Posts

Is Sympathy a Good Thing or Not?

Symapthy

Sympathy or action?

Is sympathy always useful?

A bit of a controversial post which you may not all agree with. I’m asking the question “Is it always useful to keep people stuck in a an emotion or does solving the problem sometimes serve that person better?

I was reading a post by someone recently on Social Media recently and they had shown up as being a bit miserable and had posted to get some solutions. All they got was sympathy and eventually they said, “I’m not looking for sympathy”. They were looking for ways of getting out of that emotional state.

Have a watch of the video and let me know what you think. Sympathy or Solutions or a Mix of both?

The definition of Sympathy is “Feeling sorry for someone in a particular scenario” Which we all do at times. Do you think that it is always useful for people to be shown sympathy without any solutions being offered?

I’ve been brought up to get on with things and now, as an NLP Master Trainer and Breakthrough specialist, I help people to get rid of negativity and see the solutions and move on in their life, business or career. Often you notice people running the same patterns in their thinking, their emotions and their behaviour. They want certain results but can’t get them and then people offer sympathy rather than helping them to change the patterns to get different results.

What do you think?

If you are someone who want to help others in a practical way, then NLP training is for you. Here’s the link to have a look. If you are someone that wants to take charge of their life so that you have your  own solutions and are free and fulfilled, then let me know here and we can have a talk about what solutions I can help you with.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – offering you solutions rather than sympathy

10 People That You Can Support Right Now

Who are these people that you can support?

Support

Support

Hello – We need or like to have support at the best of times and in these challenging times where there is a lot of uncertainty, it’s even more important to be clear about who these people are who you can support and vice versa. While this is a great marketing idea- thanks to Ian Dixon for this – it also applies to our social circles as well. Watch the video and then work out who your 10 people are.


So who are the 5 people who you support and they support you? Let them know that they are one of your 5. Make sure that they are unconditionally a supporter of yours as you are of them. You’ll know what’s important to you.

 

Then think about who you would like to support now so that they become your supporters at the end of the period that is challenging. From a business marketing perspective, like their posts, have calls with them and do some research on them so that you are sure they are the people that you want to support. This also applies to our social circles as well. Maybe you’ve noticed people who seem to be those who are role models, potential clients, potential suppliers or all round good eggs. You’d like to get to know them at the moment and maybe do some other interactions with them in the future. Write down those 5 people and don’t tell them. Then, once you have got to know them and have developed that relationship, you can tell them that you’d like to work or socialise with them. Write them down on a list.

If you’d like me to be one of your supporters, there are plenty of places that you can follow me, or simply put your hand up and ask me how I can support you. 07973 635102 or contact me

Until next week

Dr Bridget, helping you wherever I can.

Here are the links for the some of the services that I provide:

 

2 Ways that People Deal with Stress

People deal with stress in very different ways

Stress

How we deal with Stress

Hello –  you may have noticed through your life that people deal with stress in different ways. If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know that there are many filters that we use to create what is real for us at an unconscious level. The one that we are talking about today is called Metaprograms. One of these – there are 18 –  is how we respond to stress.

The 1st way is in a logical way – a thinking and logical way of dealing with what’s going on. They are able to look at the event from the outside. This is how I tend to respond and maybe that’s because of my childhood or because of having been a GP dealing with emergencies or maybe because, as an NLP Master Trainerand Coach, I look for patterns rather than stories.

Others deal with stress in an emotional way and think that everythings overwhelming which is very different – They are “in the event”.

The responses is context dependent- I’ve noticed that I can get quite emotional in a situation that I have taken personally.

Watch the video and then reflect on how you deal with stress below:

So, are you someone who takes a logical approach to stress or someone that is emotional when they are stressed?

Do you know people who respond in a different way and wonder why?

Who would you find it most useful to be with in a crisis?

Let me know and if you want to know more about how different people are, then think about coming n an NLP Practitioner course – here’s the link to have a look.

If you are stressed by anything at the moment, get in touch as I will do a free session with you to find out how you respond, whether it works for you and what the root cause is for you reaction style.

 Until next week-

Dr Bridget – destressing your life

 

How CAN you keep yourself positive?

Positivity- What CAN you do

Can

What Can you do?

Hi,

I’m a big fan of finding anything that you CAN do to increase your positivity. After all, that creates a great reality, has a great effect on your cells and gets you the behaviour that is useful for you. I decided many years ago, but particularly in these challenging times, that I would refuse – I know it’s a strong word, but that’s how I feel – to buy into negativity in the news or Socia Media or other people’s negative thoughts and create a life that I CAN live which will be uesful to me.

Watch the video and then have a think about possibilities for yourself.

I decide to set a routine, to make some plans, create a vision and then take actions that support those. I realise that I am fortunate to have a large garden and a pension – I know I don’t look old enough – but I strongly feel that everyone can do something to increase their positivity.

I’ve grown some chrysanthemums, planted some seeds, talked to the chickens – see video – and created a space to sit and plan. And it feels peaceful, which I know is a great state to be in.

So my question to you is “What CAN you do?” Focus on that rather than what you can’t and create a positive reality for when we are able to do more things. If you are struggling with what you CAN do, then let me know  on this contact form and let’s have a chat.

Until next week, GO FOR IT!

Dr Bridget – creating positive states in you

How to Keep Yourself in a Bubble

Bubble

Staying in Your Bubble

Staying in Your Bubble

When I was looking up google keywords and phrases for Bubble, I found that it was generally considered negative to keep in a bubble and I thought – Blimey! To me its the same as having strong boundaries and very useful in the Corona Virus Pandemic that we find ourself dealing with. I’m wondering what you think?

I bought a bubble – see photo – in a Royal Horticultural Show a few years ago and sometimes go in there to think, to plan and sometimes to coach. And when I’m in there, it feels safe and peaceful and it’s just me and whatever I create.

Watch the video below and then consider whether you think it’s useful or not. If you find it useful, what do you want to put in it?

I find it’s a great place to just be – whether that’s a pod like this or a bit of the garden or somewhere in the house.

It can be a metaphorical bubbble which encompasses your whole life.

Questions

  • What sort of environment would you like to have your bubble in?
    • Would it be peaceful or busy?
    • Inside or outside?
  • What would you like to put in your bubble and why?
    • Books?
    • Journals?
    • The media?
    • Your phone or computer?
    • Anything else?
  • Who would you like to have in your bubble and why?
    • Your supporters?
    • Your positive people?
    • Your mood hoovers? Those who suck your energy out of you. Maybe not?
    • Your family or colleagues

So, you decide – where you want that bubble to be and what and who you want in it – it all comes down to how you want to feel

Let me know.

If you need help to create a safe bubble where you can thrive and live your life to the full, get in touch.

I’ll see you next week when I will still probably be in my bubble – take care and stay safe!

Dr Bridget – keeping you safe

P.S I am running an NLP Practitioner course in May , most of which will be on-line. I’m looking forward to it – if you feel like  joining me and gaining those skills, let me know. Here’s the link.

P.P.S I am now a Master Trainer – there are just a few of us in the UK and I’m really excited to be able to train NLP trainers and great presenters next year. Please stick your congratulations in the comments – I’m  proud of myself.

 

 

 

Taking Control in a Crisis

Taking Control in a Crisis

Introduction to Taking Control in a Crisis

If you understand how you get results and then make changes, adversity becomes an opportunity to get the resuts that you want.


 

Part 1 – Understanding how you get results

 

This video talks about how you get results, whether that is in times of crisis or other times. Its fascinating to understand the process that we all go through to get results.


 

Part 2 – Dealing with Acute Fear

 

In a crisis, people often have acute negative emotions that don’t help. Here are some tips to overcome those emotions during a crisis.


 

Part 3 – Dealing with Uncertainties

 

The changes that happen during an acute crisis create uncertainty and Dr Bridget talks about how to deal with these changes and create certainty within the uncertainty.


 

Part 4 – Taking Control

This video is about taking control. Creating structure and boundaries and having plans will help. We can control a variety of things that are central to us and can’t control things external to us. We can decide what we can start, what we can change and what we can stop.

 


 

Part 5 – I Can’t Focus

 

Many people that I’ve spoken to are suffering from a lack of focus. In a crisis there are many things that distract us. If our unconscious mind doesn’t have clear direction, then anxiety is created. This video also gives some tools to create clarity and focus.


 

Part 6 – Creating a Plan in your Mind

 

There is a NLP structure for creating a plan that you will get because its so compelling. I give you the tools to do this in today’s video.

 


 

Part 7 – Creating a Compelling Outcome or Goal

 

This video builds on the compelling goal that you created yesterday and puts it into your unconsciosu mind so that you will have that to focus on.

 


 

Part 8 – Creating a Great Emotional State

 

In this video I teach you to anchor great emotional states that you can recall at any time. This will drive your physiology and your behaviour which will get us great results.

 


 

If you need some help, schedule a call with me and we can do a free 1/2 hour phone call to find out how I can help you.

If you would lilke to learn more about the fascinating subject of NLP, then here is a link for the courses

Whats Wrong with Being a People Pleaser?

People pleaser

People pleaser

What is a People pleaser?

I think a people pleaser is someone who says Yes when they maybe want to say No. They don’t want to be abandoned or rejected and want to be liked. They spend their time worrying, feeling guilty, planning how to be useful to others and this takes up a lot of energy.

Watch the video and see if any of the root causes below apply to you.

What I notice is that often people who are people pleasers have had trauma during their formative years. Some examples of people pleasing root causes would be:

  • Striving to be noticed
  • Keeping the peace
  • Living with someone who controls them
  • Feeling abandoned or rejected

The consequences of being a people pleaser is that you end up giving more than you get and then you feel resentful. Often this starts off a downward spiral and self esteem becomes low. So you then make even more of an effort and it becomes one of those viscious circles.

The importance of knowing who you are, being happy with yourself and looking after yourself 1st is something that will break the people pleaser cycle. Often people will struggle with putting themselves 1st altho you can help other people more effectively if you do.

If you know anyone or are struggling with this yourself, contact me and we can start to change the way that you think.

Share this post with anyone that will find it useful and I’ll see you next week

Dr Bridget – helping you put yourself 1st

What Can We Do about Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

Hello!

We are going through some very interesting times with the Corona Virus pandemic and now is exactly the right time to do something about our self-sabotage. When we feel under pressure and unsafe, that’s when our unconscious mind starts to throw out even more of that negative chatter which keeps us stuck

Last week I talked about how we know we are doing self-sabotage and the symptoms of it,  which can be procrastination, hiding, picking arguments, becoming ill and many other symptoms. We waste time not going for what we want and not being who we want to be and, at this time, that is even more important!

Watch the video and then find out what we can do about it underneath:

  • We need to find out what the root cause of the self-sabotage is, so listen to the negative chatter in your head and go back in time to see whan this behaviour started. Its often in childhood.
  • Understand that your unconscious mind is there to protect you from experiencing pain, hurt, fear and other negative emotions again. Just acknowledging that helps enormously.
  • Do some journalling – here’s a link to Dale Darley’s journals. If you don’t want to buy one then get an exercise book and some pens and just start writing or drawing. Getting your thoughts out of  your unconscious mind is really helpful.
  • Start positive behaviours such as self care – make sure that is true self care rather than an excuse to procrastinate and self-sabotage. Find positive people and ask for help if needed
  • Change your patterns of behaviour – using NLP, these can be changed in a very short length of time – from 1/2 hour to 3 hours to do Time Line Therapy

Really consider contacting me to do some Time Line Therapy – it gets rid of negative emotions and limiting thoughts and negative chatter very quickly – Having become very skilled at helping people in this way, I can’t really understand why people would spend many hours talking things through when this, as a content free process, just solves things really comfortably. It almost sounds too good to be true but I’ve worked with many people in business and life who’s lives have been changed by this process – have a look at the testimonials on my breakthrough therapy page.

If you fancy training to become an NLP coach, have a look at my NLP course pages. We also solve all of  your limitations on the course, as well.

Think about where youre going and what you want to be doing and, if you can’t do that, let me know as the solution is easy

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping you to live the life you want

 

Using Your Brain to Change your Internal Picture

Changing your Internal Picture using your Brain

Brain

Using your brain

Hello!

We create our reality from the vast amount of information that comes into our senses using filters and end up with an internal picture of what’s going on. The filters include our experiences and memories, our values and our beliefs amongst other things.  The resulting picture consists of things that are visual auditory and kinaesthetic (feelings) mainly. This “picture” creates our emotional state, changes our physiology and creates behaviours and therefore results. And this is sometimes useful and sometimes not.

I recently had a client who felt very angry in a specific situation and couldn’t get past that anger and when I asked her where the picture was – it was right in front of her, so no wonder she couldn’t get past it. Our brain has created that picture and store it unconsciously and therefore can easily change that picture by changing the components of the picture.

Have a watch of the video and then follow the instructions below in the blog to change any picture you have in your head that is unhelpful.

So there are a couple of things you can do to change the picture – well there are many – but I’m going to give you a couple:

  1. With the lady with the anger, I sent her a set of comic angry people which made her laugh and she decided to use one of those pictures instead of the one she had created.
  2. I ask this question – it’s a very specific one. “When you think of that situation or person, do you have a picture?” Precise wording is important. My client said it was straight in front of her. I then asked her to move that picture to the left hand side of her. Her emotional state changed when she did that becuse the  meaning of the picture had changed because the location had changed. You can also “throw” the picture behind your body. Your unconscious mind then cannot see the picture and therefore again the state changes

So next time when you have a picture in your head that is unuseful or bothers you say to yourself:

“When  you think about the person or situation – do you have a picture?”

Then put your hand where it is and move picture to left hand side – no picture will be there when  you think about it then. Or throw picture behing you – it’s then not there.

This is an easy way to reduce negative emotions and it may be useful for you in getting your goals if there are things stopping you.

If it doesn’t help, contact me to let me know.

These skills are taught on my NLP courses and in 1:1 coaching so have a look at the options and let me know if you want to start the conversation.

Til next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you use your brain to change your life!

How Isolation Affects Us in Life and in Business

The Effects of Isolation

Isolation

Isolation

Hello – I’m guessing we have all felt isolated at times and that maybe you have noticed the effect it has had on your mental or physical health. I’ve been doing some work with the Men’s Shed Cymru recently and we had some fun in a workshop and also filming to raise awareness. It’s an organisation that helps men who are isolated by giving them a community and activities. Isolation is a very real problem in life and in business and recognising how we contribute to that feeling of isolationthrough our beliefs is vital.

Watch the video and reflect on whether you or someone you know feels isolated and let me know if I can help.

Sometimes we believe that we will be a nuisance or that we can’t ask for help or that no-one will want to help or speak to us. And that the starts a downward spiral where we hide away and become miserable.

The key thing is to notice any isolation and do something about it. Whether it is an organisation such as the Men’s Shed or other organisations which are relevant to your specific circumstances, get in touch with them. I go networking which helps my business grow and also gives me human interaction which is important to me. So, get some people around you that you can talk to and you will find out who is there when you need help.

And of course, I am always here and if you are struggling to find support, let me know and we can have a call to offer some solutions.

If you are in business, I run a weekly Mastermind group on-line called STRETCH which is supportive and enables you to grow and have support.

In the meantime, see you next week

Dr Bridget, removing the isolation – and maybe getting a higher chair to do the next video?

 

 

That Old Problem of Anxiety

How to get rid of Anxiety

Anxiety

Anxiety Treatment

Anxiety means different things to different people – I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has never had anxiety and I occasionally do it myself. What is really apparent is that it can be disabling and unpleasant and stops us  being who we want to be, doing what we want to do and having what we want to have. The symptoms range from paralysis, insomnia, and has many repercussions in peoples lives, relationships, work or business.

When I was a GP, I used to refer people to have counselling, CBT or give them medication. Since using Neuro Linguistic Progrqmming instead, many more people have been helped in a much quicker way.

Tad James, the founder of the American Board of NLP, says that anxiety is often a symptom that our unconscious mind isn’t really focusing on what we really want to do. And because of this, it behaves in a random and undirected fashion which is uncomfortable and can be destructive

Watch the video below and I’ll give you tips below it:


In some ways, the analogy of a capain – our conscious mind, and his crew – our unconscious mind, can be used. If the captain is clear about what needs to happen, the crew will follow orders. If the captain is not clear, the crew will not know what to do and create feelings of anxiety and some random behaviour.

So, things that will help are;

Goal setting to include:

  • Who you want to be
  • What you want to do
  • What you want to have
  • By when

Taking action:

  • Towards the goal
  • To set boundaries
  • To get positive supportive people in your life
  • For yourself, not others

Notice triggers  and remember them:

  • What makes you anxious
  • What keeps you calm

Then I think that getting rid of the root cause of fear and putting goals into the future, which people are then confident to take action towards, will solve the vast majority of anxiety.

I use a process called Time Line Therapy which gets rid of major negative emotions and any limiting beliefs very quickly- in fact, it’s the reason that I am coaching rather than retiring. The major negative emotions are Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt.

If you, or anyone you know, wants to get rid of their anxiety so that it becomes an old problem, then get in touch. I either work with people in a Breakthrough Coaching process to solve this problem over 2 days with follow up support, or help them by giving them the skills to learn the techniques in my NLP training. Also, watch this video if you are interested in the training  or fill in the contact form to speak to me about it.

Remember that you only have One Life and living a calm, happy and fulfilled one is my aim for  you.

Till next week

Dr Bridget – solving your anxieties

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Importance of Keeping Boundaries

Boundaries are important for success

Boundaries

Keeping your boundaries

Hello – today I’m going to talk about boundaries.

They are the things that either keep you small, that keep you where you are, or enable you to become empowered and leading the life that you want. Many people that I talk to are clients that have made some big leaps towards their goals and are feeling happy and are doing the actions needed to stay fulfilled and living their life to the full. However, if they don’t sort out and keep their boundaries following the work that we do, then they can stop progressing and even go backwards.

And people who are stuck or feeling as though they are getting in their own way have often got people, their environment or even the media affecting their thinking and creating blocks to progress.

The sort of boundary that I’m talking about is something that, if crossed,  lowers your emotional state, stops you from taking action towards what you want and can create conflict in your mind. It’s something (virtual) that you put around you to prevent these things from happening. Have a watch of the video below and then reflect on your own boundaries

The questions that I have for you are:

  • Do you feel as though you are moving towards what you want in your life?
  • If not, are there people or things that are stopping you from doing that?
  • Do you know what these things are?
  • What actions do you need to take to keep these boundaries?

Here are some thoughts about actions that you can take:

Positive people – make sure that you either don’t interact with negative people or give them some feedback so that they change their behaviour. Sometimes we don’t tell people how we feel and therefore they have no idea that we are upset or in doubt. Find some really awesome support.

Positive environment – If your environment is not positive- your office, your home, your other environments that you regularly use- then make some changes and see how that affects your behaviours. You’ll know if that is the case.

Positive beliefs and values – If you have negative beliefs, then they will cause you to feel low and not take action. If you can’t get rid of these, let me know and I can help you change them to empowering beliefs.

Positive mindset –  This consists of useful values, empowering beliefs, having positive memories, having great strategies and behaviours and , of course, keeping your boundaries.

You can work with me to get that positive mindset by contacting me and having an initial free chat where we can discuss where you want to be and what might be stopping you. I will then tell you how I can help  you.

Also NLP Practitioner training is a great way of learning those skills to keep great boundaries and you will have lots of supportive people to work with as well. Click here to find out about our next course.

Till next week

Dr Bridget- keeping you moving