experiencing any conflicts in your thinking, where you find it difficult to make decisions, affecting your emotional state and leading to behaviour that’s not you?

Or maybe you have colleagues and friends who have been wondering why they are feeling confused and can’t do what they want to do.

Covid and many other traumatic events have led to trauma, loneliness, isolation and these things can create conflict in our thinking – in our neurology.

Watch the video to find out the causes and get in touch if you are experiencing conflict as it is easy to help you re program your thinking  to resolve this. NLP is a content free way of resolving patterns of thinking  so that you can feel completely clear about your life.

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Here’s a summary:

Whether due to Covid  or other events in your life, significant emotional events lead to conflict which has the ability to create changes in our neurology and programming.

  • Parts – where part of us believes one thing and part of us believes another. Or sometimes we believe one thing and sometimes we believe another. Its exhausting and affects our ability to make decisions.
  • Values changes – maybe things such as security and health have become more important and these conflict with values that you used to have
  • Beliefs – maybe we have adopted beliefs that limit us or maybe empower us? How resilient are you?

The techniques in NLP can remove conflict really easily, realigning your memories, values and beliefs with your goals so there is NO CONFLICT. And in a very comfortable way.

The ways that I help people to resolve these challenges are by 1:1 coaching, Breakthrough Coaching and NLP Training, where you also learn how to use these skills yourself.

Get in touch to find out how you can resolve conflict right now.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

How to Manage your Emotional State

 

How to Manage you Emotional State

Emotional state

Manage your Emotions

Hello – If you want to live your life to the full in a positive and resilient way, getting the success that you want and deserve, then managing your emotional state is key. As we’ve experienced over the last year, life sometimes happens around us in an unwanted manner and we can either become really negative or we can choose how to respond emotionally. We can also transmit a great emotional state to others which helps us in business and in our relationships and life in general.

As we know, our emotional state is created by our unconscious mind and therefore, we need to work at that level to  make changes. watch the video and then read some of my tips below it.

The way that we filter the information that comes into our senses uses our memories and experiences, our values or motivators and our beliefs. Also the language that we use to label our experiences and our metaprograms. These filters and the way that we use generalising, deleting and distorting create a reality  for us. This then leads to an emotional state. The second way that we create our emotional state is from our physiology. If we  go for a walk or a swim or do star jumps, for example, then our emotional state changes. If we sit hunched up, then we get different emotions. The third way that our emotional state is affected is by a feedback loop from our behaviour and our results. This feeds into our filters and so the loop goes on. So the main tip that I have for you is to get rid of any negative patterns that cause behaviours and get you results you don’t want.

Here are three other tips I have for changing a negative emotional state.

  1.  If you become aware of negativity , then look upwards. it’s difficult to feel negative when you do that.
  2. Use your peripheral vision – this is described in the video. It stops your negative chatter
  3. Step out of your reality. Look at yourself like a fly on the wall would and observe what you are doing and take lessons from that perspective.

All of these are very effective, and if you want to learn more techniques then get in touch. Sometimes we feel stuck and unable to change- if this is you, then we can change that very quickly.

Time Line therapy (R) gets rid of all of the negative emotional states and leaves you free to live your life in the way that you want to.

You can also learn these techniques by coming on an NLP course. Everyone that comes on a course leaves with positivity and a passion for living their life to the full as well as having skills to help others do just that.

Until next week-

Dr Bridget – removing negatives from your life.

 

Image by 🎄Merry Christmas 🎄 from Pixabay

How to Start with the End in Mind

Starting with the End in Mind

End in Mind

End in Mind

You’ve now got the three things that you want to achieve in 2021, having read the blog last week or  found some other way of doing this. So now it’s important to reach your goals. Many people start where they are and head off in a direction that they think will get them there. However, the most effective way is to take your goals and work backwards from them. This engages your unconscious mind and has the effect of putting the goal on automatic pilot. Watch the video, grab some post it notes, take one of your goals and put the actions in order starting at the goal. Then  you will know what to do at the beginning.

Starting with the end in mind will help you with:

  • Self Control
  • Planning effectively
  • Motivation
  • A higher expectancy of getting your goals

The basic premise is that if you start with your goals – THERE- you will know where to START to get THERE.

I did this very task to reach our goals of going away every month in our camper van. The starting point that I’ve worked out is to tax the van. I now have a planned and scheduled list of things to do to be able to take the van away once we can. And it feels easy.

If you need some help to start with the end in mind, contact me for a free thirty minute talk.

I worked with a client a couple of weeks ago who was stuck and they didn’t feel as though they were good enough to even set goals, let alone take action. We sorted that out over a few hours and they are now fully focused on their goal- which is strong in their mind. They can now find out where to start.

If you feel stuck, here’s a link to my personal breakthrough coaching page where you can find information and testimonials about this. I work with people who are stuck on a regular basis and have 2 opportunities every month for people to access this.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – helping you get THERE.

3 Things You Want to be True by the End of 2021

What 3 things do you want  to be true?

Three things

Three things

Hey – I know its  been a hard year and I want to congratulate you for getting through it and working on your resilience and self belief!

And I hope you made the best of the few days off.

I’m not a big fan of just planning in the New Year as I believe we should be doing this throughout the year. However, if you choose 3 things that you want to be true by the end of the year, that will help you enormously with your business and life success and your mental wellness.

Watch the video and then choose your 3 things. If you fancy letting me know what they are, that would be brilliant- you will inspire me as well!

Click here for the things to help you set some really compelling goals.

Personally, I have 3 things that I want to achieve – I have a lot of specifics that I haven’t included but I have them written down and they are clear in my unconscious mind. And I know that I am going to get them. Notice how I’ve put myself there already.

So it’s 31st December 2021 and I am:

  1. Running my two companies successfully. This is my Dr Bridget NLP Limited company which is continuing to make a different to people’s lives and businesses. Also the Trauma Breakthrough Collective Community Interest Company which is about quickly removing emotions surrounding people’s traumatic experiences.
  2. I am organised and effective so that I can enjoy my time on my 2 other goals. My paper work is filed and organised and my plans for the day, week, month and quarter  are clear in my head and being acted on.
  3. Spending time with  my husband doing projects and going on holiday. We have been on 2 holidays and have finished a variety of projects which we planned in January 2021.

I have enjoyed the last year and feel fulfilled , clear and excited about 2022.

Click here for my more detailed plan for my 3 things which fits with the keys to compelling outcomes. This is me holding myself accountable to you as well so feel free to do the same back on info@drbridgetnlp.com

Here’s the thing – Once you have your 3 things that are really compelling, you can work backwards from the end and then everything will fit as it will all line up. Next weeks blog is about how to do exactly that. (Working with the End in Mind)

Here is the tool to help you set goals and to read mine

If you are struggling to find 3 things, then click here to get in touch. Often we have reasons and excuses that stop us from believing that setting goals is possible. This is generally you getting on your own way, and we can sort that out very quickly. The really great thing about NLP is that we can get rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts without spending long time going over what’s happened.

So, keep safe and happy and let me know what your plans are and whether I can help.

Dr Bridget – helping you feel fulfilled and taking action towards  what you want.

Happy 2021!

P.S. My next NLP course starts in February – here is the link to find out more. A mind blowing, unsticking and success getting course.

 

 

 

Thinking Around a Problem- How to do this

Thinking around a problem

Thinking

Think around a problem

NLP is a great coaching and therapeutic modality that isn’t about the story of what happened – it has a techniques and linguistic approach to solving problems. So it is a very comfortable way to resolve issues without spending too much time in the emotional or content aspects of the problem. Cool stuff eh?

Last week I talked about how to understand how a problem is formed and this week, I will talk about how to use a tool to destroy the boundaries around the problem so that is just disappears. Watch the video and get really interested in how to use this for yourself:-

So, a problem is a  problem because it has a boundary and once we destroy the boundary the problem disappears. We can use quantum linguistics to wobble or destroy the boundary by thinking around it. Descartes, a French philosopher in the sixteenth century created Cartesian Co-ordinates and it’s a great way of exploring decisions,

If we take the decision of whether to take a job. A = What would happen and B=Take the job

AB = what would happen if I took the the job?

A nonB = What would happen if I didn’t take the job?

NonA B = What wouldn’t happen if I took the job?

NonA nonB = What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t take the job?

So pick something that you want to test your thinking out on.

Put it into a form of AB

Then create the questions and work them through – its very interesting

Have fun and if you want to learn more, then have a look at the link for my NLP courses or contact me to talk about how we can destroy your problems or make decisions so that you can live the life you want.

Till next week

Dr Bridget – helping you with thinking around your problems

 

Understanding problems from an NLP perspective

What is a problem and how can NLP help?

Problems

Boundary

Most people work very hard to solve challenges and problems that are keeping them stuck, but aren’t really sure how they got the problem or how it’s structured. NLP gives you that explanation and it becomes easy to see how to get rid of it. And of course that means that you don’t have to stay in the problem – just understand it and solve it.

Myself and also people who come on courses have a good understanding of the patterns that lead to problems so I thought I’d get back to basics with you to let you know as well. It’s fascinating.

Watch the video and then follow the steps below to start reflecting.

So, if you accept that you have what you call a problem and that you didn’t have that problem when you were born, there must have been a time when you decided to do the problem. And the thing that has made this NOT PROBLEM into a PROBLEM will form part of the boundaries of the problem. In NLP, we simply want to get rid of the boundaries so that the problem disappears. An that is about recognising patterns.

The things that form the boundary are often:

  • Limiting  un-useful beliefs that you think are true or can’t solve
  • Negative emotions
  • Traumas
  • Internal conflicts

As we have so many techniques in NLP that get rid of these patterns, it is easy to solve problems and get rid of that feeling of stuck.

Let’s help you to think about this. If you know that you have a problem that you can’t solve, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do  you want to solve the problem?
  • Do  you know that you have created this in your thinking at some stage?
  • Do you know what is keeping it as a problem?
  • Would you like some help?

Coaching with myself helps you to realise what the main problem is, helps you to identify the boundary issues and then get rid of them. Here is the link for coaching.

If  you fancy learning to help others to identify and resolve problems , then an NLP course is for  you. You can either come on a taster day or, if you want to work with others, an NLP practitioner course to get certified.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – solving your problems without any pain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why should we set goals? Here’s why, how and a worksheet to help.

Why should we set goals?

Setting Goals

Setting Goals

One of the things I do early on in my NLP Certified Practitioner training is to have everyone set their goal and understand some of the things that are essential for creating a compelling goal.  People who have completed the course often feedback that setting their goal is one of their favourite parts of the early training as it really gives them a sense of where they are going.

It’s about making sure that you have all your brain focused on the positives that you really want, this is much more effective than simply setting the old fashioned SMART goals. And the truth is, you can use these things and set goals every month, every week and every day and hour if you want to.

Watch the video below and start to set goals using the three things I discuss – I’ve also attached a pdf below the video which you can use to set your goals.

Here are the top 3 tips with a bit more of an explanation and the pdf with examples and space to write your own.

FREE PDF: 3 Must Do’s for Compelling goal setting

1.  Make sure that you write down what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Remember that what you focus on is what you get, so if you focus on what you don’t want, that’s what you will get. Also, make it about your whole life and make sure that you can act as if you already have it. If you can’t do this, then go back over your goals and ask yourself why not. Maybe you have some doubts?

2. Write down your sensory evidence for getting the goal. What will you see around you, hear and feel when you have this outcome

3. Write down when you want it, where you want it, how you are going to get it and who you want it with. Remember that all goals that are for you need to be under your control and you can get them without relying on someone else.

If you have any doubts or have set goals and never achieved them, give me a call apply for a free consultation and get some pointers. You can also fill in a form here and I will get in touch as soon as I can.

Remember, if you set compelling goals, you are likely to achieve them and if you don’t you probably won’t. If you’d like to learn more about setting goals and want to develop yourself personally and get great skills to use with teams, clients (and family) then you can become an NLP Practitioner.

If you want more help with your goals please check out How to make sure you get your goals – Part 1 to get started.

Till next time, happy goal setting

Dr Bridget

An NLP Tool – The Hero’s Journey.

Taking a Hero’s Journey

Hero's Journey

Hero’s Journey

Hello.

This is a really useful tool to overcome obstacles on your way to your goal. It is an adaptation of Joseph’s Campbell’s tool developed in 1949 and follows a structure that we can see in many tales and films. The Hero’s Journey.

Encompassing goals, obstacles, villains and mentors, it gives us a tool to be able to cross thresholds and reach our goals. Watch the video and then use the tool to realise your dreams.


In the Hero’s Journey, the hero has a goal to reach which may be to find a princess or capture a castle or round up baddies.

If you get several pieces of paper on the floor  so that you can walk the hero’s journey, you’ll have many lightbulb moments and cross the threshold that  you previously couldn’t cross.

Papers needed:-

  1. Your goal
  2. Now
  3. Your threshold – see the video for where to place this
  4. List of your mentors or role models
  5. A list of the villains – internal or external

Follow the instructions in the video to be able to cross the threshold and complete your Hero’s Journey.

This is a brilliant tool and is very kinaesthetic when you walk it out on the floor. Perhaps think about asking someone to buddy up with you and supporting each other to resolve  barriers and threshold issues so that you can reach teh goals that you have set yourself.

This is a technique I teach on my Time Line Therapy, Hypnosis and NLP Coach course. If you’d like to join a course, here’s the link for the certified NLP Practitioner course

If you find you still can’t cross your threshold, let me know and we can talk it through and start you off on this Hero’s journey.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – keeping you travelling, in business and life

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Change the Direction of Thoughts using Language

Changing the Direction of  your Thoughts

Hello

Direction

Which way?

Everyone’s model of the world is different and we create our reality with our values, our beliefs, our experiences and our language. We also change our language depending on these filters and the world around us. The phrases that we say have a big impact on our motivation either in a negative way or a positive way. Watch the video and then reflect and use the tool I give you below.

There are some phrases that aren’t helpful in giving us positive direction- here are just a few of them:

  • I shouldn’t
  • I mustn’t
  • I oughtn’t  to

or

  • I can’t
  • I won’t

or

  • I couldn’t
  • I wouldn’t
  • I’d better not

When we say these phrases or any others like this, we create a reality for ourself, and others around us, that is negative and demotivating. And I’m sure that you’d like to change this.

If we said these phrases instead:

  • I can
  • I shall
  • I will
  • It’s time

Can you see how much more motivational they are?

So we can change the direction of our thoughts using these positive phrases.

Here’s an example: “I know you think that you shouldn’t and are sure that you can’t but it you take the time to consider the possibilities, maybe it’s time and you will definitely achieve what you want to do!”

The next time someone says to you “I can’t”, take them on a journey to “I can” and “I will”. They will be inspired and change their reality.

And if you find yourself using words that create a negative reality, take yourself on that journey as well.

If you find yourself unable to change your thoughts using words, get in touch and have a discovery session with me.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – pointing you in the right direction

 

 

 

 

Language – working with people’s metaphors

Language Creates our Reality

Hello.

Metaphors

Metaphors

Our language is a key factor in creating our emotions, our health and our behaviour, which we know leads to results. So VERY IMPORTANT. We can use it to increase our resilience, to gain rapport, to influence, negotiate and problem solve.

When we start to really listen to how people use their language and to notice the metaphors that they are using, then we can help people to create a different reality and start to understand their own and our own.

Watch the video and continue reading below it.

The sentences/phrases that I heard on the TV recently were:

  • The dust is settling
  • It’s a moveable feast

And these phrases were about Covid – I was confused by them- What dust I thought? Where is it settling? What sort of feast? I had a picture of a plate with pizza on it being handed around! -I know, I’m a bit strange

Then a client said to me

  • I’ve got fog in my head
  • I’ve been dealt a body blow

Such emotive language and so useful. I asked the client a couple of  questions which then uncovered the real meaning of what they were saying.

What sort of fog is that fog? And is there anything else about the fog?

It turned out that it was a grey swirly fog in his brain. Now NLP techniques can help that and we soon cleared it and had clarity instead.

With the body blow language I asked them. What sort of body blow is that body blow? They said – it’s my heart – it’s been cut in two.

So we also sorted that one  out. If I hadn’t asked the questions, it would have  been a totally different conversation.

So notice your metaphors, notice other peoples metaphors and use these 2 questions to delve deeper:

  • What sort of x is that x ?
  • And is there anything else about  x?

So language is fascinating and very useful to learn about.

Until next week, keep listening and get fascinated.

Dr Bridget – Unpicking your metaphors to help you create your life

P.S – We are now booking onto the NLP Practitioner course for February 2021 – this will be on-line

 

 

 

What’s of High Importance to You?

Are there gaps in your life that you are trying to fill?

High Importance

Gap

When we speak to people, sometimes we notice that there are things that are of high importance to them – often things that they haven’t got and are striving to get.

And maybe we notice them in our self – certainly I have recently been striving for support and people that I can open up to. This is probably a function of my husbands poor memory and COVID, but it’s been there for ages. It’s a pattern and it get’s triggered. Being an NLP Master Trainer, I’m very interested in it.

We can notice

  • The gap that we are trying to fill
  • The triggers that set off an emotional response to it
  • The patterns that we then run

Watch the video and then answer the questions for yourself:

Here are the questions and possible answers:

  1. What are you best at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?
  2. What are you worst at? Starting things, Changing things or Stopping things?

If you are worst at starting things, ask yourself: Who are you not being that you want to be?

If you are worst at changing things, ask yourself: What are you  not doing that you want to do?

If you are worst at stopping things, ask yourself: What do you not have that you want to have?

Notice if any of the answers to these questions bring up emotions for you. Also ask yourself if this is something that tends to affect your life across all segments?

Is it of High Importance

If so, ask yourself if this is something that you can solve yourself. If not , then get in touch as there are many NLP techniques that we can use to help you to get rid of the gap that brings up these emotions.

Get in touch if you need help and access a free session

Also get in touch if you want to help other people to solve these challenges and reactions by Learning NLP Skills

Until next week, have fun with the questions,

Dr Bridget – here to help

Why We Don’t Delegate

Do you Delegate?

Delegate

Grow a Pear

Two things prompted me to write this post this week.

  1. I was listening to someone else’s blog recently that said – We do more and more things ourselves until we realise that we are just rubbish at doing them- I thought – Yep- That’s me.
  2. I’ve finally delegated most of my administrative tasks to my Business Development/Admin Manager and it’s been life changing I must say. Why did I wait so long? It’s almost as though I’ve now cleared space for growth and also a work life balance.

Watch the video and see if any of these reasons apply to you:

I very clearly remember sitting in my log cabin office wondering  how to do my web site, how to do videos and how to network effectively. And that was 9 years ago. One of the 1st things I delegated was my videoing so thanks to Chris for that. I have also delegated my web site to people and that has worked really well – I have more clients now which has more than paid for it. Networking is now planned although COVID has changed some of that.

Our beliefs are usually the culprit for our difficulty delegating:

  • I’ve got to keep control
  • No-one does it as well as me
  • They may change my business and then leave
  • They may steal all of my ideas
  • It will be too expensive

I have done all of these beliefs and it kept me in the same place for ages.

Here are the reframes:

  • Communication about what’s important to you enables you to keep control
  • People definitely do it better than me – ask Chris – my video expert
  • Go with your gut instinct, keep great communication going and put some boundaries in
  • Your ideas are worth spreading. Put a contract in and enforce it if it’s important to you
  • My time is charged at a much higher rate than the people I delegate to so make sure that you use the freed up up time effectively

Really – we just need to GROW A PAIR and take action to delegate

If your beliefs are getting in the way and action doesn’t solve it, get in touch – it’s simple to change your programming about these things.

See you next week,

Dr Bridget – giving you permission to do what you do best and delegate.

P.S My next NLP Training is likely to be live and on-line.

Here’s the link to book to change your life.

 

P.S. I misspelt growing a PEAR – hence the picture