Posts

Self Belief

Self Belief – Where Does it Come From?

Self Belief – It’s SO Important

Hello!

Self Belief is SO Important – for your life, your Business, your Career!

Self Belief

Self belief

Here’s the thing – If you don’t believe in yourself, then life is uncomfortable, you feel frustrated with yourself and always feel as though there is something more that’s stopping you feeling fulfilled. In short-you probably feel stuck!

Self Belief is an internal feeling that you can do whatever you want and, in this blog, I talk about 4 of the ways that you can increase your self belief. This means that you will be totally comfortable, calm and certain in your direction.

Watch the video below and then take the action needed. Book a free session if you need help

The 4 things that will help (and there are many others) are:

  1. Understand where a lack of self belief has come from. Think about your upbringing. Were you encouraged or not? Were you expected to get 100% in everything (but only achieved 95%)? Did you get laughed at or bullied? Remember that you may have put self doubt in your thinking during your life and that is IN THE PAST. You can simply decide you do believe in yourself and move forward. Again, this something that you’ve wired into your thinking and if you can’t remove it, I specialise in unsticking you so get in touch.
  2. Develop Resilience. Realise that you are in charge and that you can start over, change direction and have positive people around you. Start to re-frame your thoughts – if you think that  you aren’t good enough, look for examples where you are – for instance in your relationships or your hobbies and say to yourself ” I am good enough in lots of areas and I just need to make some changes in this one area”- That statement has a different feel to it doesn’t it?
  3. Start writing about your thoughts and feelings -be grateful for what you have achieved and reward yourself for your successes. It raises your awareness and you can start to decide different things and test them out. This is journaling and it isn’t difficult – just very helpful
  4. Get some positive people around you. Those that will support you no matter what. Find someone that you can ring if you have doubts- they may not be someone that you already know or they may be people that you do know – just test them out and develop a mutually supportive relationship. You’ll know when  you have one.

I have written a low cost e-book Re-writing your story which you can find here and don’t forget that you can get in touch for some support
My FB group -One Step Closer is somewhere where you can get further tips and support -I’d love to see you there.

Until next week, remember that I believe in you and you can as well!

Dr Bridget
Life

Does Life Get in Your Way?

Does Life Get in  Your Way

Life

Is Life in Your Way

I’ve been talking with quite a lot of people recently about their journey to success and getting unstuck. And generally, they have been really useful conversations. Yesterday, I rung someone who wanted to speak to me and they didn’t answer, and I thought it strange as they’d been through a process to book an appointment with me – (by the way, you can do this as well by clicking here). And you know how you mind read in these situations:-

  • Maybe they forgot it was dinner time
  • Maybe the kids played up
  • Maybe they had some doubts whether it was worth speaking to me – perhaps they were really stuck and got scared
  • Or may be life just got in the way

I will probably never know  but it made me think about how many opportunities we may miss because of “life” and it inspired this blog.

Watch the video below and then think about the examples below and the tool I give you to help you make the decisions

Some examples –

  • Maybe you’ve been invited to a networking event or other event and you were just too tired and then wondered whether you should have gone
  • Maybe someone said to you “why are you going to do that?”
  • Maybe you got caught up in other people’s should’s and ought to’s and just gave up?
  • Maybe you had to do the shopping or ironing?

Did you end up regretting your decision? Did you miss an opportunity?

Or maybe these thoughts came to your mind:-

  • It doesn’t feel right
  • Its not going to get me my goals
  • It’s not relevant to me

I suggest you find a piece of paper and draw a line down it vertically half way across. On one side you write “What if I did?” and on the other side, write “What if I didn’t?” And fill the answers in. You’ll soon be thinking this for any decision that you take. And you won’t miss important opportunities by letting life get in  your way.

Until next week, look out for those opportunities in life and If you’d like to talk to me about getting out of your own way book a free appointment.

Dr Bridget

Creating Time

Creating Time for your Future

Creating Time for Your Future

Creating Time

Creating Time

The results were amazing – there was a slight issue that needed to be tackled though and it was a fairly obvious one to me.

So my client was fully focused on increasing his business turn over by 10 fold after getting all of the negatives out of his head with a breakthrough intensive coaching session with me. It was obvious what was happening as he  was very tired as well as very busy (and well on his way to his target). When I started asking him specifics about the progress, it turned out that he had not taken time out to evaluate, plan and congratulate himself on a regular basis. He didn’t really know how much business he had brought in the previous week and how many new clients he had or even worked out a plan for the next week. And he couldn’t look after himself as well as he wanted because he was so busy. And this busyness, and the solution, applies to people wanting to be successful in a career, in a relationship and in life in general. Watch the video below and let me know what happens when you start to do this yourself.

Here’s my suggestion:
Work out when you can take an hour out of being busy in the week, on a regular basis, to get clarity and plan

  • Put it on your diary right now!
  • Get clarity about your goal
  • Decide what you are going to measure
  • Produce a plan for the next week and work out how you will monitor that
  • Think about your progress towards your goal
  • Treat yourself if you have done what you said you were going to do – something meaningful

Let me know how it goes and the insights that you have from doing this

If you are struggling, book a slot with me to talk about it – it may be what you’ve needed all along.

My Facebook closed group, called One Step Closer is also a place where you can discuss these issues with people who may be experiencing similar challenges.

See you next week

Dr Bridget

 

Story

How people around you have helped create your story

Story

Generations

Recently I’ve written for Psychologies Magazine about  a theme that’s close to my heart – “Rewriting your Story”. It was in the June 2018 issue in the dossier section if you want to find it. I’ve also been doing some Face Book lives for them which has been welcomed by readers and watchers.

Rewriting your story is about  how your values and beliefs create your story- that chatter that you have in your head that leads to your behaviour and your actions. And then starting to rewrite it, if it is not working for you.

People also have an influence on this and this can be from generations ago. If you think about it, maybe your Gran or Grandad and the story they had, may have an impact on you. Sometimes they are involved directly in bringing you up  or have influenced your parents. I have a lot of clients who’s parents have adopted behaviours and attitudes from their parents – remember the “Children should be seen and not heard”  beliefs from a couple of generations ago. Also, your parents may have had a challenging upbringing which has directly affected the way they brought you up.

Or maybe you have had generations of love and support and then find yourself in a relationship where people put less value on family and support?

Of course, other people around you today contribute to you story- your peers, colleagues, friends, clients.

Watch the video below and then ask yourself the questions below it:

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you happy with your “story”?
  • Who has influenced who you are today?
  • Are you happy with that story?
  • If not, can you move on?

Get in touch with me here or give me a ring on 07973 635102 if not.

You can also book an appointment here. 

If you have a story that doesn’t help you, there are plenty of ways that I can help and that will start with a  session to talk about what is going on for you and how I can help.

Until next week, happy re-writing!

Dr Bridget

 

Communication

Understanding a Specific Communication Challenge

Communication Challenges – understanding them

Communication

Communication challenges

One of the ways in which we all differ is in the way that we communicate and this can cause challenges in relationships, actions that we take and our understanding of other people.

One of the filters that we use to deal with the vast amount of information coming into our senses are called metaprogrammes, of which there are 18. They may sound complicated but they aren’t and its simply a question of you understanding where you are on the scale of each.

The one that I am going to talk about today is whether people are literal or inferential speakers. So literal speakers are very direct and say exactly what they think and are specific about what they want.

Inferential speakers are very keen not to upset people and therefore tend to hint, imply and “go around the houses” when they speak. Inferential speaker might say ” Do you want a mint?” and literal speakers might say “You need to brush your teeth”. Inferential speakers might say ” Do you think we should look at other holidays” and a literal speaker would say ” I don’t want to go there”

The problem and  challenge for inferential speakers is that they bend over backwards to not offend people and, in doing so, fail to get their message across and end up feeling frustrated or misunderstood. If you are a literal speaker, then  people may get upset by your straight forwardness.

Watch the video below and ask yourself which you are.

You could ask other people what they think or simply observe people’s reactions to what you say. Then you can decide whether to adapt your communication – after all, the meaning of your communication is the results that you get.

If you are interested in the differences between people and would like to learn more about effective communication, have a look at my NLP Practitioner course and contact me to find out when the next courses are.

Happy communicating  and catch up next week.

Dr Bridget