Posts

How to Understand Your Emotions

Emotional state

Understanding your emotions

There are several models in psychology and NLP about understanding your emotions but the one I want us to focus on this week is a two dimensional model. This model is really useful because if you can understand and grade your emotions, you’ll then realise what you need to do to change your emotions and this really is empowering.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I’m going to unpack this two-dimensional model for you and explain how being aware of your emotions can benefit you. Watch the video and work through the different examples below as this is an interesting way of looking at it and awareness is key.

 

The two dimensional model takes account of:

  1. Valence – which is attractiveness, whether something is good or bad, positive or negative, it’s the subjective attractiveness of the emotion.
  2. Arousal – which refers to whether you are energetic or lethargic, wakeful or sleepy

Valence, is that subjective feeling. For example just because something is good or bad it doesn’t mean it is good or bad for you or for someone else.

Similarly, with arousal if you have negative feelings such as fear or anger they may appear negative but they actually could be really motivating for you.  Alternatively, you may have what are considered as positive feelings like relaxed or calm but these might potentially be preventing you from taking action.

So let’s consider this in a little more detail looking at the different combinations of Arousal and Valence

High Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Astonished, Excited, Delighted, Happy, Pleased

High Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Content, Serene, Calm, Relaxed

Low Valence and High Arousal    Examples are Annoyed, Afraid, Angry, Frustrated

Low Valence and Low Arousal     Examples are Miserable, Depressed, Bored, Tired

Two dimensional Model of Emotion

Maybe if you knew which  you were doing at any one time, you could choose to do a different combination?

If you find that you are not managing your emotions then please get in touch here or give me a call on 07973 635102   –  I’m a “chief unsticker” and sometimes these negatives get in our way,  I can help you to manage your emotions, no matter where they have come from  so that you can live the life you want and have the business you want.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – On an emotional roll!

Why hope matters

Hope matters

Why does hope matter?

When I first came across this concept about ‘Why hope matters’ in an article I was reading, I was a little unsure about it.  The reason for my uncertainty was that I think that using words like ‘try’, ‘maybe’, ‘wish’ or ‘hope’,  isn’t very positive or effective. This is because our unconscious mind thinks ‘it might not happen’ or ‘it doesn’t really matter’.

In this week’s Prescription for Success I share with you some really interesting insights into ‘why hope matters’  when it comes to creating your future reality.  Watch the video and consider below your attitude and stance when it comes to ‘hope’.

Someone who is hopeful is someone who is radically realistic.

I can never decide whether I’m a ‘glass half empty’ or a ‘glass half full’ type of person. I think of myself as being really positive but I do also consider what the obstacles might be and then mitigate against them.  In the article it  actually stated that someone who is hopeful looks at obstacles and makes plans to get around them. Whew – that’s a relief!

It’s also reassuring that leaders inspire hope in both themselves and others and it gives them their purpose.

Ask yourself:

Are you a ‘High Hoper’?

‘High hopers’ take action, they withstand discomfort or pain, they are equipped for diversity. Hope gives us drive and is goal directed.

There are three things that ‘High Hopers’ have:

  1. Destination – they have highly developed goals.
  2. Route – they know how they are going to get to their goals.
  3. Means of Transport – they know how they are going to do it,  how they are going achieve their goals.

Whereas “Low Hopers’ tend to generalise about their destination so they may know where they are going but are unclear about it . They may have an idea about how they are going to get there but are vague about their actions.

So I want to ask you which would you rather be – a ‘High Hoper’ – ‘Low Hoper’ or maybe somewhere in the middle.

Think about whether you are:

  • clear about your destination;
  • clear about your route;
  • and clear about the means of transport.

If you are not clear about any of these and your really want to be a ‘High Hoper’ and a high achiever then get in touch or give me a call on  07973 635102 as there are lots of things that can get in your way and I’m really skilled in getting rid of those for you.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Hoping you get in touch!

How to Plan Using NLP Techniques

Planning using NLP Techniques

Plan

Plan with NLP

Hello. Last week I did a video talking about your personal exit strategy for Covid, and as I was doing it, I had this thought. “Some of you , including myself in this, may be having challenges planning during this uncertain time.” And the thought started me wondering where planning “sits” within NLP.

Here is a link to a video which explains how we get results and  of course, planning sits everywhere within this Communication Model. It is of course a behaviour, but behaviours come from how we filter the information coming into our head.

Watch the video and then reflect on your planning and learn a new technique:

If we put aside Covid and any other challenges that maybe going on in your  world, and plan for what we really want to happen, things have a way of coming true. It involves getting a great emotional state that is connected to planning. This creates us a reality which creates a behaviour that is about great planning.

of course, exercising, eating a healthy diet and keeping hydrated also help. As does having great support around you.

This technique, called Anchoring, involves thinking about a time when we planned really well and taking ourselves back to that time so that we can remember it as and when needed. My NLP courses teach you many more techniques.

My greatest planning times are when I meet up with a friend and colleague in a cafe or park and sit there with post its, pens and a large piece of paper. I get loads done and it feels really good. I can remember those times really easily and when I recall them, I fell clam and motivated and achieve the planning.

Here is the “script” to say to yourself to do the same.

“Can you remember a time, a specific time, when you were really feeling motivated by planning? As you remember that time, go back to that time, float down into your body, see what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel those feelings of being totally motivated about planning.”

And just remember those feelings by making a fist or doing a power pose or something similar.

I’m off to sit in my garden now to plan my next blogs, felling really motivated

Until next week:

Dr Bridget – planning just for you!

 

 

 

What is your Personal Covid Lockdown Exit Strategy?

Personal Exit Strategy

Exit StrategyHello – I’ve been attempting to keep inspired during Covid Lockdown by working out topics for my Mastermind STRETCH such as working out spaces for me to work in. Mugs to take to those spaces and, more recently, music to play in those spaces. And I’ve dared to start to think about when lockdown finishes – whether that is gradual or not. And I’ve found it useful to think about what I’m going to do then and not do. Watch the video and then think about making your own personal version of your exit strategy.

So I AM going to:

  • Connect and hug
  • Walk run and  jump, no matter how silly it looks
  • Be present
  • Be myself and show up
  • Be creative

I may even get to film videos in unusual spaces which I haven’t seen for over a year – like the beach or the tops of hills or maybe other people’s gardens. May even take a week off as there will be people to see and things to do.

And I’m NOT going to

  • Stay in
  • Get overwhelmed
  • Sit on my bum
  • Do and not reflect
  • Lose myself

Have you managed to retain a sense of self? I’ve just been keeping on doing things without thinking about who I am and whether I’m happy with that and I certainly haven’t been doing much exercise – hence the sitting on my bum point.

I’m sure there must be more so I’ll  continue reflecting. And of course, if I do the things I want to do, my reality will be great, my emotional state will be great and I’ll like what I’m doing and the results I will get.

How about you – what would you like to do and not do once restrictions ease?

Let me know.

If you’re struggling in ANY way or simply want some help with your personal lockdown exit strategy, contact me – I’d love life to be great for you going forward.

Dr Bridget

Keeping going together

How to Get Rid of Emotions after Trauma – PTSD

Getting Rid of Emotions after Trauma

Resolving PTSD

Hello

PTSDMost people have heard of PTSD and know that removing the symptoms that go with this diagnosis can be challenging. I’m not a fan of using the term PTSD as it implies that this is a mental health disorder, when in fact it is something that gives symptoms that can be easily removed. I remember when I was a GP, I worried about how to help those with this diagnosis. There is also a new label called Complex PTSD and I still remember a client telling me that they had been told they’d have the symptoms for life. I get cross about this because most people that I work with have had some form of trauma that affects their life and it only takes a few hours  to resolve this.

I have set up a Community Interest Company to work with people who have  had trauma and we are treating people who have had a variety of traumas in their life, whether this is acute or over time. The success  rate is 90-95% and takes less than 6 hours.

Watch the video and then look at the symptoms below. Perhaps you or someone you know have these symptoms and we can help you. Contact us here

Symptoms of PTSD include:

  • Nightmares, flashbacks and difficulty sleeping
  • Avoidance of triggers – people, places, scenarios
  • Physical symptoms such as sweating or shaking
  • Re-experiencing the event as though it is real now
  • Changes in mood

These symptoms can start after the event and last for many years.

Causes include many events which often involve experiencing near death for yourself or death /near death for other people. Also risk of or actual serious injury for self or other people.

The reason that people continue to have symptoms is due to the impairment of moving the memories from the fight and flight centre- the amygdala- to an area of the brain which deals with other types of memories. RTM changes the structure of the memories so that the emotions are separated from the memories and the event has moved into the past rather than being experienced as if now.

Please tell us if you know of people who have symptoms like this as we can help very quickly

See you next week

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

 

– helping you to rewire your thinking

Recognising the Causes of Conflict

What Causes Conflict?

conflict

Get Rid of Conflict

Hello – Are you experiencing any conflicts in your thinking, where you find it difficult to make decisions, affecting your emotional state and leading to behaviour that’s not you?

Or maybe you have colleagues and friends who have been wondering why they are feeling confused and can’t do what they want to do.

Covid and many other traumatic events have led to trauma, loneliness, isolation and these things can create conflict in our thinking – in our neurology.

Watch the video to find out the causes and get in touch if you are experiencing conflict as it is easy to help you re program your thinking  to resolve this. NLP is a content free way of resolving patterns of thinking  so that you can feel completely clear about your life.

#

Here’s a summary:

Whether due to Covid  or other events in your life, significant emotional events lead to conflict which has the ability to create changes in our neurology and programming.

  • Parts – where part of us believes one thing and part of us believes another. Or sometimes we believe one thing and sometimes we believe another. Its exhausting and affects our ability to make decisions.
  • Values changes – maybe things such as security and health have become more important and these conflict with values that you used to have
  • Beliefs – maybe we have adopted beliefs that limit us or maybe empower us? How resilient are you?

The techniques in NLP can remove conflict really easily, realigning your memories, values and beliefs with your goals so there is NO CONFLICT. And in a very comfortable way.

The ways that I help people to resolve these challenges are by 1:1 coaching, Breakthrough Coaching and NLP Training, where you also learn how to use these skills yourself.

Get in touch to find out how you can resolve conflict right now.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – making you whole again.

 

 

How to Manage your Emotional State

 

How to Manage you Emotional State

Emotional state

Manage your Emotions

Hello – If you want to live your life to the full in a positive and resilient way, getting the success that you want and deserve, then managing your emotional state is key. As we’ve experienced over the last year, life sometimes happens around us in an unwanted manner and we can either become really negative or we can choose how to respond emotionally. We can also transmit a great emotional state to others which helps us in business and in our relationships and life in general.

As we know, our emotional state is created by our unconscious mind and therefore, we need to work at that level to  make changes. watch the video and then read some of my tips below it.

The way that we filter the information that comes into our senses uses our memories and experiences, our values or motivators and our beliefs. Also the language that we use to label our experiences and our metaprograms. These filters and the way that we use generalising, deleting and distorting create a reality  for us. This then leads to an emotional state. The second way that we create our emotional state is from our physiology. If we  go for a walk or a swim or do star jumps, for example, then our emotional state changes. If we sit hunched up, then we get different emotions. The third way that our emotional state is affected is by a feedback loop from our behaviour and our results. This feeds into our filters and so the loop goes on. So the main tip that I have for you is to get rid of any negative patterns that cause behaviours and get you results you don’t want.

Here are three other tips I have for changing a negative emotional state.

  1.  If you become aware of negativity , then look upwards. it’s difficult to feel negative when you do that.
  2. Use your peripheral vision – this is described in the video. It stops your negative chatter
  3. Step out of your reality. Look at yourself like a fly on the wall would and observe what you are doing and take lessons from that perspective.

All of these are very effective, and if you want to learn more techniques then get in touch. Sometimes we feel stuck and unable to change- if this is you, then we can change that very quickly.

Time Line therapy (R) gets rid of all of the negative emotional states and leaves you free to live your life in the way that you want to.

You can also learn these techniques by coming on an NLP course. Everyone that comes on a course leaves with positivity and a passion for living their life to the full as well as having skills to help others do just that.

Until next week-

Dr Bridget – removing negatives from your life.

 

Image by 🎄Merry Christmas 🎄 from Pixabay

How to Start with the End in Mind

Starting with the End in Mind

End in Mind

End in Mind

You’ve now got the three things that you want to achieve in 2021, having read the blog last week or  found some other way of doing this. So now it’s important to reach your goals. Many people start where they are and head off in a direction that they think will get them there. However, the most effective way is to take your goals and work backwards from them. This engages your unconscious mind and has the effect of putting the goal on automatic pilot. Watch the video, grab some post it notes, take one of your goals and put the actions in order starting at the goal. Then  you will know what to do at the beginning.

Starting with the end in mind will help you with:

  • Self Control
  • Planning effectively
  • Motivation
  • A higher expectancy of getting your goals

The basic premise is that if you start with your goals – THERE- you will know where to START to get THERE.

I did this very task to reach our goals of going away every month in our camper van. The starting point that I’ve worked out is to tax the van. I now have a planned and scheduled list of things to do to be able to take the van away once we can. And it feels easy.

If you need some help to start with the end in mind, contact me for a free thirty minute talk.

I worked with a client a couple of weeks ago who was stuck and they didn’t feel as though they were good enough to even set goals, let alone take action. We sorted that out over a few hours and they are now fully focused on their goal- which is strong in their mind. They can now find out where to start.

If you feel stuck, here’s a link to my personal breakthrough coaching page where you can find information and testimonials about this. I work with people who are stuck on a regular basis and have 2 opportunities every month for people to access this.

Until next week, Dr Bridget – helping you get THERE.

3 Things You Want to be True by the End of 2021

What 3 things do you want  to be true?

Three things

Three things

Hey – I know its  been a hard year and I want to congratulate you for getting through it and working on your resilience and self belief!

And I hope you made the best of the few days off.

I’m not a big fan of just planning in the New Year as I believe we should be doing this throughout the year. However, if you choose 3 things that you want to be true by the end of the year, that will help you enormously with your business and life success and your mental wellness.

Watch the video and then choose your 3 things. If you fancy letting me know what they are, that would be brilliant- you will inspire me as well!

Click here for the things to help you set some really compelling goals.

Personally, I have 3 things that I want to achieve – I have a lot of specifics that I haven’t included but I have them written down and they are clear in my unconscious mind. And I know that I am going to get them. Notice how I’ve put myself there already.

So it’s 31st December 2021 and I am:

  1. Running my two companies successfully. This is my Dr Bridget NLP Limited company which is continuing to make a different to people’s lives and businesses. Also the Trauma Breakthrough Collective Community Interest Company which is about quickly removing emotions surrounding people’s traumatic experiences.
  2. I am organised and effective so that I can enjoy my time on my 2 other goals. My paper work is filed and organised and my plans for the day, week, month and quarter  are clear in my head and being acted on.
  3. Spending time with  my husband doing projects and going on holiday. We have been on 2 holidays and have finished a variety of projects which we planned in January 2021.

I have enjoyed the last year and feel fulfilled , clear and excited about 2022.

Click here for my more detailed plan for my 3 things which fits with the keys to compelling outcomes. This is me holding myself accountable to you as well so feel free to do the same back on info@drbridgetnlp.com

Here’s the thing – Once you have your 3 things that are really compelling, you can work backwards from the end and then everything will fit as it will all line up. Next weeks blog is about how to do exactly that. (Working with the End in Mind)

Here is the tool to help you set goals and to read mine

If you are struggling to find 3 things, then click here to get in touch. Often we have reasons and excuses that stop us from believing that setting goals is possible. This is generally you getting on your own way, and we can sort that out very quickly. The really great thing about NLP is that we can get rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts without spending long time going over what’s happened.

So, keep safe and happy and let me know what your plans are and whether I can help.

Dr Bridget – helping you feel fulfilled and taking action towards  what you want.

Happy 2021!

P.S. My next NLP course starts in February – here is the link to find out more. A mind blowing, unsticking and success getting course.

 

 

 

Can we Change Negative Beliefs? Here are Some Tips and why we have them.

Can we change negative beliefs? Here are some tips and why we have them.

 

Beliefs

Beliefs aren’t real

I’m really annoyed with myself when I think back. I  used to think that “no-one was on my side” and that came from a decision that I made many moons ago. Something happened and I decided that I was on my own. So, as we do, my brain focused on that decision. It became a belief and created my “reality” and I never noticed when anyone was there for me.

Here’s the explanation for what is happening: There are at least two million pieces of information of raw, unlabelled data that come into our senses. Things that we hear, things that we see and things that we touch. And we have a great filtering system so that we can reduce this amount of information to a manageable amount – about 7 bits of information per second. One of the filters that we use is the decisions that we make in a split second. These then become beliefs and cause us to believe that whatever we decided is the truth. We delete any things that are positive such as “people are there to support me”.

Watch the video below and then have a think about the questions below the video

So, I’d like to ask you what decisions have you made that create your beliefs and your reality? AND, if you decided to look for evidence that the opposite is true, would that be helpful? Could you form new beliefs and therefore have a more positive life?

Give it a go and become more aware of how you have created your reality and look for evidence of what you want and let me know if you’d like to have some help to change your beliefs to positive ones.

If you are interested in learning more about other techniques to help yourself or others to change a negative belief into a positive belief take a look at my NLP Certified Practitioner training as we have a section where we learn how to do just that using submodalities. My trainees learn and perform this technique on the course and the results are extraordinary in some cases some people having a negative belief for many years is changed to something positive in around 20 minutes!

If you want to change a negative belief get in touch with me to apply for a free 30-minute consultation HERE

Check out one of my other blogs What To Do When Your Have Limiting Beliefs About Money

Until next time,

Dr Bridget

Why should we set goals? Here’s why, how and a worksheet to help.

Why should we set goals?

Setting Goals

Setting Goals

One of the things I do early on in my NLP Certified Practitioner training is to have everyone set their goal and understand some of the things that are essential for creating a compelling goal.  People who have completed the course often feedback that setting their goal is one of their favourite parts of the early training as it really gives them a sense of where they are going.

It’s about making sure that you have all your brain focused on the positives that you really want, this is much more effective than simply setting the old fashioned SMART goals. And the truth is, you can use these things and set goals every month, every week and every day and hour if you want to.

Watch the video below and start to set goals using the three things I discuss – I’ve also attached a pdf below the video which you can use to set your goals.

Here are the top 3 tips with a bit more of an explanation and the pdf with examples and space to write your own.

FREE PDF: 3 Must Do’s for Compelling goal setting

1.  Make sure that you write down what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Remember that what you focus on is what you get, so if you focus on what you don’t want, that’s what you will get. Also, make it about your whole life and make sure that you can act as if you already have it. If you can’t do this, then go back over your goals and ask yourself why not. Maybe you have some doubts?

2. Write down your sensory evidence for getting the goal. What will you see around you, hear and feel when you have this outcome

3. Write down when you want it, where you want it, how you are going to get it and who you want it with. Remember that all goals that are for you need to be under your control and you can get them without relying on someone else.

If you have any doubts or have set goals and never achieved them, give me a call apply for a free consultation and get some pointers. You can also fill in a form here and I will get in touch as soon as I can.

Remember, if you set compelling goals, you are likely to achieve them and if you don’t you probably won’t. If you’d like to learn more about setting goals and want to develop yourself personally and get great skills to use with teams, clients (and family) then you can become an NLP Practitioner.

If you want more help with your goals please check out How to make sure you get your goals – Part 1 to get started.

Till next time, happy goal setting

Dr Bridget

An NLP Tool – The Hero’s Journey.

Taking a Hero’s Journey

Hero's Journey

Hero’s Journey

Hello.

This is a really useful tool to overcome obstacles on your way to your goal. It is an adaptation of Joseph’s Campbell’s tool developed in 1949 and follows a structure that we can see in many tales and films. The Hero’s Journey.

Encompassing goals, obstacles, villains and mentors, it gives us a tool to be able to cross thresholds and reach our goals. Watch the video and then use the tool to realise your dreams.


In the Hero’s Journey, the hero has a goal to reach which may be to find a princess or capture a castle or round up baddies.

If you get several pieces of paper on the floor  so that you can walk the hero’s journey, you’ll have many lightbulb moments and cross the threshold that  you previously couldn’t cross.

Papers needed:-

  1. Your goal
  2. Now
  3. Your threshold – see the video for where to place this
  4. List of your mentors or role models
  5. A list of the villains – internal or external

Follow the instructions in the video to be able to cross the threshold and complete your Hero’s Journey.

This is a brilliant tool and is very kinaesthetic when you walk it out on the floor. Perhaps think about asking someone to buddy up with you and supporting each other to resolve  barriers and threshold issues so that you can reach teh goals that you have set yourself.

This is a technique I teach on my Time Line Therapy, Hypnosis and NLP Coach course. If you’d like to join a course, here’s the link for the certified NLP Practitioner course

If you find you still can’t cross your threshold, let me know and we can talk it through and start you off on this Hero’s journey.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – keeping you travelling, in business and life